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To move, or to stay put?
Aoi Tsuki
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Back again for another round of LOL Life Changes!!
This time, I need disinterested advice on whether to move in May/June or stay put. I'm going to college in a town south of Austin, hoping to graduate in the fall or next spring at the very latest (bachelor's in English), and perhaps take class(es) this summer, depending on what they offer and when. My lease is up in May, though I can extend it one month without a fee (this apartment is awesome, and used to college students).
My brother and his roommate Joe are losing their townhouse's third occupant at the end of May. They live just north of Austin; the distance between their place and my school is approximately 45-50 miles.
They want me to move in. Thing is, the distance is pretty big to commute to school, even if I take MW classes and thus drive down there only twice a week; I will probably also have a chance to resume work at my part-time third shift job (I make sure the girls at a boarding school don't do stupid shit in the middle of the night; I can play video games, do homework, watch TV or even sleep in the meantime). Coordinating this in the midst of classes and when to actually go back home could get awkward.
Why am I tempted to move up north, then? For one thing, the prospect of driving 200 miles a week...doesn't bother me much. I've commuted to work and school before, and have driven this stretch of interstate hundreds of times; gas prices are back on the rise, but I'm now getting financial aid from the school, and my Kia's mileage is fantastic. Still pricey, I know, besides wear and tear...
Potentially offsetting the gas expense would be rent itself: the townhouse, split three ways, is over two hundred bucks a month cheaper than my little place here in town, and the bills...vary. *note to self: ask about bills*
The biggest factors are social, though: my buddies here in town are awesome, but few, and the one I can always count on to not be too tired or stressed to go grab a bite to eat or watch The Daily Show or try one of my DVDs he hasn't seen before, well, he's moving to Chicago for law school. I've actually lived with my brother and Joe in that very townhouse, albeit in their closet under the stairs, and it was fucking awesome: we're all into the same stuff, we can bring up little disagreements about food or laundry or parking without huge dramatics, and they both love my cats, who could frankly use the room to run around.
On the other hand, my b.f. is in San Antonio, as are my parents. But I only visit once a month or so, and frankly, this might just be the kick in the ass my guy needs so we can get formally engaged (as we've talked about for a while). It sounds cold/creepy, but since he graduated in August, he's mostly been playing Fallout 3 and feeling vaguely useless, not job-hunting, so I'm not planning around him till he gets frustrated enough to really start trying.
(He's being treated for depression, but admits it's not just that holding him back.)
teal deer: It seems physically and financially inconvenient to move, but I'd really like to.
This time, I need disinterested advice on whether to move in May/June or stay put. I'm going to college in a town south of Austin, hoping to graduate in the fall or next spring at the very latest (bachelor's in English), and perhaps take class(es) this summer, depending on what they offer and when. My lease is up in May, though I can extend it one month without a fee (this apartment is awesome, and used to college students).
My brother and his roommate Joe are losing their townhouse's third occupant at the end of May. They live just north of Austin; the distance between their place and my school is approximately 45-50 miles.
They want me to move in. Thing is, the distance is pretty big to commute to school, even if I take MW classes and thus drive down there only twice a week; I will probably also have a chance to resume work at my part-time third shift job (I make sure the girls at a boarding school don't do stupid shit in the middle of the night; I can play video games, do homework, watch TV or even sleep in the meantime). Coordinating this in the midst of classes and when to actually go back home could get awkward.
Why am I tempted to move up north, then? For one thing, the prospect of driving 200 miles a week...doesn't bother me much. I've commuted to work and school before, and have driven this stretch of interstate hundreds of times; gas prices are back on the rise, but I'm now getting financial aid from the school, and my Kia's mileage is fantastic. Still pricey, I know, besides wear and tear...
Potentially offsetting the gas expense would be rent itself: the townhouse, split three ways, is over two hundred bucks a month cheaper than my little place here in town, and the bills...vary. *note to self: ask about bills*
The biggest factors are social, though: my buddies here in town are awesome, but few, and the one I can always count on to not be too tired or stressed to go grab a bite to eat or watch The Daily Show or try one of my DVDs he hasn't seen before, well, he's moving to Chicago for law school. I've actually lived with my brother and Joe in that very townhouse, albeit in their closet under the stairs, and it was fucking awesome: we're all into the same stuff, we can bring up little disagreements about food or laundry or parking without huge dramatics, and they both love my cats, who could frankly use the room to run around.
On the other hand, my b.f. is in San Antonio, as are my parents. But I only visit once a month or so, and frankly, this might just be the kick in the ass my guy needs so we can get formally engaged (as we've talked about for a while). It sounds cold/creepy, but since he graduated in August, he's mostly been playing Fallout 3 and feeling vaguely useless, not job-hunting, so I'm not planning around him till he gets frustrated enough to really start trying.
(He's being treated for depression, but admits it's not just that holding him back.)teal deer: It seems physically and financially inconvenient to move, but I'd really like to.
Aoi Tsuki on
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As you know I35 isn't that bad except during certain hours. But, if you have to go during those certain hours you know you'll have to add a lot of time onto your commute, so consider the hours of your commute.
You will see your friends less...it sucks, but most likely it will happen. I liked seeing my friend that lived up close to round rock, but it is just rather inconvenient to visit friends that live an hour away on the spur of the moment. And I would think it would suck to live an hour and a half to two hour drive to your boyfriend....but I suppose there are worse things.
Not sure which apartments you live in around here...but I've lived in several, and I have friends that have lived in most. In general they are over priced as the price of this university has just been increasing at an alarming rate over the last few years that it has been deregulated and they're milking us for all we're worth :-/. If you're living on your own I can give you a couple recommendations for okay priced 1 bedrooms in the area....but yeah, you're not going to find a 1 bedroom for anything less than $500 most likely.
If you have that much fun with your cousin and friend in Austin, and only have MW classes...why not move? This town isn't THAT great. It's okay, but nothing compared to Austin when it comes to things to do. If you're sick of the commute after 6 months could you look for a place down here again? Would you be willing to tough it out? At least once you graduate you'll be in an area with many more job opportunities than here.
It seem like the pluses out weigh the drawbacks as long as you're the type to actually get up and go to class even though you don't feel like driving an hour there and back.
Edit: I just re-read your post. If you really do think you're going to resume your job here....I don't think I would move up there. Coming down twice a week for class is one thing...but driving that far too frequently will just burn a lot of gas and time and eventually just become an annoying hassle. I worked 2 jobs up in south Austin for 6 months while I live here....I got sick of it. Maybe you're different, but yeah...
Staying here will give me X time and Y money.
Moving will give me A time and B money.
Then think about all the things you would do with the time/money difference. This really helped clarified things for me when I decided to move for work. I decided that 10 hours of my life was worth the dollar amount difference I would end up paying in rent. For example, with those extra 10 hours I could go to the gym on a regular basis, which has provided me a better quality of life (and a longer one to boot). Sometimes, it also helps to put things in terms of how much money you could be making in that span of time as well.
Just be realistic with the whole thing. Don't value one thing more than another because you "should" (i.e., 1 hour with my boyfriend is worth $500 when in the long run, it's not). Also, be realistic about how much the time/money is actually worth to you in terms of the quality of your life.
I'd do this calculation for you, but really it's only something you can, and should, do.
PS - Don't move or not move because of your boyfriend's lack of commitment or motivation (either on his life or your relationship). That's an entirely separate situation which, frankly, he needs to deal with on his own. If you have to do something like this to get his ass in gear, it will either just set a bad precedent for the rest of your relationship and make the both of you resentful, or it will cause a rift in your relationship because you've essentially provided him an ultimatum and he said no. Plus, there's something to be said for a guy who isn't even willing to get his life order for himself, let alone for someone he loves. (I don't mean to be harsh...just speaking from personal experience here.)
See, that's the thing: they're staying up there for a couple more years. After I graduate, well, this is not a town rife with big-girl employment opportunities. I'm also juuust sick enough of moving that I'm up for planting my ass firmly in one spot till it's a good financial and emotional idea to get hitched and move in with him.
As for resuming my job, if I repeated a class schedule anything like my current one - ending around 5 p.m. - it would be quite easy to either hang out with my friends or go to a cafe to do homework till it was time to go to work, or I could even get permission to go to the dorms early and sleep in the spare room till my shift started. Lots of what-ifs, but they don't seem insurmountable ones.
Absolutely. It's not that this is meant to be a test or even wake-up call; I'm just not going to stay out of the townhouse on the hopes that he'll get a job and we can move in together by the end of May or June. Even if he does, he needs to save up for a bit first. We actually just talked about this, and he's conceded that not seeing me as often would suck, but he's got stuff to work on in the meantime, to say the least.
Hmm. Best call my brother to ask about bills for a comparative balance sheet. Summer cooling suuuucks~