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How to meet geeks and alienate everybody else.
Charismaismydumpstat
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, I feel strange about asking for help on this sort of thing, as if I should be able to do this on my own. But ultimately, you chaps deal out some fairly sound advice from time to time and thems as donts asks donts gets, so to speak.
My problem is that I don’t know how to find other geeks, with whom I could share my passions.
I enjoy reading literature and science fiction/fantasy novels, playing roleplaying and strategy video games, playing pen and paper roleplaying games (in theory, I don’t actually have a group,) reading comic books, graphic novels and manga. I’m keen on culty films. If I had friends to play them with, I might look into playing MMORPGs. My problem is that all of these things are the sort of things that one does alone and in a darkened room. I am sure there are lots of other people out there who like to do these things, but they are all also doing these things alone and in a darkened room.
The problem is further compounded by my situation; I am eighteen years old, I don’t go to school and my work is barren of opportunity in this regard, so I do not have access to clubs or societies. Moreover, I am looking to make friends with these sorts of people who are slightly older than me, as I seem to be much older, in terms of maturity and what I look for from my friends, than my peers.
Specific problems I have encountered are that the people who I am able to find are all very much older than me, often in their late thirties and forties, whereas I am really looking for people who are closer to mine own, mental age.
Honestly, this isn’t a major drama for me. I am happy leading a fairly solitary existence and feel that I am well on the way to leading a fulfilling and meaningful life, I only think that it would also be nice to be able to share some of my passions with people who love the same things that I do, and maybe make out with some of those people if it comes to that.
My next move, after unsuccessfully looking for a gaming group, will be to get in touch with some students of a local university, who runs lots of clubs that I would be keen to attend and see how strict they are about letting people of similar age, backgrounds and interests, but who are not actually attending said university, hang out with them.
This is a fairly complex issue, and I seem to be wandering all over it, so I shall end here with a recap and one somewhat offbeat question.
I like [geeky stuff listed above] and want to meet other people who like [geeky stuff listed above] what advice can you give me to help me meet these sorts of people?
Supposing that I did see a cute girl looking at a particular area of a bookshop that indicated that we had common interests, would it be totally intimidating and offensive to said girl if I were to wander over, strike up a conversation and if that went well, maybe give her my e-mail address? I suppose I hesitate from doing this for fear of becoming some sort of creepy stalker who stands in the fantasy literature section handing out contact details to anybody looking for a copy of A Game of Thrones.
Thank you for taking the time to help me out, I truly appreciate it.
My problem is that I don’t know how to find other geeks, with whom I could share my passions.
I enjoy reading literature and science fiction/fantasy novels, playing roleplaying and strategy video games, playing pen and paper roleplaying games (in theory, I don’t actually have a group,) reading comic books, graphic novels and manga. I’m keen on culty films. If I had friends to play them with, I might look into playing MMORPGs. My problem is that all of these things are the sort of things that one does alone and in a darkened room. I am sure there are lots of other people out there who like to do these things, but they are all also doing these things alone and in a darkened room.
The problem is further compounded by my situation; I am eighteen years old, I don’t go to school and my work is barren of opportunity in this regard, so I do not have access to clubs or societies. Moreover, I am looking to make friends with these sorts of people who are slightly older than me, as I seem to be much older, in terms of maturity and what I look for from my friends, than my peers.
Specific problems I have encountered are that the people who I am able to find are all very much older than me, often in their late thirties and forties, whereas I am really looking for people who are closer to mine own, mental age.
Honestly, this isn’t a major drama for me. I am happy leading a fairly solitary existence and feel that I am well on the way to leading a fulfilling and meaningful life, I only think that it would also be nice to be able to share some of my passions with people who love the same things that I do, and maybe make out with some of those people if it comes to that.
My next move, after unsuccessfully looking for a gaming group, will be to get in touch with some students of a local university, who runs lots of clubs that I would be keen to attend and see how strict they are about letting people of similar age, backgrounds and interests, but who are not actually attending said university, hang out with them.
This is a fairly complex issue, and I seem to be wandering all over it, so I shall end here with a recap and one somewhat offbeat question.
I like [geeky stuff listed above] and want to meet other people who like [geeky stuff listed above] what advice can you give me to help me meet these sorts of people?
Supposing that I did see a cute girl looking at a particular area of a bookshop that indicated that we had common interests, would it be totally intimidating and offensive to said girl if I were to wander over, strike up a conversation and if that went well, maybe give her my e-mail address? I suppose I hesitate from doing this for fear of becoming some sort of creepy stalker who stands in the fantasy literature section handing out contact details to anybody looking for a copy of A Game of Thrones.
Thank you for taking the time to help me out, I truly appreciate it.
Charismaismydumpstat on
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Replace email address with phone number. This is what people do. Go for it.
Just a word of warning though, just because a girl accepts your phone number and makes plans to hang out with you does not mean she wants to date you.
This ^^^
l l l
I moves to Calgary a while ago and was having problems adjusting till i found a D & D group on there. After 2-3 meet ups to play at the local hobby store I had a small group of friends that share the same interests. Made living here much easier.
I shall stalk with confidence from now on then.
I have come across meetup.com. Honestly, it seemed uncomfortably along the lines of, "Let's use [this subject] as an excuse to get sloshed." and, in my area, seems exclusively populated by people over the age of thirty five.
I'll ask around at bookstores though.
Thank you, once again for all of your advice.
To be fair, there's nothing wrong with that. But hunt around, you might not find say, a D &D or comic group, but look for movie clubs, as those seem to be pretty popular, and also tend to have a few geeks. Or book clubs as well.
And maybe craiglist? Your mileage might vary, but I believe there's a "friends and platonics" section.
I had a look at that this evening, and another similar website.
It was pretty creepy to say the least. There were possibly one or two adverts that looked legitimate, or weren't just thinly veiled propositions, but the overwhelming lunacy surrounding them removes any sort of confidence that one might be able to have in them. Honestly, I am not sure if the potential reward of meeting a cool person is worth the risk of exposing myself to somebody who is much more likely to be utterly bonkers.
Thank you for the recommendation though. You did warn me, and weren't to know that it would be so particularly awful in this instance. I'll give it a bit of thought. I might actually reply to some of the sane ones if I am suddenly struck by reckless abandon.
Really, this is one of the reasons that I am having so much difficulty with this. It's like the Cam, you think that some of the people there might be cool, but you don't want to deal with all of the people who actually believe that they are vampires, y'know?
Definitely pursue that.
Improvolone beat me to it, but yeah, post an ad yourself. Be upfront with what you're looking for. It's worked for me actually, with no crazy emails.
Oh yeah, and Uni societies are a good idea - I have joined a couple without being a student, no problem. However, they can be a bit dispiriting as your geeky friends graduate and leave every few years.
Good luck with this. I'm struggling with the same thing in New Orleans, only instead of just finishing HS, I'm just finishing college. And ive been so socially isolated due to grad school, I don't know where to go even though I've lived the city until i was 18 (I moved back when i was 23 for grad school). Keep us updated, maybe you'll inspire others such as myself.
Also, I used meetup in NYC. It was okay - but i think it may be a bit better for medium-sized cities. I used it recently in New Orleans and found a nice group of people into wine and wine tasting and crap. So there are a few gems in there besides the "Attractive Singles Group who are Actually Not Attractive At All" meetup group...
That's too bad for your area. My region has more athletic types of things than that..