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How do I seek help for mental issues?
ALTeRCaTION
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
First off, I don't think I'm crazy but I feel like I need help and I don't know how to bring it up to my parents without them simply dismissing it as me making excuses for myself.
I don't know where to start, but I'm nearly at the end of my 5 year CS program and I'm struggling just to pass my courses. But I know that I'm not stupid, it's not like I'm not capable of doing better. In fact, I'm one of the few people in my year who actually understands the material. People in my classes ask me for help when working on assignments and such, yet they come out of the classes with A's and B's and I come out with C's and F's.
I think my problem is that I just can't focus on my school work. Hell, I can't even focus on things that I love doing. I feel like I could lock myself in a white room with just a lamp, my books, and a mechanical pencil and before long I'll be playing with the lamp or clicking all the lead out of the pencil and muzzle loading it back in.
If not for my family history I would just think that is normal, so I guess I'll talk about that now. My mom and the rest of my family are 100% certain that had my father and his siblings been growing up now, every last one of them would have been diagnosed with some combinations ADD, ADHD, OCD, turrett's syndrome, or any of those 'semi-related' disorders. One of his sisters was actually diagnosed with a personality disorder (I can't recall the one) and she is not OK to live alone, so she lives with her mother.
I feel bad about even considering the possibility that I might have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder because my father worked his way though school and college and if I told him about it I feel like he'd say, "well I was able towork my way though school, so you should be able to too!"
He already thinks I'm just lazy and he's convinced that when I have allergies or asthma attacks that I'm just making it up to get out of doing work. I'm not usually one to complain unless something is really bad.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm sure everything I've been saying has been making him out to be some abusive dead-beat dad, but he's a great father and I wouldn't want to replace him with anyone or anything like that. I'm just afraid he won't take me seriously.
I'm sorry about the wall of text but I guess my question is:
How do I go about telling my parents that I think I have a problem, and what steps should I take to seek some kind of help?
I don't know where to start, but I'm nearly at the end of my 5 year CS program and I'm struggling just to pass my courses. But I know that I'm not stupid, it's not like I'm not capable of doing better. In fact, I'm one of the few people in my year who actually understands the material. People in my classes ask me for help when working on assignments and such, yet they come out of the classes with A's and B's and I come out with C's and F's.
I think my problem is that I just can't focus on my school work. Hell, I can't even focus on things that I love doing. I feel like I could lock myself in a white room with just a lamp, my books, and a mechanical pencil and before long I'll be playing with the lamp or clicking all the lead out of the pencil and muzzle loading it back in.
If not for my family history I would just think that is normal, so I guess I'll talk about that now. My mom and the rest of my family are 100% certain that had my father and his siblings been growing up now, every last one of them would have been diagnosed with some combinations ADD, ADHD, OCD, turrett's syndrome, or any of those 'semi-related' disorders. One of his sisters was actually diagnosed with a personality disorder (I can't recall the one) and she is not OK to live alone, so she lives with her mother.
I feel bad about even considering the possibility that I might have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder because my father worked his way though school and college and if I told him about it I feel like he'd say, "well I was able towork my way though school, so you should be able to too!"
He already thinks I'm just lazy and he's convinced that when I have allergies or asthma attacks that I'm just making it up to get out of doing work. I'm not usually one to complain unless something is really bad.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm sure everything I've been saying has been making him out to be some abusive dead-beat dad, but he's a great father and I wouldn't want to replace him with anyone or anything like that. I'm just afraid he won't take me seriously.
I'm sorry about the wall of text but I guess my question is:
How do I go about telling my parents that I think I have a problem, and what steps should I take to seek some kind of help?
ALTeRCaTION on
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I can't offer much advice about how to tell your parents, other than to be up front about it. If you think you're going to need meds, though, it's important to see a psychiatrist first. Seeing a psychologist won't help you that much since they can't prescribe meds, and will instead recommend you to a shrink.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Also: where are you? In Australia you can get a healthcare rebate for psychologists now, so their sessions actually cost a reasonable amount of money.
Depression/Anxiety disorders runs in my family on mum’s side, but everyone sees me as the calm, high achiever, stable and happy one.
I guess it was hard for me to tell them (partially because of pride and partially just thinking they would tell me to "suck it up and get over it" or "your not that bad, look at your uncle" (he has depression and has not sort good help, now he sleeps all day and is pretty much a hermit.)
So after I broke up with my ex (mostly because of issues I created in the relationship and he wasn't good for me) I kinda hit a wall about 4-5 weeks in to being alone. I had a very public, very scary, anxiety attack. Thought I was dying to be honest! It felt like a heart attack.
When I was in hospital (alone) I realised I can't do it, simply couldn't keep up the facade any longer (it was destroying everything and mostly, me.)I sort a councillor through work (we have a free service for support) and he recommended a physc (I see warrick once a week now, soon I can do monthly as I am making good progress, more if I’m having a bad time of things though.)
So my advise is DON'T leave it to long and have to loose people you love, hurt friends and family and start to loose control at uni, work or life. Go to your work or uni health service (don't be scare, no one will judge you and if they do they can fuck off cause one day when they need a little help they will understand your situation better and feel like shit.)
Also give your parents some credit, they may surprise you and even if they don't understand 100% (they love you) so let some of what they say slide off your back. Also tell them in a real, serious, alone type situation. Don't joke around to cover up your hurt etc.
Good Luck, update us...
"So alternate, against the grain, anti establishment - so you're just a regular joe again, right?"
I opted out of the school's health and dental, so I don't know if that means I can talk to them about it?
Sorry I forgot to mention but I'm in Canada. Do you think this would be something that's covered by public healthcare, or would it be some kind of exception? The last thing I want to do at this point is to ask my parents to spend more money on me. . .
I'm double quoting it because this is the best option I believe...I just recently used them as in yesterday and they were a great help
And even if you opt out of medical, you can usually opt back in (there may be a waiting period however, that is how it works here in Australian universities) but you may be able to get assistance, speak to them (you dont need to go into detail just tell them your unwell and need help.)
"So alternate, against the grain, anti establishment - so you're just a regular joe again, right?"
You need to definitely do it while it is bothering you cause I just drank my way through college and ended up failing out. Its better to resolve it soon, and I know my doctor is already involved and wants to run some bloodwork just to ensure nothing is out of wonk.
Personally I found the hardest thing to do was admit I don't think I can resolve these issues on my own, that takes some doing but my father would do something like what you are doing so he will not know about this, my mother supports my decision fully however.
Good luck dude.