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So there's this girl (not a girl thread...totally a girl thread)
Murago
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
this is me venting out in a semi-anonymous network with the hopes that someone might give me some advice.
I hardly find women i'm attracted to. Physically sure, but when I start to talk to a person, it typically takes a nosedive. Given, i'm not desperately seeking a connection or a relationship, but it'll sneak up in the back of my mind every so often. And very rarely do I say to myself "Now this is someone who I can connect with on a few levels".
Well, it happened recently.
A couple months ago I met her at the mall. She works there for a private company. After some talking, I gave her my info and was surprised to find she didn't have a cell phone. So i gave her my email and told her to get in touch with me if she wanted to get together sometime. A month or so goes by and I didn't hear anything so I just forgot about it...no biggy. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I see her again. I hadn't seen her there for awhile and figured she quit or something. I remembered her name and we started talking again. She gave me her full name to look up on facebook, which I did that night.
Here's where it gets sticky.
She's been in America a few months now, she's originally from Israel. The company she works for helped her get a work visa, helped her move down, employs her and even gives her a place to stay. She lives in a complex with 14 other people who are in the same boat (working for the company). She works 6 days a week. They don't have schedules. The company calls the complex up at midnite every nite and tells people if they are working the next day or if they are off. So they literally don't know if they will or won't work until midnite.
To add to this, they won't let her go out on any day except her day off. Not even at nite. I learned all of this b/c I asked her if it would be ok if I came by and had lunch with her. She said yes and the next day we had some coffee and just talked about all of this. I told her i'd like to see her on her day off, and she said she would call me.
So basically, I'm at a crossroad. She may be leaving when the company pulls out of this area at the end of January...and between now and then..that's like...4 or 5 days i MAY see her. She hasn't contacted me since i saw her last on tuesday. I can't read the situation b/c i can't get in contact with her (which irks the shit out of me). I don't know if she's being nice, or if she got turned off when we talked for awhile.
Should I be more forward in this situation and go see her again? Should i just forget about it b/c the chances of building a connection are slim and none? Should I be straight up and tell her my mess of thoughts that I can barely form into sentences?
I really wouldn't come out like this and write this down here if I didn't think I was somehow watching a great opportunity slip right by me. I've been trying to think about other things...and its not happening. I don't think its puppy love or a crush...I feel i'm too old to have silly experiences like that anymore. Maybe i'm wrong.
I dunno, any thoughts would be good to read. Just writing this down has been slightly therapeutic.
I hardly find women i'm attracted to. Physically sure, but when I start to talk to a person, it typically takes a nosedive. Given, i'm not desperately seeking a connection or a relationship, but it'll sneak up in the back of my mind every so often. And very rarely do I say to myself "Now this is someone who I can connect with on a few levels".
Well, it happened recently.
A couple months ago I met her at the mall. She works there for a private company. After some talking, I gave her my info and was surprised to find she didn't have a cell phone. So i gave her my email and told her to get in touch with me if she wanted to get together sometime. A month or so goes by and I didn't hear anything so I just forgot about it...no biggy. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I see her again. I hadn't seen her there for awhile and figured she quit or something. I remembered her name and we started talking again. She gave me her full name to look up on facebook, which I did that night.
Here's where it gets sticky.
She's been in America a few months now, she's originally from Israel. The company she works for helped her get a work visa, helped her move down, employs her and even gives her a place to stay. She lives in a complex with 14 other people who are in the same boat (working for the company). She works 6 days a week. They don't have schedules. The company calls the complex up at midnite every nite and tells people if they are working the next day or if they are off. So they literally don't know if they will or won't work until midnite.
To add to this, they won't let her go out on any day except her day off. Not even at nite. I learned all of this b/c I asked her if it would be ok if I came by and had lunch with her. She said yes and the next day we had some coffee and just talked about all of this. I told her i'd like to see her on her day off, and she said she would call me.
So basically, I'm at a crossroad. She may be leaving when the company pulls out of this area at the end of January...and between now and then..that's like...4 or 5 days i MAY see her. She hasn't contacted me since i saw her last on tuesday. I can't read the situation b/c i can't get in contact with her (which irks the shit out of me). I don't know if she's being nice, or if she got turned off when we talked for awhile.
Should I be more forward in this situation and go see her again? Should i just forget about it b/c the chances of building a connection are slim and none? Should I be straight up and tell her my mess of thoughts that I can barely form into sentences?
I really wouldn't come out like this and write this down here if I didn't think I was somehow watching a great opportunity slip right by me. I've been trying to think about other things...and its not happening. I don't think its puppy love or a crush...I feel i'm too old to have silly experiences like that anymore. Maybe i'm wrong.
I dunno, any thoughts would be good to read. Just writing this down has been slightly therapeutic.
Check out www.myspace.com/scarborough -- tell me what you think!
Murago on
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Even if neither are true it looks like a real long shot and will probably be more difficult than it's worth.
I think i need to see this girl one last time and put it all out there. I don't think I can wait...I'd rather be totally rejected and at least know whats up than sit on my hands and be completely ignorant. Its cold outside, and I want someone to hold.
because if so man I would forget about it and move on. Those girls are nothing but trouble.
what makes you say that?
Yeah something sounds really weird here to me too. If she already has a work visa, cant she just quit and work somewhere else? Do they have the power to have it revoked? Waiting till midnight the night before to tell someone if they are working or not is one thing, but telling them they cant leave their group apartment unless they have permission from work, just screams of wrongness to me. If shes living in there on their dime i guess they can set the rules or kick her out but this just reminds me of a more legal version of smuggling illegal immigrants into the country and making them slaves.
Yes and no. From what I understand about work visas in the US, to have a work visa the company you work for has to be willing to sponsor the work visa. If you lose that job you have to find a new company within x amount of time or else you lose your work visa and have to leave the country. (I've done no research on this whatsoever, this is just what I've heard). Basically if she quits her job or is fired she can, and probably will, lose her work visa.
Like costanza.
I'm gonna go see this girl when i get off work and i'm going to put it all out there.
NO MERCY!
Stay tuned for an update sometime tonite about all this...it should be interesting.
This is what i thought too. I just don't know how hard it would be to talk another company into sponsoring you. I'm sure there are plenty of other jobs at the mall, especially around the holiday season. But getting them to sign off on your visa could be a whole different story. Murago, i advise you be careful here. From my own experiences, these girls act like they are hitting on you just to make a sale. The moment i made it clear i was not interested, the girl i talked with just turned around and walked away. Not even a good bye or a thanks for my time. In the chance shes for real, i wish you both good luck. If your talk with her goes well, i would do a little research online and see what the laws are reguarding work visas and see about finding her a new place of employment.
I asked her flat out if she uses flirting to make sales. I can tell from her eyes she's being honest when she says no. She says she is interested in me. But thats not why she's in america...she's here for 4 months to make as much money as she can.
She says maybe after the holidays she'll have to time to get together.
So...basically...its not that she doesn't like me. Good thing.
She just doesn't have the time for anything else but work. bad thing.
I feel like I'm watching an amazing opportunity pass right by...and I can't do a fucking thing.
that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I had a realization earlier, when I smoked a bit.
This girl was really honest and nice to me. She flat out told me she is interested, but its just not the right situation unfortunately. I guess i'm mostly upset that it isn't the perfect situation. I was being...not necessarily selfish, but a little maybe. I'm not sure how to explain it, but suddenly i realized that she wasn't rejecting me. On the contrary, she spent her time and chilled with me.
I feel fortunate now, and I guess that I need to hope for the best, expect nothing, and be ok when nothing comes to fruition. Either way, i'm really glad I found some clarity over the whole thing. It was really messing my mind up.
Thanks again for all the thoughts...I don't know what the fuck is up with that company, but she told me straight up they would fire her if she didn't follow their house rules. Maybe i'll look into the whole visa thing in case something does happen after the holidays. See what kind of companies might sponsor someone to work in America.