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Pregnancy scare
Dance Commander
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My girlfriend is normally very regular. Cramps a week before her period, periods like clockwork. Last month she was under a lot of stress and it came a week late. This month, it's three days late and she hasn't even had cramps yet.
We use the rhythm method in addition to condoms, which I'm quite sure we use correctly. There was one point just before her period this cycle was supposed to start when I put a condom on backwards then reversed it, but I'm pretty darn sure there was no pre-come on it, and that was like... a week ago, anyway. We weren't even together for the three weeks after her last period.
So now she's all freaked out about being pregnant, and she was puking like crazy last night for no clear reason, and she's got me kind of rattled too. I know she's not, but it would help me a lot to just hear it from some other people.
We use the rhythm method in addition to condoms, which I'm quite sure we use correctly. There was one point just before her period this cycle was supposed to start when I put a condom on backwards then reversed it, but I'm pretty darn sure there was no pre-come on it, and that was like... a week ago, anyway. We weren't even together for the three weeks after her last period.
So now she's all freaked out about being pregnant, and she was puking like crazy last night for no clear reason, and she's got me kind of rattled too. I know she's not, but it would help me a lot to just hear it from some other people.
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I'm no expert on the lady parts, but if you're really worried, get a pregnancy test. They're extremely reliable, and this includes the ones they sell at the Dollar Tree. That's probably your best bet.
Always have a backup method of birth control. There are quite a few out there and the least reliable is the rhythm method.
Do some research, sit down to talk to her and you should decide together what the best course of action is.
Anyways, get a store bought test, they are cheap and effective, and good luck with that- you have every reason to worry, because you've been playing russian roulette with the one-eyed tiger. Could be this is the time it takes a chunk out of you.
You guys use condoms with spermacide, right? Because you need to be doing that.
And you're worried now? Even though there's no reason to believe she's pregnant? For the sake of both of your sanities, get her on the pill.
I would like you to present this case better if it is not too much trouble. My girlfriend has older sisters, each of which who went on the pill gained weight. One of her older sisters and her mother both got cancer at young ages. When she brings these objections up along with the I don't want to mess with my body/hormones argument I give in.
Is there a reliable method besides condoms (the idea is to use 2 methods one being condoms) to prevent pregnancy that won't increase the risk of getting fat/cancer/moody etc?
So what do you do then?
Condoms are pretty damn effective when used correctly. She can also get the sponge and after every sexy time, go to the bathroom and clean up. If you aren't against the abortion scenario, then the day after pill works pretty good too. Again...use condoms and make sure you are using them correctly and get some with the spermicidal lubricant. If you fuck up putting it on...get another. Don't take any chances.
Some girls get on the depo shot. It can pretty much kill her chances for a baby (or make them very very slim, like the pill does) for 3 months. It's a shot..and it usually takes 3 months for it to really be effective (ie...wait till the second dose before you go bareback). There's also that thing that clips in to the uterus...but that can carry a lot of side effects as well.
If she is not sure what to do...ASK YOUR DOCTOR!
My wife refused to use the pill. She doesn't like shots and didn't want to get the T clip thing in her uterus as there are even more issues that can happen there with some women. We used rubbers. In 7 years, we have had 2 kids (aged 7 and 3 now). We had those kids because we sometimes couldn't wait or we were stupid and didn't use rubbers
What I am trying to say...is that YOU should respect HER decision and be FULLY understanding of her decision to NOT go on the pill. It's not simply her responsibility to ensure there is no pregnancy...it is both of yours. And if you aren't comfortable with just the condom alone, there are some other methods available to you. Maybe you should skip the sexy time for a while until you or her alone feel more comfortable about it.
If she doesn't want to mess with her hormones than she needs to see her gyno and talk about cervical caps, diaphragms and sponges asap. Honestly, I would never trust condoms alone and with one scare under your belt it's becoming obvious she's not as regular as you thought making FAMs a lot less reliable until she's fully regular again.
fine...
...not an abortion! *runs away*
Well you're right, there is an abortion pill but it's entirely different. Most people don't quite realize that though.
She does need to speak to a gynecologist and get on some other form of birth control if she's going to freak out like this. There are umpty-billion kinds of female birth control, several of which are non-hormonal (like a copper IUD or a properly-fitted diaphragm). Go with her to Planned Parenthood and talk to a doctor.
If she absolutely doesn't want to take steps to make extra-sure she's not pregnant and if she's still freaking out after you use condoms, she probably shouldn't be having sex at all.
At any rate, since this is becoming a big issue you really need to explore some sort of option besides condoms. Yes, men should take responsibility too, but they aren't quite as reliable as most of the female birth control methods.
Incidentally, my GF was very, VERY nauseous for a couple days this month... turns out it was premenstrual hormones combined with stress. She got her period the next day.
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You don't get to throw out disinformation on the grounds that "it's debatable." It isn't. The morning after pill is not an abortion pill, full stop.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Let me say I'm not on EITHER side of the issue.
Some people - including my doctor - feel that life occurs at the fertilization of an egg. If that egg is then prevented from implanting then that is an abortion. That is why my doctor will not place a copper T IUD, as that also prevents implantation. That's where the "debate" comes into it.
I'm not debating either side of that, it's just the way the information was explained to me when I was asking about getting an IUD.
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We have used spermicides and sponges and what not. Sponges apparently won't be the greatest solution (for my gf) because your suppose to leave it in place for 6 hours after sexy time finishes, no clean up right after, in case anyone was planning on that.
I'll encourage her to look into things.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
i think it is mainly the religious right that was all up in arms over this. making up stupid excuses to get people not to enjoy sex. as if decent birth control just makes people have copious amounts of premarital sex.
I've been on Depo for a year now. I actually lost weight and continue to because when I found out it could cause weight gain I began exercising more and watching my diet. Anything hormonal can make you gain weight the key is to do something about it instead of going 'oh crap depo made me fat'.
Personally I swear by depo, not only is it more effective than the pill but I only need to remember to get my shot every three months to use it correctly as opposed to making sure I take my pill at the exact same time everyday. Very few women actually do that which is why the pill's typical effective rate is much lower than it's perfect use effective rate.
The only thing you should be doing is finding a doctor who doesn't let his personal and likely religious views affect your medical care.
Meh, I stand by it. Like I said, I've been able to steadily lose weight while on it, about 30 pounds so far, as opposed to gaining oodles of it. According to most medical studies there is no significant difference between the amount of weight gained on Depo vs the pill. Also, the typical weight gain in these studies is between 3 and 5 pounds only. Considering the pill has a higher failure rate I'd take 5 pounds over a baby. You gain a lot more weight preggers.
If one form doesn't work for you (side effects or whatever), talk with your doctor and try a different method.
Also, planned parenthood is a great resource.
Depo is the worst for side effects because the hormones given are overkill, it's the same chemicals as the pill, only more so- impossible to forget though.
The t device doesn't use any hormones, but there can still be side effects- most young people cant get them, because of fears regarding damaging the uterus. It's unlikely, but it can happen. After a kid or two though, doctors stop caring. It's also instantly (ala doctors visit) reversible.
With cancer concerns, hormonal control needs to be discussed with a doctor. Some body mentioned diaphragms, which are decent, though not as effective as the pill. when used with a decent spermicide, like a foam, for example, success rates go way up.
There are pros and cons to all of them.
I liked the crack about weight gain; yup, 5-10 pounds may seem like a bastard, but it sure beats 7 pounds 9 ounces of actual bastard.
I love that line.
but ya, I use a condom with spermicidal lubricant, and my girlfriend is on the pill the chances of getting pregnant are so small I can't even calculate it.
Getting pregnant is actually really fucking hard. Some people just have luck when it comes to it. The situation determines whether it's good luck or bad luck .
Also, yes, she's been opposed to the pill because she doesn't believe in western medicine. I'm using this opportunity to get us down to planned parenthood, though, something I've been advocating for months.
Throw some spermicidal lubricant in there and you'll be aiight.
How can she not believe in western medicine? Like at all? It seems this girl needs a little reality check as well as birth control.
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
I don't know. I don't understand it, really, but I just kind of let it be until now. We're gonna talk about it now, though.
She doesn't affect it in any way. She won't place it but if I wanted it she'd have someone else in her practice implant it. She told me about it in the same way as the rest of my options, she just won't put it in herself. She prefers to use the hormonal IUD, Merena? or some such spelling. Durn drugs and their funny names.
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