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EVE Online: Space Faggotry
George Fornby Grill
...Like ClockworkRegistered User regular
...Like ClockworkRegistered User regular
EVE online is a game where you fly internet spaceships in internet space.
It's massive as fuck and there's a bajillion star systems to visit and you're never going to ever see all of them so don't even try.
In EVE, skill training doesn't take grinding, it doesn't really take any effort at all! You just tell it to train a skill, and you're done! You might have to wait a few hours or maybe a day or two sometimes weeks or months oh god this is taking forever why does this skill have to take three months I hate myself so much.
Some guy did the math, and it would take over 28 years to learn every skill in EVE. This is longer than a lot of you have been alive!
Things you can do in EVE:
Mining!
EVE is the only game where mining is actually fun
Trading!
You can have a monopoly on a system, where you own basically every single type of one item, and no one can do anything about it and you can charge whatever you want and be rich as fuck!
Fighting! Yeah sure you can kill the NPCs in asteroid belts but why would you do that when you can do something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BbYvI2ELXM
That ship cost billions of ISK and probably took over a year to make! I bet that guy committed suicide!
EVE is very economically based. That's why player groups are called Corporations!
Did I mention I have a corporation?
We only have like 4 people in it right now but we have it set up so that once we get more people it'll be extremely organized. DETAILS:
Hopeful Horizon's headquarters are located at Haatomo III Moon 1, Propel Dynamics Factory in The Citadel Region.
This post will be changed to reflect current job openings in the Hopeful Horizon Corporation.
As of right now, we only have four members, and we need more for the following positions:
-Mining: Multiple positions
We always need miners, only requirement is a mining level of 3 or higher, cargo hold size doesn't matter. Must be willing to mine any ore requested. Ore will be delivered directly to the corporation, no need for refining. Miners are paid on a percentage basis, depending on how long they've been in the corporation.
Starting rate is 8% of ore profits.
-Delivery: 1 position
We're looking for someone that would be able to run deliveries/pickups for the corporation, must be comfortable going through low-security areas. Must currently have a ship with at least 2000 m^3 cargo space.
Deliveries/pickups are paid on a by-jump salary, with a bonus for Low-Sec jumps, runner's pay also dependent on size of load.
Any others that wish to apply are free to do so, all are subject to a short interview process.
-Microphone is preferred, but not required.
-If a member loses a ship on the job, we'll be willing to replace/help pay for the ship and all fittings, depending on cost.
-We will provide for any job-related purchases as long as you work for the corporation in a productive manner.
-Must be able to show a decent level of maturity
-There is a minimum of 700,000 Skill Points required, applicants with lower than this will not be rejected, but must be able to prove themselves skill-wise.
This post will be changed to reflect current job openings in the Hopeful Horizon Corporation.
As of right now, we only have four members, and we need more for the following positions:
-Mining: Multiple positions
We always need miners, only requirement is a mining level of 3 or higher, cargo hold size doesn't matter. Must be willing to mine any ore requested. Ore will be delivered directly to the corporation, no need for refining. Miners are paid on a percentage basis, depending on how long they've been in the corporation.
Starting rate is 8% of ore profits.
-Delivery: 1 position
We're looking for someone that would be able to run deliveries/pickups for the corporation, must be comfortable going through low-security areas. Must currently have a ship with at least 2000 m^3 cargo space.
Deliveries/pickups are paid on a by-jump salary, with a bonus for Low-Sec jumps, runner's pay also dependent on size of load.
Any others that wish to apply are free to do so, all are subject to a short interview process.
-Microphone is preferred, but not required.
-If a member loses a ship on the job, we'll be willing to replace/help pay for the ship and all fittings, depending on cost.
-We will provide for any job-related purchases as long as you work for the corporation in a productive manner.
-Must be able to show a decent level of maturity
-There is a minimum of 700,000 Skill Points required, applicants with lower than this will not be rejected, but must be able to prove themselves skill-wise.
These are the ships that are in EVE, See those tiny little dots on there? You'll be flying those for the first couple months:
Linked for HUGE
Current list of people that are playing and I'll probably be the only one on it because you all hate good things:
Worthless Lurker - Dakk Windoff
George Fornby Grill on
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i got to play a carrier pilot and made like 150 dollars off it because weaver is a rad fellow
Get the fuck in MERCH so you can pew pew some BOB and AAA
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
Your op doesn't so much make this sound like a game as it does a risky business venture
OP needs a link to the guy who swindled hundreds of billions of fake game monies from dozens of players.
MERCH is with Goonfleet
Goonfleet currently is back in the fight against Band of Brothers and the ex-allies Against All Authorities.
You know what I'm just gonna copy the new goonfleet OP
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
mining isn't fun
it took 2 months to make, he didn't commit suicide (but he did go on to lose two more :psyduck:)
oh look it's a worthless empire-based pubby mining corp. do you have any hulks I can come blow up?
join Merch Industrial, we roll with the guys from Ars Technica and Something Awful
Cunfused the fuck outta me.
Too Many Buttons
man, who pissed in your cheerios?
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
more like Worthless Corp
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
He didn't
Infact he has flown and lost at least 3 more Titans
Shrike is a douche
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfv1QtZDirY&fmt=18
Were you ever in merchi or just wasting time in empire? Eve in empire is possibly the worst mmo ever created outside of korea, eve with goonswarm is the best.
Newbees, if you join goonswarm you should join rho squad (rho squad best squad)
Also, have some screenshots. Each of those little white dots is a large ship (or a wreck, heh)
closer:
this game is about 1/7 as cool as it looks
Not entirely worthless, maybe we can wardec it.
Delta squad is the classiest
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
so classy
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
for some reason I've always assumed you were in rho
maybe it's the "Kentaku Fried Chikan!!~~"
Also for some fucking reason I can't get into the wiki. But I can log into the forums
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
It's boring as all hell.
I always see these threads and I'm like, "damn that game looks cool." and then I try it and I realize that it doesn't do it for me at all. The screenshots have this weird power to make you completely forget how dumb this game is.
Can you see the public pages? Solo did something weird to the wiki, you have to have viewed the forums recently to access any protected wiki pages.
Internet Drama, Spaceships, and Prankapples
A labor of love, EVE Online is a uniquely rewarding MMO that has captivated players since 2003. This game features intricate spaceship combat, vast quantities of players sharing a single un-sharded server, and the most rapturously complex economy of any MMO. The scope of this game is more ambitious than other games. EVE features alliances consisting of thousands of players waging war against each other in a sand box universe. None of that matters too much to us, because the average Goonfleet member's experience is nothing like what most EVE players experience.
Though initially EVE was dominated by self-satisfied euronerds, in late 2005 Something Awful injected itself into the game, changing -some might say ruining- it forever. Since then, we have infuriated tens of thousands of players in a never ending disasterpiece of drama, betrayal, and social faux pas. We have squeezed endless rivers of suffering from the ever-griefable teat of EVE Online's stupid, stupid player base.
A Different Sort of Game
EVE has a number of exceptional features. As mentioned, it is un-sharded, with every player existing on the same server. Other features include a class-less advancement system, experience points accumulating whether you are logged in or not, and the option of paying for your subscription with in-game currency. Many financially savvy players stop paying real money after their first few months in the game.
A Big, Big Universe
EVE Online is huge. There are between ten and thirty thousand players logged in at any time. Fleet battles involve hundreds or even thousands of people shooting it out with lasers, missiles, and possibly some semblance of strategy. Goonfleet actually holds the Guinness Book of World Records title for "Largest Player Corporation," topping out at three thousand members. Another taste of EVE's size: titan-class ships require months to construct and the materials used are valued in the thousands of dollars. And we get to blow them up. While calling them names.
The EVE universe consists of hundreds of solar systems interlinked by stargates, from the idiot-infested regions of Empire to the dark, sparse endgame areas of pirate space. EVE's end-game content is entirely player driven, making it more compelling than anything an in-house game designer would ever dare to write. New players can participate and make a difference in the same end-game battles as Goonfleet veterans. The metagame is equally vast, with thousands of players competing against each other using every tool at their disposal, crossing lines of morality and sometimes legality.
A Harsh Universe Filled With Cock-Waving PvPers
EVE is an unforgiving game. The cruel nature of PvP in EVE is similar to the old school MMOs from the late nineties. When a ship is destroyed in EVE it is gone forever and, although you can insure the hull to recoup a small portion of your loss, most of your expenses will not be covered. For the idiots that we fight, these ships sometimes represent months of effort, destroyed in a matter of seconds. When you blow up someone's shit in EVE it causes tears, wailing, and gnashing of teeth unlike any other game. And because theft, scamming, and outright lying to people are permitted -even encouraged- in EVE, this is the premier griefer game. This is a game that has player-run IPOs making the Wall Street Journal one week, and completely ruined by goons the next --I would link the article but it requires an account. Dozens of goons make their living in EVE solely by tricking gullible idiots into divesting themselves of assets that can sometimes be worth thousands of dollars in real life money.
Nobody Punks Goonfleet
At the top of Goonfleet is our CEO, currently one Darius JOHNSON. Below him are the directors, each of whom are assigned a specific, boring job. Our general members are divided into squads that allow us to better serve our newbies, as well as breaking up our vast numbers into smaller, more sociable groups. We also chill with a number of smaller, semi-cool, auxiliary corporations that we have met during our time in EVE.
Our Terrible Forum Culture
Initially a libertarianesque D&D shitposter's wet dream, then Warhammer 40k Kitsch, Goonfleet is most recently something of a cross between terrorist literature and YCS. Our web site is well-populated, enjoying its own cute little corner of SA-style internet real estate. Many people enjoy it because it is a petite version of SA, and because our enthusiastic members produce cute nonsense like this little bees video. Also of likely interest to newbies is this video of a nerd explaining Goonfleet to some other nerds. Another illustrative example of our corporate culture is this agitprop video from one of our invasions.
What Are We Doing Now?
Though initially dismissed and despised by EVE's upper crust of super nerds, we have made allies of various non-English-speaking organizations to help us blaze a path of glory across EVE's tender nether regions.
For over a year, Goonfleet was engaged in a merciless war against the Band of Brothers, a despicable poop-socking power bloc composed of the most ulcerous "hardcore" players in EVE. If you have played any other MMO, you know what sort of people I am talking about. These internet dandies have said of Goonfleet, "the goon dream is over," "we control your game," and "there are no goons." When our war against this olympic team of effeminacy stalled out, each side returned to our respective corners of the galaxy to lick our wounds --until now.
Hostilities have recommenced with the Band of Brothers. They are joined by our dolchstossing former allies, Against All Authorities. The battles have been epic in scope, generally successful, and our enemies come to us. There has never been a better time to try EVE Online.
For EVE Veterans Considering Returning
Lag problems in oversized battles have been fixed and are no longer a deal-breaker. Warp to zero and player-run jump bridges make travel a breeze. We've sold entire regions of our space and reachieved a critical mass of goons in a manner similar to our time spent in Syndicate. BoB is coming to us instead of the other way around, and yet I haven't seen a titan in months. Titans have been substantially un-fucked, and are being murdered on a regular basis. Did I mention that fleet fights are no longer laggy? Maybe I had better type that fleet fights are no longer laggy a few more times. Oh, one thing: Solo says that if you haven't been to the forums in over ninety days, you will need to make a new forum account. No biggie.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
i imagine i would have had ten times more fun if i was actually playing with them as opposed to MRCHI where if a hostile ship showed up in the system everyone was like "you should hide" and i'm like
Guessing you're in a euro timezone? Our poor euro players are getting sorta screwed. If you're in an American timezone, there's no reason to hide; grab a frigate and x up.
seriously, how can this game sound so awesome but play so meh
not bad, just meh
maybe I need to give this another look
When we found that ship flying to nowhere, when they both got killed and I managed to recollect all their shit
Those goddamn pirates who got our bead towards the end, and enemy corps starting to camp our shit
haha, like we were important or something
Also bemis getting all his cruisers popped
Weapons are a little slower but the ship is completely responsive
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
Reminds me of my beloved rocket kestrel
Close orbiting with supercharger, afterburner, with rockets instead of missiles.
I remember that ship like no other thing in any game I have played
I remember trying to be killed in it aswell, but no-one would fight me. Like 5 people rocked up to see my challenge but I eventually left after an hour of trying to convince some dudes to kill me
eventually some kind girl in a battleship took me on and I did a bit of noticeable damage before she sent me off. I thanked her and left
How true is this. If I could only invest an hour or two every day or two, would I be useless and fucked?
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!