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question regarding weed. *updated*
Seldom
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Registered User regular
so this is a bit of an odd question..
i've always been pretty comfortable around weed, my family and friends smoke, i'm in the street art/graffiti scene and everyone there smokes. i've always been around weed. this isn't to say i'm a heavy user, i've only smoked a little bit, occasionally. my first time was with friends and it was a pretty non event, didn't really get much of a high or anything - i was too drunk i think. i was around 16-17 years old.
i'm still 17 and my girl friend is 15. she doesn't smoke and isn't part of a community that has so much of it in it, although her mum is pretty comfortable talking and joking about it and sometimes smokes it at big parties. my girl friend's sister and her boyfriend also smokeit - they're in the early 20'ies - mid 20'ies.
she's away staying with her sister and her sister's boyfriend in a close by city and i got this message on my phone from her asking me not so much if i'd mind, but what i'd think if she would smoke a joint with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. it was a bit of an odd message.
i said i wouldn't think much of it, and that it's good you're doing it with really close family/ friends, that that's better than my first time where shortly after having the joint i had to stumble home drunk and a bit high in a totally different part of town.
but then i thought, maybe it does bother me, i mean, she's only 15? i didn't want to preach any hypocrisy, since my first time i was pretty young too. but i always forget she is physically younger than me despite her maturity. i don't know if i should say anything, or if there's anything to be said. it's her body and her decisions and she is very mature for her age. she doesn't drink all that often because she doesn't see too much point in it unless it's a special party.
i know weed does hardly any damage to a person compared to drinking alcohol, and i know it's not addictive. i don't see it as something that causes "reefer madness" or any other silly stuff. but i do worry about her being pretty young trying it for her first time. when do kids usually smoke pot for their first time? is 15 too young? at the age of 15 would there be any issues smoking it? i'm not worried about her first time, i know she'll be perfectly safe with her sister and her sister's boyfriend and they won't put her out of her comfort zone or anything crazy, but i'm just wondering about it.. she'll be back in town and i plan to talk to her about it just like how i've outlined it here. that i wasn't sure what to say about it, but i was kind of concerned.
anyway, it's kind of a confusing post. but any opinions, personal stories, different points of view or ideas of how i should talk to her about it (if i should at all) are most welcome.
cheers PA
i've always been pretty comfortable around weed, my family and friends smoke, i'm in the street art/graffiti scene and everyone there smokes. i've always been around weed. this isn't to say i'm a heavy user, i've only smoked a little bit, occasionally. my first time was with friends and it was a pretty non event, didn't really get much of a high or anything - i was too drunk i think. i was around 16-17 years old.
i'm still 17 and my girl friend is 15. she doesn't smoke and isn't part of a community that has so much of it in it, although her mum is pretty comfortable talking and joking about it and sometimes smokes it at big parties. my girl friend's sister and her boyfriend also smokeit - they're in the early 20'ies - mid 20'ies.
she's away staying with her sister and her sister's boyfriend in a close by city and i got this message on my phone from her asking me not so much if i'd mind, but what i'd think if she would smoke a joint with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. it was a bit of an odd message.
i said i wouldn't think much of it, and that it's good you're doing it with really close family/ friends, that that's better than my first time where shortly after having the joint i had to stumble home drunk and a bit high in a totally different part of town.
but then i thought, maybe it does bother me, i mean, she's only 15? i didn't want to preach any hypocrisy, since my first time i was pretty young too. but i always forget she is physically younger than me despite her maturity. i don't know if i should say anything, or if there's anything to be said. it's her body and her decisions and she is very mature for her age. she doesn't drink all that often because she doesn't see too much point in it unless it's a special party.
i know weed does hardly any damage to a person compared to drinking alcohol, and i know it's not addictive. i don't see it as something that causes "reefer madness" or any other silly stuff. but i do worry about her being pretty young trying it for her first time. when do kids usually smoke pot for their first time? is 15 too young? at the age of 15 would there be any issues smoking it? i'm not worried about her first time, i know she'll be perfectly safe with her sister and her sister's boyfriend and they won't put her out of her comfort zone or anything crazy, but i'm just wondering about it.. she'll be back in town and i plan to talk to her about it just like how i've outlined it here. that i wasn't sure what to say about it, but i was kind of concerned.
anyway, it's kind of a confusing post. but any opinions, personal stories, different points of view or ideas of how i should talk to her about it (if i should at all) are most welcome.
cheers PA
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water spirals the wrong way out the sink
Although weed is great, it is very addictive. Dont fool yourself.
Your use of the term addictive is misleading to the point of being halfway into erroneous land and no we're not going to debate that here.
Whether or not it's a real problem depends largely on the circumstances, and really involves who she's smoking with. If she's going to parties where there's booze and getting high there, well you have a rather young girl putting herself into a state where she'll suffer from impaired judgement, surrounded by people also suffering from impaired judgement and this is not a good scene. It happens every day and most kids come out of it fine, but it's certainly not ideal, y'know?
If she's getting high and listening to led zeppelin with her older sister at her sister's apartment, I don't see much harm coming of it BUT I don't live in the USA and I don't have the consequences to face that an American does with their war on drugs.
As for maturity goes, if she's mature enough for you to date, she's mature enough to partake of your leisure activities. If you feel that you're old enough to smoke dope, you can't really insist that she's old enough to date you but too young to smoke pot.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
this is something i would genuinely worry about and i'll tell her that.
this is the same way i viewed things when i received her message. also - we're australian, so we don't have the bogus american war on drugs either.
and this is exactly the hypocrisy that i didn't want to come off as having. i don't doubt her maturity to use weed responsibly one bit, i was , however, worried about her physically being younger. maybe not handling it well, greening out, or any of that stuff? but i guess that doesn't matter because she was with her sister and her sister wouldn't start her out on the deep end or anything.
i wouldn't tell her not to do it, i wouldn't take that roll, but i was just worried and thinking about it.
thanks for all the feed back guys
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
The important thing is for it not to become a huge habit. It's very easy for someone to say 'hey that was pretty rad, let's do that again sometime' and to then progress from a joint every month or so, to spending pretty much all their free time getting high. (This is not the same thing as saying that weed is highly addictive - it's fun) Most people would not describe this as a productive way to spend one's time, particularly at an age where you're starting to think about getting ready for college. So once or twice is fine, and I wouldn't bat an eye at it, but if it becomes a habit to the point that it is detracting from regular activity like schoolwork, it's time to say something. (This is all from personal experience by the way)
The other thing I'll point out is that there are certain medical conditions that cause you to interact in very strange ways with marijuana and other drugs, particularly if you take any sort of medication. Just something to keep in mind.
Pot is no more addictive than MMORPGs or Blackjack. Ergo, addiction is not of special concern here.
Be wary of laziness. That will be detrimental.
If she doesn't know the guy really really well, I wouldn't.
That's just one-too-many bad experiences while in some way inebriated speaking, though, and it's probably fine.
Coming at it from a different angle: I'm sure she knows you well enough to know that you don't really have a problem with that sort of thing.. the only reason I can think of that she may have asked you is that she wanted you to say no so that she would have an excuse not to do it readily available. That's a decision that she should be able to make for herself and all, but you never know.
Just thoughts.
you say that like people don't become dangerously addicted to gambling.
I'm not saying it's been proven to be chemically addictive, but can be habitually addictive.
Awk is just trying to be helpful. Cut him some slack.
If I was talking to a 15 year old about him/her wanting to start playing WoW, hell yes I would bring up addiction in the conversation.
The thing to emphasize with pot is that it is habit forming but not chemically addictive. Meaning; you will really want to do it but if you don't get it you won't feel horrible. After a day or so without smoking, if you are a heavy user, it probably won't be on your mind so much.
they were just chilling about watching films. her sister's boyfriend is from Amsterdam, so he always has the occasional joint or rollie with a bit of weed in it of an evening, but her sister wasn't smoking that night.
i'm not sure why she didn't end up doing it if she sent me a message about it...
almost leads me to think about this:
i guess she just had second thoughts about it. she's in no real rush to get high, she's not that sort of person. maybe she subconsciously wanted a reason not to, maybe not.. she's got a really good will about her, and she doesn't bend to any kind of peer pressure. i wouldn't have thought she'd need any concern from me to deter her from doing something. like i said, she is super mature and confident in herself and her decisions.
i still talked to her about the vulnerabilities of being drunk and high at a party, even though that's an obvious concern i'm sure she'd be aware of. i said i wouldn't be too concerned if you're doing this stuff in a safe environment with family or super tight friends, but big parties and such is really leading yourself up for trouble as a cute young teen who's under the influence of two substances.
i'm not really sure i want to mention the habit forming addictive element of weed to her. i think if i mention anything about addiction, even just informatively, she may think that i'm massively worried and anxious about her already and jumping off the deep end with my concerns.
thanks for all the continued advice guys!
Hi, shut up please. You don't really get to tell other forumers what they can and can't say here. If you have a problem with a post you can use the report system.
Awk's post uses completely misleading terminology. TLCCOTT did nothing but clarify the nature of the "addiction" being referenced, and did so in a pretty polite manner.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
-Weed can be addictive, in a similar way that cocaine can be addictive or gambling or the great destroyer of worlds, WoW. Not quite in the same chemical way that cigarettes and alcohol become addictive.
-The debilitating effects are there, largely on your lungs physically, but there are some psychological ones as well. There is an a-motivational effect associated with large doses in a frequent schedule. While in the very young it can improve incidence of schizophrenia, current theories suggest schizophrenia is largely correlated with prenatal viral infection. Keep in mind, you are smoking. However, to give you a relative comparison, the effects have parity with, or are significantly less than, alcohol.
-The most damage you will do to yourself with weed is culturally (if you only surround yourself with other smokers in which the chief activity and basis for relationships with smokers) and financially :P.
See now check this out.
This post I quoted? Does nothing to answer the actual question or issues posted in this thread. It's on a related topic though, and one that a moderator actually said wasn't really open for debate.
And on top of that, not only does this guy refer to himself as an authority on the subject, but fails to provide any reason that anyone should think so, and even makes a number of completely erroneous statements of fact.
This is how we don't post in H/A.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
I believe I was this age when I first tried it. Smoked out of a wooden pipe on the bike path with my friend Ian. Absolutely nothing happened for me.
I smoked a lot of weed afterward, spent most of high school doing theater courses, got into a reasonably nice private college, and am going to law school next year, after two years of working and living on my own. I can't imagine that doing it with my family for the first time would have made things much worse.
What I am saying is that this won't kill her. It wouldn't be entirely unreasonable for you to talk to her, but don't, for the love of god, say anything implying that you think she's too immature to make her own decisions. I think the talk would be good to get you straight with your feelings about it, and that would be a good way to frame the discussion. "I feel weird about this and I don't know why."
Also Pheezer is pretty much exactly right about everything he's said.
My mistake, I clearly looked at the thread too quickly and didn't bother to think enough.