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I may have lost a girl.

AK47sForEveryoneAK47sForEveryone Registered User regular
edited December 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
So I went on a trip to visit a friend of mine on the east coast last week. On the 5 hour plane trip back home to california I sat next to perhaps one of the most attractive girls i've ever met (she had a British accent too, which made her that much more attractive). She asked me about the book i was reading and we ended up talking for the entire 5 hour flight. The more we talked the more attracted I found myself. we ended up sharing my headphones to watch the flight movie. And when the flight was over i walked her to the baggage claim even though i hadnt checked any. Then as we were parting ways shes said "it'd be nice to see you around" and me being the insecure dumb-ass i am, said, "yeah i'll see you around" then I turned and walked away without getting a phone number or any kind of contact information.... I walked out by the pick up curb to wait for my ride then I thought "what the fuck am i thinking?" and I ran back to the baggage claim to try and find her to no avail. It was like a scene out of a movie, I didnt think things like this really happened... At any rate, I'm not normally a very quixotic or sentimental person, but I cant stop thinking about this girl. She goes to the santa barbara university that is like a 2 hour drive from where I live. Would that be totally creepy or weird of me to drive down there to try to find her? If you were in her situatiion would you be freaked out by someone going that far out of their way to find you? Thanks for any thoughts...

AK47sForEveryone on
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Posts

  • I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    if you know her name I'd say your best bet is to look her up on facebook or something like that

    you aren't driving 2 hours and hunting around campus so she isn't threated and it's a more socially relaxed environment there as well

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • metaghostmetaghost An intriguing odor A delicate touchRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Did you get a name at least?
    I mean, you know her university so it seems like it'd be feasible to suss out some contact info without driving two hours in a display of semi-creepy obsession.

    metaghost on
  • noir_bloodnoir_blood Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    creepy or weird of me to drive down there to try to find her? If you were in her situatiion would you be freaked out by someone going that far out of their way to find you? Thanks for any thoughts...

    Yes.

    Try facebook, myspace, and even google. You might have some luck there. Otherwise, just take this as a lesson and hope for another hot british accent girl to talk to you soon.

    noir_blood on
  • FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Depending on your location. Craigslist; Missed Connections.

    FF on
    Huh...
  • UnknownSaintUnknownSaint Kasyn Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I think at this point prospects are bleak. Going down there and tracking her down WOULD be kind of creepy. She hinted big time and you kind of just ignored it. Take it as an important lesson and don't let it happen again in the future, because these kinds of opportunities DO present themselves again.

    UnknownSaint on
  • AK47sForEveryoneAK47sForEveryone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Yeah I tried facebook and myspace etc. I know her first name but not her last name and i know some of the classes shes taking, but it's been rather discouraging. I gotta be more confident next time... I do have a friend who lives in that vicinity so i'd kind of have an excuse for being there and maybe not make it so creepy. Oh well, i'll continue my online search.

    AK47sForEveryone on
  • BerserkisBerserkis Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Dont drive down there to find her. That would be pretty creepy.

    If you cant find her on facebook or myspace whatever, consider it a lesson to ask next time you meet someone youre interested in!

    Berserkis on
  • hawkboxhawkbox Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Did you check under the seat? I lose women under there all the time.

    hawkbox on
  • NotYouNotYou Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    That exact same thing happened to me once. Except I got her number. And when I called a few days later it was really awkward for some reason.. And that was it.

    So, don't stress, things will happen or they won't. No need to worry about what ifs.

    NotYou on
  • noir_bloodnoir_blood Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Yeah I tried facebook and myspace etc. I know her first name but not her last name and i know some of the classes shes taking, but it's been rather discouraging. I gotta be more confident next time... I do have a friend who lives in that vicinity so i'd kind of have an excuse for being there and maybe not make it so creepy. Oh well, i'll continue my online search.

    Dude, it doesn't matter if she doesn't know its creepy, you'll know. I mean, I think lots of people have done this to a lesser extent..you know, show up to a store where someone you like works, etc. But you want to drive two hours, and just walk around a university till you manage to somehow come across her.

    That might work in the movies, but not real life.

    noir_blood on
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    FF wrote: »
    Depending on your location. Craigslist; Missed Connections.

    If ever there was a time, it is now.

    Be specific. Use her name, what flight, etc. Don't be that douche who just writes "hey, you were the cool girl I talked to on a flight the other day" because she'll never fucking know if it's for her.

    DO IT.

    tsmvengy on
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  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    NotYou wrote: »
    That exact same thing happened to me once. Except I got her number. And when I called a few days later it was really awkward for some reason.. And that was it.

    So, don't stress, things will happen or they won't. No need to worry about what ifs.

    This is very true. One of the things you'll start to pick up on after a while is that there are a lot of really cool, cute girls to meet. You goofed on this one. Take confidence from how well it went, and figure out what you screwed up this time, use it next time you meet a cool girl to actually get her number.

    Darkewolfe on
    What is this I don't even.
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    If you showed up at her college, it would be obvious that you went there to find her. And yes, it would be quite creepy.

    Kyougu on
  • Anon the FelonAnon the Felon In bat country.Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    You know, I kind of agree it could be viewed as creepy, but the other point of view is she might see it as endearing, I mean she could see it as you taking a MASSIVE initiative to pursue things.

    Yes it could go poorly, and yes you could earn a reputation as a stalker within your group of friends once they find out, but there is also the chance you show up, find her and she smiles and says something to the effect of "I'm glad you found me".

    Look, people on here all the time say "man up" or "get some courage" this is the perfect time for that kind of thing. The worst case is she laughs at you and tells all her friends your a weird-o, best case is something comes of it. If you feel passionately enough to even think about going to those lengths to find her, DO IT. If your scared, thats the same thing that stopped you from getting contact info on the spot.

    People will disagree, and think I am way off base here...but I did a similar thing: I met this girl in a coffee shop, had the best conversation of my life with her but didn't have the balls to find ask for her number. A few days later I was so wracked with confusion and wanting to know what would happen that I tracked her down, drove upstate to her uni and found her in the student union...we went out for a few months over the summer but broke it off once she had to go back to school (and we still talk pretty frequently). Yes it was mildly awkward when I walked up to her, but I just wore a smile and tried hard to be confident. It worked.

    It may not work for you, but nothing BAD can come from it, you said you have friends in the area, you go try and say hi, then either go grab a drink with her, or meet up with your buddies and have a laugh. It would be quite creepy, but if you want something to happen, you can't just sit on your haunches hoping you get an e-mail off craigslist.

    Anon the Felon on
  • GahmriousGahmrious Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I like the story. Too bad you fucked up and let her get away. I say you drive down there and find her. Fuck the whole "creepy" thing. This could be the woman you're fucking for the rest of your life.

    Plus, she has a british accent. Go for it.

    Gahmrious on
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    If you do go through with this, you're going to have to go up to her with some fucking confidence. That's the only way it would remotely work. Even then, I still think it would come off as creepy.

    Kyougu on
  • Anon the FelonAnon the Felon In bat country.Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Kyougu wrote: »
    If you do go through with this, you're going to have to go up to her with some fucking confidence. That's the only way it would remotely work. Even then, I still think it would come off as creepy.

    Sorry to double dip so quickly but I have to correct this: Kyougu is TOTALLY correct. You have to walk up to her and fucking own it, no "Hi there...." you have to walk up and launch into it.

    Sorry, I forgot to include that in my first post. Gotta act like no time has passed and your not trying to stalk her, act like she invited you to where ever she was. Not to the extent of imposing, but you sure as hell can't stand there tap her on the shoulder, blush, and nervously say "Hi".

    Anon the Felon on
  • GahmriousGahmrious Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Just refer to cheesey teen films where the guy finds the girl, and makes some huge entrance. Otherwise you'll fail.

    Gahmrious on
  • AK47sForEveryoneAK47sForEveryone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    noir_blood wrote: »
    Yeah I tried facebook and myspace etc. I know her first name but not her last name and i know some of the classes shes taking, but it's been rather discouraging. I gotta be more confident next time... I do have a friend who lives in that vicinity so i'd kind of have an excuse for being there and maybe not make it so creepy. Oh well, i'll continue my online search.

    Dude, it doesn't matter if she doesn't know its creepy, you'll know. I mean, I think lots of people have done this to a lesser extent..you know, show up to a store where someone you like works, etc. But you want to drive two hours, and just walk around a university till you manage to somehow come across her.

    That might work in the movies, but not real life.

    Not that I'm trying to convince anyone that its NOT creepy, but she has a first name that's not too common so I figured I might be able to discreetly find out where she is from what class she's taking... I'm not saying that's what I'm going to do... I'm just saying...

    AK47sForEveryone on
  • I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    noir_blood wrote: »
    Yeah I tried facebook and myspace etc. I know her first name but not her last name and i know some of the classes shes taking, but it's been rather discouraging. I gotta be more confident next time... I do have a friend who lives in that vicinity so i'd kind of have an excuse for being there and maybe not make it so creepy. Oh well, i'll continue my online search.

    Dude, it doesn't matter if she doesn't know its creepy, you'll know. I mean, I think lots of people have done this to a lesser extent..you know, show up to a store where someone you like works, etc. But you want to drive two hours, and just walk around a university till you manage to somehow come across her.

    That might work in the movies, but not real life.

    Not that I'm trying to convince anyone that its NOT creepy, but she has a first name that's not too common so I figured I might be able to discreetly find out where she is from what class she's taking... I'm not saying that's what I'm going to do... I'm just saying...

    it would be way less creepy to have a friend go look for you if he is in the area, but 2 hour drive... yeah way creepy

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • coldbird.coldbird. Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    creepiness is a modern phenomenon

    coldbird. on
  • AK47sForEveryoneAK47sForEveryone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    after 20 pages of browsing i think i found her on face book... Interestingly enough this particular girl has the same last name as my ex girlfriend. Now one more question: is it going to be creepy in a similar way that I went out of my way to find her on facebook even though she didnt give me her information? Bah! screw it, I'm messaging her. That is if it REALLY is her.

    AK47sForEveryone on
  • mechaThormechaThor Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    The worst that will happen is that she does think its creepy and you don't end up talking to her again, which really isn't that big of a deal seeing as you a: just met her and b: she lives a distance away.

    mechaThor on
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  • Aoi TsukiAoi Tsuki Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    after 20 pages of browsing i think i found her on face book... Interestingly enough this particular girl has the same last name as my ex girlfriend. Now one more question: is it going to be creepy in a similar way that I went out of my way to find her on facebook even though she didnt give me her information? Bah! screw it, I'm messaging her. That is if it REALLY is her.

    :^:

    In real life, this was the best possible course you could've taken: enormous effort that did not culminate in you showing up unannounced in the hopes that she was 1) thinking of you, 2) single, and 3) charmed rather than intensely uncomfortable with a virtual stranger's skill at locating her without her knowledge. I salute you, sir.

    (It should go without saying that if it is her and she's put off by your wading through 20 pages to find her, driving down there might've scared her or worse.)

    Aoi Tsuki on
  • AK47sForEveryoneAK47sForEveryone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Aoi Tsuki wrote: »
    after 20 pages of browsing i think i found her on face book... Interestingly enough this particular girl has the same last name as my ex girlfriend. Now one more question: is it going to be creepy in a similar way that I went out of my way to find her on facebook even though she didnt give me her information? Bah! screw it, I'm messaging her. That is if it REALLY is her.

    :^:

    In real life, this was the best possible course you could've taken: enormous effort that did not culminate in you showing up unannounced in the hopes that she was 1) thinking of you, 2) single, and 3) charmed rather than intensely uncomfortable with a virtual stranger's skill at locating her without her knowledge. I salute you, sir.

    (It should go without saying that if it is her and she's put off by your wading through 20 pages to find her, driving down there might've scared her or worse.)

    Hahaha, thats a great link to that onion story... I never would've gone through with driving 2 hours to skulk around a campus, i mean, i wasnt even brave enough to ask for a number.

    At any rate, the message has been sent so now I wait...

    AK47sForEveryone on
  • GahmriousGahmrious Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fuck. Waiting totally sucks. I'm anxious to find out whappens next. Good luck.

    Gahmrious on
  • rfaliasrfalias Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    It's not like she will know how many pages you sorted through, so who the hell cares. She could have been the first one that showed up based on your search criteria.

    Just be confident and get her gd phone number now, since before she practically told you to ask her for it.

    rfalias on
  • i n c u b u si n c u b u s Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Edit: (Sorry didn't see the post up top)

    Personally I wouldn't think its creepy at all to find her on facebook, in fact its quite acceptable. You guys obviously clicked and why wouldn't she be happy that you went through all the effort to finally find her. Its really sweet and it'll probably be a funny story to tell later.

    i n c u b u s on
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  • MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    If she asks how you found her on Facebook, just be honest. Tell her you searched her name/university and luckily found her.

    MagicPrime on
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  • CoJoeTheLawyerCoJoeTheLawyer Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    after 20 pages of browsing i think i found her on face book... Interestingly enough this particular girl has the same last name as my ex girlfriend. Now one more question: is it going to be creepy in a similar way that I went out of my way to find her on facebook even though she didnt give me her information? Bah! screw it, I'm messaging her. That is if it REALLY is her.

    This is the best course of action. However, I would refrain from mentioning that it took you 20 pages of browsing to find her on facebook (or that you had to consult the Penny Arcade H/A/ Forums for advice). In fact, I would use it to your favor, as in "When we talked, you said this, and this, and this and I put them all together and found this" as if you were actually paying attention to what she said.

    Also the Craigslist - Missed Connection can be a good hook. Be creative, and it may charm her. Be creepy or bland, and it may scare her off.

    CoJoeTheLawyer on

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  • SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Hey so out of curiousity, what did you put in the message? I was in a slightly similar situation recently (we both live and work in the same city and have a mutual (though distant) acquaintance, but had never met before and really hit it off after a chance meeting at a bar. I'm pretty out of practice when it comes to meeting new women (my career was driving my life for four straight years until earlier this month when I finally completed my strategic objectives) so I totally forgot that I was supposed to ask for her phone number.

    So I realized I had her email address because our mutual friend had sent us both an email earlier this year, and sent her an email explaining that I wanted to ask for her number, that I really enjoyed meeting her, and then I gave her my number and email address and asked her to write back or call me if she felt like it, and I'm going to leave it at that if I never hear from her again and assume she thought me tracking her down was shady.

    What did you write to the girl in your situation?

    (By the way, while actively hunting for someone is undoubtedly creepy, I salute you for putting in the effort to reach out to her and give her the option to reach back by sending her a message because that way, you really have nothing to lose. That's what made me decide to write to the girl I met--if she doesn't write back or call me, I haven't really lost anything because I never would have heard from her again anyway, and since I've already accepted the low likelihood that I'll ever hear from her again, getting anything back from her is really a win, and not hearing from her is simply breaking even).

    SammyF on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited November 2008
    I don't think I'd find it that creepy, but then I always had weird ideas about what is and isn't creepy. Sounds like you did the best thing, though, let us know what happens!

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • AK47sForEveryoneAK47sForEveryone Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    SammyF wrote: »

    What did you write to the girl in your situation?

    Here it is copied... it only took me two hours to write... 8-)

    "Do you happen to be the Anna that I sat next to on a 5 hour flight from the east coast this last weekend? If you are, I regret not mustering the boldness to ask you for your number. If it's not too weird, email me, I'd really like to get you a drink sometime. Thanks, I hope to see you around."

    I kind of regret saying "If it's not too weird..." I'd rather not acknowledge or even hint at the amount of time I spent trying to find her.

    AK47sForEveryone on
  • tinyfisttinyfist Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    i wish you the best of luck in getting a response! please do update if you do!

    tinyfist on
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  • TopweaselTopweasel Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    SammyF wrote: »

    What did you write to the girl in your situation?

    Here it is copied... it only took me two hours to write... 8-)

    "Do you happen to be the Anna that I sat next to on a 5 hour flight from the east coast this last weekend? If you are, I regret not mustering the boldness to ask you for your number. If it's not too weird, email me, I'd really like to get you a drink sometime. Thanks, I hope to see you around."

    I kind of regret saying "If it's not too weird..." I'd rather not acknowledge or even hint at the amount of time I spent trying to find her.

    Is your email or facebook logon AK47sforeverybody? Just saying most girls don't fall in love with a guy that recommends communist manufactured automatic assault weapons for the populace. Please keep us updated though.

    Topweasel on
  • SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    SammyF wrote: »

    What did you write to the girl in your situation?

    Here it is copied... it only took me two hours to write... 8-)

    "Do you happen to be the Anna that I sat next to on a 5 hour flight from the east coast this last weekend? If you are, I regret not mustering the boldness to ask you for your number. If it's not too weird, email me, I'd really like to get you a drink sometime. Thanks, I hope to see you around."

    I kind of regret saying "If it's not too weird..." I'd rather not acknowledge or even hint at the amount of time I spent trying to find her.

    Yeah that four year project I was working on? Started after the 2004 elections and ended after the 2008 elections. I have a fair bit of experience talking people into doing things they wouldn't ordinarily want to do (although I puss out when it comes to girls still), and the trick is to get to the ask quickly without hinting that there's a reason the other party should disagree. The short message is good, I agree you could have done without the "not too weird."

    That said, here's my email:

    Hi [name redacted],

    So I'm kind of out habit when it comes to asking for phone numbers, and I kicked myself Saturday morning for not thinking to ask for yours when I met you Friday night. It also occured to me that I probably already have your email address from some things that [another name, also redacted] invited me to in the past. So in case this is you, I wanted to write and say I enjoyed meeting you this past weekend. My number is [oh you better believe that's redacted]-- if you'd like, call me or write back.

    If this is not the right [name redacted], well, haha, serves me right.

    SammyF on
  • CoJoeTheLawyerCoJoeTheLawyer Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    SammyF wrote: »

    What did you write to the girl in your situation?

    Here it is copied... it only took me two hours to write... 8-)

    "Do you happen to be the Anna that I sat next to on a 5 hour flight from the east coast this last weekend? If you are, I regret not mustering the boldness to ask you for your number. If it's not too weird, email me, I'd really like to get you a drink sometime. Thanks, I hope to see you around."

    I kind of regret saying "If it's not too weird..." I'd rather not acknowledge or even hint at the amount of time I spent trying to find her.

    That's what you wrote?o_O

    Um, uh...good luck with that brother. Not to be a downer, but it's kind of lacking.

    PS - "Anna" isn't that uncommon of a name.

    CoJoeTheLawyer on

    CoJoe.png
  • metaghostmetaghost An intriguing odor A delicate touchRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Way to be downer, CoJoe.

    metaghost on
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I don't see the problem with his text, CoJoe. He's not even 100% it's the right girl, he's not going to launch a wall of text right away.

    Djiem on
  • tinyfisttinyfist Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    It looks fine to me. Seems like a fairly light and decent intro.

    tinyfist on
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