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My new web comic

vixvix Registered User regular
edited October 2008 in Artist's Corner
Hey, I just began posting my web comic online. Its a science fiction comedy done in the form of daily newspaper strips. I'm posting a few of them on here, but you can see more at my webpage www.wormholeparasites.com Any feedback you can give me would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you!

comic1.jpg

comic2.jpg

comic3.jpg

vix on

Posts

  • winter_combat_knightwinter_combat_knight Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    That last strip reminds me of the first original Star Wars movie. I'm not really into webcomics, but the art itself is ok. I like that you have drawn each frame differently rather than just the old copy-paste technique.

    Also, just looked at your website. I hope you plan on doing colour versions of your comic, like in your 'Characters' link.

    winter_combat_knight on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    this isn't too bad at all, a good start and its not just the general cliche type of comic.

    my one crit is that each one looks very bland and blank, if you plan on keeping it black and white only, some variation in the linework would go a long way (thicker lines, thinner lines).

    also the border makes it look very stark, not sure what you could do to change that, but the bit blocks of white behind the mostly white panels makes it look rather boring to the eyes, maybe try setting the panels on a different color/value of greyscale

    edit- also is that comic sans? might want to avoid comic sans (anyone have a link to that font website?)

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    dafont.com has some good ones
    i think the one you're thinking of is blambot.

    beavotron on
  • Critical FailureCritical Failure Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Hi, I definitely like the writing on your strip, it's got a good rhythm to the joke set ups and delivery. I agree with Belruel in that some line width variation might not be a bad plan at all just to give your work more sense of movement.

    I do like the fact that you change perspective every now and again, so keep that going :)

    Critical Failure on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Pandora's placebo Webcomics Updating M W F.
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    So, I can't read the humans-as-pets joke without thinking of Fantastic Planet.

    NSFW, and I hate embedding Youtube videos.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys8AkwMRvgo
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVay38ao6NU
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVYutGmcHhc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyOJD5iFDW8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASv3gtTh8ik
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9R1qyr5y_Q
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8pJlmOVfQA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwLNhOzr_ts
    

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • vixvix Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Thanks everyone for your advice, its really helpful and i plan to make some of the suggested changes. thanks again!

    vix on
  • GrennGrenn Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Definitely, definitely, definitely lose the comic sans as soon as you can.

    Grenn on
  • Castle_BuilderCastle_Builder regular
    edited September 2008
    After looking at your characters page on your website Im a little confused.

    The artwork there is, even in just black and while line work, much better thent he artwork in the strips you posted. If you are going to continue doing strips Id recomend taking the time to make the characters as well rendered as the ones on your character page. No this does not mean color your strip. But the linework is just much more solid and the characters are much better drawn in the character page then in the strip.

    Just a note on the web site ... if youre trying to build an audience Id do away with the "enter" page to your website. It looks cool but its only going to irritate people that are comming there every day looking for new strips. Generally with web comics you want the comic to be the first thing they see when your site loads.

    People like Penny Arcade can get away with making people click the comic link to get the comic because they are well esablished now and because their blog is as much a part of the comic as the comic is, but in general and for people starting out the approach Kurtz takes at pvponline.com is going to make your comic and site more accessable to new readers.

    As for the comics themselves I think you have an interesting idea, and your writing is pretty clean, but Id challenge you to ask yourself why you chose the title and the types of characters you chose and try to make that more a part of the comics.

    At the moment many of the strips could be of any kind of creature in any kind of sci fi setting. What makes yours unique? and us that answer to grab people and show them a new universe of ideas. It will make your comic stand out and not appear like a sci fi for sci fis sake kind of comic.

    Castle_Builder on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    also, the main site is awful, very 1990's geocities. take that into splash page maybe and make it into a banner where you have the text right now, and lose that blob thing, do some major work on that site, asap. plain text on a black background looks very mediocre

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • vixvix Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    hahaha yeah, the site does suck, its actually the first time i've ever built one, so im kind of learning as im going. To be perfectly honost i really dont know what the hell im doing as far as designing a web site. Once I learn more im def going to revamp it

    vix on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    even just having a picture as the banner across the top instead of the arched title would make a difference. and aren't there templates already made up on the web that you can use? i'm sure there are

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Do some art for the banners and heading on your site, shouldn't take you more than the afternoon and does worlds for the site presentation

    The Black Hunter on
  • JohnTWMJohnTWM Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Why is it that everyone hates Comic Sans so much? Is it just that it's overused? Honest question, because it is used a lot, but it seems like a solid and readable font so it doesn't surprise me that it gets used so much.

    JohnTWM on
  • vixvix Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    okay, so I've begun making some suggested changes. First, I added a banner to the website to make it look a little more professional, although there's still a lot of other changes I'd like to make. Another change I made was to the comic, to get rid of all the dull white space, I started adding some tones to the drawings.
    To see the new banner and some more updated comics, please check out www.wormholeparasites.com

    here's one of the new comics with some added tones. I plan to start changing the font as well. Tomorrow is also when I'm going to add the first longer, full color Sunday comic, too. Please let me know what you think!
    comic8.jpg

    vix on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    There might be a bit of overexplanation in the jokes, if you can do without text, then I'd recommend it, perhaps lending more to the jokes with the illustrations.

    The last panel my work better with the human having a very worried tearful face and the alien saying "what?" instead. It may not though either, but I think it is something people should always take note of when structuring.

    But really, it is good, the art is quite nice, the dialogue isn't awful, though you may need to careful about ending it on anything other than the punchline, as something else after can soften it. People will be ready to laugh, but reading just those extra couple of words is when they should be grinning stupidly, and by the time they have finished the extra sentence the feeling is gone.

    The Black Hunter on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    it looks so much better with the tones! and the site is looking better too

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I never understand why it is so hard for people to bump up the contrast. You just spent however long it took you to make the comic, but you couldn't take 2 seconds to adjust the contrast?

    When your comic title and author credit are darker than the speech text and linework you have problems. It looks faded and unprofessional.

    earthwormadam on
  • vixvix Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Okay, I just posted the first Sunday version of the comic, so let me know what you think! Also, I changed the font style too to an appropriately named font "I hate Comic Sans", so hopefully everyone will like that better.
    www.wormholeparasites.com

    comic11sunday.jpg

    vix on
  • Andrew RyanAndrew Ryan Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Oh hey.. gradients.

    That sure is a whole lot of flat color with gradients applied over the top of them. Yes Sir..

    Andrew Ryan on
    Mbt2W.gifbLHcF.gifMbt2W.gifbLHcF.gif
    naknaknaknaknak
  • vixvix Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yeah I agree gradients are a pretty cheap way to make flat color a little more presentable. My favorite style of coloring my characters is presented in the "characters" page of my website, or in one of the downloadable wallpapers in my "Downloads" page, with the main colors along with highlights, tones and shadows. I'd love to color the strips like that, and I'll try to make my Sunday ones like that, but I'm very cramped for time, as I'm trying to get 3-4 comics up a week, so I just took the quick method here. Thanks for your input everyone, so far it's been tremendously helpful!
    www.wormholeparasites.com

    vix on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yeah you might wanna do flat colors as opposed to gradients, and tone down the saturation too.

    earthwormadam on
  • MustangMustang Arbiter of Unpopular Opinions Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    vix wrote: »
    Yeah I agree gradients are a pretty cheap way to make flat color a little more presentable. My favorite style of coloring my characters is presented in the "characters" page of my website,

    You mean cell shading. Yeah either cell shade or use flat colours, gradients look amateur. Also watch your colours, the fluro green grass is awfully straining on the eyes.

    Mustang on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    yea, no gradients, and don't use such saturated colors would be my advice. i can see that you're making improvement on the lineart though, it is looking pretty good. also, there is just something about the title that i just do not like (not the title as in what you call it, but the style in which it is drawn.

    i'd suggest trying a few different things, sit down and really think about it and draw out a bunch of alternatives, you might come up with something you like more

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • vixvix Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Hey everyone,
    So it's time for me to post my second Sunday comic, and I've made some of the suggested changes given after the first one. For starters, I've used the pen tool for the line art in this one to make them look crisper. Second, Ive used the gradients more sparingly, and the characters are no longer colored using gradients at all. I'm still working on a new design for the title, so for now its remained the same as before. Any other suggestions you have would be great. Thanks again!

    www.wormholeparasites.com

    comic18-sunday.gif

    vix on
  • The_Glad_HatterThe_Glad_Hatter One Sly Fox Underneath a Groovy HatRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I wouldn't break H-scroll with an online comic (because you dont' seem to be going for an infinite canvas-thingy...)
    And i'd like to see more of the restaurant...
    the "mission statement" on your website clearly states you're ambitious; show us
    When someone is talking about how awesome something is, the reader would love to join in on the fun. Perhaps reveal some more detail on the room in the background, or use a little perspective to show more of the restaurant?

    The_Glad_Hatter on
  • JohnTWMJohnTWM Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I agree with glad hatter, but I can see how well you did incorporating the suggestions on the previous piece so, as Tim and Eric would say, Great Job!.

    JohnTWM on
  • affasaffas Registered User new member
    edited October 2008
    you are not funny

    affas on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Don't use the cutout filter on a GIS result of a starfield or anything else for that matter.

    ManonvonSuperock on
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