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Coworker smells like ass.
Meiz
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey gang.
I'm writing this in order to hear ideas regarding a coworker of mine. You see, he smells horrible. I'm not talking, unwashed rank kinda horrid. More like something that crawled inside a camel's ass, stayed there for a week and fell out dead horrid.
Now I'm aware that there are biological reasons why someone might smell like demon dung but the thing about this guy is you can't detect a hint of cologne or deodorant. The other thing is, he likes to talk. Not like, hey how's it going. More like, you're having a conversation and he interjects.
Now I'm all for telling him to douse himself in javex because he's the living spawn of a shit golem but I'd rather be tactful at work.
Your thoughts?
I'm writing this in order to hear ideas regarding a coworker of mine. You see, he smells horrible. I'm not talking, unwashed rank kinda horrid. More like something that crawled inside a camel's ass, stayed there for a week and fell out dead horrid.
Now I'm aware that there are biological reasons why someone might smell like demon dung but the thing about this guy is you can't detect a hint of cologne or deodorant. The other thing is, he likes to talk. Not like, hey how's it going. More like, you're having a conversation and he interjects.
Now I'm all for telling him to douse himself in javex because he's the living spawn of a shit golem but I'd rather be tactful at work.
Your thoughts?
Meiz on
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Unless you work at a game publisher...because those guys won't bath for a week and no one says shit about it.
Weaboo List
Just bring a cologne/parfume and just spray him if he comes near you. You might want to make some kind of a gagging sound while you do this... you know just to twist the knife a little bit.
Seriously though, just tell him straight off. We guys can take getting told that we smell without getting all sensitive about it.. (I'm assuming you're a female here, because if a male tells me that I reek, I'm probably gonna make myself reek more just to further piss him off).
One time I cut his hair with electric clippers, and the electric clippers got very hot and burned the skin flakes. The room smelled like burnt, rotting flesh for about a week.
That probably doesn't help, I just wanted to share that story. It would probably do you a lot of good to directly confront this person and tell him flat out that he fucking stinks, instead of having him going around thinking he smells like roses while everyone around him are too prudish or whatever to actually say something to him that might hurt his feelings.
Pretty simple. Gets less so the longer you know the guy without manning up and telling him, though... so just do it.
I object in the highest possible manner to your previous statement, re: people who work at game publishers. I myself have worked at no less than three different game publishers, and I feel the need to point out that there were no smelly people there to speak of.
I would appreciate it if you you could refrain from making similar comments in the future.
Colonel S.M. Ellie-Rottingburgh (Mrs.)
P.S.: The fact that I have had both my nostrils nailed shut as a result of a botched field-medic surgical procedure should have no bearing on my previous statements.
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No excuses then.
edit: lol @ whup's response. pretty much even better than my suggestion. Some of these are gold... "Please consider trimming some ear hair." "There seems to be some back-hair poking out of your shirt collar."
The best method I find is to not make a big deal about it, don't go for the whole intervention method where you sit him down and have a heart to heart.
Anytime I have to broach the subject with someone it usually goes like this:
me(smiling): so skipped out on the deodorant this morning then?
co-worker: ha ha, yeah, whatever.....
me: ha ha, yeah but really
co-worker: Really? O_O;
me: nah, just a little bit, not that bad, I'm probably worse, ha ha
co-worker: ha, ha *takes a discreet sniff* ah, Ok, thanks
me: k, cya
co-worker thinks to himself: wow this guy is cooler than Jesus 8-)
Then we both go our separate ways, enriched and enlightened by the whole experience.
Ok, up until the Jesus part, that's usually how I do it because I'm quite blunt and a bit of an ass hole but it gets the message across and my co-workers pretty much know what I'm like at this stage.
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Especially since personal hygiene is normally in the employee handbook.
Sometimes they will use what you give them, but it only puts a sickly scent over the top of crotch-rot-stink. Then once it's run out... why would they buy more? They never have before.
Supervisor is probably the best route, the only direct approach that I think would otherwise be successful is some kind of intervention of that person's own social group, which I assume you don't belong to.
Generally yeah, and if you don't go to the supervisor and go the route of giving him deodarant, soap, etc. He could take it to be harrasment.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Not a good way to start a year, methinks.
Listen to Makershot.
True. Just say "You smell like my dead mother's asshole. You should clean yourself". If that is not clear enough, pour bleach on him.
This was the funniest thing I've read all day. Thank you so much for that, hahaha.
Weaboo List
But that was more advice for the guy you're complaining about. Don't be passive. Either confront him directly or go for a direct anonymous message via interoffice mail or that nicecritic site. If it doesn't change tell a supervisor and be done with it.
I dunno if its just me, but if someone left an anonymous note about me stinking, it'd make me paranoid for at least the rest of the day.
The only route in this situation is supervisor, in my opinion. Its his job to see to the runnings of your workplace. He gets paid to have awkward conversations.
for all you know he has a proven medical condition that makes him smell like a shallow grave, and talking to him about it violates his civil rights as a Stinky-American
Take me for example, I have horrible gas that, in my opinon, sadly makes me smell like ass... And I work in a retail environment, can be pretty entertaining, but no one's called me out on it yet... It's just unfortunatly I just have REALLY bad gas that doesn't go away without releasing, and letting time pass...
"Why don't you hold it?"
Yeah, I'm sorry, I used to hold it in, but it typically always hurt me in the long run, had the problem since high school, which is when it hurt me mostly for lack of embarrasing myself...
In other news, I would let the person know, assuming you feel comfortable enough letting them know... I had a co-worker who used to work for the same retail chain as me who'd come in and smell like ass too, worse than me in fact because it was constant, never had the nads to tell him...
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I had a friend back in high school with whom I tried to drop hints. So many hints. If she took her shoes off, you'd practically die. It got to a point where I would go over to the shoes and spray hers, and mine (to sort of be like "see, everyone needs hygiene!"), and she'd just kind of think it was something I did all the time -- never took the hint. (How would she know that I didn't do that to everyone's shoes all the time?)
Then. I was babysitting one night, and she showed up to hang out with me there. This family was a very blunt, close family. My friend came in, I introduced her to the kids and the parents (they hadn't left yet), and then ... she took her shoes off.
Immediately, the older child (6 years old), goes, "Ewwww, who smells so BAD!?" and the mother chimed in, "UGH! WOW! Someone really needs to wash their feet and shoes!"
My friend went beet red, and it wasn't a problem from then on after.
So yeah. Direct.
From that day forward, dude always had a pack of Big Red with him.
Fuck the passive aggressive shit. Sack up and tell him he's an odoriferous abomination (perhaps in nicer lingo). Up to you if you want to pay for his first stick of deodorant or bar of soap. If he's got a condition that makes him stink like shit, tell him you're sorry for that and that he should probably see a doctor. If you think that could be a problem, yeah, talk w/ your supervisor. He can check w/ HR to see if there might be a condition or something.
But most likely his ass doesn't shower in the morning. Oh, and he might want to consider Antiperspirant + Deodorant if he's just using antiperspirant because I've known people who used that to stop the sweat stains but still smelled stanky cause of the lack of deodorant.
just take the guy aside, talk to him like a person, say he kind of smells, he might have a damn good reason
dude, I've been meaning to say
?
you kind of smell
?
you smell bad sometimes, should I be worried?
no
okay then could you try and stop it?
sure
You're probably eating too much fiber.
An anonymous note would make me feel paranoid as well if I didn't ignore it altogether, pass it off as some kind of joke.
Has to be face to face, supervisor will work too but I still vote for the more direct approach of manning up and telling him yourself.
When I said "really?", which I would say, I would want the person to just say yes. I would ask what it smelled like and how strong or bad it was, because that might tell me what the problem was.
I doubt he's going to go cry or anything, but he really should be a little conscious of it.
Anonymous notes...might be okay, if they were polite. Anonymous deodorant "gifts" are an asshole thing to do and, paradoxically, will not work. If I'd been told, "Look, I'm really sorry to say this, but your hygiene could use some work," I'd have been hurt, but mostly embarrassed, and burned everything in my wardrobe to make sure it didn't happen again. As it was, I didn't feel comfortable there again after that.
Wrong.
If I tell you you stink, as far as you're concerned I may be the only one who's noticed. If I leave a message for you that says "Holy shit, we all think you reek, fucking bathe. Everyone you work with notices this shit." which do you really think is less embarassing?
Tell the guy to the face "Hey man, I thought I should tell you before someone else brings it up in a less kind way, or involves a supervisor, but you should really do something about your hygene. I can smell it pretty often, and I wanted to give you a chance to take care of it before someone makes an official issue over it."
This is a great idea. But oh wait lets just say the guy has a condition that can't be helped, that HR is aware of. Then after your confrontation he decides to go to HR due to prejudicial remarks from you. You just got written up for not following your own employment rules which would state in these situations go to a supervisor. Its what they get paid to deal with not you.
On the off chance it's a medical condition.
Whatever.
Take a stick of deodorant, put a bow on it, and stick it on his desk before he comes in.