My chair smells like ass

ApexMirage

It's a mediocre office chair, I'm guessing the fabric is retaining the smell of farts.

Febreeze isnt doing anything long term and I've got essentially zero experience with cleaning. How do I rid myself of the foul stench?

Luck3ySe7en

Steam it?

When me and my brother were little, we used to base the smelliness of farts on the computer chair scale. If it was a computer chair fart, it was the worst of the worst lmao.

Endomatic

You may have to get a new chair, or new fabric or whatever.

Luck3ySe7en

take it outside on a sunny day and let the sun work its magic. It costs nothing so it might be worth a try >.>

KeyScourge

Burn it and immediately visit a furniture store or a PC World to find a replacement

Dunadan019

i believe mediocre office chairs only cost about 20 bucks at walmart if you want to go that route

Barrakketh

ApexMirage wrote: »

It's a mediocre office chair, I'm guessing the fabric is retaining the smell of farts.

Febreeze isnt doing anything long term and I've got essentially zero experience with cleaning. How do I rid myself of the foul stench?

Steam, sunlight, or ozone is your best bet.

Sol Invictus

Stop sh*tting in it.

But okay, seriously, just buy a new one.

Decent fake leather ones go for 70 at IKEA.

ApexMirage

A new chair is out of my budget after this

Isnt there somekind of product I can use?

Buttcleft

how are you using the febreeze?

light misting or are you soaking it? the smell might be past the fabric and into the stuffing/cushioning.

ApexMirage

How exactly would I soak something with a mist? I don't doubt it's past the fabric itself.

Topweasel

ApexMirage wrote: »

How exactly would I soak something with a mist? I don't doubt it's past the fabric itself.

Douse the thing supper crazy. Maybe spin off the top and poor it on. Your big problem is the smell is in the chair not on the chair.

This is why your supposed to lift a cheek.

Aurora Borealis

Okay, this is gonna sound crazy, but instead of febreeze, you might try spraying Vodka on it. Cheap vodka in a spray bottle, let it soak in. It's what costumers spray into shoes to keep them from getting too smelly.

ApexMirage

Wouldn't it just smell like... vodka?
Pouring febreeze doesn't sound like a very good idea =/

TheGreat2nd

Clean it...with fire.

Then go buy a new chair.
Maybe the cushion is just beyond salvageable?

Endomatic

Try something like Natures' Miracle. It's for pet spots, but if it "penetrates" carpeting, it'd probably do okay for your chair too.

CelestialBadger

If it is a home chair - use a carpet steam cleaner - they work wonders! Borrow one from someone. If it is at work, try claiming you need a new one for your back :-)

ApexMirage

Haha no, it's at home. Though I could use better back support anyway. I guess I'll try and get a hold of a steamer. The pet products sound like a promising idea. thanks.

Improvolone

If the chair is upholstered, I would remove the fabric and either clean or replace the foam.

acidlacedpenguin

get a leather or leather-like chair next time. The leather is a natural fart reflector, it also has the added bonus of reverberating to amplify the sound of the farts it you lean in the right way.

Kenninator

acidlacedpenguin wrote: »

get a leather or leather-like chair next time. The leather is a natural fart reflector, it also has the added bonus of reverberating to amplify the sound of the farts it you lean in the right way.

I can attest to this.

Hypatia

You could also try getting some activated charcoal and putting it in a bowl and then leaving it on the chair for a day or two. Activated charcoal is crazy effective for neutralizing odors and they sell it in pet stores and for fridges.

slackersupreme

In college I disassembled my computer chair into component parts and cleaned the cloth upholstered parts in the bath tub with hot water and laundry detergent. Took a while to dry out afterward (suggest using a fan) and may not have been good for the chair, but I didn't notice the smell again for a year or so.

Of course, this is a bad idea if you can't remove the hardware from the parts you want to wash (think rust) and may not be the best approach.

Horus

Vodka works I can confirm since Mythbusters used sprayed vodka on jackets enclosed with lit cigarettes. Vodka does work to remove smell and when that is done apply febreeze to remove alcohol smell.

DasUberEdward

put a pillow on your chair from now on.

jako

It's extremely easy to turn a smelly computer chair brand new again, and I've done it multiple times because I fart a lot and it gets very stinky.

Sodium bicarbonate.

Spread a generous amount on the cushion, don't be afraid to take your hand to spread it good all over.. then wait, for maybe 5 hours or just leave it for the night. Then vacuum all of it. Voilà Costs about nothing, plus it's a green and highly efficient method of keeping your work area and many parts of your house clean and fresh.. use it. Oh and sodium bicarbonate also expertly soothes a heartburn, even if it tastes pretty weird.