[Glosslalia 4++] Skyaergarigyth: The Last Scat Bender (Chapter II)

Bearstranaut

1d20 → [10] = (10)

DE?AD

Fortunately for Speed, he merely trips and falls onto Gary, who has become lodged into the opening - his feet flailing helplessly in the muck below, his head poking out of the hole.

Oh pooh.

Bearstranaut

"Son of a bitch!" shouts Gary, more angry at himself than the stupid hole.

"Mancer, try that f'uck'ing spell again!"

Doobh

"Aye, that be a tight hole. Why so eager t' jump inna hole smellin' of ass, laddy?" Dubh flashes a smile at Gary. "What be the sayin'? Actions be louder than words?"

Speed Racer

Speed picks himself up.

"Don't worry friend! I'll have you unstuck and swimming in liquid waste in no time!" Speed casts a spell to accelerate Gary rapidly.

2 + 2 for Movement = 4 DQ to move 4 feet straight down

4d20 → [20,13,10,20] = (63)

2d20 → [13,4] = (17)

Also Dead I'd been meaning to ask you, since a lot of my manceries are probably going to involve moving things at very high speeds I should probably have a system for determining how much to add to my DQ depending on how fast I'm moving the object.

Bearstranaut

"I thought it was magic! Shut your fat f'uckin'g face, pussykin!" yells Gary

Doobh

"Yeah, I generally lean toward t' pussy" agrees Dubh.

Robcham

fatty fat fatty

Morkath

"I'll try casting the enlargement spell again, gimme a few moments."
*begins to chant while pointing at Gary*

Altering +3, Duration +4 (2hours),basic Cast DQ+2.

Chant for 5 rounds again.

7d20 → [13,16,14,9,4,15,17] = (88)

On autopilot after this, been up since midnight and starting to fall asleep.

Speed Racer

Wait didn't I already succeed on magically shoving him through the hole?

Morkath

Speed Racer wrote: »

Wait didn't I already succeed on magically shoving him through the hole?

Who knows, regardless the hole could stand to be bigger so he can get back up. And not lose half his mass from being shoved through a hole that's too small. :P

Doobh

Yeah, we prefer our Bardbear non-skinned.

Bearstranaut

hey hey hey

he's playing a character

his character might not realize he could kill me by doing such a thing.

c'est la vie.

DE?AD

Speed, why did you just roll four and then another two dice?

Also, to move things faster, just apply the Movement modifier again.

Morkath

Oh yeah I know, I'm not ragging on him for doing it, just explaining why I'm try feverishly and slowly to save your life.

Speed Racer

Because I rolled two twenties.

Also I submit that because bears are fattest at their lower body, it would take just one quick shove before the part of him that's less wide than the hole is in place. At worst he would scrap up his love handles.

But as long as Bearsranaut ends up covered in shit I don't really care either way!

Bearstranaut

I'll kill you speed racer

DE?AD

Okay, but for the first roll, you should've been rolling 5 dice - 1d20 + your Intellectuance + your Mancery.

Either way, though...

Speed applies momentum to Gary, painfully forcing him through the hole. It's working, but it hurts.

Luckily for Gary, Morkath's second attempt at widening the opening is far more successful - as he finishes casting, the hole spreads 'em, and Speed's added momentum sends Gary rocketing down into the excrement below.

The crap-filled tunnel below is just about five feet around, and remarkably even, which is probably aiding the waste within's passage. The current is so great, in fact, that the minute Gary hits the "water" he begins to be swept down the tunnel...

Antimatter

I shout into the hole, "How's it going down there, bear?"

Bearstranaut

"FUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk yoooooouuuuuuuuuuu!!!" comes the reply.

Doobh

"Fook, I'm feelin' kinda' bad now. Bloody 'ell, you live only once..." Dubh sprints to the hole and jumps in.

What do I roll?

Speed Racer

I really do not want to dive into this hole but seeing as diving into this hole is the only hope we have of retrieving our bear friend I suppose I'm going to have to dive into this hole!" With that, Speed jumps into the enlarged Ground Anus.

And with that I'm on auto-pilot for the night. Fuck diseases so muuuuuch.

Bogey

BEAR!

Bearstranaut

BOGEY!

Antimatter

"Sounds like trouble. TALLY HO!"
Dextrocity roll:
1d20=1

Speed Racer

Oh I guess I'll make a dextrosity roll real quick before leaving:

2d20 → [13,4] = (17)

Doobh

3d20

2 + 16 + 1

Fuuuuuuuuuck

FlatEric

"Oh hell, we all have to go down there, don't we?" mutters Erick.

Looking down, he wonders if he'd be able to climb down through the hole and find handholds in the roof to climb along, rather than plummet into the muck.

Bearstranaut

At this point in time Gary realizes "Oh wait I can fly"

and tries to straddle the ceiling of the shit cave

Antimatter

I thought you could only fly once per day?

Bearstranaut

what? I thought it was an "at will" sort of thing. in

Doobh

Flight (Flying): You may fly at ½ your movement.

Antimatter

Ok, my mistake.

FlatEric

It's funny that this is the day it is officially supposed to start

Yet we haven't posted much

Doobh

Just keepin' it from going too fast.

Bearstranaut

We're at page ten, all by ourselves.

FlatEric

I need to roll, but I need to know if there are any bonuses/penalties and whatnot

Or if it's, you know, possible

DE?AD

FlatEric wrote: »

I need to roll, but I need to know if there are any bonuses/penalties and whatnot

Or if it's, you know, possible

It would be possible, it would just take a long-ass time - Gary's already about four hundred feet downriver of the hole.

Also, I only asked Bear for a roll because he was slightly too large for the hole, but since everyone made them anyway...

Matt: [1 Ultraminus, 1 Roll Schema]
ROLL SCHEMA: CRUSHING DEFEAT

Matt steps to the edge of the hole, and gets ready to jump in, but chokes like a damn bitch. Poor little human's too scared to jump in the river of shit, a bloo bloo bloo. Why don't you go back and hang out with the carriageman, Matty? You can have a pants-shitting contest.

Chump.

Speed: [1 plus]

Luckily, Speed's there to show the rest of the group that human's aren't all pansies, and rushes straight into the hole. Luckily, the opening has been expanded, so Speed's speed has no problem getting through.

Dubh: [1 Minus, 1 Plus, negated by the 1 Ultraminus]

Dubh steps up and follows Speed through, but his catlike instincts temporarily get the best of him, and he pauses to consider whether jumping into a river of shit is a good idea.

Unfortunately, he'd stepped just a little too close to the edge, and slips in anyway.

Meanwhile quite a ways down-stream, Gary realizes that he can fly, and decides to do so. He into the air above the river, and hovers there for a few moments before...

Bear, make me a dodge [Dextrocity + Athletics (Dodge)] roll.

Doobh

It really just hit me how we're questing in a cave made entirely out of shit.

Edit: I think I'm going to make a quick beastkin prestigious occupation.

Edit: Of course, there already is that crow one.

DE?AD

Dubh wrote: »

It really just hit me how we're questing in a cave made entirely out of shit.

Edit: I think I'm going to make a quick beastkin prestigious occupation.

Edit: Of course, there already is that crow one.

Crowkin are special, and nobody's playing them.

Make a Beastkin class, Dubh.