My brother is totally crazy and it makes me sad

glithert

I have no idea where to start.

Basically I have a brother who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (that's all the information I have) and has diabetes. I can understand some of the things he does, like the mood swings (that is what Bipolar Disorder, is right?) but he also won't shower, eat right, he doesn't really understand personal boundaries (mostly property) and he has no real ambitions. He gets incredibly mad anytime something doesn't go his way, even if he was clearly in the wrong (like destroying other's property or stealing).

My parents are divorced. My father is in extremely poor health and just does not have enough energy to deal with him. My mother just doesn't have the spine to do anything anytime he acts out, and usually just ends up ignoring the problems he creates.

He lived with my mother and I until last night. The details aren't really important, but now he wants to live with my dad (not gonna happen) and is currently staying at a friend's house.

I want to help him, but I don't really understand what's wrong with him. I don't know if years of never being punished for anything have led to him thinking he can do whatever he wants or if he is really incapable of thinking normally.

...So I don't suppose you guys have any idea what to do?

eternalbl

you wanna help him what exactly? If you're trying to change him so that you can live with him, don't even bother. It'll just end with you both frustrated. Instead, realize who he is and learn to live with it.

fuelish

Do not help him. This is called enabling. He will only make your life hell.

First hand experience.
My brother is 38 and sounds just like your brother. He has been in and out of jail and prison. He borders right around the level of street person even tho he can write code in several languages and handle hardware(he loves computers). He is the ultimate parasite and everyone loves him(All the while he is using them and stealing everything of value that can be pawned) He is always in trouble and it is never his fault.\

You can still care about your brother and worry about him, but you need to let him do his thing and not get involved or you will end up broke, used, and still feeeling like the bad guy.

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Improvolone

In Florida we have something called the Baker Act.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baker_Act

The Baker Act allows for involuntary examination (what some call emergency or involuntary commitment). It can be initiated by judges, law enforcement officials, or mental health professionals. There must be evidence that the person a) has a mental illness (as defined in the Baker Act) and b) is a harm to self, harm to others, or self neglectful (as defined in the Baker Act). Examinations may last up to 72 hours and occur in 100+ Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF; originally Department of Health and Rehabilitative Services, or HRS) designated receiving facilities statewide.

There are many possible outcomes following examination of the patient. This includes the release of the individual to the community (or other community placement), a petition for involuntary inpatient placement (what some call civil commitment), involuntary outpatient placement (what some call outpatient commitment or assisted treatment orders), or voluntary treatment (if the person is competent to consent to voluntary treatment and consents to voluntary treatment). The involuntary outpatient placement language in the Baker Act took effect in 2005.

Trowizilla

If he attempts to harm (in a way other than emo cutting) himself or others, you can get him temporarily held for evaluation. However, the standards for this are pretty high, and "cuts himself and won't take showers or eat properly" aren't going to meet them.

If he steals from you, get the police involved. If he destroys your property, get the police involved. Otherwise, there's not a whole lot you can do.

noir_blood

My mom has Bi Polar disorder, so I'll tell you what I know/what it used to be like living with her. First of all, have you already had him diagnosed? Because if he's truly Bi Polar, some therapy, or even drugs might help him.

Basically, as the name implies, Bi Polar causes people to have periods of really, really high happiness, and then big periods of depression. Some days were so bad with my mom that she wouldn't get out of bed, or would physical harm herself.

Then there would be days when she would be almost like a maniac, running aorund doing ten things at once because she felt like Superwoman. It took her a long time to accept to taking medication, and even then it didn't last long. What seemed to worked for her, as strang as it might sound was finding religion. Or really, I think it was finding people she could be around and talk to.

She would sometimes end up hurting us without meaning too. Not like punching us or throwing things, but more like grabbing hold of our arms way too tightly and leaving marks. That might be where his agression would be from.

Again, therapy or medication could help. Of course, he needs to want to help himself. Good luck man.

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Thanatos

He needs to take his meds. There is a chemical imbalance in his brain, and he's not going to get any better until he's properly medicated.

Cruix

Malingering Layabout Scumbag wrote: »

He needs to take his meds. There is a chemical imbalance in his brain, and he's not going to get any better until he's properly medicated.

This. This is the only thing, the most important thing you can do for your brother.

My older brother is bipolar and often refused to take his medicine as we were growing up. During his up times he was fine, a great brother who would go out and play basketball/football with me. During the down times he would go out and steal, do drugs and get in trouble. He'd be generally depressed and feel like he had nowhere else to turn -- this kind of behavior landed my brother in prison two times, his main issue was still the fact that when he got out he'd stop taking his medicine.

It's bad, because with an issue like this if you miss a dose or two it's really easy to slip and just stop completely, either feeling that you don't need or want the medicine in your life any more.

Several years have passed now and my brother has been out of prison, he has a family and works a job and takes his medicine regularly, thankfully. I know how you feel, frustrated, sad, angry, it's extremely hard and my relationship with my brother will never be what it could have been. The best thing you can do for your brother is to be the one making sure he takes his meds, wherever he is.

Erios

Malingering Layabout Scumbag wrote: »

He needs to take his meds. There is a chemical imbalance in his brain, and he's not going to get any better until he's properly medicated.

No amount of lime can accurately emphasize the amount of truth here. Bipolar disorder is, relative to other underlying mental disorders with an organic cause or component, an extreme diagnosis. This is about as brutal as it gets on Axis 1 without being schizophrenia.