I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:
You'd want a threesome with a fat cow dyke?
That's probably better than no threesome.
I'd think of it as more of a shoe in threesome than anything, I mean apparently that door opens both ways, so if you let her know that you don't object to her sleeping with other women so long as you can join her, I don't see how that wouldn't be win...
But that's neither here nor there...
Maybe the part where she's cheating on him, and may well have actually been the one to leave him? Particularly based on the tattoo.
I mean, if he wasn't sure about her betraying him, what better way than having the name of the person engraved into her flesh to show that she cares more about the new guy than him?
I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:
You'd want a threesome with a fat cow dyke?
That's probably better than no threesome.
I'd think of it as more of a shoe in threesome than anything, I mean apparently that door opens both ways, so if you let her know that you don't object to her sleeping with other women so long as you can join her, I don't see how that wouldn't be win...
But that's neither here nor there...
Maybe the part where she's cheating on him, and may well have actually been the one to leave him? Particularly based on the tattoo.
I mean, if he wasn't sure about her betraying him, what better way than having the name of the person engraved into her flesh to show that she cares more about the new guy than him?
Good point on the tattoo... Those things tend to be a real boner killer... "who's Frank?" etc, etc...
They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
PS this is the ugliest damn building ever.
Spoiler'd for huge
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with that thing.
There's a bit of a language lesson before the story, it's kind of required so that we can all be on the same page...
When I was in the navy, I lived in Japan and was deployed all around Asia. One of the more irritating things about the other Americans I used to work with was this; They always assumed that because I could read Japanese, I could read Chinese too. To a point this is true. The word for telephone （電話） for example is similar sounding, and is written the same way in both languages. Other words, such as "Monday" use completely different characters. (In Japanese it's 月曜日 which uses the characters "moon" "week" and "day". In Chinese it's 星期一 which uses the characters "Star" "time period" and "one". Beyond this Chinese has characters that Japanese simply don't have. Chinese words like the one for automobile is written 汽车, which uses the characters "steam" and some character that is not in the Japanese language. (Japan uses only one character, 車, which means "car")
Whenever it comes up, I deal with it by saying, 'You're fluent in English, so I bet your Latin is pretty good too."
So, recently a girl in the group I hang out with broke up with her long-distance fiancee. It was apparently a nasty break-up, and involved her getting a restraining order and having to go through all this crazy stuff to get her things back from him. One day, she gets an email and breaks down in tears saying: "Nooo! That was the most valuable thing!!" And than she leaves the room crying. Other girls follow. /drama
Now I don't know this girl that well, but I believe its important to note that she is constantly playing with tarot cards, divining crystals and other wiccan stuff. She was really into that and really kind of show-offy about it. Really annoying.
A week went by and this girl was crying pretty much constantly. Eventually, I'm filled in on what this girl is so insanely upset about.
Apparently her ex-fiancee is "sealing her powers." So she can't...I guess, cast spell anymore?
That's a situation which seems fairly easy to exploit: "Don't worry, powers can be unsealed by giving yourself to another man - that way you break the sexual bond which provides him with the psyco-magick link."
That's a situation which seems fairly easy to exploit: "Don't worry, powers can be unsealed by giving yourself to another man - that way you break the sexual bond which provides him with the psyco-magick link."
"Alternatively, buy this $200 magic stick. It's not working? He must be really strong then, buy another two."
I have a real mouth on me and once I get going, I find it hard to control (or perhaps, just don't care about) the stream of curses coming out. I'm like a walking Coen Brothers film sometimes. Minor example from the other night; I was playing Warcraft, was particularly incensed about something and let loose over voice chat. Silence. Then ...
"I gotta tell you, man, all I just head was "Fucking, fuck, fuck, fucking fucking fuck fuck, fuck."
"That was about the size of it, yeah. Sorry."
"No, it's cool, each one seemed to have it's own meaning and I kinda of understood what you meant."
Now I do a slightly better job at work (though unfortunately, there IS a mute button on our phones), especially new ones where I don't know people yet. This was not one of those occaisions. I don't remember the cause of this either, so we'll just say I stubbed my toe while I was near my new coworkers.
"Shiiiiiiiiii..."
.oO(Don't say shit, don't say shit, don't say shit, don't say shit)
"iiii ... MOTHERFUCKER."
Armored Gorilla on
"I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."
I have no idea where to post this, but it's kind of strange so I guess it goes here. It's also horrible... Very very horrible.
There was a football game going on (highschool football, in Canada, not nearly as big a deal as in some parts of the States). So one kid gets just levelled by a hit, one of those so big it's hilarious hits.
Except he doesn't get up.
For a few minutes he's just laying there groaning, probably crying and holding his hip. The coach is certified with all sorts of med stuff and realizes the kids hip dislocated. The coach says he'll pop it back in, it'll hurt alot but hurt less after, the player nods his concent. Coach does his thing, pops the kids hip back in perfectly and the kid lets loose a blood curdling scream. Everyone's like "yeah that probably hurts"... and it doesn't stop. The medics are like "wtf" and stretcher him from the sidelines off to the ambulance, and then to the hospital.
The next day people get news from the coach what happened. Apparently the kid wasn't wearing a cup, and the hit ALSO knocked his balls up into his stomach, and had to be retrieved. Or rather one ball did.
The other one, slipped off to the side and fell snugly into the kids hip joint.
Only to be completely SMASHED apart when the hip was relocated.
TLDR:
Kid takes huge hit in football game, dislocates hip and knocks testes into body. One travels to the hip joint somehow, and is crushed when someone relocated (un-dislocated?) his hip. Now he has one ball.
I have no idea where to post this, but it's kind of strange so I guess it goes here. It's also horrible... Very very horrible.
There was a football game going on (highschool football, in Canada, not nearly as big a deal as in some parts of the States). So one kid gets just levelled by a hit, one of those so big it's hilarious hits.
Except he doesn't get up.
For a few minutes he's just laying there groaning, probably crying and holding his hip. The coach is certified with all sorts of med stuff and realizes the kids hip dislocated. The coach says he'll pop it back in, it'll hurt alot but hurt less after, the player nods his concent. Coach does his thing, pops the kids hip back in perfectly and the kid lets loose a blood curdling scream. Everyone's like "yeah that probably hurts"... and it doesn't stop. The medics are like "wtf" and stretcher him from the sidelines off to the ambulance, and then to the hospital.
The next day people get news from the coach what happened. Apparently the kid wasn't wearing a cup, and the hit ALSO knocked his balls up into his stomach, and had to be retrieved. Or rather one ball did.
The other one, slipped off to the side and fell snugly into the kids hip joint.
Only to be completely SMASHED apart when the hip was relocated.
TLDR:
Kid takes huge hit in football game, dislocates hip and knocks testes into body. One travels to the hip joint somehow, and is crushed when someone relocated (un-dislocated?) his hip. Now he has one ball.
That's... that's not so much with the strange and embarrassing. More like utterly horrible.
I was talking with a friend about weight lifting, and this other girl who is in my classes. She just added me to msn and we hadn't talked much so were just have a very general conversation...you know, how was your day shit like that.
Anyway I'm going back and forth between conversations and my friend are making joke gay comments on sweaty body building...so I say something like "I'm pretty hard right now, from our work out how are you doing"
Unfortuantly I sent it to the girl and not my friend....she quickly logged off...
Anyways next day in class I explain I didn't mean to send it to her and it was just joking between me and a friend.
So during class we have a mulitple choice test and you need to pencil to fill in the special card thing...well she needs a pencil. I pull one out of my backback pocket but unfortuantly I guess I had condoms in that pocket and one flings out and hits her in the head...omg I almost died...didn't say a word for the rest of the day
EDIT: FUCK THAT FOOTBALL STORY...my testicles hurt from reading that
As I was driving yesterday afternoon, a bicyclist decided to dart across six lanes of traffic to catch a bus on the opposite side of the street. In the middle of these six lanes is a thin, raised median. This guy tried to hop his bike over said median... however he popped his front wheel up too early and so it came back down in time to hit the side of the median and throw the guy face first into my lane. If I hadn't seen the guy coming across the other side of the road, I would have fucking killed him. Fortunately for him, I saw him coming beforehand and slowed down, stopping maybe 15 feet from him. At this point all three lanes were stopped, and the somehow unhurt cyclist picked up his bike and his thrown bottle of Mountain Dew and managed to catch his bus. I can only imagine the look he must have gotten from that bus driver.
Reading about the mute button on the phone made me think of a story when I worked as tech support.
I worked as tech support for Dish Network right after I got out of college. It was a pretty shitty job. Mostly because those who have satellite TV fall under two catergories, normal people who can't get cable or don't like cable and retarted fucking assholes who wear tin foil hats.
I was dealing with one of these tin foil hat bastards and got to the point they needed a service call. I go over the policy on how it cost money, thats policy, I can half the price and finally ok let me check with my supervisor to see if I can wave that one time as a courtersy. This is between me being called all sorts of names. So I put him on hold.
Now there was to settings on our phone, in que where we get calls and a kind of hold setting if we had to finish up something before the next call. Normally when you put someone on hold you put it on the hold setting and I forgot too.
So I am walking back with the authorization, and say to the guy next to me how much this guy was a fucking asshole who couldn't tell his cock from a pencil. So I pick up my headset and go back to my polite voice. Well the asshole had gotten disconnected and there was someone new on the line who heard my comment.
The guys response was, "Since I just got on the line I will take it the last customer was an asshole?" I just laughed and said I was sorry per procedure and agreed.
Posts
I mean, if he wasn't sure about her betraying him, what better way than having the name of the person engraved into her flesh to show that she cares more about the new guy than him?
"Man, that cat really moves!"
Good point on the tattoo... Those things tend to be a real boner killer... "who's Frank?" etc, etc...
Movie Collection
Foody Things
Holy shit! Sony's new techno toy!
Wii Friend code: 1445 3205 3057 5295
Didn't I just tell you to stop makin' up animals?
/loves me some redvsblue
so maybe thats what he was talking about.
PS this is the ugliest damn building ever.
Spoiler'd for huge
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with that thing.
It could be an Ashera.
I will have one. Someday.
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
Nope, it's real.
http://www.lifestylepets.com/ash.html
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
http://www.lifestylepets.com/gallery.html
Slightly improved.
Actually that's called bobtailing. Oh and a truck pulling a trailer that's empty is deadheading.
I never finish anyth
From that site: "...the temperament and affection of a regular domestic house cat."
Wow...let's count the things wrong with that.
22 to 33k for a fucking CAT!??!
Look some people have enough to burn money for the hell of it, ok
Controversy! They might be overpriced Savannah cats rebranded as "Ashera"
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/428735/the_ashera_cat_controversy.html
Now I don't know this girl that well, but I believe its important to note that she is constantly playing with tarot cards, divining crystals and other wiccan stuff. She was really into that and really kind of show-offy about it. Really annoying.
A week went by and this girl was crying pretty much constantly. Eventually, I'm filled in on what this girl is so insanely upset about.
Apparently her ex-fiancee is "sealing her powers." So she can't...I guess, cast spell anymore?
I was at a complete loss. I mean....really? o_O
STEAM
"Alternatively, buy this $200 magic stick. It's not working? He must be really strong then, buy another two."
STEAM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahahaha
oh man...
i am sad that you found that....
I don't see why not, they can make them glow in the dark already.
STEAM
"I gotta tell you, man, all I just head was "Fucking, fuck, fuck, fucking fucking fuck fuck, fuck."
"That was about the size of it, yeah. Sorry."
"No, it's cool, each one seemed to have it's own meaning and I kinda of understood what you meant."
Now I do a slightly better job at work (though unfortunately, there IS a mute button on our phones), especially new ones where I don't know people yet. This was not one of those occaisions. I don't remember the cause of this either, so we'll just say I stubbed my toe while I was near my new coworkers.
"Shiiiiiiiiii..."
.oO(Don't say shit, don't say shit, don't say shit, don't say shit)
"iiii ... MOTHERFUCKER."
There was a football game going on (highschool football, in Canada, not nearly as big a deal as in some parts of the States). So one kid gets just levelled by a hit, one of those so big it's hilarious hits.
Except he doesn't get up.
For a few minutes he's just laying there groaning, probably crying and holding his hip. The coach is certified with all sorts of med stuff and realizes the kids hip dislocated. The coach says he'll pop it back in, it'll hurt alot but hurt less after, the player nods his concent. Coach does his thing, pops the kids hip back in perfectly and the kid lets loose a blood curdling scream. Everyone's like "yeah that probably hurts"... and it doesn't stop. The medics are like "wtf" and stretcher him from the sidelines off to the ambulance, and then to the hospital.
The next day people get news from the coach what happened. Apparently the kid wasn't wearing a cup, and the hit ALSO knocked his balls up into his stomach, and had to be retrieved. Or rather one ball did.
The other one, slipped off to the side and fell snugly into the kids hip joint.
Only to be completely SMASHED apart when the hip was relocated.
TLDR:
Kid takes huge hit in football game, dislocates hip and knocks testes into body. One travels to the hip joint somehow, and is crushed when someone relocated (un-dislocated?) his hip. Now he has one ball.
That's... that's not so much with the strange and embarrassing. More like utterly horrible.
Plus, I think it's real strange. I didn't know a testicle could travel that far off to one side.
I was talking with a friend about weight lifting, and this other girl who is in my classes. She just added me to msn and we hadn't talked much so were just have a very general conversation...you know, how was your day shit like that.
Anyway I'm going back and forth between conversations and my friend are making joke gay comments on sweaty body building...so I say something like "I'm pretty hard right now, from our work out
Unfortuantly I sent it to the girl and not my friend....she quickly logged off...
Anyways next day in class I explain I didn't mean to send it to her and it was just joking between me and a friend.
So during class we have a mulitple choice test and you need to pencil to fill in the special card thing...well she needs a pencil. I pull one out of my backback pocket but unfortuantly I guess I had condoms in that pocket and one flings out and hits her in the head...omg I almost died...didn't say a word for the rest of the day
EDIT: FUCK THAT FOOTBALL STORY...my testicles hurt from reading that
I worked as tech support for Dish Network right after I got out of college. It was a pretty shitty job. Mostly because those who have satellite TV fall under two catergories, normal people who can't get cable or don't like cable and retarted fucking assholes who wear tin foil hats.
I was dealing with one of these tin foil hat bastards and got to the point they needed a service call. I go over the policy on how it cost money, thats policy, I can half the price and finally ok let me check with my supervisor to see if I can wave that one time as a courtersy. This is between me being called all sorts of names. So I put him on hold.
Now there was to settings on our phone, in que where we get calls and a kind of hold setting if we had to finish up something before the next call. Normally when you put someone on hold you put it on the hold setting and I forgot too.
So I am walking back with the authorization, and say to the guy next to me how much this guy was a fucking asshole who couldn't tell his cock from a pencil. So I pick up my headset and go back to my polite voice. Well the asshole had gotten disconnected and there was someone new on the line who heard my comment.
The guys response was, "Since I just got on the line I will take it the last customer was an asshole?" I just laughed and said I was sorry per procedure and agreed.
Yeah, pretty embarrasing but that job was crap.
I don't care if it's fake or real. I can imagine it, and that's enough.