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I rolled the dice... and I lost
Umaro
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Aaaah fuck. GOOODamn it. Here I am sitting in my dorm on the first day of college aaaaagh.
Okay, so for the past several weeks I've been chatting up this cute girl who's living in the floor above me in my dorm. She is totally wanting to bone me, and I was pretty excited to be heading to college with a lady already held in reserve.
However, I now see that I led her on far too strongly. She's pretty much expecting me to... what? Date her? And that wouldn't be a problem except I met her in person today and ooooh fuck HER PICTURES WERE MISLEADING AND LIES. She is fat. Like, not overweight, actually FAT. Diet story on the 10 o'clock news fat. Not actually obese, per se, but there are chinS, and they wiggle with ferocity. There are little hairs, hairs which glisten with malevolence as I edge slowly out of her line of sight.
Her voice is husky, like a woodsman's. It is hoarse and husky and it is despair.
Her personality? Constantly whining and immature and sort of obnoxious and I was willing to overlook that or figure she would be better in person but oooh man no it isn't and ooooh man there is no redeeming feature adflskjfsdf.
I don't know how I'm going to gracefully bow out of this without making myself feel like a douche (her feelings are moot, but I don't want to feel bad like that).
I'm on the verge of just claiming I'm gay, which has a grain of truth.
Oh man she's texting me to hang out I don't want to hang out I want to stay here dsjfskjfghksfgt4309t8042t80gfw HELP ME HELP.
Okay, so for the past several weeks I've been chatting up this cute girl who's living in the floor above me in my dorm. She is totally wanting to bone me, and I was pretty excited to be heading to college with a lady already held in reserve.
However, I now see that I led her on far too strongly. She's pretty much expecting me to... what? Date her? And that wouldn't be a problem except I met her in person today and ooooh fuck HER PICTURES WERE MISLEADING AND LIES. She is fat. Like, not overweight, actually FAT. Diet story on the 10 o'clock news fat. Not actually obese, per se, but there are chinS, and they wiggle with ferocity. There are little hairs, hairs which glisten with malevolence as I edge slowly out of her line of sight.
Her voice is husky, like a woodsman's. It is hoarse and husky and it is despair.
Her personality? Constantly whining and immature and sort of obnoxious and I was willing to overlook that or figure she would be better in person but oooh man no it isn't and ooooh man there is no redeeming feature adflskjfsdf.
I don't know how I'm going to gracefully bow out of this without making myself feel like a douche (her feelings are moot, but I don't want to feel bad like that).
I'm on the verge of just claiming I'm gay, which has a grain of truth.
Oh man she's texting me to hang out I don't want to hang out I want to stay here dsjfskjfghksfgt4309t8042t80gfw HELP ME HELP.
Umaro on
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The fact that you're only caring about her feelings in order to make yourself feel better already means you're a douche. :v:
No sympathy. Suck it up, tell the truth, and take what's coming to you.
Face Twit Rav Gram
And the next thread you make in H/A had better be a hell of a lot less obnoxious.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH