Hi, I have spent the most part of 2008 frustrated with my professional life; now, it's 2009 and I can't seem to swallow another year of the same situation.
The situation is something like this:
Good stuff
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* I've been in the web design industry since 1997, working my way up: first as a copy paste guy, then some HTML, then at an agency where i worked my ass off + worked freelance projects at night and weekends for most of my 20's, then as a webmaster in an international institution, and now doing project management.
* I started in the field, because it was my hobby at the time, and i loved it. Being able to work from 8 to 5 on my passion was great; the time i invested on freelance projects was not painful, because i was doing stuff that wasn't my responsibility on the agency. It's true, you have to deal with reality (bosses, clients, schedules, deadlines, salary, etc), but i was very clear on what i wanted to do; and my dream was to own my small web design agency (a dream i shared with most of the people i worked with. I guess, we all had the same dream).
* As a marketing mayor and web design guy living in a latin american country, my salary has never been that great, but i have managed to improve it over time (we are talking about a 10 year span). The freelance income helped a lot, and it was the only way i managed to save a little, and have resources to do stuff (buy a computer, go to a seminar, etc).
* So now, i'm responsible for the project management of a small team in an agency. The change wasn't easy, but it has been a nice change of pace: there are tons of interactions each day with clients, team members via phone calls, meetings, emails, etc. We can call it ... fast paced.
* They offered me participation as a partner, and i have been paying for my stock these past 2 years (it's privately owned).
Not so Good stuff
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* As a partner or part owner of the agency, i have to deal with a ton of stuff that doesn't have any relation to project management. That's OK, since it's supposed to be my business, and i have learned TONS of stuff, and have grown professionally more than in the last 4 years. The bad part is: i'm not focused; i'm all over the place having to deal with stuff. I feel i don't have the time / concentration to deal with one situation, as docens of other gravitate towards me. As a person with no experience or education in management, this has been a steep learning curve and i have done millions of mistakes. I hate the feeling that i'm making mistakes left and right.
* As part owner of an agency, i stopped working on freelance projects. This is both an ethical and common sense decision: why should i offer web design services as an individual, since i own an agency. This was the beginning of my financial problems: i have no other income, and my salary is OK, but doesn't cover what i need. I hate this too, i feel that i'm financially worse now, that 4 years ago (i don't have a mortage, my car is paid and don't have credit card debt - the problem is income, savings and flexibility to move ahead (buy my own place, get a new car, etc)).
* As a partner, i'm supposed to receive dividends of the earnings of the last two years. I haven't received anything, but i'm supposed to start receiving this year my share from 2007. It's not that much, but it's a big plus if i get this. The thing is, it's taking for ever. The main partner is doing the 2009 budget, so i have to wait for that, and i'm not even sure what decision we will take on how to pay for those (part now, part in 4 months / monthly / etc). I've been living under a promise to receive this as a plus to my salary for two years and i see no results.
* The situations, with partners, employees and clients are very, very stressful. When i'm in a good mood, i mentally compare the job to launching a missile to space. Why is this so ridiculously stressful and serious? We are making fucking websites, for God's sake. It's not a very easy work environment. It's the opposite of easy going, laid back, advertising agency kind of place. It's a VERY serious place. I hate that.
* Two years without doing some serious and day to day web design work, has both sort of outdate my skills and made me lose some of the passion for the craft. I don't visualice myself doing a website by my own anymore, and don't have the passion and energy to read about web stuff (RSS, books, websites, etc). I just don't see myself doing websites until i'm 60 years old anymore, i stopped caring about the new and amazing jquery or flex or whatever new technology that comes.
* I like the project management stuff, but i'm not in love with it. It's a job, and i do it because i have to do it. But i'm not particularly exited to do a Gantt Chart, and i'm sure another person can and will do what i do better and more eagerly.
What's next for me?
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So, this is why I come to you, Help & Advise; what the hell should i do? I feel frustrated about all of these situations, being very objective, sometimes I'm even depressed; and this is starting to affect my personal life: i'm in a bad mood, or don't feel like doing anything besides escaping mentally from all this crap (tv, anime, movies, video games... whatever takes my mind off this).
These are the ideas that are around my head:
* I just started studying a MBA. It's great and this is one of the best parts of my week. I would love to have my own business.. not really sure what kind of service i can offer.
* I'm one second away from quitting my job and stay home, or go to a trip to the country side for like 1 week or 1 month or something. I need to detox from all these bad vibes.
* I'm considering starting doing freelance projects again, locally or offering my services to an agency outside my country.
* I'm considering looking for a job elsewhere (locally) in a web related position. This will be tough, since salary would probably be lower.
* I'm working with a friend of mine on a new business that doesn't have any relation to web design. This looks promising (at least for now) to me, but it's not a sure thing, can take 1 or 2 years to take off, etc.
* Fear: with the global economy going to hell, this is not the best time to do something drastic.
Wow, just typing this makes feel better... i have organized all the things that i hate that have been orbiting my mind.
In a nutshell
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I'm not satisfied with my current professional life (career path and financial situation) and don't know in what direction should i take my next step.
Any help, advise, or slap in the face is greatly appreciated.
.
Posts
1) Living in a lower income country you can make your bones by doing freelance work, because the cost of living is lower you can dramatically underbid American freelancers and make a nice living if you are dedicated enough and have enough skills.
I was looking into the freelance thing and as an American it is extremely hard without many pre-established contacts for an American, across three of the major freelance sites all the bids are being dominated by Indian/Chinese companies/people who are doing stuff for $200-$400 dollars that the company I work for would ordinarily charge 1k or more for.
2) Move to a more modern country with a strong web industry (US/UK) and get in with a firm. There are lots of web firms and there is a huge massive demand for people with interpersonal skills who also know the technology. Web sites are an extremely hard product to bullshit about. I've seen a dozen PM's and salesman try to talk their way around clients knowing nothing about the business at all and fail utterly. If you have good PM skills and can keep yourself well studied in the tech, there is a good paying job for you in America.
I would say it would be a lot harder to pull the same trick in say, latin america. The perception that outsourcing web work is a huge mistake (which is not totally untrue) is starting to spread and I've seen many a client that will gladly pay 6 times a freelance rate to get an American firm with some fancy logos on their website proving they are legit.
No matter what you do you need to get out of that partner scenario. Being a principal/executive in a company will destroy your chances of getting back into the fray of actually doing development or even being a good PM. I know, because my direct manager is basically what you are doing now, and over the last two years his knowledge/skills and even his PM aptitude have suffered greatly.
Freelancing right now is tough, you might not even be able to do it. Freelance tends to thrive on startups, and not a lot of people are starting businesses in this economic climate.
If you want to start making some easy cash though, there is always money in simple PSD -> HTML conversion jobs. You can do a single layout in 4-8 hours depending on the complexity and probably make 100-200 bucks for it.
If you have any design/art colleges near you, see if you can drop a few flyers around - lots of art students need portfolio sites and they suck at HTML and Flash - I made a killing in my senior year doing that.
we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
I think it's very important in any professional life to have a strong goal that you're working towards, and not be satisfied where you are. (unless you're actually satisfied with your job, but thats pretty rare)