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Dumb Emails From Parents
Goatmon
Companion of KessRegistered User regular
Companion of KessRegistered User regular
My Dad is such a great guy, you guys, checke out this email I got from him today.
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2008 12:39:27 -0600
From: Dad
Original Message
Subject: Fw: Take notice
--- On Thu, 12/4/08, Clarence Murdock Jr. <bandpm3@verizon.net> wrote:
*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*The politically correct police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
*December 25th is just a " Holiday ".*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
*At Lowe's the word Christmas - was nowhere to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!*
It gets a little better. I email him back, saying
"hahaha
As if Christmas is threatened, just because more people are reecognizing there's more than one holiday this season? That's just silly. "
A little later I get a reply.
"I guess you don't get it! There is no other holiday this season but CHRISTMAS Christmas is Christ birthday Didn't I teach yoy anything?"
Feeling concerned for my Dad's ignorance, I decided to educate him on the subject.
"Chrstmas isn't actually Jesus' birthday. It was originally the Winter Solstace. When Christ entered the world, the holiday became about celebrating Jesus instead."
His answer
"are they something wrong with your stupid mind? You are without a doubt the dumest bastard I've came across in quite a while."
There's some irony here, somewhere. My Dad is such a jolly fellow.
So, Social Entrophy, What rampant stupidity have your parents and family shared with you, across the internet?
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2008 12:39:27 -0600
From: Dad
Original Message
Subject: Fw: Take notice
--- On Thu, 12/4/08, Clarence Murdock Jr. <bandpm3@verizon.net> wrote:
*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*The politically correct police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
*December 25th is just a " Holiday ".*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
*At Lowe's the word Christmas - was nowhere to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!*
It gets a little better. I email him back, saying
"hahaha
As if Christmas is threatened, just because more people are reecognizing there's more than one holiday this season? That's just silly. "
A little later I get a reply.
"I guess you don't get it! There is no other holiday this season but CHRISTMAS Christmas is Christ birthday Didn't I teach yoy anything?"
Feeling concerned for my Dad's ignorance, I decided to educate him on the subject.
"Chrstmas isn't actually Jesus' birthday. It was originally the Winter Solstace. When Christ entered the world, the holiday became about celebrating Jesus instead."
His answer
"are they something wrong with your stupid mind? You are without a doubt the dumest bastard I've came across in quite a while."
There's some irony here, somewhere. My Dad is such a jolly fellow.
So, Social Entrophy, What rampant stupidity have your parents and family shared with you, across the internet?
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false teeth speak false truths
"hey have you seen the vid-"
"yeah."
I like this.
when they ask if I got their fwds I just play along like I know what they mean, or say I haven't checked it in a while.
Sorry Sara.
I am the luckiest boy alive until she needs help doing something
then i get 100 or so phone calls
False truths is an oxymoron.
I don't think there's much point explaining facts to him. He's got the whole world figured out, already.
Like how the sky is blue because it's a reflection of the ocean.
haha yes this is basically what my mom does
'LOOK AT THESE CATS WITH THEIR SILLY HATS ON, LOL'
mom please never change
what does science know about christ's birth
"CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME FACIAL"
it feels like something someone once told me but I'll be damned if I know if there's a lick of truth in it
hahahahahahaha
then again I'm not an internet joke fiend or anything like that
She does text me sometimes, but they're always well-written, grammatically correct text messages.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
spread the news
Jesus is a terrorist
and is also dating Brit Spears
They talked about it on the Boondocks cartoon. The weather in Bethlehem at this time of year is too cold for a person to be in a manger and not freeze to death
Because you're an idiot, I guess? I mean, this is just a guess, but let me know if it's close.
and jesus was born of mary's anus, that's how she kept her sacred virginity
Luckyily, Joseph Smith was on hand to deliver the baby.
I get a bunch of pictures with giant dogs sleeping with little kittens. So cute.
he had blankets,
oh yeah and was also fucking JESUS
BWAHAHAHAHA
the only conclusion I can draw from this is that Joseph was very likely Chinese
At Thanksgiving dinner my aunt yelled at me for not praying before we ate though, which was odd because I have told them all many times I no longer consider myself a christian.
Oh and then she started rambling about "how I'm not saying I believe it but Barack Obama does have a lot in common with the anti-Christ depicted in revelations" sooooo my extended family is bat-shit insane.