In a few weeks I’m going to be starting an internship in which I’ll be working with high-schoolers in a program designed to get their grades up, as well as subtly try to help the students get rid of some of the habits that got them poor grades in the first place. There are a few students in the class who are in the program due to video game addiction, and I have a particular interest in helping them because I feel most people trying to help them aren't nearly as familiar with the Internet-culture and video games in general as I may be, so I may hold an advantage.
I played WoW for some time in high school, and although I never got addicted to it in the same sense that these students have, I feel I only avoided that fate through some good events that came my way around that time period. Unfortunately, telling the students messages like “well, maybe a really social girlfriend will just fall into your completely asocial lap and force you to get out and do stuff†isn’t particularly good advice.
I know a number of people who have gotten addicted to WoW. Some broke the addiction; some had their lives ruined by it. It appears as if people addicted to WoW have their lives slowly but steadily worsened by their addiction. For those who quit, it was because their lives deteriorated to a point that made them go “no way, that’s not how I want my lifeâ€. Perhaps watching friends rejoice over AP test scores while the person sat in remedial classes, or watching friends graduate while the person repeated the year, or watching friends finish college and get professional jobs while the person still floated menial job to menial job, or watching friends get married and have children while the person struggled to pay for their one bedroom apartment alone. The problem is that as time goes by each of these “reality check†moments gets more severe and the distance in lifestyle between the addict and mainstream society grows even larger. Furthermore, the further one gets from normality the harder it appears to quit the game and return to normality.
So I want to be able to help the students now by trying to impart such a “reality check†moment before their lives are severely hindered by the game and returning to normality becomes an incredibly difficult ordeal. I want more anecdotal stories to tell the students, true cases of people who consider themselves addicted to video games, or consider themselves ex-addicts to video games. I want to make the students get a strong feeling of the experience of full-fledged video game addiction so that they can quit before quitting becomes so much more difficult that the mere knowledge of the game ruining your life isn’t enough to prompt them to stop playing.
So, I really want to hear some accounts from addicts or ex-addicts about WoW. Any input at all really. How you felt about the video game when you played, or how you feel about it now. How you feel about addiction to a video game, or breaking the addiction, or failing to break the addiction. What does it feel like to be addicted? Why haven’t you quit yet or what made you quit?
Both personal stories and the stories of your friends’ lives are valuable to me; both will provide me with the necessary stories. I understand that this is a sensitive topic, so you can just send me a private message if you want, or you can send me an email at
hruka22@gmail.com if that makes you more comfortable.
This isn’t the most typical problem that adolescents face, but it is one that’s increasing in prevalence. So if you have ever experienced what I talked about above, or if you know someone who has and can tell their story, please do, because the vast majority of people who read this won’t have anything to contribute, so it’s up to you to do so.
PS: I hate to have to include this but PA threads get derailed so easily. Please don’t make this a debate about whether video game addiction exists, or whether violence in video games has any effect, or whether video games should be age-restricted or whatever else.
Please keep this thread specific to the experience of being addicted to video games.
Thank you for your stories.
Posts
I played Ultima Online for quite a long time, back when I was in 6th through 8th grade (and the summer thereafter). I had bought EQ but upon finding out I couldn't run it on the (at that point) sole computer in the house, I returned it and picked up UO. The 2D client was less demanding. Man, it was like crack cocaine! I immediately played it into the night with a friend, switching off every 45-60m. I was quite the dork and outcast at that point in my life. I got involved in a roleplaying city and had a ball with it. It was great to pretend and actually see others supporting that vision I had. Leveling up skills and fighting was even better, as I knew I couldn't do anything like this in real life. As others in said roleplaying city outclassed me, I had to show them up. I would spend many a sleepless night leveling up. It was peer pressure from a 2-inch tall avatar but hey it was working on me.
First, I picked up a trainer program. Back then it was macros, and they weren't outlawed. All you got was a GM noticing your bonzo skillgaining pace and checking to see if you were physically at the computer. So that tethered you. Suddenly I was gaining grandmaster (that is, 100% in a skill area) over 12-16 hours of sitting there. Since the GMs were sure to show up now and again, you had to sit there and watch.
And watch.
And then watch some more!
Soon I had the skills I needed. I was decent in battle, and the fun of the roleplaying had worn off a bit. So I had to decided what else to do, something to pass the time.
Deceit!
I'll leave the *ahem* specifics out, but I created a new female character and befriended the well-known richest guy in the town. Soon he was giving me equipment, money etc. so I could grow my character. Well I decided to take advantage of this nice guy by claiming that my account was hacked, striping my characters dry. Now I didn't know what the expect in return, maybe some gold, some equipment and I'd be off on my way. He had no way to know what I did and didn't have so to me it was no harm, no foul.
The guy gave me access to his storage account. As in, an account separate from his playing characters that he kept (and paid for!) to store all his vast, online riches. You could still sell stuff on eBay at the time and the virtual goods this guy had easily could have racked up in the thousands of (real) dollars. Either way, there was a character that was good at mining so the theory was that I could mine to get some gold and get back on my feet.
So I drained him!
I got my friend that I had split the game with originally to log into my real account on one computer, and I logged into the storage account on the other. We transfered all the houses over, all the gold... drained it. I then deleted the one character he knew of and off to the races I went.
I was in one of the houses a few days later looking through the contents when he showed up. He told me what had happened, not knowing who I really was. I claimed someone sold me the house for cheap and that I'd gladly sell it back at the same price -- there wasn't much there and I already had his other more expensive properties.
That night, it hit me. I was a gigantic douchenozzle. I was a dick and I knew it. The guilt became overwhelming as I realized that this guy I didn't know, who was obviously very into the game, just had everything taken from him. That probably hurt him a lot in real life. The next day I logged in and gave away the stuff of big value. I gave away the huge tower that was packed with stuff to a very happy individual rather than apologize to the guy. I feel really bad about this to this day, but like to think the guy probably moved on.
I guess in the end, John Gabriel's Internet Fuckwad Theory is what made me do it. There's nothing fulfilling about it in the end, but it takes a lot to realize that.
I totally agree with this. I've gotten addicted to several games over my life, but I've also gotten addicted to several other things as well. Some people just have a tendency to latch on to things they enjoy in an unhealthy ratio.
Same here. In my freshman year of high-school I poured almost all my time into FFXI. I was stressing the hell out because of some personal issues, and since I'd always had a scared/adverserial relationship to my peers, my life at school seemed, well, hellish. Online I had a mask, there were simpler social cues, it was easy to prove/build my value; I met a lot of nice people and we had ~fun. The boring grind didn't phase me -- it seemed sort of equivalent to the boring grind of boring homework, and I was more comfortable lavishing effort on the virtual world that didn't suck. Later I got a grip and transitioned to playing WoW pretty healthily, prioritizing school and sleep. Over the next couple of years I gradually lost interest in the genre, to the point where I don't play now -- though to be honest, I don't think I'd be much worse off if I did.
Point is: escapism? is frequently an attempt to escape.
I've got a fairly good anecdote.
After graduating college, I decided I'd take a stab at the honor grind in WoW, try to get Grand Marshal. A buddy of mine from college rolled on the same server as me and we were both level 60. We decided to reward ourselves with some well-earned WoW time and try to "make a name" for ourselves on our server. Well, we dove in headfirst. Literally we played 12-15 hours a day, everyday for a period of almost three months.
Every few nights we'd get together between 4 and 6am, whenever we stopped playing, to just chill and talk about something OTHER than WoW. After the two and a half month mark, we hit a plateau, we simply weren't progressing anymore. We were 6th and 7th, respectively on our server for overall PvP rank.
Everyday I had to force myself to play my hardest, otherwise I'd backslide and lose the progress that I'd gained. It's not healthy to be that stressed over a video game. I was tied to my computer desk. Even though I wanted to go out with friends, I could not... because a night out could cost me weeks of effort ingame. Video games aren't meant to be this demanding, they're meant to be a fun diversion from real life, not a constant part of your life you need to worry about when not playing.
After two weeks of not moving forward whatsoever, we got together at 5am for breakfast at Denny's... and we both simply snapped out of it. I suddenly felt physically ill thinking about waking up the next day at noon to start all over again. I just couldn't do it anymore, neither could he. We both went home and cancelled our accounts, went to bed... then I slept well for the first time in ages. I never made it to Grand Marshal, but I realized that it just didn't matter.
The only problem with my anecdote is that I broke the cycle myself. I had no outside help, I just decided that I had enough. That could be a big problem if you're trying to help someone else break an addiction... if they don't want to break it, it's going to be hard to convince them otherwise. If you can get them to admit they have a problem, you're well on your way.
WoW is fun if you're not addicted. I had quit at the start of the summer, had fun OUTSIDE, then returned to WoW with fresh eyes in the fall. I had broken my addiction entirely. It was very easy for me to put the game down at anytime (literally I would make excuses to leave during raids, or just pully my connection and pretend I got DC'd).
Unsure if this will help you in anyway, but that's my story of addiction. Feel free to edit it in anyway should you use it. In the end, for all my efforts, I got a title, a horse that Blizzard eventually gave to everyone and armor that Blizzard also gave to everyone. I worked insanely hard and then Blizzard turned around and made it super easy for any player to get what I had with a fraction of the effort.
I believe that this is the biggest point of contention you should use for these kids. WoW goes in cycles. At first it's difficult to obtain equipment... but eventually Blizzard will make concessions and make it very easy to get said equipment. There is no point in wasting your time playing WoW simply because eventually all your "hard work" will be made moot by a patch or expansion.
15 hours a day, everyday, for three months... but with the changes, players were able to obtain what I had within a week of hard play. Was it really worth it?
It looks like the path that the posters so far, and I, have taken earlier in life involved a lot of video games as a form of escapism from a world we weren't succeeding as well in, but rather than continuing to get deeper and deeper into the online world, we came out of and resumed normal lives. So what was the deciding factor between bouncing back into normality and delving deeper into addiction?
I don't know why, but at some point in high school I gained a circle of friends rather than being an outcast, gained a girlfriend who I dated for several years, and suddenly found the ability/drive to do schoolwork and my GPA jumped from Bs/Cs to all As. I don't know what caused it, but I don't think that having your entire life turned around for no apparent reason is the way most people quit. So I can't really base what to say to these students on my own experience, at least for this part, so what made you resume a less video-game oriented life?
That's... such an excellent point. Wow, I never thought about it that way, but it really does take a lot of the pressure out of that "If I don't play for 8 hours today I'll lose a week's worth of progress" feeling.
Good point, Ragnar.
That's exactly it, my friend. It simply happened. I was an outcast throughout elementary school, but became quite popular in highschool. Although, I continued to play video games just as much until I hit college.
I've always had the drive to succeed... and I've always been quite competitive. These two traits together have driven me to do well in school, even when I was "addicted" to video games.
There just comes a point in your life when you wake up and realize that you have to take your life into your own hands. Unfortunately though, I don't think this moment does come to everyone.
My parents signed me up for sophmore year at new school. The prospect of a fresh start made me feel more empowerful. I improved some even before the end of my freshman year. I'm not exactly sure where I would have gone otherwise, since I'm not terribly competitive and my "drive to succeed" is easily muddled.
edit: I really hope your intent in this isn't to fear-monger the children and make them feel guilty about their "dirty habit" as you seem to be saying, my mind conjures up images of Western religions demonizing masturbation - that will only scar them and hold them back from enjoying something that can be a very positive influence in moderation. You honestly need both sides of the coin, and you need to bring other things into the discussion besides "OMG LOOK HOW BAD IT CAN DAMAGE YOU AND YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FUTURE CAREER". Your goal should be to widen their perspective such that they want to prioritize grades, don't forget that.
Doing a social activity and building friendships can lead to more self-confidence which alone might improve their grades, and if that doesn't work now they have a group of friends to have study sessions with!
The less isolated they are the better they'll do - period.
Actually, the guild threw in the towel at the 18 hour mark. The mob was still happily going.
You (and the poster following you) are totally correct in that simply demonizing video games won't have any positive effect. In order to lower their video game habits, they need to have something to fill that gap, and since I'm going to be showing up at the very beginning of the year I'm hoping to convince some of them to join sports and clubs.
I don't intend to demonize it at all, that's why I want to get mainly personal true stories rather than "well I heard this one kid played WoW for 20 hours and then stabbed over 9000 hobos". It is important for them to see that although video games can be enjoyed that they need to sit at the bottom of the heiarachy or actions, so that going to soccer practice or work or doing homework or hanging out with friends needs to take precedence. However, first I need to get them involved in some of those things because currently they don't go out, do homework, join clubs or sports. So it's not like they're passing those things up for video games, they just have nothing but video games and I need to show them that there should be.
It might also help to use sources that are guided by scientific principles, rather than relying merely on anecdote. There is some research being done on MMORPGs from a psychologicial perspective which might be useful.
Haha, I just watched the first episode of The Guild and it's actually really funny, thanks.
I can tell that you are genuinely concerned about these students but if you're not an officially licensed therapist I think you should start talking to someone who is. I'm hoping you're seeing what you're doing in this thread as a way to help these students recognize their addiction and to help them in finding someone who can help them overcome it rather than trying to fix them yourself.
To give you my own anecdote, my older brother used to be addicted to WoW. He would set my laptop up in the TV room while I was out being productive, and play the game for 8 to 12 hours a day, every day, for like 6 months. During which he'd be watching day time soap operas and TV series DVDs. I finally realized what he was doing when the sweat from his hands permanently stained the finish on my laptop, I was so mad about it that I put a bios password on it. That way he'd have to ask to use it, and I could control how long he used it for. Eventually when he wasn't able to do whatever stuff you do in wow for 8 hours, and when I told him "if I hear that god damned Will and Grace theme song one more time, I swear to god, you'll know what it's like to be choked to death with your own entrails!" He lost started to lose interest in it.
I think he was doing it out of boredom because at the time he had no friends, had quit his job(s) because he hates doing anything apparently, and only had enough money to play wow. (he already alienated himself from them years ago, probably a side effect of the issues he has that helped him become addicted to WoW)
now he hangs out with my friends fairly often, has a new job (which he also hates) but the job is actually like, a career path type of job, what with opportunity for advancement and being a skilled trade and all.
Addiction is always the symptom of a larger problem.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
1) Dog's gotta be fed and walked and played with... not going to let a living creature suffer for my fun.
2) If I don't work out, I turn into a weak, whiny tub of lard.
3) The thrill of being with my girl (and not just when sexing her up) is greater than running a game.
I've gotten kicked from guilds/supergroups because I wasn't showing up to shit on Friday nights. They didn't understand it when I responded, "you know, around here we play a game called 'Friday Night Fuck Night'." I like being a part of the groups and guilds and having people to play with, but gaming is a game to me. It's not a lifestyle or some shit. I got over "living the lifestyle" after I drew "Anthrax" on my blue jean jacket and subsequently got my ass kicked by my dad.
The only thing that made me stop playing that game was I realized how miserable I had become. I didn't even like the game anymore - and I had loathed it for quite some time. It started affecting my work, and kept me from becoming self-actualized. I just kinda sat around all day, gained weight, and played WoW.
When I finally quit, there were a couple of things that kept me from going back. First, I realized that WoW isn't even that great of a game. It's way too slow, and boring as hell. Second, I realized that one of the major goals of that game was to get people hooked, and to keep people playing. Third, I started to fill up my life with other hobbies.
I think that doing other things is going to be the deciding factor on whether or not people get sucked back in. Because, if you let yourself just sit around all the time, you'll get bored and go back to doing the easiest thing you can to entertain yourself, which is playing WoW. So it's important that you fill up your time with other things that you enjoy.
No offense taken. I'm going to be a senior undergraduate next semester, but I've got hundreds of hours in a variety of internship settings (and countries!). With this internship, it's relatively laid back as far as protocol goes. We're technically there to help the students with their schoolwork and study habits, but the real point is that through working on schoolwork with the students we are able to create some sort of relationship and subtly work on the bigger issues that led to their being in this program. So it's kind of like therapy, except they don't know it, so it can't officially be called that and there isn't really official training in doing so. I think their hope is that even if you have absolutely no ability to perform the subtle goal of working on habits and goals, you can at least be setting a good example by being a happy college student participating in a competitive internship. So whatever knowledge or insight I gain in this thread will be applicable, especially since they won't really be training me in these matters but will be hoping I can accomplish something.
I wouldn't say it was a huge detriment to me academically or socially; I got pretty good grades and had an more-active-than-normal social/extracurricular life (at least, in my estimation.) Met a bunch of cool people ingame, a couple of whom I eventually got in touch with in the real world. So, as heavy players go, I thought I handled it pretty well.
Still, it became obvious to me after a while that even if I wasn't an "addict" in the real sense of the word, I was definitely using the game as an escape. There was some negative shit going on in my life: stress from school or work obligations, financial issues, etc., and rather than deal with those things in a constructive way, I'd play WoW. To a certain extent, I think that's okay. WoW's pretty cheap compared to a lot of things (I had friends whose solution was to hit the bars when they felt stressed, for example), and I probably had about as wholesome a relationship as online friendships can be. What I realized after a while was that WoW was occupying time that I ought to be using to develop friends, relationships and connections with people in real life. Once I had that realization, I couldn't help but look at WoW as a detriment to myself personally, and eventually I just quit.
What's funny is, I still value the friendships I made with people in the game. I pretty actively helped recruit my replacement in the raid, and they're still doing well, which makes me happy. I check up on the forums, and once a week I'll even log on for an hour or so and say hi to people. But it's less like a game for me now, and more like Facebook with a prettier GUI.
Anyway, that's my story. It may or may not be what you're looking for, but I think it illustrates an important point: as with any behavior, you aren't going to get a video game addict to "stop" until they see the detriment that the game is having on their own lives. I think that'd be the best way to approach the kids who are struggling: "hey, look at all the cool shit you could be doing if you weren't playing videogames!" The thing that's going to get the behavior to change is realizing the opportunity cost of it.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Currently i'm more addicted to internet browsing and TV... but this is due to a crippling fear of failure that is preventing me from doing actual work on my dissertation/doing a cv.
He nearly dropped out of high school from playing a MUD and he ended up having to repeat grades.
During college, he got addicted to WoW and after a year or two he ended up dropping out and going home to live with his parents. His parents won't force him out/away from living with them (which would probably be messy anyways), and they're constantly trying to get him to get a job which he's uninterested in doing. He's now 27 years old with no job, no friends offline, no money, and no real prospects, still playing WoW constantly which he funds by doing chores for his parents.
This thread has been interesting -- I agree with the escapism point, but I think that once it gets to a certain point no one can swoop in and fix things, the person needs to get some kind of a jolt which forces them (or makes them want to) take the first step toward fixing things.
I've talked to his parents when they've asked my advice as an adult gamer, but I've never really been able to give them any real input when they ask me what they can do to help him because I really don't think anyone from outside can.
When I was younger I used to suffer from some of the same game addiction, but as I've grown older, gotten away from my family, and have gained the responsibilities of being an adult, it's gotten easier and easier to have the perspective to say to myself, "If you start playing games X and Y aren't going to get done, and that stuff needs to get done, so you're just going to have to wait."
If you need more details or have suggestions, just PM me.
I do, but then I'm really casual player and I'm in a casual guild. The guild leader is a mother, one of our members is pregnant and most of our guild members are adults; it's just generally life is more important than the game type of guild. There's no mandatory raids, just "Hey, we're thinking about raiding *whatever* Saturday afternoon, sign up if you want to go." I really only play an hour or so at night, while my dogs are sleeping and I have no other plans.
I've never had to use it, but I'm also pretty sure WoW has parental controls that can be set to limit how much you can play in a day. So it might be good a idea to explore that option.
I used MMO addiction to escape from the problems in my life that I didn't want to face. It even became a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you don't like to go out and meet people, playing an online game will definitely make you worse at it. Having trouble meeting girls? Guess what, if all you have to talk about is World of Warcraft, you won't have very much success at that, either. There are definitely social activities to be had out there similar enough to online games that you will have a great time while meeting new people, and I believe that's important for an addict to realize. For me, it's board games and card games. Can't get enough of them. Go to a local comic shop and ask around about a D&D group, I guarantee that one meets there.
So, back to my story. Starting my third year in college, two successful summer internships under my belt and a 3.5 GPA, I was still doing fine while being an addict. The problem is, I believe every addict reaches a point where they just..stop caring. I stopped going to class, I stopped eating 3 meals a day, and I stopped sleeping as much as I used to. I played World of Warcraft almost non-stop. I think the only thing that kept me from committing suicide were the friends that I had made through a local gaming group. I failed every class I had that semester, lost my scholarship, and had to move back home, shamed that I had failed so completely at something that I thought I was good at. I worked a temp job for a while, but trying to find employment without a college degree is pretty hard. So, I enlisted in the Army. I spent about 14 months as a supply clerk, still playing WoW every day whenever I wasn't working. Even though it had ruined my life, I still couldn't quit. I managed to make no offline friends except for two in over a year. My girlfriend decided to break up with me and obviously I couldn't meet any other girls because I wanted to play the game so bad.
About 4 months in the Army, I got a letter from West Point. Apparently I scored in the 99th percentile on the ASVAB and they wanted me to apply to go to school there. For those that don't know, West Point is the Army's officer training school that also doubles as a four-year undergraduate college. I applied, and 6 months later I was accepted after jumping through a lot of hoops.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you're addicted to an online game it's because of a larger reason. As someone said in an earlier post, people turn to escapism because they're trying to escape from something. Until I dealt with the issues in my life that needed dealing with, I couldn't fully cut myself off from WoW. I had severe issues with depression for a long time that I didn't fully address because I used a game to ignore it. When my depression decided that I wasn't going to ignore it anymore, I burnt out. The important thing that my friends realized at that point is that I needed understanding, compassion, and most of all, not to be judged. If the addict feels they are being judged or critiqued for what they've done to themselves, they will shut you out of their life. I did it to 95% of everyone I knew, including my family when it happened. I had an attitude of 'fuck it, I'm not good at anything, so why try?' At this point, I didn't have anyone to mentor me back to a good state of mental health, it took me a good year and a half to recover.
If you're trying to help these kids, I say go for it. Whatever you do though, don't be judgmental about what they're doing to themselves. Probably the easiest way to get through to the video game addicts would be to invite them over for a game of Halo or Super Smash Brothers. Party games. Show them the social side of gaming outside of MMO addiction, and that might help get them out of the rut they're in.
Well, that's all I can think of about my experiences with it. I dunno if that helped, I was just rambling. Gotta go to class soon, PM me if you want to know anything else.
Most often it's low self-esteem. People live vicariously through characters who can exert power over others.
I was also thinking you could like, make a grind quest complete with rolling for epic loot and the whatnot out of "normal" daily/social activities. Trying to show them how some of the things they may be escaping to are essentially the same as the ones they're escaping from.
Going on what Spawnbroker was saying, maybe if some of them are having issues with "I'm not good at anything, why bother trying?" you could find/encourage them in something they are good at. If they're all MMO players, maybe assign them to either write a fan fiction/poem/song or draw/paint/sculpt a work about the game or their character. Essentially give them the option of what to do as a catchall: depending on what they choose to do give them additional personalized assignments, slowly weening them from (for example) just drawing WoW characters to drawing original characters.