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Tiny, Little, Problem...(SOLVED)
Jokerman
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I've got a bit of a problem here guys,
and to be honest there's not another place where i feel as comfortable, so here goes.
I'm a little bit bigger then average. I've always just thought I was modestly endowed but I've come to realize that I'm a good bit above par. This is a problem, because when me and my girlfriend are being intimate, it's beggining to hurt. Plenty of foreplay, nice and gentle, it's just too much! And she even seems to be worried that i'm pressing against her organs and moving them around and i'm going to make her infertile. So I guess my first question is, is that even possible? And also i'd like any advice on how not to hurt her.
and to be honest there's not another place where i feel as comfortable, so here goes.
I'm a little bit bigger then average. I've always just thought I was modestly endowed but I've come to realize that I'm a good bit above par. This is a problem, because when me and my girlfriend are being intimate, it's beggining to hurt. Plenty of foreplay, nice and gentle, it's just too much! And she even seems to be worried that i'm pressing against her organs and moving them around and i'm going to make her infertile. So I guess my first question is, is that even possible? And also i'd like any advice on how not to hurt her.
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2. Try it with her on top, that way she can control things (speed, depth, etc.).
It's not too big, you aren't going to wreck her internal organs, you aren't going to make her infertile. Use more foreplay and be more gentle. A woman's vagina can stretch large enough to pass a baby, the passage is deep enough that you aren't going to get anywhere near the womb, never mind her ovaries, your cock is comparatively insignificant compared to the scales associated with her reproductive organs. This always comes down to a question of technique, if you're hurting her and making her uncomfortable you're doing it wrong. Experiment until you find what is right for both of you.
Did you accidentally squash her brain during oral sex?
I doubt his tongue is also that long.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
Define "murder." Is she being too rough with you?
It sounds like it may be a big problem with inexperience. I've been in a similar situation... an ex of mine had only been with one other person before me, and he was apparently hung like a hamster. I'm... a bit bigger than that. Combine that with her struggles with an oppressive upbringing (she didn't know a lot about sex and she felt guilty about it), and she just plain wasn't having fun.
The reason? She was worried I was too big and was going to hurt her. And because of the worries, she was less relaxed and less ready... so it wasn't comfortable for her. And pretty soon it did hurt for her.
Fortunately, the problem was all psychological. I worked with her for a long time, being gentle and being slow, and gradually letting her realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Once she was more relaxed and more confident, things got a lot better for both of us.
Could it be something like that?
If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to message me. Yes, that includes you.
Essentially, the ball is on you to keep the depth right (unless shes 'doing the work' so to speak, from any number of positions)- the next time you have a chance to play, take it slow and easy and gradually increase the depth until you hit the 'end' of the trail (if she can't tell you, you should still be able to tell, her eyes will get wide, and for the most part her cheeks and neck will begin to involuntarily flush), and then pay the fuck attention to how your hips are in relation to her own.
Its not like theres some mystical force at work here, Captian Bob is only going to adventure in as far as you push him. Take a look, see where things are at when you hit that limit, and then give yourself about a three quarter inch play on that when things get heavy. Yes yes, the 'want' is to go in all deep and smashy, but you don't need to. That element of control is going to come in handy later, so practice early. If you can feel that 'wall', that limit in your mind, then you can still go hard and press against that wall.
Three quick tips. She can put fingers on either side of you, squeezing herself together slightly while you're in, if its just that last half inch or so, she can control it that way, and you'll never feel the difference. Second, try your missionary position with her legs inside of yours, not outside, again, it adds just a bit of extra range, and thirdly, try from behind with her flat on the bed; for a lot of people, this position isn't so much 'longer' as it is more comfortable- deeper thrusts will deflect off the gspot and then inwards, sliding in underneath the cervix, where things are a bit more resilient, taking out some that 'impalement' sensation (which some like and others worry about) and giving her more control over depth, because she can arch up her butt if she wants more.
IME most women enjoy the sensation of being filled to the brim, even going a bit over that limit on arrival- but if you're not careful, you can cause aches and pains that will limit activity in the shortterm future. So be careful. The good news is that maintaining that level of control on your part is going to pretty much ensure multiple orgasms on her part, which I think everybody can agree is a good thing.
I disagree, I think hitting the cervix could be exactly the OP's problem and you don't need to be nine inches.
Any tips on how to be "careful" but still get the *SLAP* *BAM!* *KAPOW* action? I mean, if you both like to do it as hard as you can go how do you limit the aches and pains?
Lube isn't a problem.
but they're listening to every word I say
Hahaha, no, the cervix issue can crop up at pretty much any length, particularly if she's tensed up. Arousal lengthens the vagina and can help keep the cervix up and out of harm's way, but if she's nervous or just plain old small down there (women come in different sizes just like men), he's very likely hitting her cervix. From personal experience, that hurts like a motherfucker.
Try different positions that limit the amount of penetration you can do. For lack of a better description, try to keep her butt in between you and her. For example, her laying flat on her stomack and you on top is good because her butt and thighs are keeping you from thrusting entirely into her. (This will also hit her g-spot, so if she likes that, you're good.) If your heights are compatible, her facing a wall and keeping her legs fairly close together works too. During missionary, she can keep her legs down to limit how deep you go, or you can try getting her to have one leg over your leg and one leg under, like scissors, to angle the penetration away from her cervix.
Above all, though, take things slow, use lots and lots and lots of lube, and keep communication open. You may never be able to go all-out without hurting her, but there's no reason you can't have fun sex.
http://store.babeland.com/men-cock-rings/sonic-ring-kit
It will be a spacer of sorts, plus who doesn't like vibrators?
Of course depending on the size of your dick this may make little to no difference.
Really? Hm, didn't know that. About the cervix moving, that is. Ah well, I was going by personal experience, so looks like it's not universal.
Trow's post is excellent on the 'why'- using butt and thighs to keep you from going in too deeply. Other than that, you can experiment to find whats comfortable, but you cant always change the level of sexual compatibility, and part of that is simply physics and proportion.
IME, I've found that tension play yeilds excellent results, pitting your own muscles against each other in a kind of sexual isometrics. Think of flexing your bicep, the way you can use your triceps to push out, while the bicep pulls in, and it does work, so it flexes and gets hard. In the bigger picture, you can do this with every muscle set in your body, no matter where it is. It might take some playing around to find the right counter set, but they're there. Once you find them, you can exert as much force into it as you want, because other muscles are keeping that force in check. It's not quite the same as a full on pounding, but pretty animalistic in its own way.
I don't like to think of that as a 'compromise', simply an alternative method, but yah, if your big enough to do some damage, and your partner isn't built to take it, other methods deserve exploration. You want to pour a gallon of water into a pint glass, sometimes you have to think outside the box.
Oh, and:
Fixed.
I am in fact sitting on top of my giant horse penis that is coiled underneath me.
This sounds like a simple case of inexperience. It gets better, don't worry.