The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Improving people/communication skills
starlancerii
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So fairly recently, I started a job. Half of this job is very technical, I do analyses of data that comes my way. The other part is talking to clients, other teams within the company, generally either gathering information from various sources or communicating the current problems to others.
So far, I really like my job - I'm *really* good at the first part, especially given that I've only just started. The second part.... needs help.
Background on myself: I'm a really introverted guy, I'm not very big on making small talk, I prefer just listening to an interesting conversation than also joining in. That being said, I don't have any problems giving presentations - just that I need to practice and prepare myself. I think my problems can be divided up into two aspects:
1) I'm just really bad at making small talk. The whole, being likable and not being the silent guy sitting in the back all the time. Like when I meet somebody for the first time, I really don't know what to say.
2) When talking to somebody about some complex subject, I can perfectly understand the issue but unable to effectively communicate it. Essentially, I start talking, and there's lots of content, but what I'm saying has no structure. If I had more time to prepare, there would be no problem, but usually I don't, and so this is a problem.
I want to get better at this. So far what I'm planning on trying is attending a couple toastmasters meetings, as well as just chatting with people more, and see if that helps, but does anybody else have any other suggestions?
So far, I really like my job - I'm *really* good at the first part, especially given that I've only just started. The second part.... needs help.
Background on myself: I'm a really introverted guy, I'm not very big on making small talk, I prefer just listening to an interesting conversation than also joining in. That being said, I don't have any problems giving presentations - just that I need to practice and prepare myself. I think my problems can be divided up into two aspects:
1) I'm just really bad at making small talk. The whole, being likable and not being the silent guy sitting in the back all the time. Like when I meet somebody for the first time, I really don't know what to say.
2) When talking to somebody about some complex subject, I can perfectly understand the issue but unable to effectively communicate it. Essentially, I start talking, and there's lots of content, but what I'm saying has no structure. If I had more time to prepare, there would be no problem, but usually I don't, and so this is a problem.
I want to get better at this. So far what I'm planning on trying is attending a couple toastmasters meetings, as well as just chatting with people more, and see if that helps, but does anybody else have any other suggestions?
starlancerii on
0
Posts
The book is fucking brilliant and pretty much has chapters for exactly what you are talking about.
Any advice other than to read this book?
Take improv classes?
Graduating above that, you could simply ask the person about themselves. Open people will love to talk about themselves, and even shy people may become more talkative if prompted to talk about things they like.
Furthermore, have opinions on things or stories to tell. That lets you get in on conversations.
Lastly, remember that other people may be shy too. And, like you, they'd like to talk to people. So, just want to be the guy that initiates conversation.
What would you categorize this book under? Self help? Personal interest?
I think that improv could help with part 2 of the OP (depending on the teacher). One needs to learn to effortlessly communicate ideas to others, no matter how abstract or complicated, for a scene to work. I really don't think there are quick fixes here.
Explaining complex ideas to a layman is one of the hardest things. This is probably all in the many books on communication, but I find it useful to explain myself with pictures and down-to-earth examples. Make sure your audience has a chance to ask questions and take the time to answer them properly.
Small talk is hard for me too, if you have an interesting story to tell I'd be glad to listen, but just some talk about the weather quickly makes me feel bored. Try to smile and look people in the eyes (or failing that, look at their nose or between their eyes) shake their hand and say things like "hi, how are you doing?" and ask them about their work or where they're from. I usually dodge music, because that's a big hobby of mine, if people would start talking about that I just wouldn't shut up.
Seconded. TC must go to a poor improv club because in mine that kind of stuff is done for warmups before doing straight scenes. Sure made me a whole lot more confident about diving into conversations I'd normally think I was out of my depth on.
Alternatively, if I don't like the person and/or want them to go away so that I can actually fix the problem they are questioning me about, I will go full force technical on them and crush their puny mind! It is useful in certain situations. Why is it that the worse a software bug you are trying to fix (on a live 24/7 system), the more meetings are required to 'talk' about it. If it is such a huge deal, why do they (upper management) keep asking me questions every 4 friggin' hours!
Murphy's Paradox: The more you plan, the more that can go wrong. The less you plan, the less likely your plan will succeed.