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threatened with eviction
randomman
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So currently I have been threatened with eviction for (in my eyes) an unreasonable cause, in order to understand you'll have to know the situation.
Where do I live?
I live on campus in a townhouse at Lakehead University in Ontario Canada. (it's a townhouse owned by the school)
Why am I being threatened with eviction?
Three people went straight to the Residence Life Coordinator (Kind of like a Dean) and stated that as of January 2009 my girlfriend has moved all of her stuff in the townhouse and is currently living there. (I would like to add in most situations like this, generally people either talk to whom they have a problem with, or the Residence Assistant assigned to the area)
Also the Residence Assistant looked around the house, said that my roommates girlfriend's clothes (who is a known visitor to the university from out of town) has her clothes all over his room, the storage room is more full than previous, and all of my hair and skin products are evidence that someone else has moved in. Essentially he stated that he does not believe I own that many products, and there are way more boxes in the storage room so someone moved in. About the storage room, I ruffled around there looking for something and didn't bother stacking the boxes neatly, so it looked like it was "full" however since then I cleaned it by organizing the boxes the way they were prior without actually taking anything out of the room and there is literally twice the room.
Why is this bad?
I could be sub-letting, or just letting her live there for free. Basically only the four people who are assigned to live there are allowed to live there.
The truth:
My girlfriend is in fact not living in my townhouse, she has some bathroom items, a small tote bag with a couple outfits, a stick of deodorant and a bottle of moisturizer. She maybe spends 3/4 nights a week over, she usually is over most days since she lives off campus and it's just easier to hang around. Sometimes for minutes, sometime for hours. She's been coming over like this since Septemeber.
The complaint:
The complaint was not put against me specifically,it was put against our house. However after speaking to the Residence Assistant (who then reported to the Residence Life Coordinator) it is now specifically my problem. Essentially someone in the housing district lodged the complaint (not in my townhouse, as stated by the Residence Life Coordinator), this basically means someone (a student) is taking the time to keep track of who is coming in and out of the house. (I have the feeling the three people who complained are either roommates or friends)
The talk with the Residence Life Coordinator:
Essentially he initially accused me of having my girlfriend living there, said not to have her over as much and that despite the frequency of her future visits, if another complaint comes in I will be put brought in to have a little meeting to discuss whether or not I am going to e evicted. Also Might I add that my girlfriend is a student at this university as well.
Here is the exact quoted conversation (I recorded it, since I've heard of other people getting "screwed" over, so just in case): For the sake of not putting in real names, I will put in fake names:
So essentially I've come to a few deductions, I have been avoiding having my girlfriend over at all, since it's obvious someone is taking the time out of their day to watch. I am afraid to even have her over for 10 minutes to kill time, or just to grab something since whoever is watching might see her come in, but not see her leave and deem her staying over, leading to further suspicion that she is living there. Right now I am not entirely sure what to do, I am going to call the Residence Life Coordinator back on Monday to see if something can be worked out, since I don't think I should be in fear of eviction each time my girlfriend is near my house.
If anyone has any suggestions to the matter, that would be wonderful. Here are some helpful things:
Residence Rules:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/application-of-residence-community-standards/
Community Standards:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/defining-community-standards/
The Contract I signed:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/uploads/docs/contracts/res-contract-water.pdfhttp://residence.lakeheadu.ca/uploads/docs/contracts/res-contract-water.pdf
Residence Rights and Responsibilities:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/residence-rights-and-responsibilities/
Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms:
http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/charter/#garantie
Where do I live?
I live on campus in a townhouse at Lakehead University in Ontario Canada. (it's a townhouse owned by the school)
Why am I being threatened with eviction?
Three people went straight to the Residence Life Coordinator (Kind of like a Dean) and stated that as of January 2009 my girlfriend has moved all of her stuff in the townhouse and is currently living there. (I would like to add in most situations like this, generally people either talk to whom they have a problem with, or the Residence Assistant assigned to the area)
Also the Residence Assistant looked around the house, said that my roommates girlfriend's clothes (who is a known visitor to the university from out of town) has her clothes all over his room, the storage room is more full than previous, and all of my hair and skin products are evidence that someone else has moved in. Essentially he stated that he does not believe I own that many products, and there are way more boxes in the storage room so someone moved in. About the storage room, I ruffled around there looking for something and didn't bother stacking the boxes neatly, so it looked like it was "full" however since then I cleaned it by organizing the boxes the way they were prior without actually taking anything out of the room and there is literally twice the room.
Why is this bad?
I could be sub-letting, or just letting her live there for free. Basically only the four people who are assigned to live there are allowed to live there.
The truth:
My girlfriend is in fact not living in my townhouse, she has some bathroom items, a small tote bag with a couple outfits, a stick of deodorant and a bottle of moisturizer. She maybe spends 3/4 nights a week over, she usually is over most days since she lives off campus and it's just easier to hang around. Sometimes for minutes, sometime for hours. She's been coming over like this since Septemeber.
The complaint:
The complaint was not put against me specifically,it was put against our house. However after speaking to the Residence Assistant (who then reported to the Residence Life Coordinator) it is now specifically my problem. Essentially someone in the housing district lodged the complaint (not in my townhouse, as stated by the Residence Life Coordinator), this basically means someone (a student) is taking the time to keep track of who is coming in and out of the house. (I have the feeling the three people who complained are either roommates or friends)
The talk with the Residence Life Coordinator:
Essentially he initially accused me of having my girlfriend living there, said not to have her over as much and that despite the frequency of her future visits, if another complaint comes in I will be put brought in to have a little meeting to discuss whether or not I am going to e evicted. Also Might I add that my girlfriend is a student at this university as well.
Here is the exact quoted conversation (I recorded it, since I've heard of other people getting "screwed" over, so just in case): For the sake of not putting in real names, I will put in fake names:
Me: Hello.
Him: Hi, is this Bob?
Me: Yes.
Him: Hey Bob is Harold how are you?
Me: I am not too bad how about you?
Him: Good thanks.
Me: Um... I spoke to the Residence Assistant yesterday and uh and I found out what was going on and would it be better to speak in person, or is the phone alright?
Him: Uh... It's up to you. If you want to talk over the phone I am more than happy to do that, but if you want to come over we can do that to: I don't have any appointments booked---
Me: Okay
Him: -- Right now so I know you have class at 2:00pm so maybe time is an issue.
Me: Well it's like 2:30pm (the class) and I wasn't sure if like I was going to get called down there or not so that's why I said 2:00pm.
Him: Oh okay... So... so you know the deal right? Like your girlfriend is living there. Right?
Me: ....No. She is not living here.
Him: She is not living there? Okay well she's there like everyday right?
Me: Um like a few days a week. (I took that as him asking if she stayed over every night)
Him: Oh okay, see I am hearing something totally different.
Me: Oh.
Him: Uh... and that's why it's a concern of ours right?
Me: Mmhmm
Him: Um so what I want to see is something we can come up with so that she can stay ya know, from time to time and all that stuff without it becoming a major hassle-like I don't know if it's a big deal to the other roommates or not. Um but it does become a big deal and it's a bigger deal to us because we have extra people staying here, we don't know who those people are.
Me: Mmhmm
Him: Right so, Um... Like I've had more than three people have said that she is living there. Like full on with all her stuff everything since uh January, the beginning of January. So.
Me: Um
Him: So like I said, like that's why I had to bother you so and check it out. Right?
Me: Yeah.
Him: And see so.
Me: Well I spoke to the Residence Assistant and he said that um he looked at all my hair and skin stuff and he just immediately assumed that it was hers.
Him: Okay.
Me: When... maybe out of I am going to guess the 40 items (actually like 25 I counted after, and it's of separate products like moisturizer, toothpaste, hair spray..etc.) that I have two of them on the actual thing (the cabinet) are actually hers, like just a stick of deodorant --
Him: Right.
Me: --and Moisturizer and then I think she has a tote bag full of stuff here and that's pretty much it.
Him: Okay, cause in our opinion and our opinion alone if we think she is living there then you will be evicted and as will she.
Me: Okay.
Him: And I don't want to see that happen right? Cause we've already talked about the Cat issue earlier on right? (I had a cat over at my house for one day, a few days later he called our entire house over saying we had a cat living there. I told him straight that my girlfriend brought the cat over for one day and I figured it would be alright, even though pets are not allowed.)
Me: Yeah.
Him: So..Um.. So that's what we want to avoid in this situation.
Me: Okay.
Him: So... if she is living there she can't be, and if you're telling me that she 's not I don't have any reason to disagree with you.
Me: Mmhmm.
Him: There is a number of people that are telling me that she is.
Me: Okay.
Him: So.... I don't know why they would come to me with this information unless there was a reason.
Me: Okay, um would it help if I showed you, like I got a copy of her actual contract for where she actually lives?
Him: Oooh, there's no I am not denying the fact that she might have another location or on paper she might be as what I am saying to you is that's fine. The reality is or the perception of reality is that she's there six or seven days a week.
Me: Okay.
Him: And that's too many days. Now my suggestion that is if she has another place maybe you can split it up . And you can go over there . But that's just ... you know. Like I said that's just my opinion. So.
Me: Okay.
Him: Okay?
Me: Yeah.
Him: So, that's the deal so ya know if it isn't a problem, if she isn't living there she should be there maybe a bit less. To get rid of the of this perception. Um and if she IS living there then uh, then you're gonna have a conversation with her about maybe not doing so. So it all comes down to you right?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Um..
Me: Well I am not really...
Him: But if I keep getting- but if I keep getting people coming to me saying this ... then we're going to have no choice but to ask you to leave.
Me: Okay, but if it's if she's actually not living here and then people keep saying it anyway then... what....
Him: Well then my question is: then why, where would their perception of that come from? And the only thing I could suggest that the fact that she is that she is there .... ALL the time.
Me: Okay.
Him: Right? so....I don't know what incentive these people have to say this. Um... to me and it's not just even your roommates right. That's the thing. If it were your roommates then I'd get it.
Me: Yeah.
Him: But it's not. So, you know I don't know if it's other friends, or what. Like I don't know.
Me: Um. It's just cause she's been staying um... over just as much as she's has been for the entire year. And I don't Like.
Him: Alrighty.
Me: Beforehand so, I am not really--
Him: Okay well I am not, I am not you know what I mean, like I am just letting you know what's brought to my attention and um I am just you know so that it's not ..... you know kind of left field for you if...
Me: And also too like if another thing that wouldn't help is that we also have similar classes together too.
Him: Right.
Me: So that she's over here before class, and then we leave for class together too.
Him: Right.
Me: So... and then we usually come back from class then either she stays or she goes.
Him: Right.
Me: So that's pretty much the only reason, the only time people would see her and um I guess I would like to also add that she as never had a copy of my keys, I have always had them.
Him: Okay.
Me: So if t door is ever locked, she's not able to get in.
Him: Right.
Me: Yeah.
Him: Um I don't know she's there when you're not there.
Me: Okay um, sometimes when I am in class...
Him: Right.
Me: But I already talked to my roommates about it and they said it's alright. They know her from last year because they lived with her last year.
Him: Right. So anyway just passing it on to you. So like I said like if we have to deal with it, we will. But I am preferring that we don't. And that's why this is more of a conversation that anything else, so I just wanted to uh to let you know where things are at.
Me: Okay Um... I was just curious what would happen if in the case that um, if people kept on complaining despite the fact that she is even over less.
Him: What would happen, then we you and me and her would probably sit down an talk about it and, the Manager of Residence Ron Kerbunkle would take action, and that could be eviction. And it wouldn't be the first time that's happened so...
Me: Okay.
Him: Um... and that's um, you know. It's 100% avoidable so, you know what I mean?
Me: Yeah.
Him: And so that's why I am just like uh I would hate for that to happen.
Me: Yeah.
Him: That's obviously you would too, that goes without saying cause--
Me: Yeah, I'd probably have to go home hahaha
Him: Yeah, so I am just giving you the heads up, you know in, that's where things are at. so.
Me: Alright.
Him: And I am glad we talked about it, and now you know from me where I am coming from, and uh yeah so maybe the two of you can figure out a game plan to go from here.
Me: Okay.
Him: Alright?
Me: Alright thanks.
Him: Okay bye Bob.
Me: Have a good day.
Him: You too, bye bye.
Me: Bye.
Him: Hi, is this Bob?
Me: Yes.
Him: Hey Bob is Harold how are you?
Me: I am not too bad how about you?
Him: Good thanks.
Me: Um... I spoke to the Residence Assistant yesterday and uh and I found out what was going on and would it be better to speak in person, or is the phone alright?
Him: Uh... It's up to you. If you want to talk over the phone I am more than happy to do that, but if you want to come over we can do that to: I don't have any appointments booked---
Me: Okay
Him: -- Right now so I know you have class at 2:00pm so maybe time is an issue.
Me: Well it's like 2:30pm (the class) and I wasn't sure if like I was going to get called down there or not so that's why I said 2:00pm.
Him: Oh okay... So... so you know the deal right? Like your girlfriend is living there. Right?
Me: ....No. She is not living here.
Him: She is not living there? Okay well she's there like everyday right?
Me: Um like a few days a week. (I took that as him asking if she stayed over every night)
Him: Oh okay, see I am hearing something totally different.
Me: Oh.
Him: Uh... and that's why it's a concern of ours right?
Me: Mmhmm
Him: Um so what I want to see is something we can come up with so that she can stay ya know, from time to time and all that stuff without it becoming a major hassle-like I don't know if it's a big deal to the other roommates or not. Um but it does become a big deal and it's a bigger deal to us because we have extra people staying here, we don't know who those people are.
Me: Mmhmm
Him: Right so, Um... Like I've had more than three people have said that she is living there. Like full on with all her stuff everything since uh January, the beginning of January. So.
Me: Um
Him: So like I said, like that's why I had to bother you so and check it out. Right?
Me: Yeah.
Him: And see so.
Me: Well I spoke to the Residence Assistant and he said that um he looked at all my hair and skin stuff and he just immediately assumed that it was hers.
Him: Okay.
Me: When... maybe out of I am going to guess the 40 items (actually like 25 I counted after, and it's of separate products like moisturizer, toothpaste, hair spray..etc.) that I have two of them on the actual thing (the cabinet) are actually hers, like just a stick of deodorant --
Him: Right.
Me: --and Moisturizer and then I think she has a tote bag full of stuff here and that's pretty much it.
Him: Okay, cause in our opinion and our opinion alone if we think she is living there then you will be evicted and as will she.
Me: Okay.
Him: And I don't want to see that happen right? Cause we've already talked about the Cat issue earlier on right? (I had a cat over at my house for one day, a few days later he called our entire house over saying we had a cat living there. I told him straight that my girlfriend brought the cat over for one day and I figured it would be alright, even though pets are not allowed.)
Me: Yeah.
Him: So..Um.. So that's what we want to avoid in this situation.
Me: Okay.
Him: So... if she is living there she can't be, and if you're telling me that she 's not I don't have any reason to disagree with you.
Me: Mmhmm.
Him: There is a number of people that are telling me that she is.
Me: Okay.
Him: So.... I don't know why they would come to me with this information unless there was a reason.
Me: Okay, um would it help if I showed you, like I got a copy of her actual contract for where she actually lives?
Him: Oooh, there's no I am not denying the fact that she might have another location or on paper she might be as what I am saying to you is that's fine. The reality is or the perception of reality is that she's there six or seven days a week.
Me: Okay.
Him: And that's too many days. Now my suggestion that is if she has another place maybe you can split it up . And you can go over there . But that's just ... you know. Like I said that's just my opinion. So.
Me: Okay.
Him: Okay?
Me: Yeah.
Him: So, that's the deal so ya know if it isn't a problem, if she isn't living there she should be there maybe a bit less. To get rid of the of this perception. Um and if she IS living there then uh, then you're gonna have a conversation with her about maybe not doing so. So it all comes down to you right?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Um..
Me: Well I am not really...
Him: But if I keep getting- but if I keep getting people coming to me saying this ... then we're going to have no choice but to ask you to leave.
Me: Okay, but if it's if she's actually not living here and then people keep saying it anyway then... what....
Him: Well then my question is: then why, where would their perception of that come from? And the only thing I could suggest that the fact that she is that she is there .... ALL the time.
Me: Okay.
Him: Right? so....I don't know what incentive these people have to say this. Um... to me and it's not just even your roommates right. That's the thing. If it were your roommates then I'd get it.
Me: Yeah.
Him: But it's not. So, you know I don't know if it's other friends, or what. Like I don't know.
Me: Um. It's just cause she's been staying um... over just as much as she's has been for the entire year. And I don't Like.
Him: Alrighty.
Me: Beforehand so, I am not really--
Him: Okay well I am not, I am not you know what I mean, like I am just letting you know what's brought to my attention and um I am just you know so that it's not ..... you know kind of left field for you if...
Me: And also too like if another thing that wouldn't help is that we also have similar classes together too.
Him: Right.
Me: So that she's over here before class, and then we leave for class together too.
Him: Right.
Me: So... and then we usually come back from class then either she stays or she goes.
Him: Right.
Me: So that's pretty much the only reason, the only time people would see her and um I guess I would like to also add that she as never had a copy of my keys, I have always had them.
Him: Okay.
Me: So if t door is ever locked, she's not able to get in.
Him: Right.
Me: Yeah.
Him: Um I don't know she's there when you're not there.
Me: Okay um, sometimes when I am in class...
Him: Right.
Me: But I already talked to my roommates about it and they said it's alright. They know her from last year because they lived with her last year.
Him: Right. So anyway just passing it on to you. So like I said like if we have to deal with it, we will. But I am preferring that we don't. And that's why this is more of a conversation that anything else, so I just wanted to uh to let you know where things are at.
Me: Okay Um... I was just curious what would happen if in the case that um, if people kept on complaining despite the fact that she is even over less.
Him: What would happen, then we you and me and her would probably sit down an talk about it and, the Manager of Residence Ron Kerbunkle would take action, and that could be eviction. And it wouldn't be the first time that's happened so...
Me: Okay.
Him: Um... and that's um, you know. It's 100% avoidable so, you know what I mean?
Me: Yeah.
Him: And so that's why I am just like uh I would hate for that to happen.
Me: Yeah.
Him: That's obviously you would too, that goes without saying cause--
Me: Yeah, I'd probably have to go home hahaha
Him: Yeah, so I am just giving you the heads up, you know in, that's where things are at. so.
Me: Alright.
Him: And I am glad we talked about it, and now you know from me where I am coming from, and uh yeah so maybe the two of you can figure out a game plan to go from here.
Me: Okay.
Him: Alright?
Me: Alright thanks.
Him: Okay bye Bob.
Me: Have a good day.
Him: You too, bye bye.
Me: Bye.
So essentially I've come to a few deductions, I have been avoiding having my girlfriend over at all, since it's obvious someone is taking the time out of their day to watch. I am afraid to even have her over for 10 minutes to kill time, or just to grab something since whoever is watching might see her come in, but not see her leave and deem her staying over, leading to further suspicion that she is living there. Right now I am not entirely sure what to do, I am going to call the Residence Life Coordinator back on Monday to see if something can be worked out, since I don't think I should be in fear of eviction each time my girlfriend is near my house.
If anyone has any suggestions to the matter, that would be wonderful. Here are some helpful things:
Residence Rules:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/application-of-residence-community-standards/
Community Standards:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/defining-community-standards/
The Contract I signed:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/uploads/docs/contracts/res-contract-water.pdfhttp://residence.lakeheadu.ca/uploads/docs/contracts/res-contract-water.pdf
Residence Rights and Responsibilities:
http://residence.lakeheadu.ca/residence-rights-and-responsibilities/
Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms:
http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/charter/#garantie
randomman on
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I don't know, neither do my roommates, I do know there is the Student Union, however I know that they will just call the Residence Coordinator.
My girlfriend is in fact not living in my townhouse, she has some bathroom items, a small tote bag with a couple outfits, a stick of deodorant and a bottle of moisturizer. She maybe spends 3/4 nights a week over, she usually is over most days since she lives off campus and it's just easier to hang around. Sometimes for minutes, sometime for hours. She's been coming over like this since Septemeber."
I have no idea what the legal standards, or campus rules, or whatever are. But Dude. There are only 7 nights in a week. If she's staying there 3-4 nights a week and also there most days, she's living there.
Also, as an aside, I had a roommate who's g/f spent a similar amount of time in our apartment, and I wanted to murder her. I guarantee that she is driving your roommates crazy by being around that much.
My roommates are actually friends with her, they were friends with her before she was with me. They get along better with her than I.
I don't see how that's deemed as living there.
Do you really not? She spends more nights there than not, she spends most days there. I'm just telling you how it looks, man.
It's lame if that's the case in any event, because it means one of your friends is being very passive aggressive with you. But the way to get them to not be passive aggressive is to create an environment where they don't feel discussing the issue would lead to a big confrontation.
The Residence Life Coordinator stated that it wasn't my roommates, He said it was someone else in the Housing District (or Phase). I don't really know / talk to anyone else in the Housing District.
*Edit* He said in our conversation that if my roommates were the ones, I would be evicted without question.
Well technically if she is not in fact living there, she isn't breaking any rules.
We don't split on rent, everyone in Residence, even in the apartments and townhouses have to pay the same flat rate. There is no additional charge for internet, cable, electric and gas. And like I said, my roommates in earnest, don't have a problem with her. We usually just spend time in my room, we don't make any noise, there is no mess created in the house and she only eats my food. Pretty much the same deal when I am at her place.
This thread isn't going to go anywhere if you keep refusing to admit the facts.
By almost anyone standard, she is indeed living there. If you had said that she spends the weekend over, then there's more leeway, but by your own admission she is spending 3/4 days a week(and honestly, I'm inclined to believe it's 4 or more, as people generally try to understate things like this)
Also, it's not just one person that complained, it was three, so it looks like they honestly had something to complain about, and that you're in denial. It doesn't matter if she doesn't eat any of their stuff, or that she spends most of the time in your room, the room mates could still be uncomfortable, or just plain annoyed that she's getting a free room.
Though I'll admit that if it was your roommates, it's kinda crappy they went over your head.
It doesn't matter dude. Just because she is paying rent to live in another building on campus doesn't mean she gets to stay in whatever one she wants. That's just how it works, believe me, I live on campus too..
Ok. This would be the relevant rule you are breaking. Yes, you are going to argue "but she doesn't stay consecutive nights!" It doesn't matter, you are violating the spirit of the rule. She is staying over too much, there is a rule against it. If you don't like it you can move off campus, perhaps into an apartment with your girlfriend.
I don't mean to come off harsh, but you are living on campus. You have to follow their rules, even when you don't like them.
PSN Hypacia
Xbox HypaciaMinnow
Discord Hypacia#0391
What? There's no rule against "staying over too much" - the rule is just that, a line-drawing of when having someone over constitutes them living there - and the answer is if it's longer than 3 nights. I would ask your residential life guy if it's going to be a problem if she does stay over - if you express to him how nerve-wracking this has been and how violated you feel, in a way that is non-accusatory, I think he'll try to be conciliatory - especially since you've barely been breaking the rule to begin with.
If it's really not someoen else in the apartment, wtf else can be going on? Is it some poopsocker shut-in next door who got angry because you guys were noisy sometimes?
As someone who has worked in Res Life Housing for awhile, these are my thoughts. You need to first and foremost get Res Life off your back. You can quote regulations and get legalistic, but the fact of the matter is that you need this to go away. This being said, step one is to show that she has, indeed, moved out of the house. Get all of her stuff in a little bag and toss it into the car or give it back to her for safekeeping.
You need to show Res Life that there is no potential problem, not that the problem is within the legal guidelines of what you're allowed. You can argue until you're blue in the face, but you'll lose if they want you to lose. Life is not fair, and the only thing our legal system does in this case is prove that a large body (the school) can trample all over you if they want due to the fact that you're a student.
Once she's out of the house you need to maintain your innocence. This is a case where you're actions have brought attention, and regardless of the validity of the claim you need to address and solve this like a rational human. Put yourself in the clear "right," prove it to the school and maintain that you weren't breaking any rules.
You need to confront whoever is miffed by this. A statement like "I know my girlfriend comes over a lot, but I don't believe that it breaks my housing contract. If this is effecting someone else, I want to work it out with them instead of being threatened by eviction." See if they can set up a "mediation" or other meeting. Either a neighbor, housemate or RA has complained, and you need to be able to set some ground rules and get a resolution.
What you're aiming for is some sort of clear understanding of how often and how your girlfriend can visit to avoid this crap. If you get all of her stuff out and get her to stay away for awhile, you can even have a conversation to the same effect as above with the Res Life Coordinator. Make sure you are completely aware of the expectations, and that will allow you to manage the situation without falling into a blurred-line pit.
In all honesty, it sucks. This said, if you can resolve this now the problem will most likely go away if you're careful. The other option is as previously suggested: get a place with her off-campus and do whatever you like.
This all sounds like a hell of a reaction from Res Life, but I can assure you that they don't want you gone unless there's something else going on, here. Are you a party house? Do you and your roommates/friends cause damage to the campus? Do you routinely make noise at all hours of the night? Have you been a problem for Res Life on multiple other occasions? If the answer to any of those questions is "yes" then this is probably not about your girlfriend at all, but about the fact that Res Life is looking for any reason to stop the other behavior. This doesn't seem likely by your description, but it is certainly worth the type-face to bring it up.
In short: Res Life's hands are tied as they must respect and uphold the rules. Show them there is no issue and resolve the problem from there with concrete guidelines of what is and is not allowed. Move forward from there. Once the problem is solved, asking point blank "how often can she visit?" will give you your guidelines for how not to get into this mess again.
Not to be snarky, but from my legal understanding, she most certainly is not living there. Typically (and this is in the USA and varies by state and locality) you are only considered a resident if you use the location as a permanent residence, you receive official mail there, or you are signed onto a legally binding document (lease, sub-lease, etc) associated with that residence. Of course, this is only the law as I know it within my region, and it certainly may be different for the OP since he's in Canada.
Fortunately for OP, it doesn't matter what the shit any single one of us thinks. And your opinion, my opinion, or "almost anyone's standards" that she is living there doesn't mean anything. Again, not to be snarky, but this is not really relevant to the court of common opinion. This is a legally binding matter and, as such, should be clearly defined by specific terms laid out and agreed upon by signing parties. If it is not clearly defined, then an appearance before a legally binding representative (judge, housing authority, etc) to review allegations and make ruling on the available defined terms is the only final course of action.
So, it is clearly defined. (thanks Elin for taking the time to read through OP's documents instead of offering conjecture) Well, there you go. As long as you do not violate these terms, you're fine. You should also consider this item:
All in all, it seems clear. Your roommates must agree to having your GF stay over and she may not stay more than 3 nights. However, the 3 night rule is vaguely worded and, if I were you, I would get that checked out with your Residential Fuhrer or whatever. Is it 3 nights in a row, 3 nights a week, 3 nights within the entirety of your stay at that residence? Under USA laws, such wording is too vague, and wouldn't be considered enforceable. Ergo, they would have to reword the agreement and get everyone to resign such agreements. But since this is Canada, I wouldn't recommend listening to that. Instead, ask for clarification about this "3 day" ruling and abide by it.
Also, I would say move the hell out of there as soon as you can.
Normal noise level permitted between the hours of 6pm and 9pm
Yeah, that's some stupid bullshit. Move as soon as you can.
Steam ID - BewilderedRonin
It's called living on campus. Its like high school, you are held to rules even if they are not backed by law. He isn't dealing with a landlord.
3-4 nights is a lot for someone not living there. I don't think you need to worry about the time she spends during the day, but having her spend nights is making it more difficult and will get you evicted.
If she is going to spend the night, she needs to keep her shit in her car and not leave it at your place. It's not "your room", its the universities.
water spirals the wrong way out the sink
I'd knock off one day and you'll probably see better results, also have her take the tote bag and such home with her... Having another person's stuff there makes it look like she is... Like the guy was saying, there's a perception that she's living there, so create a perception that she is not... If she's showing up without anything in her arms, or trunk of her car she could be perceived as coming home, if she's arriving with luggage she'd be perceived as visiting, not convenient no, but as the dude said, the others are having a perception that she is living there, so make the perception that she's not. It wont be convenient, but easier for you.
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It's called living on campus. Its like high school, you are held to rules even if they are not backed by law. He isn't dealing with a landlord.
3-4 nights is a lot for someone not living there. I don't think you need to worry about the time she spends during the day, but having her spend nights is making it more difficult and will get you evicted.
If she is going to spend the night, she needs to keep her shit in her car and not leave it at your place. It's not "your room", its the universities.
Considering it is Canada, it may vary. However, in the USA, it doesn't matter whether it's a landlord, your parents, or a college housing authority, they are all required to abide by whatever contractual obligations were agreed upon. They may not violate those terms under violation of law and potential damages. Likewise, the resident who agreed by the terms is also required to abide by them (the contractual obligations).
You also don't seem to understand that there is a difference (again, at least in the USA) between the rights of minors versus the rights of an adult. The reason why various other restrictions may be placed upon high school students is because they are minors and not afforded full rights or protections under the law. Hence why those under 18 do not, for example, have full First Amendment rights. This is also why minors are not allowed to sign legally binding contracts.
All of the above is completely irrelevant. The only thing here that is relevant is the "3 days" ruling, which is vague. Again, I would not recommend challenging this or making a stink. Instead, ask for a clarification because "[OP] don't want to violate [their] rule, which [OP] respect and didn't realize [OP] was in violation of." (insert I's and you's as necessary) Personally, I'd call BS on the "makeup here means she's staying over all the time" finding, which is insufficient in commiting a proper burden of proof, but again, I don't know crap about Canadian law.
Steam ID - BewilderedRonin
I think you're in the wrong here.
This isn't a matter of feeling. When it comes down to laws, rules, and regulations it is (usually) finely cut. Do what they say or you face the consequences. The authority is given a certain level of discretion, but if they are found violating their own terms they can be forced to abide by them by court order. It's also unclear as to who this "they" are. He doesn't know if it is roommates or if it's just some ticked off neighbor. (people are weird. I had a neighbor repeatedly try to evict me because I left a tiny ashtray outside. he called it "an unsightly and excessive mess." after checking it out a few times, the landlord decided to stop checking on the complaints)
The best thing is to just abide by the rules, and I don't mean just barely skate by them. OP needs to tell his GF that she can't hang around like she used to. That she can stay over, but only for one or two nights every other week at most. I know it sucks, but it's better than having to deal with a bunch of bureaucratic crap. Plus, they already have anecdotal (though potentially inadmissable) evidence to support their assertions that OP's GF is staying over more than is allowed by their terms. Once OP gets his own place, then he can have some more freedom, but at the moment he is bound by the terms and restrictions set forth by the housing authorities in which he resides and which he agreed to. He already agreed to the terms, so there is no leeway. Abide or face whatever repercussions may arise.
(all preceding is as understood by USA and my regional (VA) codes of law and may vary. advice is not absolute and if legal matter should arise, the service of an official attorney versed in applicable law should be sought)
Steam ID - BewilderedRonin
In short, this is what you're going to have to do to keep Res Life from moving forward and evicting you. Not to be a downer, but just based on everything you've stated in your OP, they have enough evidence to at least try to remove you from the apartment. Add in the fact you've violated the rules before (with the cat) they're not going to cut you any slack. In other words, keep the GF and her stuff away until this is resolved.
What you really need to concern yourself with is who are the narcs who are complaining. Because even if the GF issue is resolved, if they want to you gone that badly (for whatever reason) they'll just trump something else up and complain again. Something tells me your relationship with your roomies and neighbors isn't as peachy as you make it out to be
I'm guessing that people didn't have a problem until noise started being made, and kept noticing more people in the room than would normally be. A party on Saturday, no big deal. Hearing loud noises 4 times a week? Someone's going to complain. Also, if applicable, a parking space being used up will annoy people as well.
Mmm yeah it seems I am taking this a bit too personally and I need to cool down and take this like a rational human being. She's already cut down on her visiting, I just don't want to get a complaint even though she's spending the night 1-2 nights a week. I in earnest would like to talk and work something out with the people who made the complaint (odds are it's just the people in the townhouse next door) but there is no way that I can know that to work something out with them.
Other than the Cat issue and this one, in the two years that I have been at this University I haven't had any issues with the rules. As far as I know my roommates are the same, we haven't had any parties. However our townhouse is a single floor (different because the bottom floor is a handicap single floor) so our entire house is on top of someone elses; I know I can hear them walking and running around, I can only imagine it's worse for them. The only problem I would know of would be when they came over to ask my roommates to not play rockband the one time. They've stopped since.
So I guess the best option is to suck it up, cut it down to 1-2 nights a week and hope for the best and hope they don't complain.
I don't think you get it.
No overnight visits until this is cleared, and staying in the green with Res Life and your school is more important than getting your funk on. It sucks, I know. The number of times I pulled up records from 5-10 years ago in response to a request from an employer looking for integrity violations are countless. I'm not certain what the laws are in Canada, but you don't need a glaring eviction in public records.
Res Life isn't out to get you, but they are required to deal with the complaint. Save yourself the trouble and keep your nose clean.
Edit: I realize I'm coming off as severe. After this calms down you shouldn't have an issue and I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to have her over 3-4 nights a week again, with a better understanding of rules and regulations. This is why I believe attempting to mediate with or confront your accuser is important. From what you've shared with us you either 1) Make a lot of noise/disrupt others or 2) Really pissed someone off to the point where they're willing to fuck with you to get their revenge. Honestly, being able to sit down with someone and say "I didn't realize that I was keeping you up at 3AM! I'll be more aware of my noise level from now on" and following through is what will keep you out of trouble in the future.
We used to bust repeat offenders for whatever we could. If we knew they were always smoking in the dorms and pissing people off, we'd often settle for busting them for noise violations as opening a file and pointing out violations makes it easier to get AoD and Integrity convictions stick. Keep in mind that the girlfriend's overnight stays may not be the actual problem at hand.
Check in with the neighbors downstairs and, through apology, ask them if there is a problem and sit down to brainstorm a way to solve it. If there's antagonistics on either side I'm certain that Res Life would be happy to act as a mediator for a conversation.
I think I will play it safe and not have her over for nights as you suggest. I would also want to mention that if someone is indeed pissed off I don't think it's me specifically, at least in my best guess. It could just be against my roommates or even my roommates girlfriend from out of town, I am not saying it's most likely not me or my girlfriend, just that this is solely not just from my interactions.
I should talk to the people downstairs and see if there is anything they are concerned about, however even so there is no actual way of me knowing who is actually making the complaint since Residence Life policy's to keep that person's identity safe. That just in case it isn't the neighbors and then I'll just be left looking over my shoulder wondering who is watching me.
Also, even if this all plays out nicely, this will still go as a negative strike against me? (In Residence Life Coordinator's records)
There's a huge difference between "Was Evicted" and "Was threatened by Eviction and resolved the problem after a meeting." What you don't want or need is the former, while the latter shows responsibility, maturity and an ability to comprehend a problem to come to a resolution.
Don't get me wrong, your situation sucks and I believe that Reslife, off-record, would agree that it isn't unreasonable to have a SO visit multiple times a week. In my experience, while not the absolute norm it is very, very common to find two people in separate campus housing shaking up together. What I don't get is where this came from.
You could always request that Res Life ask the complainant if they would mediate. Res Life may even agree to deliver a letter to this person that you wrote in order to to ask for a face-to-face to resolve differences and to ensure that it doesn't happen again. Really, just be cooperative and roll with the punches. There's no need to get angry or upset in front of anyone else. Save that for behind closed doors (at low volumes :P)
It is EXTREMELY difficult to have someone actually evicted, and I am pretty sure you can't be evicted for having someone live with you who isn't on the lease. It may be different because it sounds like you are in a special housing situation, but the housing tribunal can help you.
That's what they're there for.
http://www.ltb.gov.on.ca/en/STEL02_111281.html
QFT... i'd bet that it's actually one of your roomies that has complained (and wants to avoid direct confrontation with you)
i'd be pissed off if my roommate in student housing basically had a live in girlfriend (constituting another person that uses the kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc.)... but i'd deal with you directly rather than going to the RA
I can almost guarantee that it's a roommate and Harold is just trying to keep everything confidential.
Hell, go halfsies with the girl. You may even be able to find an apartment that accepts financial aide from the school.
Also, indeed as Bowen said it's extremely likely that it's one of your roommates making the complaint. And rightly so: they didn't ask to live with this girl. Should they have come to you about it? Perhaps... but judging by the responses you've given in this thread, the odds are high that you would've just denied what they were saying (and/or gotten unreasonably upset) if they confronted you directly. They still should've come to you directly, but that's likely where they were coming from when they decided to skip going to you and went straight to the authorities.