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Chuck Norris-Kick Castro's and Kim Jong Il's asses on cellphones

CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
edited August 2008 in Games and Technology
http://kotaku.com/5042467/the-chief-export-of-chuck-norris-is-pain-in-new-video
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According to Gameloft, the game has Norris taking on a rogue Soviet army in an attempt to save POWs from Cambodia. Next he has to save America from invasion. That's right, it makes no sense, but that's how Norris rolls. Gameloft calls the game a "hilarious dive into the life of the legend - martial arts action, denimclad justice, and going commando!" And by hilarious I'm sure Gameloft means kick-ass... unless they want Norris to snap their company over his knee.

Bring on the Pain is said to play like an old-school beat-em-up and allows you to use traditional weapons or Norris' flesh-coated weapons. You can also take pics of your friends and turn them into enemies in the games.
Best game ever.

Couscous on

Posts

  • AlpineAlpine Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    You can also take pics of your friends and turn them into enemies in the games.

    Sick. Who's Chuck Norris?

    [tiny]jk[/tiny]

    Alpine on
  • FireflashFireflash Montreal, QCRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    They- They actually turned an internet fad into a game.

    Fireflash on
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  • Recoil42Recoil42 Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Let me be the first one to say fuck Chuck Norris. Goddamn Christian fundie who abuses his internet fad powers for evil.

    Vin Diesel made for a better fad, anyways.

    Recoil42 on
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    We have come full circle.

    august on
  • GilderGilder Aw snap Macaroni PartyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I really wonder if this Chuck Norris thing is ever going to end. It all got started because of that Walker Texas Ranger lever on Conan didn't it? He hasn't used that thing in like 2 years. People need to learn to give this thing a rest already.

    That aside, it does look kind of okay for a cell phone game. I've never really played any though.

    Gilder on
  • randombattlerandombattle Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Why is this a cell phone game and not a ds game or something?

    randombattle on
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    I never asked for this!
  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    got a video here: http://kotaku.com/5042467/the-chief-export-of-chuck-norris-is-pain-in-new-video

    you know it's actually not bad for a cheesy beat-em-up game. I think if they do a some more work on it could be fairly good as an x-box arcade game.

    DanHibiki on
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Why is this a cell phone game and not a ds game or something?

    Real Americans don't own DSes.

    august on
  • randombattlerandombattle Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    got a video here: http://kotaku.com/5042467/the-chief-export-of-chuck-norris-is-pain-in-new-video

    you know it's actually not bad for a cheesy beat-em-up game. I think if they do a some more work on it could be fairly good as an x-box arcade game.
    Dude this looks totally awesome!

    Double Dragon + Metal Slug = Awesome


    I think people are looking into the Chuck Norris aspect of this too much. If this was just called EXPLOSION FIST starring John Everyman on the DS everyone would be going nuts about this.

    randombattle on
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    I never asked for this!
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    got a video here: http://kotaku.com/5042467/the-chief-export-of-chuck-norris-is-pain-in-new-video

    you know it's actually not bad for a cheesy beat-em-up game. I think if they do a some more work on it could be fairly good as an x-box arcade game.
    Dude this looks totally awesome!

    Double Dragon + Metal Slug = Awesome


    I think people are looking into the Chuck Norris aspect of this too much. If this was just called EXPLOSION FIST starring John Everyman on the DS everyone would be going nuts about this.

    If by "going nuts" you mean "not noticing or caring," then you are correct.

    august on
  • Fig-DFig-D Tustin, CA, USRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    God it steals from every side scrolling beat 'em up and fighting game I've ever loved.

    And I want it.

    Fig-D on
    SteamID - Fig-D :: PSN - Fig-D
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I will admit that hitting picking up a jeep and smacking people with it is pretty awesome.

    august on
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    How does one even get a cellphone game?

    Malkor on
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  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Fuck GameLoft up their unoriginal asses.

    B:L on
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  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Malkor wrote: »
    How does one even get a cellphone game?

    Through cellphone game stores.

    yalborap on
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I like how the art screams, 'This is the fucking 80s.'

    Malkor on
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  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Malkor wrote: »
    How does one even get a cellphone game?

    Steam.

    Actual steam.

    august on
  • MJMJ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The game fails because he has a health bar. He's Chuck Norris for God's Sake! :P
    That putting your friend's faces on the enemies features sounds like a hilarious addition.

    MJ on
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  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Chuck Norris (or a lookalike with similar jokes) is also a boss of Zendoku for the DS - he's actually pretty tough to beat.

    Lindsay Lohan on
  • darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Recoil42 wrote: »
    Let me be the first one to say fuck Chuck Norris. Goddamn Christian fundie who abuses his internet fad powers for evil.

    Vin Diesel made for a better fad, anyways.

    I'm with this movement. The Vin Diesel one was the best.

    darleysam on
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  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    MJ wrote: »
    The game fails because he has a health bar. He's Chuck Norris for God's Sake! :P
    That putting your friend's faces on the enemies features sounds like a hilarious addition.

    it's not his health bar, it's the planet's health bar. When it runs out Chuck Norris destroys the earth and everything on it. The lives are the total number of parallel dimension earths that Chuck Norris goes to and destroys. The goal of the game is to keep Chuck Norris entertained so that he does not get bored and destroy all the earths in the multiverse.

    DanHibiki on
  • DemosthornDemosthorn Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.

    Demosthorn on
  • GilderGilder Aw snap Macaroni PartyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I didn't hear anything about Chuck Norris until the Walker Texas Ranger lever. I would've thought that that would've been the main culprit, not a website that half the country doesn't even know exists.

    Gilder on
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    This actually does look pretty cool, and as long as it's got a few solid hours of gameplay, I'd pay $15-$20 for a DS port with extra content and some type of multi-player.

    Maybe P2 could be Mr. T or something.

    Edit: Even though T would never let himself be used as second banana.

    HadjiQuest on
  • randombattlerandombattle Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    HadjiQuest wrote: »
    This actually does look pretty cool, and as long as it's got a few solid hours of gameplay, I'd pay $15-$20 for a DS port with extra content and some type of multi-player.

    Maybe P2 could be Mr. T or something.

    Edit: Even though T would never let himself be used as second banana.
    There would be no P2 it would be P1 and P1 just with different colors.

    randombattle on
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    I never asked for this!
  • MJMJ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Demosthorn wrote: »
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.


    Vin Diesel will never get a cell phone game like this to me. Especially after my first movie of his I've seen is The Pacifier.
    pacifier.jpg
    It's first impressions, you know, like seeing Jason Bateman in every movie that gets released now and saying, Michael Bluth!
    Now Chuck Norris, my Boss watches him every morning on Texas Ranger, and that's my first real time watching him in action. IMO He was looong overdue for a game. Especially after seeing the one my boss watched a few weeks ago where
    Walker(Norris) takes a bullet in the chest by a corrupt police cheif in a cemetery shoot out who escapes back to his precinct. Walker, not even fazed by the metal in his flesh, gets in his pickup and rolls down to the precinct. The chief, knowing that Walker is coming for justice, kills himself, probably because he would rather have a bullet in his head than Walker's boot imprint sending him to hell.

    MJ on
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  • juice for jesusjuice for jesus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Demosthorn wrote: »
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.

    Long before that, there was a Saturday Night Live skit with a similar premise of amazing facts about someone named "Bill Brasky." No doubt it's roots lie even further back in pop culture.

    juice for jesus on
  • randombattlerandombattle Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Demosthorn wrote: »
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.

    Long before that, there was a Saturday Night Live skit with a similar premise of amazing facts about someone named "Bill Brasky." No doubt it's roots lie even further back in pop culture.
    I'm pretty sure there has always been a man like Chuck Norris through out history. Some legendary man of legend with no equal.

    randombattle on
    itsstupidbutidontcare2.gif
    I never asked for this!
  • juice for jesusjuice for jesus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Demosthorn wrote: »
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.

    Long before that, there was a Saturday Night Live skit with a similar premise of amazing facts about someone named "Bill Brasky." No doubt it's roots lie even further back in pop culture.
    I'm pretty sure there has always been a man like Chuck Norris through out history. Some legendary man of legend with no equal.

    Suddenly the Bible makes sense to me.

    juice for jesus on
  • randombattlerandombattle Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Demosthorn wrote: »
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.

    Long before that, there was a Saturday Night Live skit with a similar premise of amazing facts about someone named "Bill Brasky." No doubt it's roots lie even further back in pop culture.
    I'm pretty sure there has always been a man like Chuck Norris through out history. Some legendary man of legend with no equal.

    Suddenly the Bible makes sense to me.
    Samson was really just a biblical Chuck Norris.

    http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html

    randombattle on
    itsstupidbutidontcare2.gif
    I never asked for this!
  • GraviijaGraviija Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Is it bad that those Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel/Mr. T facts still crack me the hell up?

    You know why this game isn't on a console? Because Chuck Norris refuses to be displayed in less that 1081p.

    Graviija on
  • Fig-DFig-D Tustin, CA, USRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Graviija wrote: »
    Is it bad that those Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel/Mr. T facts still crack me the hell up?

    It just means we're both sick.

    Fig-D on
    SteamID - Fig-D :: PSN - Fig-D
  • Zealous OneZealous One Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Setting aside how old those jokes are, the game itself actually looks pretty fun. Pretty much a beat-em-up/shoot-em-up action game that just happens to place Norris in the role. Though I have to wonder: why cell-phones?

    Zealous One on
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  • Fig-DFig-D Tustin, CA, USRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Setting aside how old those jokes are, the game itself actually looks pretty fun. Pretty much a beat-em-up/shoot-em-up action game that just happens to place Norris in the role. Though I have to wonder: why cell-phones?

    Everyone has one.

    Fig-D on
    SteamID - Fig-D :: PSN - Fig-D
  • ilmmadilmmad Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    No one is noticing that it tout's flaming fists and picking up cars as real-life Chuck Norris powers.

    THAT is awesome.

    ilmmad on
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  • gunwarriorgunwarrior Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    uhhhh... what?

    gunwarrior on
  • Waka LakaWaka Laka Riding the stuffed Unicorn If ya know what I mean.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    MJ wrote: »
    Demosthorn wrote: »
    The fad started as a VIn Diesel movement. Something Awful had a thread about "Amazing Vin Diesel facts" and someone hijacked it and made it Chuck Norris. It's a shame.


    Vin Diesel will never get a cell phone game like this to me. Especially after my first movie of his I've seen is The Pacifier.
    pacifier.jpg

    Escape From Butcher Bay wants a few hours of your time.

    Waka Laka on
  • SaddlerSaddler Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Have the Rolling Stones killed.

    Saddler on
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Find this Carson Daly person and destroy him.

    august on
  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I, personally, can't wait for the new lolcats Wiiware game...I dunno about you guys.

    Rent on
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