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Grandmother has scared the SHIT out of me.
Mim
lemme gobble that weenieRegistered User regular
lemme gobble that weenieRegistered User regular
So tonight at around 9-ish I was walking my two small dogs with my grandmother over in the school across from my house. Closer to the back of the school yard it's REALLY dark back there but I was within her line of sight nor did I go that far back there. She was apparently watching two guys who were standing over by a tree somewhere else who were talking to each other, then they proceeded to walk over to where I was standing. They passed my grandmother on the way over there and kept walking till they decided to ask her if the gate at the back of the school was locked or not (back there is a track for running). She said she didn't know and they walked off. Now she thinks they were going to attack me despite them seeing her and asking her if the gate was locked and walked off when she didn't know. I think they would have attacked regardless if it was or wasn't.
Anyways, I have tried not to get caught up in her paranoia since she's been living with me (she, today, was convinced that if I didn't wear pants I was making it easier for men to rape me) but considering the city I live in (Philadelphia) and the constant bombardment of paranoia pressed upon me daily, I am now scared shitless of something bad happening to me. Whether I'm on my way to school, or taking the dogs out, or out with my parents. I know most of the violence here is gang related but shit still happens to innocent people (as has been stressed to me...every two hours... every. fucking. day.)
I was wondering what I can do to be safer in Philadelphia. I'm considering buying a pocket knife and an LED flashlight (in dark situations to temporarily blind my attacker and be able to stab them in a quick get away fashion) to carry around with me plus pepper spray.
I'm more into pocket knife suggestions of something big to carry with me but not too big and not something I need two hands to get into "stab mode". I'm also open to suggestions of stun guns and martial arts I could take to better help my self defense in dangerous situations (though don't get my wrong, I'm not one to stick around for a fight, a kick and I'm fucking out of there).
I know this makes me seem like combat ready and paranoid to the max but considering I'm tall, lanky and under weight making me easily underpowered, I want to take any precautions I can. When I turn 21, I'll see what I can do about getting gun licensed but until then, I'd like to know what I can do in the mean time to protect myself.
tl;dr Help me figure out the best ways to defend myself in a dangerous situation. Weaponry/Martial Arts suggestions welcomed.
Anyways, I have tried not to get caught up in her paranoia since she's been living with me (she, today, was convinced that if I didn't wear pants I was making it easier for men to rape me) but considering the city I live in (Philadelphia) and the constant bombardment of paranoia pressed upon me daily, I am now scared shitless of something bad happening to me. Whether I'm on my way to school, or taking the dogs out, or out with my parents. I know most of the violence here is gang related but shit still happens to innocent people (as has been stressed to me...every two hours... every. fucking. day.)
I was wondering what I can do to be safer in Philadelphia. I'm considering buying a pocket knife and an LED flashlight (in dark situations to temporarily blind my attacker and be able to stab them in a quick get away fashion) to carry around with me plus pepper spray.
I'm more into pocket knife suggestions of something big to carry with me but not too big and not something I need two hands to get into "stab mode". I'm also open to suggestions of stun guns and martial arts I could take to better help my self defense in dangerous situations (though don't get my wrong, I'm not one to stick around for a fight, a kick and I'm fucking out of there).
I know this makes me seem like combat ready and paranoid to the max but considering I'm tall, lanky and under weight making me easily underpowered, I want to take any precautions I can. When I turn 21, I'll see what I can do about getting gun licensed but until then, I'd like to know what I can do in the mean time to protect myself.
tl;dr Help me figure out the best ways to defend myself in a dangerous situation. Weaponry/Martial Arts suggestions welcomed.
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Don't do it.
Pepper spray 'em in the face, kick 'em in the crotch, and run.
For MAs, you'll want to shop around so to speak. A good instructor/school is critical. For defensive purposes, popular stuff includes Krav Maga, Muay Thai, Brazilian Jijitsu, and Filipino styles (Arnis, Kali, etc. some of which focus on weapons in addition to unarmed).
Getting a flashlight is good. An LED light on your keychain is a good idea in general. Something bigger like a D-cell Maglite would be even better if you're out walking the dogs at night. More light and many a police officer has used one as an improvised bludgeon in an emergency.
Pepper spray is a good idea, but you also need to remember a few things when using it. Having a backup plan if the wind isn't favorable is a very good idea. Fox labs makes very well regarded stuff. Other companies seem to be subject to far more debate.
Pocket knives are a trickier issue. They're really more of a tool that also can be used as a weapon. Again, something that can be pretty useful in general and in an emergency can be very helpful (they're frequently carried by firefighters for a reason), but there are a lot more legal issues you have to deal with and understand since you move into the lethal force category if you use one as a weapon. Even with little training, it's very possible to frighteningly effective with one but don't expect to turn into a ninja the moment you pick one up. It would be a lot more useful to get a pocket knife as a utility tool that can come in handy from time to time and serve as a weapon in a pinch than it is to get one with the mindset of viewing it primarily as a weapon since that really is what you'll do with one.
Finally but most importantly is the mental aspect. Situational awareness is a must. Anything you do or learn does little good if you don't recognize you're in trouble or at risk. Not just for people wanting to hurt you either, not walking right next to a corner you can't see around also means you're less likely to have someone in a hurry run smack into you and the like. Learning to stay alert when you're outside is something to get into the habit of. You seem to have the other part about the only fight you're guaranteed to walk away from being the one you aren't around for down.
Edit: Since you added a post since I started replying, I suggest that if you do decide to investigate knife combatives (the Filipino MAs delve into this) then you should see what the schools teach with first. They may have their own recommendations.
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1. Buy a personal alarm with a flashing light. I know a lot of people ignore car alarm type noises nowadays, but it's a good first defense, and legal everywhere.
2. If you shout for help, most people will be afraid to intervene. Sad but true. Instead, scream "DON'T TOUCH MY BABY!!" or something to that effect. (This is what I did, btw, and it worked.)
3. For a weapon, I suggest buying a Kubotan, and then taking a self-defense class to learn how to use it.
The same is true of anything. In my research, the amount of times this actually happens is low. Logically speaking, if this were the norm victims of attacks would be turning the attacker's weapon against them most of the time.
A kubotan and pepper spray together may be redundant. Not necessarily a bad thing (see previous comment about pepper spray and unfavorable wind), but both rely on pain compliance so if the pepper spray fails, the kubotan may be ineffective as well.
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I hope this doesn't come off as snarky, but even if they're far more effective than a pocket knife I'd still like a pocket knife for an "if all else fails". I know I need to look into local laws and bad shit can happen in general but i'd still feel better knowing that if option 1 fails so does number 2 I still have number 3...though I think after option 1 failing I'm most certainly fucked, I'd still like knowing I tried everything.
And I've been meaning to say "taser" instead of "stun gun" but firefox kept saying the spelling was wrong so I thought stun gun was just an alternative word to taser.
If you carry one that's large enough to serve as a useful self defense, chances are it's also going to be large enough to count as a lethal weapon. And while I don't know the laws in Philly, I'm willing to bet they tend to look down on concealed weapons.
If you are set on getting a knife, check out spyderco's lines. They're high quality (or where last time I checked reviews) and are easy to open one handed which should help minimize some juggling while you get it open.
I do like the idea of carrying a big maglite flashlight. Having a foot long steel tube stuffed with batteries already in hand will be a lot more of a deterent (I'd imagine) then having a knife in your bag or pocket. It's out where everyone can see it and you won't have to juggle stuff in your hands to get to it as you would with the flashlight/knife combo you mentioned above. Very few attackers are likely to give you much warning (this is where situational awareness comes in), so the less time between "going for a walk" and "defending yourself" the better.
I frequently visit New York, and you're not allowed to have pepper spray.
While a maglite would be great, if the attackers are going to be scoping me out from afar and notice I have a giant ass flashlight then wouldn't they be able to find a way to take the flashlight out of my hands? Especially with my weight (120 lbs, I'm 5'9) and no upper body strength it'd be quite easy. I'm not saying "NO FLASHLIGHT" but I'm pondering the defense of it. Plus, wouldn't it be easier to move faster with the knife than the flashlight? Not that much pressure is needed to inflict damage with a knife than with a flashlight I'd assume.
Yes, I notice there is a giant "NO KNIVES" consensus here, but I already agreed to looking into the pocket knife laws in Philadelphia so I'm still willing to look around for one that can be opened up with one hand. I don't carry a purse so I'm not going to be busy digging into one to grab my knife. I just don't want to shut down any form of self defense hence my not dropping the knife issue and not wanting it discarded in case someone comes into the thread with a suggestion for one but find that the tone was very anti-knife and not post their idea in fear of getting cursed out.
Beyond the knife issue, what kind of pepper spray should I look into? I will look into the kubotan and the LED flashlights (for now a small one) and how much do women's self defense classes normally run?
That stuff looks pretty awesome.
http://www.selfdefenseweapons.com/mace-pepper-gel.htm
So does that.
The reason a big maglite would work is because it is a deterrant. Your odds of getting assaulted when you are visibly holding a weapon must be less.
This is an article about a slim 5'10 guy using that style to kill a 6'6" body-builder size opponent who had his friend in a choke hold. Problem is, in this case he shouldn't have. YMMV.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/17/nyregion/17smoke.html?pagewanted=print&position=
Yes you'd be able to move faster with a knife then the big flashlight. The purpose of the flashlight is to make it so you're a less tempting target. The purpose of a knife is to defend yourself once your already a victim.
Remember that they'd still need to remove the flashlight and while they're concentrating on that, you still have one arm and your legs free to strike them. There's always the tradeoff of being more cumbersome and easier to grab though. Hence backup plans.
When discussing knives it's important to remember that you move into the lethal force category. This is perfectly legal in a situation where you feel your life is in danger. Whenever a self defense thread comes up, some posters do not separate these situations from stuff like a drunken bar brawl where you would not be justified in responding with lethal force and it leads to a lot of confusion. Given what you've said, I can't really imagine all that many situations you'd be involved in a violent or potentially violent act where you would not justifiably be in fear for your life, but still have to put it out there.
With most knives versus blunt objects, you sacrifice reach for speed. Additionally, when comparing bludgeons with edged weapons, your choice of targets also shifts. While a piercing wound to the chest, abdomen, or neck seems to be the most lethal attack with an edged weapon, this is not really what you're interested in in a defensive situation (said wounds may be lethal, but outside of the neck take a long time to stop an attacker). The people I've talked to that study or teach knife combatives tend to favor damage to muscles in the arms or legs where even a small blade can impair or cripple motor function to facilitate an escape. Most attacks to the chest, the biggest target, with commonly carried knives won't have the same effect as they would with a blunt weapon due to the rib cage being in the way. With a blunt weapon, as long as you hit a bone you're doing something so you don't have to be as picky.
It's very important to understand the strengths and limitations of anything you use for defense. This said, more than one police officer I've talked to or read stuff by has used or carries a pocket knife to help retain their primary weapon (ie, injure the arm of the perp that is grabbing the officer's firearm) and I seem to recall having chatted with a man whose wife escaped an abduction attempt by cutting at the arms of a man that grabbed her from behind. In that last situation, a bludgeon wouldn't be of much use and you'd have to be really prepared for pain to use pepper spray.
Pretty much any modern pocket knife design opens with one hand. If it has a visible thumb stud protruding out, thumb disk on top of, or thumb hole about a centimeter in diameter in the blade, it's almost certainly designed to open up with one hand. Unless you specifically look for one (ie, a swiss army knife or a Buck 110), it's harder to find a pocket knife that requires two hands to open.
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Also, if you walk around looking freaked out and victim-like all the time, you're going to attract predatory people. You really need to shake off that conditioning.
Still, its never a bad thing to want to watch out for yourself, so start self-defence classes, sure. I wouldn't go seeking out one of those woman-specific-all-about-fending-off-muggers ones because quality can be, uh, variable. If you want to learn to fight, a half-day class won't teach you shit anyway. Learn a proper martial art the hard way.
And don't carry a knife. Its just stupid.
I think it's fucked up that the stun gun can't be brought into Philly (fucking Philadelphia) hence my urge to move to Portland, Oregon. I know the laws are set up to be so that they can keep bad guy from committing more harm but it severely leaves the good guys unprotected.
I mentioned this in the Martial Arts thread but I do plan to take Aikido and some other martial arts classes. I'm just really concerned with not only keeping myself safe but others around me. Especially if someone fucks with my dogs while I'm out walking them. Right now they're the closest to having kids I'm going to get and it would kill me to know that I couldn't protect them in a situation where we're getting attacked by someone.
Yeah, I commented in that thread. I rode the bus till they caught that guy which was horrible because the bus takes FOREVER to get to school with everyone stopping at every corner. Now when I ride the train everyone is staring everyone else down trying to size them up to see if they can take them. While I wouldn't be stupid enough to think that by carrying a knife (or any training or any other weapon) I could turn into Rambo and save someone being attacked I'd at least pull the alarm and feel secure in knowing that I have something that could save me in case they decide to turn on me.
Laws vary state to state, situation to situation of course. I can only cite MD law and case law on the matter. Still, that reminds me of something I forgot late at night: make friends with a lawyer. Hopefully someone in your family is friends with a lawyer that practices in PA. In any self defense situation no matter what level of force was involved, you'll have to talk to the police and you don't want to navigate the maze of legalize yourself, especially in a situation where you still may be shaken up.
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And the obvious thing to remember is that if someone demands you hand over your purse you just toss it to them and get a good description for the police.
Oh yeah, I know what you (and anyone else in this thread) is saying. I do keep myself safe. I don't wear headphones when walking, I always look around myself to be aware and keep my ears open for foot steps or things that sound out of place. I don't go out at night by myself or stop to let anyone use my phone or ask for the time. I walk fast and like I know where I'm going (and a good chunk of the time I do). Since my sister left I don't really go out because my parents are busy, I don't have any real friends here and ...well I live with my grandmother who calls my mom every hour to ask her where I'm at when I'm IN SCHOOL. I stay out of dark areas and in a place where someone can see me. Hence why I wondered why my grandmother thought we were still in danger when the guys were walking in my general direction and then turned away after asking her if she knew about the gate to the track.
I really only walk the dogs by myself during the day and she STILL watches me when I do. I especially avoid people when I am with the dogs because they're very protective and bark loudly. But I don't want anyone attacking my babies because I'm REALLY attached to them (probably in a very unhealthy [not sexually] manner attached). Hell, for halloween I'm dressing them up. I want to protect them from any attackers trying to get to me but might take them out first.
So I'm very safe. Her pressing her ideals upon me every two hours since May though has started to seep into my mind. I have panic disorder and her telling me this doesn't make it easier because now I'm stressing about them. She even calls me when I open the door or she hears a noise or when I enter the kitchen. I probably run from the 2nd floor to the basement about 4 times a day because she heard something and is scared. We lock both screen doors and the regular doors.
Anyways, I ranted about my dog love and my grandmother a bit too much there. But My dogs and my general safety/ family safety is very important to me. Hence my not ruling anything out and looking at everything in ever single light to be safe.
It's important to note that physical force and knives are not mutually exclusive. The Filipino martial arts (Arnis, Kali, Escrima, etc.) do a lot with with a weapon in one hand (either a bludgeon or blade) and unarmed strikes, grabs, etc. with the empty hand with some kicking too and a lot if not most of modern knife martial arts are based on FMA.
And yes, you've essentially outlined the basics of weapon retention.
For reference http://pweb.netcom.com/~brlevine/pa.txt has what should be an up to date version of the PA state code covering non-firearm weapons. Looking up the specific articles quoted in an official state website would be the next thing to do, followed by looking up Philadelphia's own restrictions. I know they have their own restrictions on the open carry of firearms and you came across the stuff about stun guns, so there might also be something in there about knives. Otherwise, it doesn't appear that PA has any limitations on manual opening pocket knives.
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Um, it sounds like you already have a pretty good layer of protection right there. I feel like two aggressive dogs who bark at strangers would do way more to protect you than anything else.
I get for when you're not with them though. But I really wouldn't worry about the dogs, it sounds like they can take care of themselves (and you).
A stun gun will disable someone much easier than a knife. Like, much, much easier.
Trust me, a knife may make you feel safer now, but once you hold a stun gun and just press the zap button, you'll feel the power they hold.
Pepper spray is infinitely more effective. They will be floored by it. Keep in mind you're trying to create distance to run away in a dangerous, possibly violent situation; you're not looking to beat somebody up, or kick them while they're down. The longer you're with your attacker, the more dangerous the situation. Pepperspray supports this well, where as a pocket knife, if intimidation fails, will encourage you to actually hit your attacker. Stabbing someone with a pocket knife is something else to consider, there's a very high chance of it not stopping said attacker and making them angrier. I'm echoing what other people have said, but if you bring a knife, you are stupid and there is a very good chance it could get you killed.
The light is a great idea, because it gives you time to create distance, and it's a good distraction for the nutstack strike team to kick into gear.
Self defense courses are good, too, but keep in mind people bigger and stronger than you will probably kick your ass regardless of how much you know. Don't be confident that you can kick their ass, be confident that you can create enough time and distance to get away from your assailant. This is really how all of these self defense tools should be used.
So, yeah, keep in mind the attack plan is:
Kick dude in balls, run.
Pepper Spray him, run.
Flash him with bright light, run.
In environments where this is true, it is often because women are already being more safety conscious (i.e frightened of being attacked) than men, who are dumber.
A poorly/undertrained martial artist is more likely to get their asses handed to them while trying to be fancy though.
My first martial arts instructor(who had a rep for being a dirty street fighter) had a special lesson for women, according to my sister: Spray 'em in the face, Kick 'em in the crotch, and run.
This he gave to black belts. He was an amazing instructor, the style he taught was street-fighting focused with a practical base and still his anti-rape advice was spray 'em in the face, kick 'em in the crotch, and run.
Seriously, don't think about taking a pocket knife or a concealed weapon and fighting back. Slow them down so they can't follow you and run. Don't try to hurt your would-be rapist, don't try to overpower your would-be rapist, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.
Don't try to be tough.
Spray 'em in the face, Kick 'em in the crotch, and run.
Some people would say that's paranoid, but since you are not a mind reader, you have no choice but to conclude that the person chasing you intends to do you great harm. The idea that defending yourself might enrage them is totally pointless. They're already trying to kill you, right? At that point, any law regarding self defense doesn't matter in the least. You're fighting for your life.
Anything that's not in your hand and ready to be used as a weapon will be difficult to get to as you're running at top speed, and your hands will be shaking from the adrenaline rush. I carry a knife and I'm very skilled at opening it one handed, but even though it's on a clip in my pocket, I doubt I'd be able to use it in that situation. I'd most likely drop it. If you're going to carry a knife for protecting yourself, get one with a fixed blade, non-serrated edge (could get caught on cloth), and a sheath that you can pull it out of easily. Then you have to decide where to keep it...
A large flashlight, on the other hand, can always be carried. Get one that you can swing quickly. Maglite is a great brand. I carry mine so that I can hold it up at shoulder height and shine it where I want, and also be in a perfect position for an overhead swing. For a single protective item, you really can't beat being able to look into dark areas from far away, blinding your attacker, and delivering a blow capable of knocking someone out.
Final thoughts on this way too long post: Attack the eyes, throat and groin without mercy if you have to fight. If you run and your dogs don't run with you, let them go. Seriously. The person attacking you is almost certainly not interested in your dogs, and even if they are, the dogs won't stick around. They'll probably either follow you or run off, and you can start looking for them after you call the cops or gather some friends. Also, your grandmother and possibly you have anxiety issues. Please see someone about that.
A pocketknife is a handy thing if you want to take the cellophane off cds, pry open stuck tins, scrape gum off your shoes, or get rid of hanging threads. I regularly use my knife, and it's easy to keep in my purse. However, getting a knife for self-defense is a silly idea for all the reasons everyone else has mentioned.
If you're really worried, get some pepper spray for your keychain and maybe one of those loud alarms if you can find one that you won't accidentally set off every five minutes. Take a couple martial arts classes if you're interested in that. Work on staying aware of your surroundings and walking with confidence.
Also, move out from your grandma's. Her kind of paranoia is not something you need to catch.
Going off of the same idea here (I also agree that a knife is a bad idea - I used to carry one until I realized how easily it could be used against me...I have pepper spray now)...
...if somebody was genuinely attacking you, and you seriously wounded them, maybe even killed them, could you get in trouble for that, if it was in self-defense? I mean, what's the limit for self-defense? And does it matter if they were trying to kill you, or trying to rape you (not that you'd necessarily know this?)...because I'm always afraid that I may really hurt somebody if I were ever attacked, and I'd get in trouble for it, somehow. I mean, I don't want to hold back and potentially be overpowered, just because I'm afraid to hurt them "too much" to get away. It just surprises me when I hear about how easily people can die sometimes - a whack on the head! A slice in an artery! That's it! It freaks me out thinking I could easily do that by accident, especially in panic-mode while being attacked. Humans seems so fragile sometimes.
Maybe this varies by state?
My school campus has this thing that we call a "rape whistle". It's handed out for free and it's basically a referee's whistle except a bit more louder and more shrill. It might not be that much effective in the area where you live. My campus/city is really good on helping other people out.
I suggest martial arts and exercising often. Especially running.
Also, try to avoid dark and secluded areas.