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Stressed to the point of feeling uncomfortable.
Walcott?
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hello. My problem lately seems to be that I over-analyze and think way too deeply about things, to the point that it makes my stomach turn to knots of the worst kind. I'm mostly worried because it really feels uncomfortable and my sister, at the ripe old age of 24, got an ulcer from stress. I don't want that to happen to me.
So, I'm wondering if anyone has any recommendations for calming myself down about things? All of the items I'm worrying about are common teen/college kid stuff: money, classes, career choice, way too many extracurricular responsibilities that I can't back out of (editor of a magazine, which worsens the anxiety about my career choice, seeing as I pass off anything I write as being horrid and unexciting), sexual orientation, etc. (The last one isn't confusion: I just need to get up the courage to be out with it already), so it's not like I've got really huge problems. Just a bunch of stuff that has come together at the same time and hit me like a ton of bricks.
So, I'm wondering if anyone has any recommendations for calming myself down about things? All of the items I'm worrying about are common teen/college kid stuff: money, classes, career choice, way too many extracurricular responsibilities that I can't back out of (editor of a magazine, which worsens the anxiety about my career choice, seeing as I pass off anything I write as being horrid and unexciting), sexual orientation, etc. (The last one isn't confusion: I just need to get up the courage to be out with it already), so it's not like I've got really huge problems. Just a bunch of stuff that has come together at the same time and hit me like a ton of bricks.
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I spent a good amount of time doing some drawing exercises earlier, cleared my head up. Then I cooked for my family, same thing. So yeah.
I don't know what to make of this. I love how you feel it's punishing them for me to tell them who I am, when it's not a decision I've made, simply the truth. And I, in fact, don't hate my parents, they don't deserve punishment of any sort. I don't really... know...
Fixed that for you.
i'm sure they love being called homos, by the way.
because you speak for all gay people. sounds pretty offensive to me.
'I am a gay man' is one important foundation in your world that doesn't require any deep thought. Find more.
What i do, is find something that generally makes me feel relaxed aka lets me blow off steam. In my case its accelerating as fast as i can, and to a certain extent speeding (i recommend something safer)
However the best thing i think you can do is talk to someone you trust, be that your parents or a close friend... ohh and dont listen to the cheat... hes and ass
aside from calling him an ass, which i suppose wasn't entirely necessary... since when is defending my opinion considered trolling?
However, while most of this can help to clear your head a bit, the thing that's ultimately going to allow a change is to simply realize that you don't have that much control over most of the things you mentioned. You have some control and can focus on the specific areas that you do. Most of the circumstances you can't do much about. At the same time, really, REALLY think about what you are worrying about. I would bet money that if you really come down to it, you'll find that you are worry about things that might happen, not necessarily that will happen. You're filling in the blanks with the worst, but you need to remember that most of the time, the worst doesn't actually happen. You need to remind yourself what that they are blanks, variables, not disasters. At the same time, if when things do fall apart, rarely are they irreparable. If it doesn't kill you, you are still around to change things, take another course of action, and live on.
This is based on some personal experience, and as I've examined it and heard things, I believe that this is probably the root of most people's anxieties and stresses. I'm not a psychologist/psychiatrist, but from experience it seems the biggest thing of overcoming these kinds of things is ultimately learning to let go. Easier said than done, but you just have to keep repeating it to yourself like a mantra for days, weeks, months, maybe years, until you believe it.
Edit: I'll also suggest reading The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron. Yes, it's steeped a bit in Buddhist religious philosophy (I'm not religious in the slightest myself), but some of the philosophy discussed in there struck a chord with me when I've gone through more anxious and stressful times.
I actually went to bed earlier last night and woke up early today. I figure I'll be starting class in 2 weeks (quarters have dumb schedules!) so I might as well get in a routine. Having to live in apartment is probably another point of stress, but my roommate already knows I'm gay, as I figured back then that he should know before we signed a lease, etc. It's very hard to not address that whole issue, but, to avoid problems, moving on..
Tea? Sounds obvious and helpful. Any recommendations as to a certain type?
@wasted pixels: everything there sounds good. I've actually had my editor-in-chief call me an idiot for being so critical of myself, but I think sometimes people (myself included, obviously) find some sort of escape or excuse in being very down on themselves. Something I just realized, actually: if I think I'm not up to doing something as a career, it makes being unsuccessful in that path (which, so far, I'm not) much less disappointing.
Thanks to all the posts, though. Mmm. 8 a.m makes for many typos.
And if others think that what you're doing is good, then it probably is. I used to get worked up about my work and feel that I was doing poorly. Time fixed that up for the most part, as did listening to those around me and realizing that a compliment is just that, a compliment.
well i didn't mean it that way. i'm sorry if i was out of line, there. camomile is a good tea. it is helpful for falling asleep too.
I don't know if there's any specific type that I find more relaxing or useful, I think it's more the process, it's very "zen". You heat the water, you measure out tea into the infuser, you patiently wait for the tea to brew, and then you sit somewhere and enjoy the tea.
I think what I like about it is that it's a process you can justify as productive that gives you ten minutes of tranquility. Grabbing a can of pop out of the fridge? That can wait, or you can drink it while you work on something else. But tea time? Man, you have to MAKE something, you can't be distracted while you're making tea. Paper due tomorrow? Can't worry about it now, I'm busy making tea. It'll still be there after tea.
I'd suggest getting a decent set of cups and a teapot instead of just using a mug in a microwave. It doesn't need to be anything super-expensive, but having a nice tea set adds a certain gravitas to the whole experience to make it more enjoyable and relaxing.