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So it looks like I'm gonna be a Father.

thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
edited November 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
HA! Today my wife and I found out that she's pregnant. This is exciting, but I realized I don't know much about these things...so I have a few questions for any veteran parents out there.

A. People (women mostly) keep cooing, AWWW A Summer Baby, in a way that seems to imply that there is more to this than the obvious. Are there some some connotations about babies being born at certain times of the year, or is this just something stupid that people say?

B. I suppose that there are things I will need to budget for to prep for this. Like, rattles, or something. We've got pretty good insurance so the health side is pretty much covered.

C. Um, anything else I should know?

#someshit
thisisntwally on
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    leafleaf Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    C. Prepare yourself for the unspeakable horror which is diaper changing.

    Though I'm not experienced at all with any kids of my own, that's pretty much the biggest thing I'd have to psych myself up for.

    leaf on
    newsig-notweed.jpg
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    HalfmexHalfmex I mock your value system You also appear foolish in the eyes of othersRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    First, congratulations. If this is a welcome, wanted pregnancy (as it appears to be), huge congrats to you and the wife.

    As for the rest:

    A. No idea on the Summer Baby thing. I guess it implies you were humping in the fall, but beyond that, no idea.

    B. Things to budget for:

    -Diapers (you'll get lots of these if you have a baby shower, but they go FAST, a lot faster than you might expect. Think 6-8 diapers per day to start (if I remember correctly from our little one)
    -Formula if your wife can't/chooses not to breast feed. That, also, will go very quickly, so you'll need to stock up.
    -Diaper rash cream
    -Clothing
    -Swaddling blankets
    -A bassinet and/or crib
    -Receiving blankets (which will often be 'receiving' your baby's spit up. If you like your shirts to not have baby puke stains on the shoulders, these are a must-have).
    -Ear thermometer (any thermometer will work, but the ear thermometers give fast, accurate readings and and don't require a lot of cooperation from the little one).
    -If your wife does breastfeed, she'll need a breast pump
    -Bottles/nipples for those bottles
    -Some toys, though your newborn will be sleeping quite a bit, most likely
    -Probably a ton of other important things that I'm forgetting at the moment

    C. Anything else to know? Well, let's see: Get ready for your life to change drastically. And I mean, even though you have heard it from everyone already and you think "eh, we can make it work with little impact to our social lives", no you can't. You are at the little one's beck and call. Kids are the greatest and at the same time the most difficult thing that will ever happen to most people. They are also a constant source of love, frustration, entertainment and confusion. Usually simultaneously.

    Oh yeah, and if you enjoy sleeping in now, enjoy it while it lasts, because it won't last much longer.

    Halfmex on
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    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I'm not so concerned about the diaper thing. I had a much younger sister and pretty much remember how terrible that is.

    Ear thermometer! I forgot about those. Pretty awesome little gadget as I recall.

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    A.) The latter

    B.) Dude, you have no idea just how much shit you'll need for a baby. You'll need to factor in any doctor's fees (above what health insurance pays, we had to pay $1000 60 days before the delivery), and any time off of work (my wife took a month off and doesn't get vacation, so we had to budget $3500 for that.

    For the baby, you'll need/want diapers (a shit load of diapers), wipes, rash creme, vaseline and gauze if it's a boy and you're circumsizing, alcohol wipes for the cord stump, formula (if you're not going all breastmilk, sometimes you don't have a choice, and you'll need a lot of formula), bottles, nipples, drop-ins, shampoo, soap, clothes, mittens, booties, hats, burp cloths, swadling blankets, wash cloths, towels, bibs, a bassinet, a crib, a dresser, a changing pad, a swing, a bouncy seat, a high chair, pacifiers, a mobile, a bathtub, a car seat, stroller, car seat base, a monitor, diaper bag.... That's about all I can think of at the moment.

    Of course, not all of this is necessary, but it's all stuff you'll probably want.

    C.) Sleep. Get used to not having it. I know it's cliched, but goddamn am I tired. 4-5 hours a night is pretty average so far. If you're going the formula route, you have to feed them every 3-4 hours (we have to do every 3). Breastmilk is 2-3. None of this, "My baby is so good, he slept 6 hours last night!" That comes later. In the beginning you have to wake them up and feed them/change them. Sometimes they'll cry for seemingly no reason when all you want is to pass out. Don't shake them, though. If they're gassy, raising their legs in the air can help.

    Swadling is very important for your sanity. The nurses should show you how to do it. You'll want to use 2 blankets. It serves two purposes. One, it keeps them tightly bound, which reminds them of the womb and comforts them. Two, it keeps them warm. The womb is something like 200 degrees, so they'll get cold easily for a while.

    You'll want mittens or onesies with mittens built in to keep them from scratching themselves. They have poor motor skills in the beginning.

    Um, that's enough for now. I'm sure I'll think of more, but I'm kind of hallucenating right now from exhaustion. Congrats, by the way, and good luck.

    Sir Carcass on
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    EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Depending on when she's due, summer babies can be nice (less worry about baby being cold) or hell (a very pregnant woman dealing with 90F heat).

    I'm not a parent, but I'm getting to an age where everyone around me is. For your sanity, it's probably best if you and your wife sit down and decide some of the big common questions now, namely -- breastfeed or no? Midwife? Where's it going to be born? Are you going to find out the gender? If religious, godparent?

    New clothes or hand-me-down? Birthing classes?

    EggyToast on
    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Burp clothes are pointless, they are much to small. Buy the larger receiving blankets. You will not only use them to swaddle the baby (learn how to do this, its so very cool how well it works on infants) but to also clean up spit/vomit. It will even cover more of your back when you are burping them.

    Why would you buy a small bottle? Your baby will at some point graduate to 8-10oz per bottle feeding, thus making all those 4-oz bottles pointless.

    If you want a swing, buy one that can plug into the wall. No need to kill a hundred batteries.

    Get a diaper trash can that uses normal trash bags. We got a Diaper Genie for her shower and now we are stuck using their proprietary rings. It works great, but we're talking about convince and savings here.

    Publix, a food chain down here, has a baby club. They give you awesome coupons every now and then. find out what your grocery store has. We were able to sign up for formula coupons at her gyno.

    Lamaz didn't help mine calm down at all, but we learned alot about what is actually happening during labor as well as learning alot about child care. Our hospital also offered baby care classes that we took advantage of. One was very good, one was shitty. Either way it was worth it.

    Get a registry at Target/Babies R Us. Hopefully people will know to get you the things that you pick out, not just "oh they want a diaper holder, so I'm going to get this one!"

    Don't worry about getting a full crib set. It isn't safe to use a bumper, you aren't supposed to use blankets for a while, and they cost sooooo goddamn much for so much useless stuff.

    You/She will be tempted to buy things that you think you will need. Unless you live 50 miles from your nearest super store, it's a waste. You are going to wind up buying stuff you have no use for. Obviously some stuff you can assume you will need. A baby monitor for instance is great if you don't live in a very small place. A boppy though (special pillow) may go unused if breast feeding doesn't work, or if a pillow works just as well.

    You will use baby wipes everywhere for everything.

    I've been tracking every dollar we spend since august. My son though ages 7mo-9mo is eating ~$190 a month. Now, he eats a lot. A lot, a lot. As for what we call baby stuff, a combination of needed toys (developmental type stuff), wash products, diapers, wipes, etc, we are spending ~$200 a month. All of this might seem like alot, but figure one can of formula is ~$25. Target sells the Enfamil cans with 20% more formula, so we often buy more than one at a time. You also need baby water to make the bottles. All of this is of course out the window if she breastfeeds, but she will stop at some point, and sometimes breast feeding doesn't always work.

    We have a Graco play yard/portacrib. We have a two level house so having something like that downstairs is great. We also have a high chair and stroller from them. All very good products and it isn't a very expensive line.

    Here is the good news. Babies sleep like, 20 hours a day at first. The eat, poop, and sleep.

    Get a Flickr account for extended family.

    Consider using a blood cord bank. We went with Viacord.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    DjeetDjeet Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    First, congratulations! You're in for a wild ride.

    A. We've a summer baby. I don't know what it says other than we got busy at least once the previous fall. What it means is we didn't need any cooler weather clothing sized 0-3 months, also baby got some outside time while he was super tiny.

    B. Have baby shower(s) (wait til she's 4 months*), bonus if you have lots of friends, extra points if they have children. This way you score baby things (mainly clothes, but some will get you things that you need that baby won't grow out of in 2 months). Then talk to your friends and colleages, if they are done having babies they may have stuff they'd donate. Also craigslist is good place to find baby things and avoiding the extortionate rate you'll pay for them new.

    C. Consider how you're going to have the baby. Natural childbirth? If so you'll want to go to classes. Sort out paternity/maternity leave. Buggers grow fast and everyone wants to see pictures/video, maybe you want a camcorder? Get her on DHA/EFA and a pregnancy multivitamin with folic acid/folate now. Like buy it right now and stress to her that she needs to take it everyday. If she's been reducing her exposure to grains and cereal (atkins or lo-carb) she expecially needs folate for proper development of baby.

    *Uncomfortable things follow.
    Most miscarriages occur in the first trimester. She should take it easy (avoid horseback riding and inversions).

    Djeet on
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    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    there go the htpc and flatscreen 8-)

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Oh, yesyesyes. Be aware of the area you live in and what the weather will be like.
    Our son, like I said, is big. We not only went through clothes fast, but he even skipped some sizes. You don't need to go crazy on clothes.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Diapers aren't that bad so far. It was one of the things I was dreading, but is one of the least issues for me so far. It's weird, but it's not like, "Ugh, I'm wiping shit from this thing's ass, gross". You know how if you're wiping your ass and you get a little shit on your hand, you say, "dammit", wipe it off, wash your hands, and go about your day? It's kind of like that. It stinks, but unless you have a really weak stomach, you probably won't be gagging or anything.

    If you have a boy, the biggest issue is them peeing everywhere. Sometimes when they're exposed to air, it has the warm water effect. Just keep a washcloth over it while you're cleaning them and it's not too bad.

    DIAPER GENIE. Get one of these, they're the greatest invention known to man. You just put a dirty diaper in there and forget about it. You won't smell it. We have one in our bedroom. When it's full, it's super easy to empty. They're about $25.

    Sir Carcass on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Don't be fooled into thinking you need a Wee-Block for a boy.
    wee-block.jpg
    They are cute, and they absorb pee really well. Unfortunately babies squirm and this thing won't stay on. Use washcloths for pee protection.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Be prepared to wash your hands a lot. Because of that, be prepared for them to feel like gravel. Lotion is your friend.

    Sir Carcass on
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    UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    My cousin just welcomed his baby girl into the world in September. Speaking to him a few weeks ago, he said "Last night, she slept so well. I managed to sleep for a full hour and a half!" He seemed really happy about it. Yeah so... you better ready yourself for losing sleep cuz it's gonna happen.

    Underdog on
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    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    man oh man. the wee block is hilarious.

    Any ideas about cloth diapers? We're kinda on the hippie end of the spectrum. I know there are services to pick up and clean them...

    Also the Dr. said she had a healthy diet and didn't need prenatal vitamins, that a multivitamin would work. whats the difference? Folate? Whats that?

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
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    taerictaeric Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Wow, I get to leach off of this thread, as well!!

    Congrats on your news. When are you due? (Ours will be July.)

    Any good advice on keeping a pregnant wife happy/comfortable?

    taeric on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Underdog wrote: »
    My cousin just welcomed his baby girl into the world in September. Speaking to him a few weeks ago, he said "Last night, she slept so well. I managed to sleep for a full hour and a half!" He seemed really happy about it. Yeah so... you better ready yourself for losing sleep cuz it's gonna happen.

    This really can't be overstated. I thought, "Yeah, I'll be tired, heh", but it sucks. Taking turns with your significant other can really help.

    Sir Carcass on
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    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Congrats to you too! It looks like August!

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    man oh man. the wee block is hilarious.

    Any ideas about cloth diapers? We're kinda on the hippie end of the spectrum. I know there are services to pick up and clean them...

    Also the Dr. said she had a healthy diet and didn't need prenatal vitamins, that a multivitamin would work. whats the difference? Folate? Whats that?

    I would still probably take prenatal vitamins, as well as folic acid. Better safe than sorry.

    It's up to you about cloth diapers, really. I know disposable are super convenient and when you're waking up at 3am after an hour of sleep, convenience is like heaven.

    Sir Carcass on
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    DjeetDjeet Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Diapers really aren't that big a deal, mine's not on solid food yet so it'll get worse I guess. For the time they're on liquid food it's not a big deal, picking up after the dog is worse.

    We're doing cloth diapers though, so I guess the gross-factor is heavily dependent upon the individual.

    You will get spat up/vomitted on, as well as peed on, and possibly pooped on. Get used to smelling like sour milk. When you pack a diaper bag, pack an extra shirt for yourself.

    I spose it depends on how active a father you are, if you're taking a back seat to mom make sure to help her out as much as you can. This means when she's hit the wall exhaustion-wise it's time for you to step up and take one for the team. She may become more emotionally labile (she may not), be patient, lotta hormones, lotta changes.

    Djeet on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Some things you may want to consider as health risks for a pregnant woman:

    Avoid changing cat litter
    Avoid caffeine
    Avoid deli meat/hotdogs
    Avoid smoking/drinking/drugs (obviously)

    The first and last are pretty much a given. Caffeine and deli meat/hotdogs is really up to her, but there are studies that show both can cause problems with the developing fetus, so we went with "better safe than sorry".

    Sir Carcass on
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    taerictaeric Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Yeah, right now she is having a single third cup of coffee a day. (Mainly to try and stem the headaches.)

    She has a huge list of things she can and can not do. Stuff like avoiding a lot of soft cheeses, not fully cooked eggs, etc. I trust her to know those rules and let me know what I should know.

    Ones I am not too good at so far is knowing when to have food for her. I realize she needs a lot more now than she needed, but it is seeming like the need is very short notice. Any good ideas for foods to keep around the house she can eat that are not horrible for her? What about ways to get her motivated to stay somewhat active? (She has been pretty devestated motivationally lately.)

    taeric on
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    DjeetDjeet Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Any ideas about cloth diapers? We're kinda on the hippie end of the spectrum. I know there are services to pick up and clean them...

    Also the Dr. said she had a healthy diet and didn't need prenatal vitamins, that a multivitamin would work. whats the difference? Folate? Whats that?

    I knows about the cloth diapers. You want the type that are "one-size" or adjustable so you can continue to use them till they're toddlers. Honestly when baby's a newborn you'll want to do disposeable because they're so tiny that you'll need to buy newborn cloth diapers (which they'll grow out of in 10 minutes). And we still have disposeables on hand for occaisional use (mainly when he's being looked after by someone else, or when we take him in out in public, though only sometimes). And when they're newborns they pee/crap every 2 hours so you'll be constantly cleaning them unless you start off with disposeables. The best disposeable diapers were the ones the hospital gave us (steal as many as you can), they had a colored indicator that would go blue when wet.

    If you're doing it for cost, having a service pick up and clean kills the economics. Also if they are rentals, they are likely not "diapers", but cloths that you fold and use a strappy thing to attach (these are rubbish, I changed 2 of them before I was like fuck this, I'm dropping $20-25 per for some engineered diapers). We got enough to do a day to a day and a half of changes before needing to wash them (12). You need special detergents or the absorbency of them is affected. There are natural fiber ones that are hypo-allergenic, and there are microfiber ones that have better wicking ability, and you can put in inserts for more absorbency. Our baby has sensitive skin, but the microfiber ones worked and they seem superior in keeping him dry. If baby has skin reaction to microfiber you'll want the hemp ones. All this info will be available to you wherever you purchase the diapers.


    Edit: Folate/Folic acid is highly important for the nueral development of the child. Wikipedia tells me that something like 70% of the incidence of nueral tube defect could have been averted with folic acid being taken during pregnancy. Baby will take folic acid/folate from mother during pregnancy if she's not eating enough of it, which may lead to depression in mommy.

    Edit2: There's are disposeables that are more hippy-friendly; I know seventh generation makes some and there are probably other brands as well.

    Djeet on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Prenatals with Folic Acid will help with morning (and all the time) sickness.
    Walking and prenatal yoga is pretty good for pregnant women.
    Put the car seat in th car before you go to the hospital. Practice putting a teddy bear in there so you know how it works.

    As for keeping her happy and comfortable?
    You won't.
    Especially since she will be pregnant during the summer. Yech. Just do as much as she asks, and as much as you can think of.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    OhioOhio Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I'll tell you why a summer baby might be beneficial. I've got a daughter who turns three tomorrow. So she was born in November. This means that when she was born, it was getting dark at 5:30. And it was like that for the first three months of her life. So for those three months, it was dark and cold every day. We were trapped inside.

    Being trapped inside with a newborn isn't fun. They cry a lot, you're tired a lot. I think that having a new baby in the summer, you won't feel so trapped and isolated. I'm not going to lie to you, the first three months are just kind of miserable. You will work your ass off and you will get absolutely no positive feedback or pleasure from it.

    Now, after about three months things settled down a lot. Eventually your kid will start sleeping so much and you'll be able to do things you enjoy again. By the time she was 4-5 months old, my daughter was going to bed at 7 every night and not waking up until 7 the next morning. It'll be 7:00 in the evening and you'll think to yourself, "Wow I've actually got some free time here." And at the point, you won't even remember the bad nights anymore. It goes fast.

    Don't get me wrong, having a kid is fun. Just not for the first three months. During that time, do not attempt a social life, especially with your friends who don't have kids. They won't understand what you're going through, and you'll just be frustrated.

    As for supplies, you need three basic things: diapers, wipes, and outfits. You will use a ton of all three. You'll be amazed at how many outfits you'll go through in one day. The fourth thing you need is a food source but that's dependent on how you're going to feed the baby.

    Ohio on
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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Although you probably can't open it until the kid is actually born, it's never too early to start thinking about/budgeting for a college fund.

    Congratulations!

    KalTorak on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Most fire departments will inspect your car seat to make sure it's installed correctly. You'll definitely want it installed before you go to the hospital.

    My wife actually ate less while pregnant than before. She had less of an appetite and was nauseous all of the time, but the baby was fine. She's not "eating for two", so normal diet should suffice. Your OB can provide more info.

    Sir Carcass on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Babies R Us, possibly Target I may be getting them confused, sells a pack of 10 bibs for 10 bucks.
    Not only is this a great price, but they are a good size and velcro connect in the back. Some bibs velcro connect on the side and they are much too easy to pull off.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    awesome responses. Thanks! You guys Rule!

    also, I read a study that said summer babies ran a greater risk of myopia. Taking my wife and I's eyesight into account, its not so much a risk as a given though...

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    My wife was pregnant from February to October, and I can tell you Texas summer pregnancies suck. Ohio shouldn't be a big deal, though.

    Also, I would try and wait until 12 weeks before telling everyone. Like mentioned, miscarriage is an all too real possibility, and it's much harder if you have to tell everyone about it when they ask how the pregnancy is going. 9 weeks can be okay, but at 12 weeks is when the risk of miscarriage drops significantly. You can probably tell family and really close friends right away. The rule of thumb here is if you would want them knowing you had a miscarriage, you can tell them whenever you want.

    Also, around 30 weeks you may want to look into a 4D ultrasound, if there's a place in your area that does them. Ours was about $120 and was really cool, but it's by no means necessary. Your doctor would have to sign a form saying they allow you to do it. There's no risk from them, though.

    Sir Carcass on
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    DjeetDjeet Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    taeric wrote: »
    Yeah, right now she is having a single third cup of coffee a day. (Mainly to try and stem the headaches.)
    ...
    Any good ideas for foods to keep around the house she can eat that are not horrible for her? What about ways to get her motivated to stay somewhat active? (She has been pretty devestated motivationally lately.)

    Talk to the doctor, but ours said 1-1.5 units of caffeine per day was OK. 3 units and she might be peeing out important stuff (like the multivitamin) in addition to affecting baby's heart rate.

    The food cravings are irrational, my vegetarian wife regularly wanted burgers and BBQ, it was heaven. For us the bad symptoms were worst in the first trimester, after that she says it wasn't so bad.

    Don't get me wrong, having a kid is fun. Just not for the first three months. During that time, do not attempt a social life

    Maybe we just have cool friends or a cool baby but I've had a different experience, and we're taking every opportunity we can to go out with baby before he becomes self-mobile. Baby is also an awesome accessory, most people like babies and want to see and play with baby.
    Most fire departments will inspect your car seat to make sure it's installed correctly.

    When I took my car to the fire dept. they said they were forbidden to advise on this due to liability issues. Since firemen are cool they helped me out anyways. I had 4 firemen strapping down my car seat base. The main things is get it down tight, like kneel on the base so you can take out more slack.

    Djeet on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Djeet wrote: »
    For us the bad symptoms were worst in the first trimester, after that she says it wasn't so bad.

    It will be different for everyone. My wife was pretty much nauseous all the time for at least the first 2 trimesters. Their sense of smell is heightened, and just smelling food in an aisle at the grocery store could set her off.

    Speaking of the grocery store, if she has a c-section (like my wife did), be prepared to do all of the shopping for a while. Ugh.

    Sir Carcass on
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    DenadaDenada Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    taeric wrote: »
    Yeah, right now she is having a single third cup of coffee a day. (Mainly to try and stem the headaches.)

    She has a huge list of things she can and can not do. Stuff like avoiding a lot of soft cheeses, not fully cooked eggs, etc. I trust her to know those rules and let me know what I should know.

    Ones I am not too good at so far is knowing when to have food for her. I realize she needs a lot more now than she needed, but it is seeming like the need is very short notice. Any good ideas for foods to keep around the house she can eat that are not horrible for her? What about ways to get her motivated to stay somewhat active? (She has been pretty devestated motivationally lately.)

    Actually, she doesn't need that much more food during pregnancy. Just a few hundred calories a day, which isn't much at all. As far as pre-planning food, don't put too much effort into it. Her tastes will change frequently. One night my wife called me to pick up some strawberry ice cream. Ten minutes later she called me and said nevermind. One week all she ate for lunch was bagels. The next week she couldn't stand the smell of them. For about 7 months she didn't like bread. Months 8 and 9 were sandwich-town.

    Basically, for your wife, the best thing you can do is be patient and do everything she asks you to do. Hormonal changes (it's a real thing) will ensure that you still have times of tension, but try not to take it personally. Just do your best and she will appreciate it.


    EDIT: Also, OP, Target generic diapers. They're ten cents a diaper (at least where I live) and work just fine. Saves a LOT of money in those early months. Comparatively, Pampers Swaddlers (also work well) are about 21 cents per.

    Denada on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    My wife pretty much only craved sweets. She'd want desserts all of the time.

    Sir Carcass on
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    DenadaDenada Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Oh that reminds me, be aware that there can be hormonal changes for you too. It's call couvade, or sympathy pregnancy, and it's a real thing. For me the changes were in appetite. Within a month of her pregnancy starting I was eating almost twice what I had been eating previously, and I was craving things constantly that I almost never craved before (things like waffles, which I don't even like that much). There are emotional changes too which can catch you off-guard. You may find yourself crying much more easily, or getting frustrated quicker, or just the opposite. Every father is different. Some don't experience it at all.

    Denada on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I went from always hating horseradish, to loving that shit.

    Edit: Oh, laundry detergent. You're going to need to use a special kind for baby clothes and items, and absolutely no fabric softener.

    Sir Carcass on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Obligatory picture:
    DSCF3063-resized.jpg

    He's 3 days old in this picture. He's like the most photogenic baby ever.

    Sir Carcass on
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    taerictaeric Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Djeet wrote: »
    taeric wrote: »
    Yeah, right now she is having a single third cup of coffee a day. (Mainly to try and stem the headaches.)
    ...
    Any good ideas for foods to keep around the house she can eat that are not horrible for her? What about ways to get her motivated to stay somewhat active? (She has been pretty devestated motivationally lately.)

    Talk to the doctor, but ours said 1-1.5 units of caffeine per day was OK. 3 units and she might be peeing out important stuff (like the multivitamin) in addition to affecting baby's heart rate.

    So... on rereading what I wrote, I see it looks like I said she is having three cups. I meant that she is having a single 1/3 cup. :) (She uses a ton of milk.)

    Which reminds me. We typically drink and use soy milk. Should she be switching during the pregnancy? (Note, neither of us are lactose intollerant.

    taeric on
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    HedgethornHedgethorn Associate Professor of Historical Hobby Horses In the Lions' DenRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Congratulations!

    Now, I don't mean to be a fear-monger, but I advise you (and every other future parent) to memorize the following list of symptoms:
    • Swelling (particularly in the face or hands)
    • Sudden weight gain
    • Headaches
    • Changes in vision

    Since you're having a summer pregnancy, your wife will probably have some minor swelling in her feet, which isn't anything to really worry about. But beyond that, if any of the above occur--especially if they appear suddenly--get the fuck down to your OB/GYN's office ASAP. Particularly if your wife suffers sudden weight gain and loss of vision. Those are warning signs for pre-eclampsia, which is among the most common pregnancy related disorders. It can be deadly if not caught in time.

    My wife was hit in the 22nd week. We lost our daughter, and for about 48 hours I wasn't sure my wife was going to make it.

    Hedgethorn on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Hedgethorn wrote: »
    Congratulations!

    Now, I don't mean to be a fear-monger, but I advise you (and every other future parent) to memorize the following list of symptoms:
    • Swelling
    • Sudden weight gain
    • Headaches
    • Changes in vision

    Since you're having a summer pregnancy, your wife will probably have some minor swelling in her feet, which isn't anything to really worry about. But beyond that, if any of the above occur--especially if they appear suddenly--get the fuck down to your OB/GYN's office ASAP. Particularly if your wife suffers sudden weight gain and loss of vision. Those are warning signs for pre-eclampsia, which is among the most common pregnancy related disorders. It can be deadly if not caught in time.

    My wife was hit in the 22nd week. We lost our daughter, and for about 48 hours I wasn't sure my was going to make it.

    Damn, sorry to hear that. My wife had high blood pressure before her pregnancy and for the whole thing was just under the limit for what they considered pre-eclampsia. Towards the end, they had her coming in for non-stress tests twice a week, and she had about 7 ultrasounds (oy, my wallet). They finally induced her at 37 weeks (technically full term) because they said her protein levels had finally hit the pre-eclampsia stage. Thankfully everything was okay. I've really been counting my blessings after all of the stories I've heard. Hell, she had an online friend that had a c-section the week after her and died from complications a week later.

    Not to scare anybody.... D:

    The best thing you can do is follow what your OB recommends for appointments. My wife also had kidney stones around week 32 until the end, with no medication. And a c-section with an intermittent epidural. She's crazy tough.

    Sir Carcass on
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    HedgethornHedgethorn Associate Professor of Historical Hobby Horses In the Lions' DenRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Towards the end, they had her coming in for non-stress tests twice a week, and she had about 7 ultrasounds (oy, my wallet).

    Heh. I know about that. We had 3 or 4 ultrasounds in the first 20 weeks because our doctors were worried about a few little things, and then we had another 3 in the 48 hours between when my wife was hospitalized and when they did the C-Section.

    But all that pales in comparison to the tests/procedures that they did on our daughter for the week she was alive. It's damn expensive to care for a premie-baby at 22 weeks. Thank God we had good insurance, or I'd be writing checks to the hospital until I retire.

    Hedgethorn on
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