"They're made out of [chat]."
"[Chat]?"
"[Chat]. They're made out of [chat]."
"[Chat]?"
"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely [chat]."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from forums."
"So who made the forums? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the forums. That's what I'm trying to tell you. [Chat] made the forums."
"That's ridiculous. How can [chat] make a forum? You're asking me to believe in sentient [chat]."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of [chat]."
"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a [chat] stage."
"Nope. They're born [chat] and they die [chat]. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of [chat]?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part [chat]. You know, like the Weddilei. A [chat] head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have [chat] heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're [chat] all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of [chat]!"
"So... what does the thinking?"
"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The [chat]."
"Thinking [chat]! You're asking me to believe in thinking [chat]!"
"Yes, thinking [chat]! Conscious [chat]! Loving [chat]. Dreaming [chat]. The [chat] is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of [chat]."
"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out [chat]. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"So what does the [chat] have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to [chat]?"
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with [chat]."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? [Chat] sounds. You know how when you slap or flap [chat] it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their [chat] at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their [chat]."
"Omigod. Singing [chat]. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Both."
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multi-beings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with [chat]?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, [chat]. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special [chat] containers, but they can't live on them. And being [chat], they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."
"That's it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet [chat]? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their [chat] so that we're just a dream to them."
"A dream to [chat]! How strangely appropriate, that we should be [chat]'s dream."
"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."
Posts
pleasepaypreacher.net
NNID: Hakkekage
chea, lunch time 'n sitch. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu i'm hungry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2UmP6C9rcs
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
Agh, that sucks. Hurts like hell. Go see a doctor.
Not me! (ok that's a lie)
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the [chat].
select the pistol, and then, select your foot.
I wait till mine poke through the skin and then pull the protruding part out which tweezers.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Carl Sagan was smarter than all of us combined.
He's allowed to do what he wants.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
Also, I got home and my housemate wasn't drinking and playing on the xbox for once. He was drinking and watching films. I wish I'd done a biology PhD.
NNID: Hakkekage
Ehm... how... huh?
What did you only say part of it before leaving. "We need to see, oop gotta go."
pleasepaypreacher.net
nah...you probably just buy decent food.
plus all the extras when you're running a household.
NNID: Hakkekage
Buh?
Yeah I think its the extras, like buying more cooking oil or trashbags. I never seem to just buy food by itself. Still I know I spend more than 90 dollars a month on food alone.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Shut up woman I haven't eaten yet.
Again.
NNID: Hakkekage
pleasepaypreacher.net
Also, time for chickeny goodness.
That's pretty normal. The spiciest burger I've ever had was Wendy's spicy chicken burger, and it's still pretty tame.
Yeah the reason being if they ever made a sandwich that was actually spicey, they'd probably get sued because someone hurt themselves or something retarded.
pleasepaypreacher.net