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Feeling like Sylvia Plath (Making choices in life)
Sol Invictus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
..I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.
From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7
Plath, unfortunately, committed suicide.
So simply put, I've got my life ahead of me so I'm trying to decide what to do here. While I don't expect any easy answers, it would however make me feel comfortable for simply talking about it and seeking some opinions on the matter while I'm at it.
Now, I'm currently operating a moderately successful website with large potential for growth. I can keep doing this whenever I want, but suffice to say, getting a "real job" (whatever that means) would put a damper on whatever progress I'm liable to make with this venture.
I very recently turned down a job offer to do some SEO/web publishing gig at a local company due to logistical reasons (I don't like living in a polluted city with transport problems). However, the company's still interested in hiring me and this time I may only have to work from home, with the exception of making a monthly trip or so. I've no problem with that, and suffice to say, it's an interesting offer.
I'll grant you, the problem with taking up this job offer is that it may very well put a damper on my free time (I have to finish all my books!) and it'd certainly have an impact on how well I run my own website.
Now, I'm also considering taking up a BA in English. It's not something I'd get to get a job, but rather something I'd like to pursue out of passion for the subject. You know, reading, writing, literature and such. For awhile I considered taking up photography, but I don't know how truly satisfied I'd be with that.
In any case, I can't really decide what to do. My heart tells me that I'd like to make my website a phenomenal success and then subsequently pursue the degree in higher education. On one hand, it'd help me to become a better writer and a better publisher and that would certainly help. On the other hand, it'd cost a damn lot of money to pursue.
Thoughts?
From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7
Plath, unfortunately, committed suicide.
So simply put, I've got my life ahead of me so I'm trying to decide what to do here. While I don't expect any easy answers, it would however make me feel comfortable for simply talking about it and seeking some opinions on the matter while I'm at it.
Now, I'm currently operating a moderately successful website with large potential for growth. I can keep doing this whenever I want, but suffice to say, getting a "real job" (whatever that means) would put a damper on whatever progress I'm liable to make with this venture.
I very recently turned down a job offer to do some SEO/web publishing gig at a local company due to logistical reasons (I don't like living in a polluted city with transport problems). However, the company's still interested in hiring me and this time I may only have to work from home, with the exception of making a monthly trip or so. I've no problem with that, and suffice to say, it's an interesting offer.
I'll grant you, the problem with taking up this job offer is that it may very well put a damper on my free time (I have to finish all my books!) and it'd certainly have an impact on how well I run my own website.
Now, I'm also considering taking up a BA in English. It's not something I'd get to get a job, but rather something I'd like to pursue out of passion for the subject. You know, reading, writing, literature and such. For awhile I considered taking up photography, but I don't know how truly satisfied I'd be with that.
In any case, I can't really decide what to do. My heart tells me that I'd like to make my website a phenomenal success and then subsequently pursue the degree in higher education. On one hand, it'd help me to become a better writer and a better publisher and that would certainly help. On the other hand, it'd cost a damn lot of money to pursue.
Thoughts?
Sol Invictus on
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I suppose I do, yes. While I live in relative comfort right now, I'm not so sure what life would be like while I'm pursuing the subject, or after it. I'd probably have to work multiple jobs to stay on my feet as I wouldn't have any savings to fall back on at that point.
If that's the case would it be possible for you to continue to spend the same/less than you do right now, work at this new at home job for a year and save the money from it? Not sure how much it would pay in a year...but if it were in the range of $20k-30k you could quit after that, go to school and work part time while having a good savings.
While I'm sure it would be at least a little difficult, its probably less difficult than working multiple jobs and going to school.
Okay. Working multiple jobs would draw a lot of attention away from school, and if it's something you are doing for enjoyment, chances are it would detract from that.
You said you are living in relative comfort right now, so if I were you I'd begin putting away money to go to school. You aren't trying to get the degree for career purposes, so would it matter if you waited until you had suitable finances to go to school?
I'd recommend doing it before it becomes one of those, "Oh, I've always wanted to, BUT" sort of things. People with those are annoying.