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Andy's Dummies- Horror Movie quality stuff in here

beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
edited September 2008 in Social Entropy++
Hey SE++
I have another crazy Eastern Canadian profession to tell you all about.
However, this one is not awesome like the falconer

this one is absolutely 100% the most terrifying thing about the east coast of Canadaland. (that includes Mountain lion attacks and the fact that Newfoundland has the most haunted street in the entirety of North America, apparently... damn you Vikings!)

Andy's Dummies.
If you are taking the Confederation Bridge from Prince Edward Island into New Brunswick, and if you are paying attention to the right side of the two-lane highway, you may see a really easy to miss driveway on the right side of the road with some crudely painted signs and what at first glance looks like trash... until you see the child's doll, hairless, hanging by it's neck from a tree with a sign that says "you ain't seen nothin' yet"

you slam on your breaks, look back, look at your group of attractive college freshman friends, your eyes linger on the visible minority and the hot blonde with the big boobs. "is this for serious?"

yes this is very for serious, mister A student who is an attractive, wise beyond his years male who will probably be one of the only two to survive if you choose to venture down that driveway!

http://www.medianet.ca/macdonald/dummy.htm
don't let the bright argyle tiled background fool you. This is a tale of legendary horror.
dmmy2bg.jpg
Andy MacDonald is an easy-going Cape Bretoner from Sydney Mines who first began his family using a Javex bottle and a worn red sweater of his own. An offended neighbour, mistaking the figure for Andy, called shortly after it took its place in front of the farm to complain that Andy had not returned his greeting. Andy felt his second offspring was lonely (he has one real child), so he made another, then another, and the next year he decided they definitely required a community of "people" like themselves, to create a group spirit. The spirit and the "family" materialized. According to Andy, the characters shape themselves as soon as he starts them; he knows what they are thinking and what they want to say, and chuckles to himself as each new member evolves after its own particular pattern.

okay not so bad... but read this fucking line:
Andy has a propensity for collecting people, real and otherwise. Each character has a name and an incredible story behind it. Try to get Andy to give you a personal tour, it's his whole life. If you have a name that hasn't been immortalized by one of his dummies, he'll be interested in turning your name into one of his characters

WHAT THE FUCK!???!??!?
That is something you're read in the synopsis on the back of some shitty B slasher flick
he collects real people?
what the hell does that even mean?

Anyways, my friends, being idiots drove down there once and actually entered the driveway, then got scared and went to leave, but the one driving decided to turn around in a patch of grass on a rainy day and they got stuck and had to get out to push the car those fucking idiots

one of my friends refused to get out and help, he hid in the back
a smarter man than the rest of them
if they had been further down the driveway they probably would have died grizzly deaths but i guess that there's this huge shed attached to the house with a giant sign that says "Wait till you see old Johnny"
aaaargh! scary!!!

dmmy3bg.jpg
read the signs, they are so scary :(

dmmy4bg.jpg

uggggggh

anyways, post some scary shit in here.

beavotron on

Posts

  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    What the fuck.

    desperaterobots on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    haha that's fucked up
    you country is fucked up

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I can't read all of the signs, I want someone with better deciphering skills than my own to tell me what those say

    beavotron on
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I was everything a woman wished for until she turned...

    Ringo on
    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    beav i think this is the kind of thing that ties our coasts together
    we had similar crazies back in courtenay
    i remember passing those obscure 3 mile driveways and seeing signs that made no sense
    (one i recall said something along the lines of, "over there over there over there not here")
    (i must add that this is coming from a 10 year old's memory)
    and then there would be little doodads and woozlewogs amongst the trees
    plastic bags
    hanging barbie dolls
    the work of a child? who's to say, but it always gave me the heebie jeebies.

    mully on
  • IskanderIskander Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    what in the hell

    Iskander on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    The trees are bending over
    The cows are lying down
    The atumn's taking over
    You can hear the buckshot hounds
    The watchman said to Reba the loon
    Was it pale at Manzanita
    Or Blind Bob the raccoon?
    Pin it on a drifter
    They sleep beneath the bridge
    One plays the violin
    And sleeps inside a fridge
    There was a murder in the red barn
    A murder in the red barn

    Someone's crying in the woods
    Someone's burying all his clothes
    Now Slam the Crank from Wheezer
    Slept outside last night and froze
    Road kill has its seasons
    Just like anything
    It's possums in the autumn
    And it's farm cats in the spring
    There was a murder in the red barn
    A murder in the red barn

    Now they surrounded the house
    They smoke him out
    They took him off in chains
    The sky turned black and bruised
    And we had months of heavy rains
    Now the raven's nest in the rotted roof
    Of Chenoweth's old place
    And no one's asking Cal
    About that scar upon his face
    'Cause there's nothin' strange
    About an axe with bloodstains in the barn

    There's always some killin'
    You got to do around the farm
    A murder in the red barn
    Murder in the red barn

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Mully wrote: »
    beav i think this is the kind of thing that ties our coasts together
    we had similar crazies back in courtenay
    i remember passing those obscure 3 mile driveways and seeing signs that made no sense
    (one i recall said something along the lines of, "over there over there over there not here")
    (i must add that this is coming from a 10 year old's memory)
    and then there would be little doodads and woozlewogs amongst the trees
    plastic bags
    hanging barbie dolls
    the work of a child? who's to say, but it always gave me the heebie jeebies.

    it's the salt water
    makes us all a little crazy

    there's so many weird things about Eastern Canada
    mostly because the biggest city we have here is Halifax, and you can actually walk the length of the city in 20 minutes from one end of the main street to the other.
    it's small (but totally the raddest city ever, i'm so biased)

    other than that, it's ancient fishing villages and forests
    New Brunswick, PEI, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland are all very rustic and rural
    the result is eccentric old people and a shit ton of scary ghost stories

    beavotron on
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Not enough D: in the world

    Janson on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    that is so freakin' cool

    potatoe on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Beavs is one of my top five favorite Canadians, all-time

    NotASenator on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    man, dude is probably just lonely and wants real friends. i wonder if he's made any hair dolls

    lostwords on
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  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Beavs is one of my top five favorite Canadians, all-time

    sweeeeeeet
    my favorite canadian was terry fox he was an awesome dude

    jim carrey's alright

    beavotron on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I tell you, the north does something to a man's mind.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    my favorite canadien is alanis morissette

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • GRMikeGRMike The Last Best Hope for Humanity The God Pod Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    My ex and I took our engagement photos in a place in Austin called "The Enchanted Forest". The photog who came with us promised us it was a "public area" and we can just go in and take pictures.

    WRONG.

    The whole place was set up like some Wiccan ceremony with candles melted in animal skulls and backwoods Hillbillies that kinda looked like they belonged in The Hills Have Eyes. We took some pics... then we were confronted by these "artistic" people and told that we needed to leave. We decided that they weren't serious so we kept walking and took some more pictures- including our best one... which I don't have anymore (unsadly). Then we noticed they were following us... I thought at that moment I was going to have to defend both my Ex and her limp-wristed photographer friend from a horde of homeless Austin hippies all strung out on meth and Lonestar.

    Anyhow, we made it out alive and 4 months later called the wedding off. Do I blame the forest? Maybe.

    It turns out it was private property... and one with quite a following:
    http://www.austinenchantedforest.com/gallery.html

    GRMike on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    BELOW IS A VERY SAUCY KID AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I BATHED HIM IN TOMATO SAUCE BEFORE I ATE HIM AHAHAHAHAHA

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    huuuuurgh

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    GRMike wrote: »
    My ex and I took our engagement photos in a place in Austin called "The Enchanted Forrest". The photog who came with us promised us it was a "public area" and we can just go in and take pictures.

    WRONG.

    The whole place was set up like some Wiccan ceremony with candles melted in animal skulls and backwoods Hillbillies that kinda looked like they belonged in The Hills Have Eyes. We took some pics... then we were confronted by these "artistic" people and told that we needed to leave. We decided that they weren't serious so we kept walking and took some more pictures- including our best one... which I don't have anymore (unsadly). Then we noticed they were following us... I thought at that moment I was going to have to defend both my Ex and her limp-wristed photographer friend from a horde of homeless Austin hippies all strung out on meth and Lonestar.

    Anyhow, we made it out alive and 4 months later called the wedding off. Do I blame the forest? Maybe.

    It turns out it was private property... and one with quite a following:
    http://www.austinenchantedforest.com/gallery.html

    ugh the pics in album one are weird, but there's a really cool car in there:
    1001803.jpg

    beavotron on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Sometimes I think Austin is pretty cool, but other times I disagree.

    This town, guys. This town is weird.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • GRMikeGRMike The Last Best Hope for Humanity The God Pod Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    It's full of shit like that. The pic we took that was on our announcement was us sitting in front of a big Ironwork Claddagh. If we hadn't been trespassing, obviously on a day after some Pagan ceremony it would have been a cool place.

    GRMike on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Beavs is one of my top five favorite Canadians, all-time

    sweeeeeeet
    my favorite canadian was terry fox he was an awesome dude

    jim carrey's alright

    jim carrey is so far down on my list, it's almost not worth mentioning.

    NotASenator on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I'm siding with "That's fucking awesome" on this.

    But then again I think ossuaries are fucking awesome sooo

    Moriveth on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited September 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    GRMike wrote: »
    My ex and I took our engagement photos in a place in Austin called "The Enchanted Forrest". The photog who came with us promised us it was a "public area" and we can just go in and take pictures.

    WRONG.

    The whole place was set up like some Wiccan ceremony with candles melted in animal skulls and backwoods Hillbillies that kinda looked like they belonged in The Hills Have Eyes. We took some pics... then we were confronted by these "artistic" people and told that we needed to leave. We decided that they weren't serious so we kept walking and took some more pictures- including our best one... which I don't have anymore (unsadly). Then we noticed they were following us... I thought at that moment I was going to have to defend both my Ex and her limp-wristed photographer friend from a horde of homeless Austin hippies all strung out on meth and Lonestar.

    Anyhow, we made it out alive and 4 months later called the wedding off. Do I blame the forest? Maybe.

    It turns out it was private property... and one with quite a following:
    http://www.austinenchantedforest.com/gallery.html

    ugh the pics in album one are weird, but there's a really cool car in there:
    1001803.jpg
    That guy and the Japanese motorcycle dude need to hang out.

    bombardier on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    bombardier wrote: »
    beavotron wrote: »
    GRMike wrote: »
    My ex and I took our engagement photos in a place in Austin called "The Enchanted Forrest". The photog who came with us promised us it was a "public area" and we can just go in and take pictures.

    WRONG.

    The whole place was set up like some Wiccan ceremony with candles melted in animal skulls and backwoods Hillbillies that kinda looked like they belonged in The Hills Have Eyes. We took some pics... then we were confronted by these "artistic" people and told that we needed to leave. We decided that they weren't serious so we kept walking and took some more pictures- including our best one... which I don't have anymore (unsadly). Then we noticed they were following us... I thought at that moment I was going to have to defend both my Ex and her limp-wristed photographer friend from a horde of homeless Austin hippies all strung out on meth and Lonestar.

    Anyhow, we made it out alive and 4 months later called the wedding off. Do I blame the forest? Maybe.

    It turns out it was private property... and one with quite a following:
    http://www.austinenchantedforest.com/gallery.html

    ugh the pics in album one are weird, but there's a really cool car in there:
    1001803.jpg
    That guy and the Japanese motorcycle dude need to hang out.

    you of course must be referring to the japanese police force found in Ueno:
    June24_motorcycle.jpg
    June24_motor3.jpg
    June24_motor2.jpg

    beavotron on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    mad bling

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • monsterrormonsterror HEY ASSBUTT Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Mysst wrote: »
    Sometimes I think Austin is pretty cool, but other times I disagree.

    This town, guys. This town is weird.

    I nominate we keep it that way.

    ahurgh

    monsterror on
  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    oh god

    that cop's face

    hahahahaha

    Snowbeat on
    Q1e6oi8.gif
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Pssssh

    Please guys this is nothing

    You should see the shrine I made out of all of you.

    That's right, Mori, Sarakun, Mysst.
    I got your hair at night and it's on my dolls.

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I knew I was missing something when I came back home.

    My soul

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    and some butt hair

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    same thing

    TheySlashThem on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Japanese Danny Devito.

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    So the coasts of Canada are like U.S. states that don't border an ocean(with the exception of Texas)?

    If you go there with 6 friends only one or two are making it back alive to tell the tale of inbred monsters that raped/ate/murdered(all 3) of the others?

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    hey now

    we inbred rape-eat-murder monsters are a proud people

    TheySlashThem on
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    you country is fucked up

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • OdenOden Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    It would be funny if you go down that driveway and talk to Andy and he turns out to be a really nice guy who reimburses you really well for the time you spend telling him your life story.

    Oden on
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