It's pssibly happening again :(

Nakatomi2010

Many moons ago I made a post here about my wife having a miscarriage...

She got pregnant again, most unexpectedly, though when one has sex without a condom it should be expected....

So anyways, unfortunatly she's started to see a pinkish color in her urine again, to her this seems much like deja vu... So, I post here asking for thoughts and advice... She says she's about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant, if I remember correctly, and we do have a doctor's appointment set up and we'll be calling in the morning to bump it up sooner if possible, though my wife figures they wont be able to do anything...


Our first experience was at a birthing center (No real doctors, so not an entirely good experience, but her decision), this time we'rdoing the doctor thing start to finish... The first time they said something about the baby not implanting in the right spot, which is her current fear right now...


So... Thoughts, opinions... We cannot afford to go to the emergency room again, so please don't suggest that... And again, doctoring up is on the menu, I'm looking for "now" comments...

Please...

Hahnsoo1

Right now, you'll have to sit tight and be anxious. This is pretty much what happens with all pregnancies, but especially with a past miscarriage. If she says she's about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant, then there is a risk of an ectopic tubal pregnancy, but these tend to present with abdominal pain. How soon is your next OB visit? If it's within the next few days, I'd sit tight and wait until then. If she gets abdominal pain or is bleeding (enough for her to use pads, like her period), then you need to go sooner (as in, NOW!). If the next visit is next week or something... well, you'll have to be anxious until then. I don't know what else to tell you, if you don't want to go to the ER. In any case, if you have an OB or family doc right now, you should call or e-mail about it.

An abdominal ultrasound can confirm the presence (or absence) of an ectopic at around 8 weeks. Also, most doctors perform a beta HCG test to make sure the levels are appropriately rising.

Nakatomi2010

Jan 6th is her OB appointment... She is having some abdominal pain, though is debating between it being pregnancy related or bad gas...

Me no likes the waiting game... Me really no like seeing my wife upset... Especially when there's nothing I can do to comfort her properly... Damn my inability to emote...

Hahnsoo1

Umm. I hate to say this, but you probably should take her to the ER or an urgent care center. At the very least, get a walk-in appointment with her OB/primary care physician tomorrow (not "schedule an appointment tomorrow"... go in and sit there and wait tomorrow). If she has spotting (pink urine) or active bleeding, has abdominal pain, and is in the right window of opportunity... I'll just say, if it were my significant other, I'd take her to the ER.

Just to emphasize, ruptured ectopic tubal pregnancies are the leading cause of death for pregnancy-related deaths in the first trimester. Serious stuff.

Nakatomi2010

Me thinks we're freaking out over nothing on the abodminal pain front... :S

Hahnsoo1

Nakatomi2010 wrote: »

Me thinks we're freaking out over nothing on the abodminal pain front... :S

I hope, for her sake and yours, that you are correct.

HK5

A combination of blood in the urine and abdominal pain could potentially be a lot more than nothing. Does she know of any other local obstetricians that she can call to see if they have a last minute cancellation for a quicker appointment?

Nakatomi2010

Doing that first thing in the morning... It's not full out blood, it's just pinkish... She just went pee a minute ago and it looks clean again, and her pains have left, so it's honestly hit or miss right now apparently...


Can't afford to go to the emergency room...

Virum

Many ERs will treat regardless of ability to pay, look for some catholic hospitals.

Blake T

What has she been eating?

Typically pee tainted with blood is a lot darker.

I had a friend that went to the emergency room and it was because he ate a lot of beetroot.

Regardless though especially since she is pregnant you should see a doctor.

Have you called you doctor and actually explained the situation to him? Call the hospital, tell them why you need to talk to him immediately and don't take no for an answer, just remember to be polite and firm.

Ninyu

Maybe she just has a UTI? You should get that treated ASAP as well as that can affect the embryo.

Djeet

Did you call the OB/GYN? Usually they are quite responsive, as in they'll talk to you/her if there's concern and will take pains to fit you in as early as possible if they think there's something wrong or if she's freaking out. Is there an US scheduled for the next visit?

Call them whenever you have any concerns, they are used to it.

It's important to help her not freak out. Her being stressed over something increases the likelihood of her losing the pregnancy.

My wife often would have a little blood in the urine all throughout the pregnancy and our guy popped out fine. Good luck.

JohnnyCache

Nakatomi2010 wrote: »

Many moons ago I made a post here about my wife having a miscarriage...

She got pregnant again, most unexpectedly, though when one has sex without a condom it should be expected....

So anyways, unfortunatly she's started to see a pinkish color in her urine again, to her this seems much like deja vu... So, I post here asking for thoughts and advice... She says she's about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant, if I remember correctly, and we do have a doctor's appointment set up and we'll be calling in the morning to bump it up sooner if possible, though my wife figures they wont be able to do anything...


Our first experience was at a birthing center (No real doctors, so not an entirely good experience, but her decision), this time we'rdoing the doctor thing start to finish... The first time they said something about the baby not implanting in the right spot, which is her current fear right now...


So... Thoughts, opinions... We cannot afford to go to the emergency room again, so please don't suggest that... And again, doctoring up is on the menu, I'm looking for "now" comments...

Please...

Are you guys legally married? It's almost easier if you aren'to_O, but if you're too poor for the e-room, you should be able to get aid for mothers or whatever they call it where you live...also, most pre natal/obgyn guys have an emergency number, it's probably on the machine at his office or his staff will have it.

peil

I went through this very thing not two weeks ago - and all I can say is get her checked asap - Abdominal pain and spotting this early in pregnancy are highly likely to point to something not right.
She needs an ultrasound to check for an ectopic pregnancy, if it goes unchecked and that's what it is you're no longer talking about miscarriage, you are looking at a life threatening situation.

As for being unable to afford emergency treatment, I'm sorry but this is non-negotiable.

Damn the US may be a superpower, but how the hell can any civilised society put people in the position they cannot get basic medical attention...

Magus`

Well, there are free clinics, but they aren't everywhere.

I'm sure there is SOME organization though that will be willing to help.

Also, I thought you complained about condoms breaking in your other thread. Now you say you don't use them. I am confused!

JohnnyCache

Virum wrote: »

Many ERs will treat regardless of ability to pay, look for some catholic hospitals.

Actually ALL PUBLIC ERs HAVE TO treat people in almost every place in the US. They just run the meter while they do it, and collect when they can.

It's a secondary problem, actually, that people bring non-emergencies to ERs because they can't get a afford a private GP, so the ERs have to triage rather savagely and tend to be bogged down.

Derpan

DVG

Virum wrote: »

Many ERs will treat regardless of ability to pay, look for some catholic hospitals.

They will, however, still bill you, regardless of your ability to pay.

JohnnyCache

Derpan wrote: »

Even though this makes me laugh every time I see it, seriously what are you, a shithead?

Magus`

JohnnyCache wrote: »

Derpan wrote: »

Even though this makes me laugh every time I see it, seriously what are you, a shithead?

Not to derail, but can someone explain this to me? Is there a joke I'm missing?

DVG

Magus` wrote: »

JohnnyCache wrote: »

Derpan wrote: »

Even though this makes me laugh every time I see it, seriously what are you, a shithead?

Not to derail, but can someone explain this to me? Is there a joke I'm missing?

In said comic, the girlfriend of the character pictured has had a miscarriage.

And it's certainly not a joke.

Magus`

It was explained to me. Just wasn't sure what the point of it was.

Nakatomi2010

Derpan, that is not funny... I do not appreciate that as that does remind me of the first miscarriage she had... As it did essentialyl go down like that, I had to drive her while she was hemorraghing blood to the hospital (Can't afford ambulance ride), basically push her out the door at the emergency room at which point a crap load of blood began to pour out, much like a scene from a horror movie, while I had to go park the car and rush back into the hospital, then be forced to waiting in a waiting room while she's bleeding out with a towel covering from where, for about 15 minutes or so until they could get her into a bed, where upon I was not allowed to go back and see her for another 30 minutes or so, probably the most nerve racking 30 minutes of my life, next to when we got transferred to a different hospital and they performed a DNC on her, that the the most nerve racking 2 hours of my life...

Don't post that type of shit in a thread like this.

Condom breaking thread from before is because my wife and I were having fun with another girl, but toned it down when we found out she was pregnant... I don't use them on my wife, but on this other chick I do.... We chose to try having threesomes as a way of having fun after the above incident... Just frivolous fun that we could both have that would help distract us...

We tried to bump up the appointment we had with an OB/GYN, however after waiting for 15 minutes for them to turn on their phone service at 8:30am, when they supposedly opened, being disconnected twice, transfered to their "emergency nurse" voicemail twice (Which had a recording saying they get back to you by 5pm if messages are left before 3pm), we decided to contact a different one and go to them, which has set up an apointment for her first thing in the morning, she's currently at her mother's resting over night and will go see the doc at like 10:45 or something, especially considring the OB is near her mothers...

Overall though, I'm certainly unhappy as we only have one car, so I had to walk home for two hours tonight while trying not to stress my wife out making things worse, and I have to walk to work for two hours again in the morning....

*sigh*

I don't want to go through this shit again... It crippled us financially the first time, and will destroy us this time, let alone leaving my wife emotionally destroyed and probably not wanting to try again...


Thank you for your words, I'm gonna try and update this after the appointment tomorrow just so I don't leave you all hanging... Just a very sad thing to have happen, again...

Hobbit0815

Off topic, you shouldn't be having threesomes to make up for losing a child.

But anyway.. Definitely get her checked. It doesn't sound good.

Edit: And it definitely doesn't sound like you guys should be -trying- again, if this is another miscarriage, for a long time. You don't sound financially stable or emotionally stable to handle a child. I'm sorry for your loss. Things will look up, you guys need to depend on one another instead of other things to distract you.

Sentry

Hobbit0815 wrote: »

Off topic, you shouldn't be having threesomes to make up for losing a child.

Sorry, I was just wondering what the Hobbit0815 approved method was for coping with the loss of a child. You know, for future reference.

Hobbit0815

Sentry wrote: »

Hobbit0815 wrote: »

Off topic, you shouldn't be having threesomes to make up for losing a child.

Sorry, I was just wondering what the Hobbit0815 approved method was for coping with the loss of a child. You know, for future reference.

Well, how I would 'cope' is mourn it and move on. Life is life. Life begins, life ends. I'm not saying he shouldn't indulge in threesomes, I'm saying it's wrong for him to avoid the fact that he -lost a child- by doing the aforementioned. He shouldn't be distracting himself from it, he should be dealing with it, it's the only way you can move on is to accept it, not avoid it. That's all I'm saying. This isn't a debate, this is off topic. This was my only point for that subject. I didn't mean to offend you.

Pheezer

Just to stem the flood of complaints about Derpan's post, yes it's completely inappropriate, yes he's been given a warning on that via the infraction system, and no, he won't be doing that in H/A any more.

Also can we please stay on topic.

mellestad

Yea, same thing happened to my wife twice. Once turned out fine, once was an early miscarriage.

When I read about it I found that 1st trimester miscarriages are actually very common, something like 20%. Most people just don't notice it because it can happen early. Our OBGYN told us that if it happens three times in a row there may be a problem, and four times in a row there almost certainly is, but twice in a row is not really very unusual.

And unfortunately, you can't do anything about it. They recommend taking it easy but the research I read said that did not actually do much more than help keep everyone calm. This is all internal stuff, often the body is intentionally causing the miscarriage because of an anomaly, sometimes it is just a bad implant, or physical trauma, but most often the body eliminating a bad start.

It can be tough for your wife, but try to make sure she understands it is not uncommon, it is nothing she is doing wrong (unless she is drinking, drugging and getting punched in the belly). If she does miscarriage you can see about visiting a specialist, but everything I read said try three times first.

I know what you mean though, we had a 2k bill for taking my wife to the emergency room the first time she started spotting, about 1.5 months in, and that is with good insurance. Good luck.

BetelguesePDX

Early first trimester spotting is common (the pink tinge in urine may be indicative of spotting or it may be something else entirely). If there is some abdominal discomfort, then I wouldn't worry. If it is actually significant abdominal pain, or pain similar to menstrual cramps, then yes, worry. Either way you have an OB appointment lined up this morning which is good.

For what its worth, first trimester miscarriages are nature's way of weeding out embryos that would not be viable to begin with. Most first trimester fetuses that are miscarried have genetic anomalies that would be incompatible with life later on in the pregnancy or even at birth. I know this is probably small consolation but think of it as less pain (emotional and physical) now rather than much worse in the future.

precisionk

Sorry to hear about the situation Naka. Nothing something anyone wants to go through. How old are you and your wife by chance?

My grandma had roughly four miscarriages before she had my dad and then had my late uncle. Mind you she was some 40 years of age but she got it done. While I can only imagine how you are feeling, definitely keep spirits high and know that if you keep trying, it will happen.

Soggychicken

It's sad to hear that money becomes a factor before medical treatment in your country. I've always known that about the States but hearing a story like this puts it into a completely different context. Best of luck to you, your wife, and the baby.

Nakatomi2010

To answer your question precisionk, we're both 24.

And yes soggychicken, having healthcare you pay for in the manner blows. Being Canadian by birth I'm used to being able to walk into somewhere and getting help typically when you need it, but there's also huge waiting lists at hospitals and high taxes as well to balance it out... Stateside we have the ability to get a doctor's appointment within a week typically, in Canada it can take a month... Obama should be, supposedly, helping to solve this problem, he actually seems on top of it. But that's netiher here nor there.


The result of the doctor's appointment was more or less inconclusive, they said everything looked and felt alright, but that it's really too soon to tell anything useful... Apprently it looks like its 5 weeks along though.

So yeah... So far so, hopefully good

PolloDiablo

I haven't got any advice, I just wanted to wish you luck. I'm glad the doctor said that it might be ok.

VThornheart

Aye, I hope it turns out okay Naka =(

peil

Fingers crossed, I really hope it turns out OK for you guys.

We have a scan on the 7th, following on from the emergency one a couple of weeks ago, and even though everythings supposed to be OK....

Penguin_Otaku

I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

Nakatomi2010

So, I'm raising this from the ashes to give you guys a bit of an update...

Wife had an ultrasound today, everything seems to be going perfectly fine, it looks like we experienced what's referred to as Vanishing Twins, or some such, which basically my men managed to get two eggs. However, one of the two died, the other is moving on strong... The little picture the wife brought home has a head, torso and feet... Looks very odd, kinda creepy, but sure as day the little bugger's there...

So it would seem that the blood and such is most likely related to the other fella not making it, but hay, as someone else said, two miscarriages are normal, and the third one takes... We had the second and third in the same run...

So, happy news overall, if not a little odd what with the two to one thing going on....

But yeah... There's the update, thanks for the concern and happy thoughts, so far so good... Only another 7 months to go... And next week she goes to Texas alone... Ultrasound person said everything looks good though...

VThornheart

Hey, that's great news! (Well, if you guys were hoping to have a kid of course) Congrats!

It is unfortunate that the second one didn't make it, but it could be that it had to happen in order for the other to live. I would definitely look at it as good news. Yay!

pinenut_canary

Congratulations.

Topweasel

Just think of it this way Survival of the fittest. Its disappointing to lose one egg/embryo but at least you live better knowing that chances are that the baby that pops out is top notch as it went all Xavier on its competition. Sorry if it seems I am taking it lightly I am not. Just trying to say that for what ever reason physically this egg was found to be superior, its a bit savage but its not you its nature.

brandotheninjamaster

Congrats man.

As a dad that has been through similar situations 3 times before (ectopic pregnancies) I know the pain and I know what a relief it must be to find out everything is going good. Best of luck.