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Self confidence - Teeth
jasonlester
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
For most of my life, I have had extremely low self confidence, mainly due to my teeth among a range of other things. My teeth are absolutely horrible. They are crooked, discolored and disgusting, despite brushing twice a day diligently since I can remember. I have no idea why they are like they are, but they are.
Every photo I see of myself, I'm not smiling. I can't stand the thought of me smiling in a photo. I don't even like talking to people. Whenever I do, I look directly at the ground. When I open my mouth slightly, I cover it with my hand to hide.
My high school life was good, and I had a relatively small group of close friends. Now that I have started college I'm meeting new people, and I'm finding if very difficult. I have more friends at college now than I did at High School in 6 years. I can't help but think what they think of me though. In conversations I usually keep quiet due to worrying about them seeing, and what I look like.
I'm 19 now, and have known I would need braces at one stage. I have put it off and off and should have got them last October, but I didn't. I really do need them, but I will have to have them for two years. As insignificant as this sounds in the grand scheme of things, I honestly don't think I'd be able to deal with it. I'm already down as it is, I just don't think I could handle it. I feel it would make my situation worse in the short run. People will notice them, I'd have to talk about them, Urgh. In the long run, I could get my teeth capped or whatever, and be normal.
This whole problem is so stupid, but I can't help it. I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to not think this way.
I don't know what my girlfriend really thinks about it either. She insists she doesn't care, but once again, I can't shake the feeling that she really does. I'm so insecure.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Every photo I see of myself, I'm not smiling. I can't stand the thought of me smiling in a photo. I don't even like talking to people. Whenever I do, I look directly at the ground. When I open my mouth slightly, I cover it with my hand to hide.
My high school life was good, and I had a relatively small group of close friends. Now that I have started college I'm meeting new people, and I'm finding if very difficult. I have more friends at college now than I did at High School in 6 years. I can't help but think what they think of me though. In conversations I usually keep quiet due to worrying about them seeing, and what I look like.
I'm 19 now, and have known I would need braces at one stage. I have put it off and off and should have got them last October, but I didn't. I really do need them, but I will have to have them for two years. As insignificant as this sounds in the grand scheme of things, I honestly don't think I'd be able to deal with it. I'm already down as it is, I just don't think I could handle it. I feel it would make my situation worse in the short run. People will notice them, I'd have to talk about them, Urgh. In the long run, I could get my teeth capped or whatever, and be normal.
This whole problem is so stupid, but I can't help it. I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to not think this way.
I don't know what my girlfriend really thinks about it either. She insists she doesn't care, but once again, I can't shake the feeling that she really does. I'm so insecure.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
jasonlester on
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Seriously, get them.
I just wonder what could be done when I take them off, in terms of capping and such.
How do you find they affect your daily life in terms of eating and even speech? Will I have a lisp?
What probably makes it worse, though, is that you're so self conscious about it that you end up drawing attention to it. If you're covering your mouth or trying hard to never let people see your teeth, you're probably just feeding people's curiosity -- "why is he laughing like that? oh, his teeth... he must be self conscious about them."
But if it does bug you and you want or need braces, exis is spot on -- it's actually easier to have braces as an adult because people don't pick on you. Taunts of "metal mouth" are decidedly grade school. But, also, realize that people aren't judging you by your teeth, at least not anymore. Sure you may not land a role as the new face for Crest anytime soon, but if you try to get over it and just smile, you'll probably be happier sooner.
And when you get braces, embrace them. Realize that they're going to make you like your teeth more; don't be embarrassed by something like that.
I have, but there is no chance.
By horrible, I really do mean it. I'm talking two teeth on top coming out over other ones that haven't fallen out yet. I'll need to get 2 teeth pulled, and have them wired to come down.
Eggy, I think you're well and truly out of line in casting this as a vanity issue, even though the OP does need to fight past the self-conciousness in order to feel happy.
Making it a point or topic of conversation really helps. In my case, I went from having Bugs Bunny mouth and a severe overbite and in just 6 months having a normal jaw and tooth alignment. After that, it was just growing into it.
You need to do it NOW. The idea behind braces is that your teeth grow into the alignment and it's easier to stay that way. If you wait until you're an adult when you begin, you'll have to have them on 2+ years and wear a retainer religiously. Make an appointment TODAY, even if it's for another consultation. You need to get on this and face your issues. For me, it was talking about it or making it a point to mention it - the herbst helps, but many people have braces, so you're more than likely to find people who know exactly what it was like and are sympathetic.
Go for it son
As for teeth colouration and cleanliness
Replace your brush often, whenever the bristles are discoloured halfway down at the longest.
Eat/drink less brown stuff, coffee, coke, chocolate, etc etc.
They can still kind of tame them back into place; braces basically just apply pressure to the teeth in the direction you want them to move, then over a long time they gradually reposition. They might not be able to get them perfect, but perfect teeth look odd anyway. You don't want perfect teeth, just good healthy teeth. I think for extreme cases they can even go the plastic surgery route and basically bash your teeth out and reposition them 'correctly'.
As you grow older, it typically becomes less of a negative (He he, he has braces!) and more of a positive since people realize you are taking care of yourself. As people grow older, they typically become more mature and see the practical side of things as well.
I mean, anyone I know, if they saw someone my age (27) with braces, the comment they'd probably make is "Damn, that's late to get braces". As others have mentioned, braces are not uncommon. I wore them for years myself.
also, just don't be self conscious. obviously, MUCH easier said than done, but as others have said, the people who matter don't care. my ex had somewhat bad teeth, and that was the last thing I cared about. I still loved kissing her and all that.
DO EEEEET
I'm hardly saying it's vanity; I'm saying that many people are unhappy with their teeth, and that the OP isn't alone. If he has serious problems, braces probably won't give him "perfect teeth," but he should be OK with that.
My point is that being so self conscious about it doesn't solve anything -- it draws attention to it, instead. He should get the braces, but instead of dreading them he should look forward to them.
You're making it sound like I'm saying "suck it up, it's not so bad, no one likes their nose/ears/lips." I said "get the braces."
Also, get the braces. Adults don't friggin' care about them - that's little kid bullshit.
It made me feel so much better about myself afterwards. I'm not ashamed to open my mouth anymore, and big smiles come naturally to me. Best decision ever.
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They're not comfortable the first few days, and you'll be feeling the crunch after every adjustment, and there will be extra nooks and crannies to brush, but overall, the braces will be worth it.
Just go to Walmart and buy one of those mega jugs of Ibuprofen, that stuff works wonders on tooth pain.
I'm not sure what you mean by "capping", are you talking about getting veneers? Don't fucking do that if you have the opportunity to actually fix your teeth. Veneers are expensive to do well (as much or more than 2 years on braces), they have their own issues. A good set will last you maybe ten years, and then you have to do it again because they'll start getting loose and you're married to getting veneers again because most of your enamel has been filed off (and then again after 10 years, etc, until you die, unless you do dentures); each time you get a new set of veneers you'll have more enamel removed.
To clarify, there's nothing wrong with having veneers, just don't get them if you can get your teeth fixed. You may think it's a quick fix, but getting braces would be the better solution.
You'll miss things like apples, and gum and hard candy for the time you have braces, but the end result is well worth it.
There's also another option besides invisalign(which also won't work for me), and that's lingual braces. They're applied to the backside of your teeth so they're not visible to other people. They may only work for either the top teeth or the bottom, I'm not sure, but you should check it out.
I'm also worried about making them make me look younger. I'm already pretty short, and will be looking for a job in years time for my college course.
Also, are there any whitening treatments that you can buy (even on the internet, doesn't have to be local) that actually work? I want to look into that too, but a) don't want something that will destroy my teeth and b) something that actually works. I have a white spot on my tooth (no idea why) but the rest aren't that color.
Once, again, thanks a lot guys and girls
At-home whiteners are bollocks. And even the dentist ones aren't permanent; you have to change your diet to stop them going yellow again. Normal teeth aren't blinding white, so consider carefully whether its worth it to you.
The little patches, as my dentist explained to me, are the result of changes in the enamel/tooth structure triggered by temporary things like childhood illnesses and certain drugs. Antibiotics are apparently one of the causes. Its not generally a structural problem, just a record of something that happened to you while that tooth was forming. But ask your dentist about stuff like this anyway, they'll be happy to answer your questions.
I don't think you need to worry about it making you look younger. Had a co-worker in her 30's who had them (she's small) and I don't think it made her look any younger. Why exactly would looking younger count against you? And your prospective employer will know how old you are anyways, when reading your CV or doing a background check.
Most whitening agents (even OTC) are peroxide-based, and they'll work, but they'll fuck up your teeth if you do it too much. And if you drink tea/coffee or smoke, that will continue to stain your teeth. If you're going to have your teeth whitened wait til AFTER the braces. It's very possible that some discoloration will occur when you get the braces (little bits of metal glued to your teeth, but the uncovered bits will still be exposed to staining/bleaching agents you're ingesting). So wait til after your braces are off til you do any whitening (IMO).
But in the mean time, you might wanna learn to ignore em. Braces will obscure them somewhat, but folks don't really care about teeth when they meet you unless you make them care. I don't think any less of a man with a missing tooth, I just figure he's got history. If your breath is good and you act the part of a fine, upstanding citizen that's exactly what you'll be in the eyes of those you meet.
And do it soon, as they all say. You won't regret it in two years.
Don't be ashamed. Smiling is important to your happiness. This is so cliche, but it isn't superficial stuff like your smile or your eye color that makes people want to be around you, it's who you are inside. Don't let this issue change who that is, or you'll regret it. The people you hang out with have already noticed your teeth, and because they still hang with you, you can tell they aren't bothered by them. So smile!
Kudos for posting about this. I'm glad you're acting on the advice, too! Lots of luck!
Hell, thats something in general to keep in mind to help with your confidence issues. Sometimes you have to do things that have short term unpleasantness to improve your life.
But uh, those crest trays, I'm told, work wonders. I have no idea how they are for your teeth, but my mom used the strips for a short period of time, and really worked well to combat coffee stains and such. She also stopped drinking coffee, I don't know how well they would work if you kept chugging that shit.
Keep in mind, you should brush your teeth after eating. So, twice a day is good, but if you give them a quick once-over mid-day after lunch, it can help keep them white. Stick to water, no juice or pop.
It's not that I'm worried about people "teasing" me about braces. It's hard to explain. I'm just worried what they'll think of me. I know no one would say anything, I'd just be paranoid about what they're thinking. It's completely stupid though, so I'm just trying not to think about it.
I've also taken the advice and given up soft drinks and such. My teeth aren't unhealthy per se, but they are discolored. When I go to the dentist, I haven't needed any fillings or anything.
The white spot I think is fluoride or something. As a child I was incredibly sick with Asthma. That might have something to do with it. I just wish there was something that I could do before I put the braces on. Just something over the counter. I brush my teeth a lot, sometimes even 3 times a day, even more other times.
I have no idea why they are discolored. I don't want them "white blinding white", but I want them a lot whiter.
Thanks for all the help everyone.
Go for the braces. I have to get my wisdom teeth out, and have a root canal and then I'm all over the braces thing as well.
I wore the retainer for half a year before I stopped. Now the thing can't even fit in my mouth and my teeth have shifted slightly. . . But I actually think it's a bit of a bonus, because it looks like I've just had really nice teeth to begin with and people think that I have never had braces. . .
that was annoying but didn't last long
don't get discouraged, a few months/year on braces is a tiny price to pay for beauty
Good choice man.
dental wax is your friend
don't think i would have made it through two different sets of braces without it
on a similar note, you'll probably get a retainer after your treatment. USE IT. i ended up having a second set of braces precisely because i was lazy about wearing my retainer. you'll probably have to wear it at all times (except when eating) for like 6 months, then one day a week or overnight.