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That's one Suave Motherfucker

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Posts

  • FCDFCD Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    So the lady from the bus emailed me and was like "Yeah I'd love to get coffee, but only as friends. Cool?"

    Do I put it in the butt y/n

    Also, should I have sex with a fat chick this weekend? I weigh 110 and she's more or less built like a line backer. (I haven't had sex in a long long time)

    Is she nice looking in the facial area? Cuz a girl can be large sized and still be quite pretty, is what I'm sayin'.

    FCD on
    Gridman! Baby DAN DAN! Baby DAN DAN!
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Air wrote: »
    Javen wrote: »
    driving in the city, any city, is usually a bad idea.

    Buy a bike or learn the bus routes. preferably both.

    There are a lot of places in L.A. where public transpo just does not go. And others that require switching between subways and buses and just generally takes four times longer than even sitting in traffic.

    L.A.'s public transportation blows.

    I bet you Sydney's is on par if not worse.

    did you hear the great bit about cityrail in the past week

    like they were aiming for peak hour trains to be 5% overloaded or something like that this year
    so its a bit uncomfortable

    but results just came in saying that the trains in 2008 were 16% overloaded

    and theyre like
    okay lets retroactively change our target from 5% to 17% so we can say we did a good job

    It sounds about right. Really, I'm not surprised.

    Also congrats to them scrapping the North-West metro.

    Yes there are actually people who live in North-West Sydney. Several hundred thousand in fact.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Is this thread about me? I'm too suave to bother reading the OP.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    why do people say don't look a gift horse in the mouth


    that's how troy fell people

    Kusuguttai on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    why do people say don't look a gift horse in the mouth


    that's how troy fell people

    No that was "gift horse in the anus"

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    If you folks ever want to impress the ladies, be funny, be smart. That will put you leagues and miles ahead of any pretty boy asshole that shows up. Women-- women of quality, anyways-- dig a man that has a personality. That goes a long way, especially when you're both drunk and the party is winding down.

    Also, be attractive. That's more up to God than it is to you, though.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    If you folks ever want to impress the ladies, be funny, be smart. That will put you leagues and miles ahead of any pretty boy asshole that shows up. Women-- women of quality, anyways-- dig a man that has a personality. That goes a long way, especially when you're both drunk and the party is winding down.

    Also, be attractive. That's more up to God than it is to you, though.

    who died and made you lord of the women

    Kusuguttai on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Imma lady killer

    Projeck on
  • BlackCloudBlackCloud Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Extra strength roofies?

    BlackCloud on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    If you folks ever want to impress the ladies, be funny, be smart. That will put you leagues and miles ahead of any pretty boy asshole that shows up. Women-- women of quality, anyways-- dig a man that has a personality. That goes a long way, especially when you're both drunk and the party is winding down.

    Also, be attractive. That's more up to God than it is to you, though.

    who died and made you lord of the women
    The queen I fucked on New Years.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    BlackCloud wrote: »
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Extra strength roofies?

    Well, I believe she was either sitting on my lap or laying on top of me in bed when she initially said that so...

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Projeck wrote: »
    Imma lady killer

    perfect murder thread :arrow:

    DarkPrimus on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I mean the gay man I fucked, of course.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    BlackCloud wrote: »
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Extra strength roofies?

    Well, I believe she was either sitting on my lap or laying on top of me in bed when she initially said that so...
    sounds like some serious denial on her part but man who wouldn't want to fuck you, right??

    only dykes

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'm like yeah you know you want this

    And then they are mine

    Projeck on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    BlackCloud wrote: »
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Extra strength roofies?

    Well, I believe she was either sitting on my lap or laying on top of me in bed when she initially said that so...
    sounds like some serious denial on her part but man who wouldn't want to fuck you, right??

    only dykes

    Yeah, I mean, she could barely get the words out between her heavy breaths of desire.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.
    At the very least, you two are going to fuck.

    Pro Tip.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.
    At the very least, you two are going to fuck.

    Pro Tip.

    Yeah at very very least.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2009
    sex with captain cthulhu seems like it would be a daunting experience for a lady

    like climbing everest


    then having sex with it

    Kusuguttai on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.
    what's the necklace

    is it a pair of people having tons of sex

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    one time I told this dude "hey you're pretty nifty"

    and he was all "oh hey you're pretty nifty too"

    smoooooooooooooooooth like buttah

    Vixx on
    6cd6kllpmhb0.jpeg
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.
    what's the necklace

    is it a pair of people having tons of sex

    Its an octopus but she says it looks like a cthulhu head. I wonder why that would make her think of me......

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • BlackCloudBlackCloud Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    If you folks ever want to impress the ladies, be funny, be smart. That will put you leagues and miles ahead of any pretty boy asshole that shows up. Women-- women of quality, anyways-- dig a man that has a personality. That goes a long way, especially when you're both drunk and the party is winding down.

    Also, be attractive. That's more up to God than it is to you, though.

    who died and made you lord of the women
    The queen I fucked on New Years.

    Queen-Latifah.jpg

    ?

    BlackCloud on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I would fuck the living shit out of Queen Latifah.

    Look at that chick's rack.

    LOOK AT IT

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.
    what's the necklace

    is it a pair of people having tons of sex

    Its an octopus but she says it looks like a cthulhu head. I wonder why that would make her think of me......
    is it because of your pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    She totally sent me this picture today of her in this cute as hell little nighty, wearing a necklace that she's told me reminds her of me and I can't stop looking at it. I think I'm in love guys.
    what's the necklace

    is it a pair of people having tons of sex

    Its an octopus but she says it looks like a cthulhu head. I wonder why that would make her think of me......
    is it because of your pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings

    Well it made me wonder because the only place I use this name is here on the forums, but I hadn't thought of all that, you must be right.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Man, part of the dance is always "I swear, I never do this sort of thing"

    Poorochondriac on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    This one time this girl was all "I'm totally not going to sleep with you" and I was like "oh, no problem, that's cool. I mean, I want to, but if you don't want to that's perfectly okay."

    24 hours later we had done it a total of six times.

    Man, part of the dance is always "I swear, I never do this sort of thing"

    HAhaha, you couldn't be more right.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    really pooro

    tell us more about the dance

    what else can you determine about this person, I want to know what kind of girl is so lucky

    take notes

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I never do anything suave on purpose.

    Most girls end up thinking I am flirting with them and I'm just teasing them, when in reality I'm completely oblivious and just being nice.

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Also, the lady folk seem to like humility, shyness, and awkwardness. As long as you have a reign on that kind of thing, you're good to go.

    Nobody likes a braggart.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Also, the lady folk seem to like humility, shyness, and awkwardness. As long as you have a reign on that kind of thing, you're good to go.

    Nobody likes a braggart.

    Are you kidding? When you're just looking for a good fucking, most woman are looking for confidence, bravado, arrogance and swagger. Also, if they're especially hot, acting like you're too good for them is a sure fire way to end up with the hottest girl in the room. Seriously hot girls that would be down to fuck, one-night-stand style have serious self-esteem problems 95% of the time. Play off that and you'll be sneaking out of her bed in the morning in no time.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    god there's just too much to say right now

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    god there's just too much to say right now

    Poop

    Projeck on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Also, the lady folk seem to like humility, shyness, and awkwardness. As long as you have a reign on that kind of thing, you're good to go.

    Nobody likes a braggart.

    Are you kidding? When you're just looking for a good fucking, most woman are looking for confidence, bravado, arrogance and swagger. Also, if they're especially hot, acting like you're too good for them is a sure fire way to end up with the hottest girl in the room. Seriously hot girls that would be down to fuck, one-night-stand style have serious self-esteem problems 95% of the time. Play off that and you'll be sneaking out of her bed in the morning in no time.
    Am I just drunk or does this not make a whole heap of sense?

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    god there's just too much to say right now

    Hey, I'm a scumbag. What?

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    god there's just too much to say right now

    No need to say anything.

    We can just sit here together, and in the silence our eyes will tell everything.

    DarkPrimus on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    really pooro

    tell us more about the dance

    what else can you determine about this person, I want to know what kind of girl is so lucky

    take notes

    Really Kate

    Tell us more about broad generalizations used for comedic effect

    Poorochondriac on
This discussion has been closed.