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Trouble getting it up.
anony84
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
First of all, I just created this account to post this anonymously. I remember a few other users have done it, so I guess it's not a problem.
About a year and half ago, I began dating one of my classmates from high school. 5.5 years had passed, she and I had both graduated from college, have good careers ahead of us. Anwyays, we emailed for a few weeks, and met when she was in town for government business. We had dinner, some drinks later on at a DC club, and just hooked up. We went back to my place... we had some more drinks... and even though I had quite a few girlfriends before, since I never had sex with any of them, I didn't know about alcahol's effects on my dick. Anyways, we proceeded to the bedroom and you know what happens next. I have a rock hard boner as we do foreplay and oral but I lose it as soon as I start putting on a condom. Anyways, she said it was ok and blab blah blah but you know how bad this is... I went to the bathroom multiple times to try to get it up... and no.
Anyways, the next day, we go have dinner with some friends and go to a bar afterwards. I again had quite a few drinks (actually, 5 or 6 bottles of guinness) and had the same problem as the night before.
Long story short, I lost all my confidence. I don't know whether alcohol was a contributing factor or was it just my anxiety of losing my v-card (plus performance anxiety) but I am worried about this becoming a problem when I go to bed with my current girlfriend. We have been together for 2 months now and soon enough we'll be doing it.
So I guess my question is, should I be worried? I haven't discussed any of this with my girlfriend, should I? I am just scared overall. Any advice to help me relax?
Thanks.
About a year and half ago, I began dating one of my classmates from high school. 5.5 years had passed, she and I had both graduated from college, have good careers ahead of us. Anwyays, we emailed for a few weeks, and met when she was in town for government business. We had dinner, some drinks later on at a DC club, and just hooked up. We went back to my place... we had some more drinks... and even though I had quite a few girlfriends before, since I never had sex with any of them, I didn't know about alcahol's effects on my dick. Anyways, we proceeded to the bedroom and you know what happens next. I have a rock hard boner as we do foreplay and oral but I lose it as soon as I start putting on a condom. Anyways, she said it was ok and blab blah blah but you know how bad this is... I went to the bathroom multiple times to try to get it up... and no.
Anyways, the next day, we go have dinner with some friends and go to a bar afterwards. I again had quite a few drinks (actually, 5 or 6 bottles of guinness) and had the same problem as the night before.
Long story short, I lost all my confidence. I don't know whether alcohol was a contributing factor or was it just my anxiety of losing my v-card (plus performance anxiety) but I am worried about this becoming a problem when I go to bed with my current girlfriend. We have been together for 2 months now and soon enough we'll be doing it.
So I guess my question is, should I be worried? I haven't discussed any of this with my girlfriend, should I? I am just scared overall. Any advice to help me relax?
Thanks.
anony84 on
0
Posts
I would say that if you are planning on having sex soon that you need to do it in a romantic way instead of hitting the bars first. Rose petals on the bed, candles, that type of stuff, but do not involve alcohol. Getting it up is a mental game and if you are confident about your relationship and feel that you are both ready, then it shouldn't be too hard.
However, keep in mind that getting it up is a very, very mental game. If you are drinking your erection away now and losing confidence every time you do so, you may get to a point where it becomes a problem without the drinking. Don't let it get to that point.
However, a lot of it will come from being nervous. The best advice I can think to give is deep breaths and to talk it over with your lady. As cliche as that sounds. Also as difficult as it may seem, work on getting lost in the moment. That can relieve tension. Or have her put the condom on for you.
Insert comment about how you shouldn't be messing around on your girlfriend under the assumption that she's not cool with that.
Edit: Beat.
There's nothing wrong with you.
The moral of the story is to stop drinking. It's not healthy for you anyway.
Nuh-uh. Alcohol is bad for you. Hell, I'd call marijuana preferable to alcohol. Unless you're drinking microbrews, that is. I love good microbrews.
Cuddling, puppies, kittens and Left 4 Dead aren't.
Well, I have never heard of the term "whiskey dick" before (english is not my native language), but it is relieving to learn :P
Now that I know not to drink alcohol before we head to the bedroom, how do I deal with the anxiety of not performing? Will it happen automatically? I guess I am just too nervous and psychologically affected by that past experience that I'll be too nervous to even feel lucky to be having sex.
Forget about "performing" and trying to impress someone else. Maybe you are thinking too much about being judged.
Stop caring about what the other person thinks, and think about YOU. Just take it easy and as long as you don't end up in a corner crying, you've done better than the majority of people here.
And what's with
:?:
Putting on a condom adds so much anxiety that it has the same effect on most guys. Mostly from trying to open the damn things. I suggest that when you buy a pack to gently cut into the edge of the wrapper without actually opening it. That way it's easier to open when needed.
Also, if you're working stressful hours and in your late twenties you can try Cialis or Viagra. Sure it's extreme if you're not middle age but they do make sex fun and perform more in bed. They're a life save for me and I mostly use then on weekends when I spend more time with my lady.
Actually, if you are confident about your relationship and feel that you are both ready, it should be hard. :winky:
You could always have her put it on you.
You can't combine urinating and sex?
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Portalflip
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But seriously, go ahead and have a drink to loosen up before the sexin', just have 2 Guinness instead of 6. I have found that the perfect concoc(k)tion for me is 2 beers and a shot of tequila. Don't overdo it.
When this happens to me I go into the bathroom and have a pep talk with my penis. Don't beg and plead You tell that son of a bitch to get hard and fuck that pussy.
I have no idea why this works but seriously for me at least it totally does.
Last week was my 1 month with my girlfriend. I'm a senior in high school and had the house to myself for the week. We cooked ourselves some dinner together, enjoyed it together across a candle lit table, and then proceeded to my bedroom. I'm still a virgin, she's not. Basically, was doing great until it came to putting on the condom. Tried three times before we just gave up and decided to stay at third base haha.
I've openly joked about my epic failure with my friends, so I'm not afraid to post it for a bunch of strangers to read. But I think the anxiety is definitely the main factor. Trust me, I wanted to get inside of her, but I just couldn't. I think once I started showing signs of nothing happening, I started to freak out in my head, thinking like "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU OMG FUCK HER YOU MORON." I'm only 17, so I don't really think I have ED or anything, and I think things will go better next time.
Penis pep talk sounds like something strangely useful- I'm totally comfortable getting naked with my girlfriend, but I just wasn't confident enough in my ability to actually have sex for the first time. Perhaps joking a little with yourself could help with being more comfortable?
The erection jokes have been thrown at me like no other this past week
There was this awesome story in a D&D thread where this guy had to piss while getting a blowjob (I think) so he said he had to go and his girlfriend thought he meant come, so she said "Give it to me" and he peed on her face.
Frankly, if I put one on and I'm not immediately "in service", it's not going to happen for me.
Unfortunately, erectile dysfunction is not entirely a mental problem if there is an underline cause such as blood circulation deficiency, low testosterone, corpus cavernosum penis obstruction, or diabetes.