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So much easier if it was Ellen Page.
bizzarochicken
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Buuut its not. Ok so im 18 living in Australia having recently finished highschool i went to schoolies ( kinds like spring break, go somewhere sunny and nice for week and get blind drunk.)
Problem is during this time i met a girl who seemed pretty cool, ended up having sex twice on two different nights (used a condom both occasions)
but i get a text message from her two nights ago asking whether i had worn a condom because she was " V. late with her period" she tells me last night that shes infact a week late and that she will give it another week before she takes a test.
If she is pregnant, she wants to keep the baby, i understand i have no choice in that matter (personally i think im/she is too young for this kind of responsibility)
i am willing to financially support her and the baby, i currently am earning close to a thousand dollars a week. but i dont want a relationship with her in which we are seen as a couple.
questions are:
what rights do i have ??
what responsibilities do i have to undertake ??(legally)
im honestly scared out of my mind for the future the only thing that stops me from just commiting is me accepting the fact that this will (possibly) be my responsibility to provide for the girl and the child.
any advice is completely welcome.
sorry for the shitty erratic post.
Problem is during this time i met a girl who seemed pretty cool, ended up having sex twice on two different nights (used a condom both occasions)
but i get a text message from her two nights ago asking whether i had worn a condom because she was " V. late with her period" she tells me last night that shes infact a week late and that she will give it another week before she takes a test.
If she is pregnant, she wants to keep the baby, i understand i have no choice in that matter (personally i think im/she is too young for this kind of responsibility)
i am willing to financially support her and the baby, i currently am earning close to a thousand dollars a week. but i dont want a relationship with her in which we are seen as a couple.
questions are:
what rights do i have ??
what responsibilities do i have to undertake ??(legally)
im honestly scared out of my mind for the future the only thing that stops me from just commiting is me accepting the fact that this will (possibly) be my responsibility to provide for the girl and the child.
any advice is completely welcome.
sorry for the shitty erratic post.
bizzarochicken on
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I wouldn't worry too much until she takes the test. I've had a decent amount of pregs scares in my life. Also girls can be late for a lot of reasons. I had one that was late because she never fucking ate anything. Also no proof it's yours anyway... that is another day though.
If she comes back with a posi test story, just see what she wants to do. I would also make her prove she's pregs by taking a test in front of you.
Only thing I know for sure is you and her need to relax, because stress will just make that period take its sweet sweet time. So just calm down for right now and don't say anything to scare her or piss her off.
Secondly, these are your options. Be a father to the kid. or.. Refuse to be a father and pay child support. Before you even listen to whether or not she wants an abortion, you should try and decide (if she's actually pregnant).
I know it's probably really hard for you, but regardless of how everything turns out, this is not the end of the world. Your life is not over. A bajillion people have gone through what you have and turned out blissfully happy with their lives. Try and imagine the future turning out happy intead of dwelling on possible bad things.
The first is that she's pregnant.
The second is that the hypothetical kid is yours.
If she is really pregnant, then before you even talk about support, you'll need a DNA test to see if you're the dad. She let you in her pants twice before she'd even known you a week. Who knows who else has been there lately? (She knows... one would hope... but you can't necessarily count on her to be honest about that) If you don't insist on getting those test results before you contribute a dime, you're basically lighting up a neon sign that says "I'm a sucker."
I wouldn't know, because we just went somewhere nice and quiet and played Nintendo and drank beer for a week. But I imagine if you went somewhere a little more populated there'd be more opportunity for that kind of thing.
And yeah, even if she is pregnant, you're not going to know whether or not it's yours without a test. I would suggest you just chill out and not worry about it for now. If she does turn out to be pregnant, then it's time to start worrying.
Hope it's good news, bizzarochicken. A child is a blessing...just not yet.
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If she is pregnant, I really wouldn't immediately assume it's yours. It sounds like you're assuming that to be true, which may be naive given the circumstances. If you wore the condom, and it didn't break/slip off (it didn't, did it?), chances exist... but, as sad as this sounds, the odds are much more likely that you may not have been her only partner on this vacation trip. It sounds like social restrictions were pretty loosened anyways where you were if you had sex twice and barely knew her... so the possibility that you weren't the only one (and perhaps, someone didn't use a condom or theirs broke/slipped off) slips into the realm of distinct possibility.
If she is pregnant, I would consider strongly getting a paternity test... and being careful about who you sleep with, especially in the kind of situation you were in. Not for any prudish reason, but simply because having sex with people semi-anonymously, especially in these 'vacation break' situations, can lead to just this sort of situation. Accidents happen, and you can end up fathering a child with a complete stranger. Or you may end up thinking a child may be yours when in fact it's someone else's. Best to avoid the whole mess to begin with, from a purely practical standpoint.
Hell, I dated a girl who had a period once every three months without being on any type of contraceptive. To her, that was absolutely normal. Women can have some funky bodily issues. Good luck, though.
thanks for the advice.hopefully i wont need it for future reference.