Would very much like some critiquing on this

tellahsage

I don't really know where to post it. I don't want to post this in the Writer's Block because I feel like it's not, you know, actually literature so it doesn't belong there.

And please don't call me a troll. I haven't been here long but I have been here and posted here for a couple of months and I'm just looking for outside opinions (in other words, opinions that aren't friends and family who "have to be nice to me").

I started up a video game review website and I would like some opinions on how it looks/reads so far. I'm an English major who has to have a portfolio of work and other than unfinished novels that I never have time to get to I figured this would be a good way of having a showcase of my writing ability (and recently found out that it's acceptable to use a blog as a portfolio which is weird, but I digress).

Anyways, yeah, criticisms. The website is constantly being edited for grammar/content and there's not much on there yet (it's a 1-man operation) but I would like to know if it's complete garbage or just some general ideas on how to make my reviews/the site in general any better.


"Will Game for Food"
http://mark.fakepixeltrees.com

Ohio

The site looks decent. The design of it isn't a turnoff.

I think the main problem you're going to face is that, without some kind of access to the gaming industry that a normal person couldn't get, what makes your site interesting? You've written your impressions of the RE5 demo. But I can come to PA or Neogaf and read 100 impressions of the demo all in the same place.

You have to have content that no one else has. If, by February 13th, you'd played and beaten RE5 and wrote a complete review of it, obviously you'd have a significant reason for people to go to your site. It's not your fault you don't have stuff like that; there's no way you can get it. (Incidentally I don't think any sites have a review of RE5 at this point. I'm just using it as an example.)

Are you looking for an editorial opinion of the writing itself? I happen to be an editor, actually, and I wish I were editing content about video games rather than what I've actually been editing all day. Just on the surface I'd say your writing looks fine and you seem to know what you're doing (which, sadly, is noteworthy these days.) Back to the RE5 article, I'd definitely edit some things. For example: "Biohazard 5 to all of you Japanese fans of the series" Japanese fans aren't reading your article in English and 99 out of 100 casual readers don't care that this series has a different name in Japan anyway. That's just a small thing. Overall there are no major problems.

You'd have to decide who you're writing for. A 35-year-old dude who buys three games a year? An 18-year-old gamer who buys three games a month? One of them could care less about how RE5's control scheme compares to RE4's, and the other's played through Dead Space three times and cares very much about why Dead Space's control scheme is vastly better than RE5's.

One comment I'd make on your Maw review is that you should be more clear about exactly how the player controls (or doesn't control, actually) the Maw. (I found the controls a bit frustrating at points.) You mention a leash gun but you could be more clear about how this actually works. The review is fine, though. But again, I can read reviews of The Maw on 100 different sites. Only exclusive content is going to get people to your site.

If you're only running this site as a showpiece of your writing abilities, that's one thing. Then the site is just a front for your writing. But if you're actually trying to do this as a legitimate gaming site, then you've got a tough task ahead, regardless of how great a writer you may be.

Good luck!

tellahsage

Wow! Thanks alot for the comments, that actually means a lot to me that someone responded who's an editor.

As far as how I'm running the site, yes, I know unfortunately there's no way I could ever turn this into a legitimate gaming site that millions of people would go visit (sadly that would kill the site anyway). It is mostly a showcase of my writing abilities and if people happen to begin visiting on a regular basis just because they like my opinion on things then that will make me happy too.

I do agree that I should go into more depth but I could just never pinpoint how to without sounding like some pompous gamer who just throws out scientific terms like some sites seem to. I want the gamer who's just getting into the hobby as well as the 35-year-old who's been playing since Atari and knows the ins and outs of the scene to both enjoy it to some extent but just can't decide which one I wish to lean a little more to either with jargon or with keeping it how it is in a slightly more "newbie" (I hate that word) - friendly atmosphere and writing level.

Faffel

I would, if you can, specialize. I don't really read many reviews but for a period of time I hung out at "Chris' Survival Horror" because it was the best place I found for obscure survival horror game reviews.

I like your writing and I think it has potential.

tellahsage

The only problem is that this year specializing would be a bad thing because none of the genres have a ton of games coming out in them. Not specializing means that over the next coming months through the downtime I'll have plenty of new games to write on (SF IV, RE5, Star Ocean, Ghostbusters, etc..).

Thank you for the compliment, it's a bit reassuring to have complete strangers say they enjoy it over people who know me and don't want to hurt my feelings. I know I can rely on the internet to get flamed if I suck at something,lol.