Terrible Sex

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  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    chubby girls are better

    i hate to drag out cliches, but more cushion for the cushion

    also smoke weed every day 420

    I have to admit sometimes it hurts while going doggy style
    just
    pelvis bone man
    it hurts my hips


    but is it worth it to not be with a fat girl? god yes.
    well there is a distinction to be made between chubby and fat

    a little meat on her bones isn't a bad thing

    to Meiss: fuck you

    Do her thighs touch?
    nah

    i only weigh five more pounds then her but i'm a fucking twig, she has a very nice curvy figure

    ass like WHOA

    Clint Eastwood on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    chubby girls are better

    i hate to drag out cliches, but more cushion for the cushion

    also smoke weed every day 420

    I have to admit sometimes it hurts while going doggy style
    just
    pelvis bone man
    it hurts my hips


    but is it worth it to not be with a fat girl? god yes.

    you need to make that woman a hamburger

    man no she is fantastic

    Are you saying you have a problem with hamburgers?

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • nateknatek unh unh Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    bucketman, did you buy it dinner yet?

    seriously, check back with me when you do.

    I will definitely get you laid if you follow my five step plan

    natek on
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    chubby girls are better

    i hate to drag out cliches, but more cushion for the cushion

    also smoke weed every day 420

    I have to admit sometimes it hurts while going doggy style
    just
    pelvis bone man
    it hurts my hips


    but is it worth it to not be with a fat girl? god yes.

    you need to make that woman a hamburger

    doggy style....pelvic bone? what?

    how thin is this person that their....bones hurt through the ass? is there something I'm not getting here?

    Have you seriously never seen someone sit on someone else's lap and they say "damn you have a bony ass"
    Some asses are not properly padded.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    chubby girls are better

    i hate to drag out cliches, but more cushion for the cushion

    also smoke weed every day 420

    I have to admit sometimes it hurts while going doggy style
    just
    pelvis bone man
    it hurts my hips


    but is it worth it to not be with a fat girl? god yes.

    you need to make that woman a hamburger

    doggy style....pelvic bone? what?

    how thin is this person that their....bones hurt through the ass? is there something I'm not getting here?

    He's saying that minimal fatty tissue causes him to feel her pelvic bone when attempting doggy style.

    I think.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    chubby girls are better

    i hate to drag out cliches, but more cushion for the cushion

    also smoke weed every day 420

    I have to admit sometimes it hurts while going doggy style
    just
    pelvis bone man
    it hurts my hips


    but is it worth it to not be with a fat girl? god yes.

    you need to make that woman a hamburger

    man no she is fantastic

    Are you saying you have a problem with hamburgers?

    actually she said she wants to have one when she visits!

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    chubby girls are better

    i hate to drag out cliches, but more cushion for the cushion

    also smoke weed every day 420

    I have to admit sometimes it hurts while going doggy style
    just
    pelvis bone man
    it hurts my hips


    but is it worth it to not be with a fat girl? god yes.

    you need to make that woman a hamburger

    man no she is fantastic

    Are you saying you have a problem with hamburgers?

    actually she said she wants to have one when she visits!

    Bring her over here, then.

    I make the shit out of some hamburgers, son. Yeah, that's right.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    natek wrote: »
    bucketman, did you buy it dinner yet?

    seriously, check back with me when you do.

    I will definitely get you laid if you follow my five step plan

    buy it dinner

    then do the other four things

    geckonidae on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    i have the boniest of asses

    i can imagine that if a dude was rocking my can he would be like "damn this is a bony ass"

    Clint Eastwood on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    A bonier ass than me?

    I doubt it, sir.

    DarkPrimus on
  • geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    my boyfriend is pretty bony


    elbow to the forehead all up ins

    geckonidae on
  • BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Sex with my girlfriend is pretty terrible. Since we've been together shes gained a lot of weight. Like its pretty much all we can do is the missionary position. Due to what I assume is my small wang and he huge everything else.

    Though to be honest shes the only person I've ever had sex with. And I don't make a habbit of looking at other dudes wangs so I don't have much to measure any of this by.

    Bucketman on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    i would post pics to prove it but i think that is against standards and practices

    Clint Eastwood on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    An ass more cast-iron than me?

    I doubt it, sir.

    Yours is a lost art.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Bucketman wrote: »
    Sex with my girlfriend is pretty terrible. Since we've been together shes gained a lot of weight. Like its pretty much all we can do is the missionary position. Due to what I assume is my small wang and he huge everything else.

    Though to be honest shes the only person I've ever had sex with. And I don't make a habbit of looking at other dudes wangs so I don't have much to measure any of this by.

    Just break up with it. Geez.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    On the topic of queefs. They aren't ever really that awkward unless somone brings attention to them. My ex-girlfriend brought attention to them one time while we were going at it. And i started laughing, then said 'no no, it's okay, don't worry about it'

    I then experimented with depth and angle to get desired pitch and lengths.

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    On the topic of queefs. They aren't ever really that awkward unless somone brings attention to them. My ex-girlfriend brought attention to them one time while we were going at it. And i started laughing, then said 'no no, it's okay, don't worry about it'

    I then experimented with depth and angle to get desired pitch and lengths.
    My girlfriend gets all embarassed when she does it. As long as she doesn't rip one in my face when I'm going down on her, why the fuck would I care? It's not like it's gonna corrode my dick, sheesh

    Clint Eastwood on
  • Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    the only sex I cannot abide is drunk sex. I am not very sensitive to begin with, so there is no way in hell I am getting off when I'm even a little sloshed. Plus it hurts like hell in the morning.

    Cosmic Sombrero on
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    cosmic what were you aiming me aboot earlier

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    drunken sex is the worst

    sex while stoned, though? hoo boy

    Clint Eastwood on
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Bucketman wrote: »
    Sex with my girlfriend is pretty terrible. Since we've been together shes gained a lot of weight. Like its pretty much all we can do is the missionary position. Due to what I assume is my small wang and he huge everything else.

    Though to be honest shes the only person I've ever had sex with. And I don't make a habbit of looking at other dudes wangs so I don't have much to measure any of this by.

    Just break up with it. Geez.

    break up with... his penis?

    satansfingers on
  • BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    whats the actual length/girth for an average dude?

    Bucketman on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Which is more than enough as long as she's not a vapid whore, or so fat you start fucking her rolls by mistake.

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    drunken sex is the worst

    sex while stoned, though? hoo boy

    the one time i did the latter i forgot to put the condom on.

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    cosmic what were you aiming me aboot earlier

    nothing you goddamn sloop

    Cosmic Sombrero on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    yeah that seems to be the consensus

    the most recent number i heard was 5.25
    Cloudman wrote: »
    drunken sex is the worst

    sex while stoned, though? hoo boy

    the one time i did the latter i forgot to put the condom on.
    this is why the pill is a glorious creation

    Clint Eastwood on
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    cosmic what were you aiming me aboot earlier

    nothing you goddamn sloop
    i hate you ;_;

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    yeah that seems to be the consensus

    the most recent number i heard was 5.25
    Cloudman wrote: »
    drunken sex is the worst

    sex while stoned, though? hoo boy

    the one time i did the latter i forgot to put the condom on.
    this is why the pill is a glorious creation

    yeah, except aids

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    she didn't notice and i didn't say anything and nine months later i was thankful when nothing happened.

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    yeah that seems to be the consensus

    the most recent number i heard was 5.25

    I think the researchers just keep lowering the standard to make themselves feel better.

    Cosmic Sombrero on
  • Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    she didn't notice and i didn't say anything and nine months later i was thankful when nothing happened.

    I knew a couple who used marijuana as a form of birth control.

    Because, see, they believed marijuana lowered your sperm count, making it okay to have unprotected sex.

    Yeah.

    Cosmic Sombrero on
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    yeah, I feel like a few years ago it was 6 inches

    and it seems low anyway, unless there are a bunch of dudes running around out there with 3 inch cocks

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    hold your head high soldier, it ain't over yet
    that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    yeah that seems to be the consensus

    the most recent number i heard was 5.25

    I think the researchers just keep lowering the standard to make themselves feel better.

    Thank god for science!

    Zonugal on
    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    she didn't notice and i didn't say anything and nine months later i was thankful when nothing happened.

    I knew a couple who used marijuana as a form of birth control.

    Because, see, they believed marijuana lowered your sperm count, making it okay to have unprotected sex.

    Yeah.

    Are these those same people who thought smoking marijuana was not detrimental to a baby's health?

    DarkPrimus on
  • Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    nothing you goddamn sloop
    i hate you ;_;

    you keep talking but all I hear is "CHING CHONG WING WONG."

    Cosmic Sombrero on
  • Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    she didn't notice and i didn't say anything and nine months later i was thankful when nothing happened.

    I knew a couple who used marijuana as a form of birth control.

    Because, see, they believed marijuana lowered your sperm count, making it okay to have unprotected sex.

    Yeah.

    Are these those same people who thought smoking marijuana was not detrimental to a baby's health?

    I don't know those people, Primus.

    I don't know them at all.

    Cosmic Sombrero on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    she didn't notice and i didn't say anything and nine months later i was thankful when nothing happened.

    I knew a couple who used marijuana as a form of birth control.

    Because, see, they believed marijuana lowered your sperm count, making it okay to have unprotected sex.

    Yeah.

    ahahahaha

    back in high school there were people that said that, and they also said that mountain dew lowers your sperm count

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Not sure about girth, but the average length for a white male is from 5-7 inches (erect.)

    I thought it was 5.45 inches, lengthwise.
    yeah that seems to be the consensus

    the most recent number i heard was 5.25
    Cloudman wrote: »
    drunken sex is the worst

    sex while stoned, though? hoo boy

    the one time i did the latter i forgot to put the condom on.
    this is why the pill is a glorious creation

    yeah, except aids
    if you get aids from unprotected sex it's your own damn fault and you deserve to die for being so god damn stupid

    Clint Eastwood on
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    she didn't notice and i didn't say anything and nine months later i was thankful when nothing happened.

    I knew a couple who used marijuana as a form of birth control.

    Because, see, they believed marijuana lowered your sperm count, making it okay to have unprotected sex.

    Yeah.

    ahahahaha

    back in high school there were people that said that, and they also said that mountain dew lowers your sperm count

    yeah and everyone was afraid of this for some reason, too

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    hold your head high soldier, it ain't over yet
    that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
This discussion has been closed.