Questiona about relationship and age...

Murago

I think i'm always worried about age, and I"m wondering if I should be. I'm going to be 24 in March. I definetly don't feel old, (and I actually believe that 30 is the new 20), but when it comes to girls, I always think about this. The reason I bring it up is b/c i've recently come into contact with this girl I met about 5 years ago apx. She lives in Las Vegas now, but she's visiting for some time, and she's 20 yrs old.

I really don't think anything is going to happen in a passionate setting, but when my mind does wander off into that subject, I keep thinking "no way, she's too young". Its weird b/c my dad was 30 when he married my mom at 22. I don't know, if anyone could bring some reason to my brain as to why I automatically think like this, it would be good. Its not the first time this has happened...and to be honest, I think I am more attracted to older women...

weird.

Endomatic

Her being 20 and you 24 is ABSOLUTELY fine.

If she was under 18, that'd be entirely different.

I don't think you have anything to be worried about.

My parents have 11 years difference. So my dad was 11 when my mother was born. 21 when she was 10. 30 when she was 19. etc.

CoJoeTheLawyer

My wife is 7 years younger than me. I was 27 when I met her, she was 20.

It hasn't made a difference in anything we do, how we treat each other, etc. Physical age is meaningless (so long as you're past that magic number 18). It's maturity and how well the other person takes care of themselves.

wasted pixels

You're pretty comfortably within the popular "half your age plus seven" rule, don't sweat it.

Quid

24 and 20 is perfectly fine.

Steev

That's fine. My girlfriend and I started dating when I was 24 and she was 18, and we're engaged now.

Jasconius

Not too young at all. I find that a fair chunk of women in my age group (read: early 20's) look for older men (24-29).

Soak it up while you can.

Xagarath

As others have said, don't worry about it. My girlfriend's 4 years younger than me, and it hasn't created much in the way of problems so far.

DragonPup

The rule of thumb is half your age plus seven, and of course over 18. So you are good to go.

JustPlainPavek

Well, I'll play a brief devil's advocate: Is she still in college? Are you? Frankly I think temporal age difference has much less to do with matters than relative points in life trajectory; I'm 25, working and a few years out of college, and would not feel comfortable being in a relationship with a 20-year old undergrad even if the attraction was there, simply because I would want a girl to make her own decisions about what course she takes during that bridge from graduation into the real world without the (unspoken maybe, but still present) demands of maintaining a relationship with someone who's already established a particular start that may or may not be best for her. If she were 24 and you were 28, I think that would be much less of a gap to bridge despite being the same number of years. But hey, if it's something you both want to pursue — I'm not clear from your OP whether it is or if a twinge of attraction has just got you thinking about the general topic of age differences — that's your business.

Honestly, though, the apparent fact that you two don't live in the same area would be more of a warning signal for me, but that's just because I'm personally exhausted with and by long-distance relationships. For all I know you two could share a wonderful relationship together, but my advice would be to look for someone both physically and socially closer to where you're at right now.

Murago

I feel ya Pavek. I think the mental growth between 18-25 is possibly more significant than 1-18 (personal opinion). Like I said, we've just been hanging out a few nights and she leaves for home soon, but we seem to click. I'm not getting my hopes up for anything more than pleasant conversation and a few laughs...but even so my mind clicks into this mode of "this isn't right". For whatever reason.

As far as head space, I'm only done with AA and she's got her hair styling license. I dunno where that sets us, but I do know that she got out of 3 year relationship just before christmas. She said she "wanted to come clean", and then told me she had been in THAT mind set until just recently hanging out with me. I shared my horrible break up story that i've already brought up here numerous times...and so we've just been going to a few dive bars recently and relaxing.

I appreciate the comments here, as I didn't know about "half your age plus 7". Thanks again for the thoughts.

Bartholamue

If it makes you feel any better, my parents are 4 years apart and still together. They've been married over 25 years.

noir_blood

The age itself isn't a big deal. Something you might want to consider is what you do for fun. If you like to go drinking at bars, or things like that, you probably won't be able to do with her.

OremLK

wasted pixels wrote: »

You're pretty comfortably within the popular "half your age plus seven" rule, don't sweat it.

24 / 2 + 7 = 19.

Or is the rule (24 + 7) / 2? Or am I just not understanding this rule at all?

Regardless, it's quite arbitrary. As everyone else has said, I think four years is completely fine, as long as you're both consenting adults.

ddahcmai

You're fine, I dated a girl once when I was 20 and she was 27. No big deal, the only thing you really have to worry about is maturity, which is more of an issue in high school/the beginning of college. After that the age gap becomes less significant and personality takes its place.

Murago

Straight up. She didn't get ID'd at either bar we went to, and she's has a fake one anyway. Vegas:...what can i say?

Gracias por la informacion

Weretaco

I think it comes down more to how mature she is than the actual age. She's above a legal age of consent so basically if you're on a similar maturity level you're pretty much good to go.

wasted pixels

OremLK wrote: »

24 / 2 + 7 = 19.

That. The resulting age is (generally speaking) as close to cradle robbery as you can get within the confines of"social acceptability". I don't think it's necessarily a good rule (I've known some mature 18 year olds and some really, really childish 29 year olds), but it's okay as a rule of thumb.

Blake T

You are of course fucking retarded if you use a maths system to figure out who you can date.

Younger people as a rule of thumb as less mature, this is you know due to the younger thing.

She might not be!

If you feel that you are both at a similar level of maturity there is no reason it cannot work.

However if she a bit immature and you both just want something fun, casual and short term there is no good reason why that could work either.

tsmvengy

If you click then go for it, but I will have to agree with Pavek that there can be a huge maturity gap between "in college" and "three years out of college." If she seems to young/immature in her actions/feelings about your relationship, then you can choose not to continue it. But don't get hung up on it just because of numbers.

VisionOfClarity

OremLK wrote: »

wasted pixels wrote: »

You're pretty comfortably within the popular "half your age plus seven" rule, don't sweat it.

24 / 2 + 7 = 19.

Or is the rule (24 + 7) / 2? Or am I just not understanding this rule at all?

Regardless, it's quite arbitrary. As everyone else has said, I think four years is completely fine, as long as you're both consenting adults.

Would make it cool for him to date someone who's 16.5, which would not at all be cool.