Finding relationships over the interwebs

GurtPerk

This is something I've been curious about for a couple years now. Despite the title (which is the best I could muster to sum up my thoughts) I want to be fairly serious about this thread.

I guess my general question would be: Are there any places online that you have found to be good sources for finding potential relationships? I'm also talking about a local relationship in my area, not a general online one. I know people who have used Facebook in the past, but I really only use my account casually. To also give some brief background, I am a 21 year old male who goes to an art college in Washington.

The other large factor about why I'm asking this is because I go to a college that has a very busy lifestyle and don't have a lot of free time. I don't really attend lots of parties, or drink/smoke. Again, this is mainly just myself being curious. I would really like to hear anyone's testimonials over success/failures of this method and/or where to start looking.

Thanks for all the help.

Kyougu

Okcupid.com is probably the best free online dating site. Afterwards there are plentyoffish.com and craiglist.

radroadkill

I met my husband on Okcupid. On any dating website just remember that's there's going to be a lot of crap to wade through, but it's really not any different than real life: there's a bunh of people that don't work for you or with you, and there's a bunch who aren't really into relationships, and there's some things might work with.

It also takes a bit of effort and active conversation and looking, and making sure you both make plans to meet and see how it goes.

Rhino

> To also give some brief background, I am a 21 year old male who goes to an art college in Washington.

That is the best place in my opinion. Not online, but in class - after class, in study hall, walking around campus. Specially an art college! :winky:

Anyways, plentyoffish.com is free

hotornot is pretty good - they keep going from pay to no pay model, so don't know if it's still free or not.

okcupid.com is good.

match.com is good for older folks, don't know about younger folks.

craigslist sucks pretty bad.

note: all those are my opinions - your experience may be vastly different.

Some of Rhino's tips for online dating:

Include a pic - include more then one. Make sure they are decent pictures showing your face straight on and in different angles. Normal pics - nothing fancy, no naked pictures, no "show off pictures" ( 'oh, hi, I'm just flexing next to my sweet ride without a shirt while drinking a beer, in middle of winter' - don't be that guy).

Read their profile, find something that might interest them to talk about.. Keep it light. I've found (again, this might differ for you) that jokes and complaints work well... get them laughing and/or give them a genuine compliment.

Also online dating is pretty hard - it's hard to get feed back. If they don't response, it could be for lots of reasons, but you never really know why. Again, this is to me personally, but I've found talking to women at college is a LOT easier then online dating and a lot better for the self-esteem. If some girl blows you off in real life, you can ussually tell why.

If someone doesn't response online, you don't know and honestly, it feels shitty to get rejected a lot.
This seems to happen a LOT online, just due to the fact there are some many people.
Online, it could of been just because it's an old account and they never check it anymore - you just don't know.

At college, just chat with some girls and see what happens. Just keep it friendly and if it "clicks", great, if not then try talking to other girls.

If you like some cute girls art, lean over and says "that's really good" [or something to that affect] in a charming friendly way. Make sure it's genuine and real... but that's worked for me many times. I bet it would work better from a gifted artist like yourself (my art is really bad).

GurtPerk

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'll look into those.

To Rhino: Those are some great tips, but the numbers really aren't that great here. More less why I've gotten to know a bunch of the girls here, but have only had a genuine interest in a few. I think my class has somewhere close to say 60-70 people. I'm also interested in someone beyond the art field too.

Xagarath

I've had a fair degree of success on OkCupid. They key is to put together a profile that makes you look vaguely interesting or unusual, then be patient. Message lots of people, but comment on something on their profile if possible rather than just a general "Hi, how are you?".

Qingu

I met my girlfriend on the internet through Nanowrimo. In fact, I lured her to my subterranean home with milk and cookies (by hosting a writing group).

Not sure if writing is your preferred hobby, but my general advice is to get involved in social activities that deal with things you like to do. There's probably a lot of stuff out there today that's organized online, especially if you live in a city. I think one way to look at it is as a numbers game: you want to meet as many people as possible who share your interests. Also: be patient! I consider myself really, really lucky to have met my girlfriend (it took 3 years of Nanowrimo!)

Erios

OKCupid got me the girl I'm seeing now (second year med student, woo) after being on the site for less than a week. The following advice is solid gold:
-Be positive. It sucks, but as human beings, we are attracted to winners and we shun losers. Sympathy romance can work when someone knows you and chemistry and tension already exist, but online when the person on the other end is being bombarded by men salivating over her? Yeah, fat chance. Make yourself sound like a good investment of time, money and emotion. Make it seem like your life is going somewhere and don't be insecure. This is also a good litmus test for an idiot or someone with dependency issues, as you have time to determine what you want to write. Thus, someone who is negative about himself either: hates himself, doesn't think things through or wants other people to mitigate or sympathize with his personal failings. Do you want to date these kinds of people? No. Neither do I. And neither does the person on the other end.
-Be patient. You are not (probably) going to use a focused approach, finding "the woman of your dreams" within 6 click. You will have to spread yourself around. Send lots of messages, put time and effort into each one, and expect a low rate of return. It's probably nothing personal, odds are the other person is lazier than you are.
-Also, NO RAP FACES. Make your profile picture beam out "warm and approachable" not "STRONG AND FIERCE LIKE POWERTHIRST."
-The odds are good, but the goods may be odd.
-Be at least somewhat honest about yourself. Can you only date someone that likes videogames, sci fi, comics, webcomics, anime or a combination of any of the above? Well include a line that says you are into these things, if only for the sake of exposure. Many relationships end when people stop pretending about their identities for the sake of catching a relationship. This is not carte blanche to nerd out and spend three paragraphs discussing the finer points of Revolutionary Girl Utena.
-Forum search Social Entropy++ (we're good people) for the OKCupid thread (Search: OKCupid). The thread is pretty good, even if you don't enjoy the SE++ banter or inside jokes. The OP alone gives some great advice as to how to construct a great profile.

noir_blood

another vote for Okcupid, and depending where you live, cragslist.

And for the love of god, make sure to send out an interesting message and have a good profile. The person I met through that has told me that it was my profile and message that prompted her to respond to me.

wasted pixels

I met a girl on OK Cupid. My friends set up a profile without telling me, and one girl responded to it with a bunch of Street Fighter jokes, so I figured "what the hell". She ended up being awesome -- pretty, wicked sense of humor, everything in common -- and I thought maybe I'd found a girl I could spend my life with. After a couple of months, though, the guy she'd loved in her youth came back into the picture, and she admitted that she had unresolved feelings for him. I encouraged her to follow her heart. She told me at the end of that conversation that I was the best friend she'd ever had, and then she never spoke to me again. All I really have to remember her by is her favorite album, which was one of the saddest, most beautiful pieces of music I've ever heard.

What I'm driving at here is that you can probably meet people on OK Cupid.