"WTF" emails you have received

Greg USN

ITT we post some of the strange emails we have received at work (or personal emails).

I got CCed on this jem a few months back. It was a discussion on whether or not a Blue Van was turned in or not...

Chief, with the XO, got the format last week, late as usual, hi did you van the blue van yet, and when you have time, try talking to [office edited] in
you building and [office edited] once in awhile,

Now... we all make the occasional typo or grammatical error in email... but seriously what the fuck guy?

Ninto

Greg USN wrote: »

ITT we post some of the strange emails we have received at work (or personal emails).

I got CCed on this jem a few months back. It was a discussion on whether or not a Blue Van was turned in or not...

Chief, with the XO, got the format last week, late as usual, hi did you van the blue van yet, and when you have time, try talking to [office edited] in
you building and [office edited] once in awhile,

Now... we all make the occasional typo or grammatical error in email... but seriously what the fuck guy?

It's gem.

Septus

It's truly outrageous.

see317

It scares the crap out of me that I understand that e-mail.

mantidor

I used to get some hilarious spam, with subjects like "Paris Hilton's vagina in jail!" or things similar, now I feel bad I never opened them since now I get the more run-of-the-mill penis enlargement ones.

Starcross

I used to get bizarre spam. In order to get around our uni's spam filters the title and body of the message consisted of a completely random string of words. They forgot the part where they tried to sell me anything.

Greg USN

Our filter on my old ship was pretty good. However, we would occasionally get JPGs that were the email body so the spammer could get their crap to us. If you have to try that hard to get me an email, I probably don't want it.

Medopine

Starcross wrote: »

I used to get bizarre spam. In order to get around our uni's spam filters the title and body of the message consisted of a completely random string of words. They forgot the part where they tried to sell me anything.

This is usually how they test out what they can get through your system

MrMonroe

Starcross wrote: »

I used to get bizarre spam. In order to get around our uni's spam filters the title and body of the message consisted of a completely random string of words. They forgot the part where they tried to sell me anything.

I thought this was happening too, but then I realized that the images just weren't being displayed because the webmail app wouldn't read them. If you were reading them on a reader they would come through.

tallgeeze

I used to get weird emails all the time because there was some guy with my exact name in another department at the company I work at.

I copied him on one the misrouted emails. He thanked me and called me "Tex". I wanted to reach through the email and strangle him.

kildy

I got CC'd on a four page email trying to get me fired once that was complete bullshit, if that counts. I don't know why he had the balls to actively CC me when the entire week long issue was he was typoing the URL for the class he was teaching, after I'd emailed the correct one to him a dozen times. Was diagnosed day one when he sent a screenshot of the browser with the wrong URL entered.

Not really sure to this date why he'd actually include me on an email lying to his commanding officer about what happened when there was a solid paper trail.

Buttcleft

The only WTF emails I get are from family members sending me photos of gay porn, I dont know how many times i have to tell these people I'm not gay

Greg USN

Buttcleft wrote: »

The only WTF emails I get are from family members sending me photos of gay porn, I dont know how many times i have to tell these people I'm not gay

Your Avatar leads me to question your honesty in that post. :winky:

Gosling

I got this one in 2001, I have yet to delete it:

Dear Dan,

I really loved your idea of setting up an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals. (I fully sympathize with your idea to create intstr.net, and the fact that in the face of malicious attacks you were able to keep your site up) As you may know, I suffer from breast cancer, and am currently taking herbal treatments for my illness. I would love to contribute to your upcoming breast cancer competition by pledging a several million dollar reward for the person who comes up
with the best idea for fighting breast cancer. you have all my support for your cause. I look forward to a better future for all humanity.

Best wishes,
Suzanne

A) My name is Aaron, not Dan.
The Suzanne in question, judging from the address it came from, happens to be Suzanne Somers.
C) It's been 7 1/2 years since I got it, and I've yet to click that link.

nexuscrawler

I have a Dutch last name an use it in my email address. it's a fairly common name too.

I receive real emails from a bunch of people that seem to be in a college in the Netherlands. all in Dutch. they still won't take me off their list either.

Buttcleft

Greg USN wrote: »

Buttcleft wrote: »

The only WTF emails I get are from family members sending me photos of gay porn, I dont know how many times i have to tell these people I'm not gay

Your Avatar leads me to question your honesty in that post. :winky:

Its a well documented fact that a man can be sexually aroused by Brock Samson without being gay.

Also, i find the image freaking hilarious.

JustinSane07

Gosling wrote: »

I got this one in 2001, I have yet to delete it:

Dear Dan,

I really loved your idea of setting up an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals. (I fully sympathize with your idea to create intstr.net, and the fact that in the face of malicious attacks you were able to keep your site up) As you may know, I suffer from breast cancer, and am currently taking herbal treatments for my illness. I would love to contribute to your upcoming breast cancer competition by pledging a several million dollar reward for the person who comes up
with the best idea for fighting breast cancer. you have all my support for your cause. I look forward to a better future for all humanity.

Best wishes,
Suzanne

A) My name is Aaron, not Dan.
The Suzanne in question, judging from the address it came from, happens to be Suzanne Somers.
C) It's been 7 1/2 years since I got it, and I've yet to click that link.

The horrible horrible truth is behind the spoiler.

Network Error (dns_unresolved_hostname)


Your requested host "www.intstr.net" could not be resolved by DNS.


The website you are attempting to reach is not currently available. It is not being blocked by OneBeacon access policy, but generated an error. For assistance, contact the Enterprise Support Center.

deke55555

I used to work in customer service for a small company, so I'd get all sorts of odd emails. Not spam either, or rather not bulk spam.

These were personally tailored to try to sell me steam powered engines or weekly bulk shipments of produce or whatever. (Hint: T-shirt companies do not need to buy their potatos by the ton)

tallgeeze

deke55555 wrote: »

I used to work in customer service for a small company, so I'd get all sorts of odd emails. Not spam either, or rather not bulk spam.

These were personally tailored to try to sell me steam powered engines or weekly bulk shipments of produce or whatever. (Hint: T-shirt companies do not need to buy their potatos by the ton)

Steam powered engines? Hot damn! Did they try to sell you a cotton gin as well?

Cervetus

tallgeeze wrote: »

deke55555 wrote: »

I used to work in customer service for a small company, so I'd get all sorts of odd emails. Not spam either, or rather not bulk spam.

These were personally tailored to try to sell me steam powered engines or weekly bulk shipments of produce or whatever. (Hint: T-shirt companies do not need to buy their potatos by the ton)

Steam powered engines? Hot damn! Did they try to sell you a cotton gin as well?

No, because he worked in T-shirts, so a cotton gin would be roughly appropriate.

deke55555

It would be hard to convince management to liberate our sla^H^H^Hworkers.

Dynagrip

Supervisor wrote:

In case that you do not know this.

On the H. project, I worked with a consultant from D. who worked for one of the major oil and gas companies (let's call it the Comapny A for short) prior to his joining the consulting firm. He did well in company A so he got promoted to supervise a group of about 40 engineers. The first week on the job as a manager, his supervisor handed him a stack of all the internet accesses made by his group of engineers and his response was "Wow, do I really need to know these?"

The message to you all is that that's was 10 years ago. You can imagine what the software company can provide to all the companies in terms of monitoring the internet access nowadays!? You will be totally amazed.

This is the kind of rules I adhere to when accessing internet for non-business related activities,

1. I limit the access time to between 11:30 to 12:30 or after 5:30 PM the best I can.
2. I will not access any websites which are blocked by the company.
3. If I really have to access the internet outside of the set time frames, I will limit the access to a few seconds.
4. I literally have not done any transactions, purchasing, etc. using company's internet and do not plan to use it in the future either.
5. Our company did issue a policy re the internet access a while back.
6. It happened in our company before that there was an engineer accessing those xxx sites many hours a day until our Paris office found that out and he, of course, was let go right away.

Hopefully, this helps you in one way or another.

Yeah, there's a reason I receive emails like this from time to time.

Medopine

JustinSane07 wrote: »

Gosling wrote: »

I got this one in 2001, I have yet to delete it:

Dear Dan,

I really loved your idea of setting up an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals. (I fully sympathize with your idea to create intstr.net, and the fact that in the face of malicious attacks you were able to keep your site up) As you may know, I suffer from breast cancer, and am currently taking herbal treatments for my illness. I would love to contribute to your upcoming breast cancer competition by pledging a several million dollar reward for the person who comes up
with the best idea for fighting breast cancer. you have all my support for your cause. I look forward to a better future for all humanity.

Best wishes,
Suzanne

A) My name is Aaron, not Dan.
The Suzanne in question, judging from the address it came from, happens to be Suzanne Somers.
C) It's been 7 1/2 years since I got it, and I've yet to click that link.

The horrible horrible truth is behind the spoiler.

Network Error (dns_unresolved_hostname)


Your requested host "www.intstr.net" could not be resolved by DNS.


The website you are attempting to reach is not currently available. It is not being blocked by OneBeacon access policy, but generated an error. For assistance, contact the Enterprise Support Center.

http://web.archive.org/web/20010516040954/http://intstr.net/

Leads to: http://web.archive.org/web/20010516210631/www.osnut.com/

bowen

JustinSane07 wrote: »

Gosling wrote: »

I got this one in 2001, I have yet to delete it:

Dear Dan,

I really loved your idea of setting up an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals. (I fully sympathize with your idea to create intstr.net, and the fact that in the face of malicious attacks you were able to keep your site up) As you may know, I suffer from breast cancer, and am currently taking herbal treatments for my illness. I would love to contribute to your upcoming breast cancer competition by pledging a several million dollar reward for the person who comes up
with the best idea for fighting breast cancer. you have all my support for your cause. I look forward to a better future for all humanity.

Best wishes,
Suzanne

A) My name is Aaron, not Dan.
The Suzanne in question, judging from the address it came from, happens to be Suzanne Somers.
C) It's been 7 1/2 years since I got it, and I've yet to click that link.

The horrible horrible truth is behind the spoiler.

Network Error (dns_unresolved_hostname)


Your requested host "www.intstr.net" could not be resolved by DNS.


The website you are attempting to reach is not currently available. It is not being blocked by OneBeacon access policy, but generated an error. For assistance, contact the Enterprise Support Center.

http://web.archive.org/web/20010505204645/intstr.net/IntStr2.html

Seems like some spam website from the dark ages of the internet.

Edit: Mine's better than yours.

tallgeeze

Cervetus wrote: »

tallgeeze wrote: »

deke55555 wrote: »

I used to work in customer service for a small company, so I'd get all sorts of odd emails. Not spam either, or rather not bulk spam.

These were personally tailored to try to sell me steam powered engines or weekly bulk shipments of produce or whatever. (Hint: T-shirt companies do not need to buy their potatos by the ton)

Steam powered engines? Hot damn! Did they try to sell you a cotton gin as well?

No, because he worked in T-shirts, so a cotton gin would be roughly appropriate.

sir, you are good straight man

JustinSane07

You both cheated. I clicked the link in the e-mail. The web archive is a cheater.

Medopine

No, we just time traveled a bit

Gosling

Why... that's not an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals. That's not an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals at ALL!

Silas Brown

Gosling wrote: »

Why... that's not an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals. That's not an open source competition for the discovery of new nutraceuticals at ALL!

That seems like it would be a failure on your part, Dan.

ilmmad

This one is awesome:

Dirrect MMPP3! wrote:

Dear Sir/Modam,. Really tired of seeking for mp3?
Enough !

- Magnificent music collection: over 40,000 albums!!
- All styles of mp3: world chart hits, classic and unrelased music.
- Only complete mp3 albums, photos and lyrics.
- Singers and groups boigraphy
- The best relases every time
Can't belive ? Try and enjoy :
http://guevaraobelindaspvlj.blogspot.com/2008/11/test-evening-26-11.html?aff 1

bowen

ilmmad wrote: »

This one is awesome:

Dirrect MMPP3! wrote:

Dear Sir/Modam,. Really tired of seeking for mp3?
Enough !

- Magnificent music collection: over 40,000 albums!!
- All styles of mp3: world chart hits, classic and unrelased music.
- Only complete mp3 albums, photos and lyrics.
- Singers and groups boigraphy
- The best relases every time
Can't belive ? Try and enjoy :
http://guevaraobelindaspvlj.blogspot.com/2008/11/test-evening-26-11.html?aff 1

Test evening... 26-11

Joke )) tomorrow i wish about large dog. Can readers tell about it?

Smurph

When I was an intern I used to get email meant for another guy at my company with the same name. The thing is, he was a very high level manager overseeing part of the construction of a new aircraft carrier, and I was a lowly intern who didn't know anything. God knows how many security rules those people broke without knowing it.

Greg USN

Smurph wrote: »

When I was an intern I used to get email meant for another guy at my company with the same name. The thing is, he was a very high level manager overseeing part of the construction of a new aircraft carrier, and I was a lowly intern who didn't know anything. God knows how many security rules those people broke without knowing it.

I sent an email to the wrong person the other day thinking it was our Chief Staff Officer with the same name. It was all unclass on an unclass machine but embarasing none the less.

Tav

Aurin

Greg USN wrote: »

Smurph wrote: »

When I was an intern I used to get email meant for another guy at my company with the same name. The thing is, he was a very high level manager overseeing part of the construction of a new aircraft carrier, and I was a lowly intern who didn't know anything. God knows how many security rules those people broke without knowing it.

I sent an email to the wrong person the other day thinking it was our Chief Staff Officer with the same name. It was all unclass on an unclass machine but embarasing none the less.

When I was a Staff Sergeant in the Air Force, I got an email with info on someone's disciplinary action... turns out they were looking for the Chief with the same last name as me. Funnily enough, we had nowhere near the same first name.

Tofystedeth

I got a spam email once, from an "Eric Yazzie"
The subject was simply - SuzettePhallusImportant
The body - Walloping Cock Althea

ilmmad

Tav wrote: »

Up in them guts.

bowen

Someone who has a tree penis probably has a hard time wearing those pants anyways.

RandomEngy

Maybe people have seen it already, but I love Spamusement. The concept is you draw an illustration based off of a spam subject line.

Some of my favorites:

Are your doctors too far away
Impress the Females
you are so good to me eggplant mike
slay them all
Bug Message
Guess Who Is Coming to Town
Are you man enough for this
stop that bending
we talked about this
why your computer is running slow
We have located several horny women in your area!
LOOK AT ME IM RICH
We have your medicine
An Email From God!
Troy Powell, Checking in

Erchamion

This was an actual e-mail from my boss' e-mail account that I received about a minute after he was done fiddling with his phone at lunch one day.

All,

I love elbows. From now on elbows will need to be cleaned and inspected by me before entry to the office can be granted.

Also, no more sock caps in the office.

Turns out he forgot to lock his computer, but there were a few moments of "WTF" before he realized what we were giggling about.

tallgeeze

Erchamion wrote: »

This was an actual e-mail from my boss' e-mail account that I received about a minute after he was done fiddling with his phone at lunch one day.

All,

I love elbows. From now on elbows will need to be cleaned and inspected by me before entry to the office can be granted.

Also, no more sock caps in the office.

Turns out he forgot to lock his computer, but there were a few moments of "WTF" before he realized what we were giggling about.

Sounds pretty legit to me. Who wouldn't like a manager that cares that much about their employees?