Tackling a ton of stress quickly.

taeric

So, I feel like I've been on a roller coaster this past year and am now fighting to stay on. Briefest of summaries: Got married, lost grandmother to sickness, lost father in law to cancer, got laid off, lost father to suicide.

It is the last 3 that are hitting really hard (go figure). Worse, as excited as I was about getting a new job, losing my father like this has almost completely derailed me to the point that I can not really do any interviews right now.

So, any suggestions on dealing with things like this? Would it help to try and start a strong exercise regime? (I'm thinking long jogs and such. Possibly something to try and release anger and such.)

Ohio

It doesn't seem like there'd be an easy answer for this. Exercise might help, talking about what you're feeling might help, taking a vacation... A lot of things will help, but nothing's going to solve all that. Sorry you're going through it all at once but really, it's just going to take time. Getting over the loss of loved ones isn't really something that can be forgotten by "stress relief" activities. Good luck.

taeric

Makes sense. I think that I'm basically trying to use this as a place to start talking about it. Just typing it all out for others is difficult right now. I am briefly familiar with the basic steps of loss and such, but knowing about them is not making them any easier to deal with. Especially when I'm trying to care/provide for my family and such.

Edit: And, I forgot to say, thanks.

urahonky

How long ago was this terrible incident? The #1 healer is time, but if you need help now then I'd say exercise is a good thing to start with. Volunteering will help out a lot as well, since you're helping people in need. But that's up to you if you want to try that... I just know that if I'm feeling down about something, or really stressed about a lot of things... Helping those in need makes me feel a lot better.

Do you go to Church or anything? They'd have good programs to help you get over it and/or help with your stress level.

taeric

Last week. It finally all caught up with me in full yesterday.

And I understand the time aspect. However, I'm supposed to be interviewing for jobs right now (laid off two weeks ago), and I would be a bald face lier if I said I can do interviews right now. I got the news right before a big interview that I just sorta coasted through in a fog, if you will. Shocker, they didn't think I was an energetic choice and want me to reapply in a few months.

Szechuanosaurus

taeric wrote: »

want me to reapply in a few months.

I agree with them. Ok, so not having an income is going to be stressful and you want to fix that, but you ought to take time to deal with your grief right now, not 'walk it off' so you can keep going to job interviews.

It's a terrible situation, but you will cope with it much better if you deal with one thing at a time right now.

urahonky

Ah okay, I'm sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I don't think there is a surefire way of getting you better without time. I assume you're collecting unemployment because you were laid off? If so maybe you could just use this time to get better?

taeric

I guess I did forget one of the ups to my rollercoaster. We are expecting a child in July. Unemployment has not started yet because I did get a small severence. (I am also unsure when it will start as I did get a contract with the company that let me go to finish up some work. That ends today, officially. Probably extending it some due to last week.)

MeepZero

As rough as it is to deal with it, grieving and time is the only way to get through all the loss. The new job problem is only a matter of you finding yourself again and collecting your wits enough that you can sell yourself. Don't rush it though, just take your time, keep yourself physically and mentally active. If exercise isn't your thing then try to find a low impact hobby. What kind of work do you do? Is there something you can spend time with doing that could help you with your job and still let you pass the time while your looking for employment?

supabeast

Eat right and work out. No alcohol or other drugs. If you have room, get a dog (seriously, dogs are great for stress). If you have the money go spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods.

KrunkMcGrunk

I've been going through a lot of stress too. It's mainly because I'm in my last year of college, I own a house, I have a full-time job, and I have a major that requires me to put in a ton of outside effort. In the past year I have been busier than ever. Sometimes, I barely get a chance to catch my breath. And I'm starting an internship this summer that is unpaid, requiring me to keep my job while doing the internship.

What keeps me from getting a migrane every day are two things.

1. Whenever really stressful thoughts start to creep into my mind, I will close my eyes, concentrate on relaxing my muscles, and count to 10, breathing in and out rhythmically with my counting.

2. I go to the gym three times a week. Which has been a huge stress reliever.

LewieP's Mummy

I'm so sorry, its would be hard enough dealing with just one of those things, never mind so many. There's no easy solution to dealing with all the emotional stresses you're trying to deal with, but obvious stuff is to eat healthily and have some exercise, avoid caffeine, alcohol and drugs, as they won't help (even if it feels like they do, in the long run you're just storing up even more problems). Make sure you are talking to your wife, don't bottle things up, remember she's grieving as well.

taeric

Hmm.... I knew to avoid drugs and alcohol. Caffeine, though, is something I am not avoiding right now. I was actually "giving up coffee" when I got the news about my father. Since then, I have given up that endeavor. I guess I should resume it?

Endomatic

I had a big post typed up but my internet went out, so I'll summarize.

Don't try and deal with it quickly. It doesn't work. There really isn't a way to do that. You're going to feel sad and probably for quite some time.

Exercising is the best way to relieve stress, and is so good for your body in every way.
Just don't go all out right away. You can either injure yourself, or more likely, give up because you aren't used to the pace you're undertaking.

Also make sure you have the proper attire. Shoes and what not.

Whether or not you want to drink coffee is entirely up to you. If you like it, or find it soothing and helpful, then there really isn't any reason to not have some. Moderation of course.

GoodOmens

You've gone through, in a fairly short period of time, 6 of the biggest stress producers a person can experience. I think you should consider going to a therapist so that you have a space to talk things out. Obviously, this depends on your financial situation after losing your job, so it might not be feasible for you.