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How does one make a move? [G-thread]
Toldo
But actually,WeegianRegistered User regular
But actually,WeegianRegistered User regular
Gents,
I find myself in an unusual predicament. Following a 3 hour long heart-to-heart conversation, a girl somehow realizes she has a huge crush on me. Out of this springs a very odd relationship, if I can call it that. We usually repeat these talks every night (though dramatically shorter ones), and while we're very open about the fact that we both like each other, we're having a hard time moving anywhere beyond that.
I'm a relationship retard, "fresh" out of a four month train wreck that ended last May. She's a seasoned veteran of sorts, and is pushing for me to be the instigator of whatever comes next. This sounds easy enough, especially since she has told me she would say yes if I did do something.
H&A, how do I do this?
I find myself in an unusual predicament. Following a 3 hour long heart-to-heart conversation, a girl somehow realizes she has a huge crush on me. Out of this springs a very odd relationship, if I can call it that. We usually repeat these talks every night (though dramatically shorter ones), and while we're very open about the fact that we both like each other, we're having a hard time moving anywhere beyond that.
I'm a relationship retard, "fresh" out of a four month train wreck that ended last May. She's a seasoned veteran of sorts, and is pushing for me to be the instigator of whatever comes next. This sounds easy enough, especially since she has told me she would say yes if I did do something.
H&A, how do I do this?
Toldo on
0
Posts
if that is just totally impossible, ask her "hey do you want to go to dinner sometime" and then pull that move at the end
Girl likes you. You like girl. She is going to say yes. What is the problem here?
I know, right?
But, seriously, trust me. Don't go into things with a plan, because then when anything doesn't go according to the way you set it up in your head you'll bail. Just say "this conversation I am going to ask her out", and do not let her leave until you have done so.
It's hard to take the plunge, especially the first few times, but when you resurface with a treasure you'll beat yourself up for not doing so earlier. It's hard for everyone, not just you - just man up, and it'll get easier.
Also, consider lubricating things with a stiff drink or two for each of you.
Making a move can be as simple as leaning in. It sounds like you're afraid of being awkward when you do so. Don't be. Not every guy can be as slick as James Bond when he operates. She likes you. She won't care if you're a little awkward. She'll probably like it. She just wants you to do something. So stop wasting time.
Listen to the lady.
My last girlfriend was a long term friend (about a decade). We started watching dvds on her couch every night for a week, each night getting a little closer to each other. Made things alot more relaxing and took all the weirdness out of it.
Okay, that got a bit awkward at the end there, but my point stands.
This. 100% this. If you're having trouble with this, do it a bit differently: ask her. "Can I kiss you?"
At that point, the next step is easy.
Surely just leaning in and letting the chemistry take hold would be a lot nicer and romantic than being all awkward and asking to kiss her.
Unless you go about it in a really cool, quirky shakespearian manner.
You could always try it in a sort of "Well, I guess that's my cue to kiss you" type way and then just go for it.
This.
do not ask her.
I tried this strategy tonight. I think my main problem is that I need to grow a pair and just do it.
Try this
Edit, And just in case you thought I meant get a row boat, a lagoon, and a talking crab, I didn't. I just meant you need to sack up and kiss her. Don't ask. Don't be coy. The next time she walks in your room close the door grab her around the waist and kiss her.
Also don't be nervous and sweaty and awkward. You are man MEN KISS GIRLS its what we do. Somewhere in your body james bond is dying to get out and smooch this girl. Let him.
This! This sounds totally like me. In fact, that's almost exactly how it went down for me.
I wish I could make my sig be this entire post.
I don't get this at all.
I'm not suggesting, "My dear lady, it would do me a great honor if you would..." nonono.
Nor am I suggesting a high-pitched, cracking, "C-c-can I k-k-kiss..." nuh-uh.
I am suggesting a simple, straightforward, deep-and-smooth question. A question for which there is, in this situation, only one answer. A question that will have her heart skip a beat and quicken her breathing before a single physical move is made. While also boosting the askers confidence and removing any chance that he won't have the balls to do it.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
If there can only be one answer, then there's no reason to ask the question. My first girlfriend kissed me for the first time without asking, and it was absolutely electric. Every girl I've kissed since then, I haven't asked and I've never been disappointed with the experience.
Don't repeat my mistake!
I think we've all done that, several times. I agree with the majority here. Kiss her.
STOP SLACKING!!! SMOOCH!
also if you have smooched well post your victory for all to see!
When the talking died down about twenty minutes later, I brought that up and put my arm around her, and then the rest is history.
Show her you want it dude, take her off your feet. Maybe you'll surprise her. They say that the first kiss tells you everything about the man. Well, it can tell her if you're a pussy or not, and going up and kissing her will show her you are confident about you two, especially with how close you guys are. So be smooth, and be gracious. Be a man.
T-Nation blog
You mind if i borrow this for use at a later date?
T-Nation blog
I also vote for the "man the fuck up" option, as it's what I should've done in my own situation a while ago, but didn't.
Toldo, don't let yourself fall into the group on the right, and Cyrvos, I'm sorry that you did.
Also, it can be nice to have a contingency plan, just in case something happens that might shatter your confidence. If, for example, something catches her eye and she turns away just as you're about to lean in, just grab her chin (you know, gently, like they do in movies and stuff) and guide her back around to face you. Do not stop moving in! Once you start, it's the point of no return, no matter what. Even if she spills scalding coffee in your lap. Kiss her, then seek medical attention.
Thanks. The situation is now confusing, complicated and regrettable in so many ways.
So Toldo, if you ever want to hear a vaguely depressing and somewhat complicated story, PM me!
Also, this.
Maybe next time, when you have both declared your affection for each other, offer her a hug. Thats a much more intimate position for a kiss to occur naturally.
The first kiss is different for everyone. My tactic, make eye contact, smile, then with one finger, brush her hair away from her face, behind her ear, then run your hand from behind her ear, down her cheek to her chin, tild gently upward, resume eye contact... you know the rest.
I should also add, that I (#)th for not asking. I've had a girl ask me before but the situation called for it, well not really but I will say when she asked it was pretty sweet and basically made my heart race.
Anyways, don't ask. Just do.
At this point its been days. You call her up. you say I have something awesome to show you get over here omg! when she walks in the door POW SMOOCH!!!
seriously.
I am watching that right now, and I would like to advise you that you may want a lighter movie to attempt this.