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My boss just found out about my criminal record (and other tales of employment)
Posts
thats got me hot and bothered, like some sort of transformers fan fic
I do the same, though I can't say I can empathize with the comparison.
Hey obviously didn't see you throwing down the restaurant management skillz at PAX
because if you own a restaurant I am so far behind in my life that it makes me want to jump off a bridge
I own this belt and some CD's
oh snap
I quit Toys R Us after like 2 weeks. Luckily, it was because I found a better job.
So, I'm currently out of work and searching for my 9th job of my career. I got a call from a guy from Oppenheimer who saw my resume on monster and wants to turn me into a stockbroker. I'm nervous as fuck to be in a real world job. So nervous I haven't even called back yet.
Oh yeah, that fucker died earlier this year. He was in our special management inmate block, one of only six total inmates there. He never went to yard, hardly showered, just laid on his cement bed and watched tv.
The fat fucker would get letters from all over the country. Not official fan letters, but ones from the heads of small churches around the country, or actual professional cooks. I shit you not. They would send him a recipe in the mail for, say, "veal" or "venison". Real tender, young meat, you know? He'd send the recipe back to them with cutout pictures from kid magazines glued on, and his signature on the bottom. He'd even highlight and underline every mention of meat in the recipe, as a kind of final nudge and wink.
About a year ago his diabetes and lack of movement got the better of him, and the circulation in his legs went to shit. Around the same time, a vicious wave of MRSA (wiki it) came through the prison. He managed to infect his foot during one of his infrequent showers, and the leg had to be amputated. He got quite a few jokes alluding to him always having "one foot on the outside".
He really should have died slower, and lived longer, tho. I wanted him to die forgotten and about eighty pounds lighter, cold and hungry.
Still a believer eh, Davy Jones?
Oh, so you're only disenchanted? I kind of thought being a prison guard was much worse than that.
Oddly enough that just happened in our server room. Someone unplugged one full tower of servers (8 separate servers total) to plug in a drill or some such thing.
This was despite full assurances that they would touch nothing while in there.
I wouldn't say disenchanted although I suppose that's an accurate enough description. I would just say that my time here has slowly but effectively murdered any sense of idealism I might have possessed and quashed what little hope I ever had that the government is anything but a cause of problems, as opposed to a potential source of their solutions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HdSKunQYf0&feature=related
Three AM in a maximum security unit really brings about the worst kinds of Silent Hill type memories.
That happened to me when I was 5
R.I.P.
that's what daddies cock'll do to ya
I did that, but some babies have teeth and the ice cream kept melting through the hole I cut in the bottom of the cone. Also, babies don't really understand the concept of a 'surprise inside'.
damn open fly boxers
R.I.P.
babies today
I am truly blessed to be paid to let all of my aggression out on children.
Well I work on the budget, so I feel like we've accomplished something just getting a budget done, with all the bickering over what should be in it.
I imagine if I had to work on legislation that often takes as long as 6 years to get through, that might feel pretty shitty.
You guys have a biannual legislature right? What do you do with all that off-time?
Do...
Hmm.
Post here? This interim has been my first, and I've been a bit disappointed at how slow it's been. I expected June-December of last year to be slow, but I figured our interim studies would be cranking early this year and they haven't. Of course, I'll go back to missing this as soon as April and May of next year hit and we're working from 8 in the morning to 2 at night, 6 days a week.
Yeah, interims are really slow. I kind of like our annual legislature, actually. Just about when I'm sick and bored of interim, things get going, and about the time I'm sick of all the bustle and noise, it's over.
I would probably prefer this, but with Texas being as huge as it is, I'm sure our elected members would not, with all the travelling back and forth between their home city and the capital.
For the most part, the kids I have the most trouble with are the kids that went through foster homes, juvie, then the young adult centers. Once they get to my end, they've been taught that if they throw a fit or swing at custody staff, that there is nothing physically that can be done to them, other than restraining. That doesn't fly here in real prison. Most people would be surprised how long an inmate can resist an officer after they've been knocked unconscious. Which leads me to my favorite joke ever:
How many Correctional Officers does it take to push an inmate down a flight of stairs?
what's up
(I had class)
AKA: mdraw, dux, milkman
Hey, I'd be more than happy to be laid off due to lack of prisoners. Don't see that happening.
And I sell coke to kids.
The internet makes me uncomfortable sometimes.
For print journalism?
Ha ha ha money in print journalism these days
at my job at wal-mart I am normally a store standards associate. I get all the shit jobs. Clean toilets, bring in carts, general maintenance, carry outs and stuff. It's still a pretty fucking easy job.
but I go to work today to check my schedule and my boss comes up to me and tells me that they're thinking of moving me to the sales floor
in the toys section
BOSSES
IF YOU'RE READING THIS
STOP THINKING
PLEASE
PLEASE
GIVE ME THAT JOB
Hey, all the older prisoners think that joke is funny as fuck. The new kids just look uneasy about it. And we don't beat up prisoners. It's a joke. The only time we lay hands on an inmate like that is if they are being extracted from their cells after spraying them with OC or a tazer, or if they jump on someone.
I arrive at that Subway and they are closed for remodeling. This leaves me a little worried about the status of my job. I call the corporate offices and get the number of the new manager, call the new manager, and receive no reply.
Today they reopen for business, and I walk in to speak to the manager.
I will not be given my job back, as according to the terms of the leave of absence, not reporting to the store on the day required counts as voluntarily leaving the store, and they have a no re-hiring policy.
FUCK Subway.
dude mine is remodeling right now
waoooohawagh
guess who doesn't show up on facebook searches!
that's right, it's me!