guys girl help
YaYa
Decent.Registered User regular
Decent.Registered User regular
I'm super happy in my relationship right now but I don't know how to keep it up
what do you do when you get too content in a relationship
what do you do when you get too content in a relationship
YaYa on
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Maybe you should be more specific about what your problem here is. How long have you been in the relationship? Are you worried that your current emotion is the first flush of infatuation rather than something long-lasting? Have you historically had problems with maintaining relationships beyond the first few weeks or months?
Relationships do change over time. The honeymoon phase - that glorious period when you adore everything about the other person, and everything they say and do is perfect, and you can't get enough of their touch and their voice, and the sex is fantastic and both of you want it all the time, et cetera, et cetera - never lasts forever. Which is good, because most people couldn't stand the strain of everything being 110% awesome all the goddamned time. Passions cool, lust dies down a bit, you start noticing little things about the other person that bother you, maybe you have a couple of semi-serious arguments, the center no longer has quite the same amount of hold that it used to.
If you're looking to avoid that cool-down and stay in Super Extreme Happy Funzone for the entire duration of your relationship, though, you're wasting your time. It happens to everyone, to some degree or another. What separates the good relationships from the bad ones is the fact that good relationships, Bard be damned, alter when they alteration find. Maybe instead of frantic shower sex, you switch to slow, lazy, Sunday-morning-in-bed sex: not as frenzied-passionate, but still wonderful. Maybe instead of closing your eyes to everything the other person does that gets on your nerves a little bit, you talk to them about it in a mature and reasonable manner, and work out compromises.
Anyone can have a fantastic relationship for a few weeks. Keeping a relationship going for the long run, though, is something special, and it doesn't happen if you're constantly struggling and worrying and trying to always make things perfect. People aren't perfect. We're horrid messy complicated sacks of fluid, bone, and raw emotion, and we all have bad days. Don't stress out about maintaining constant super-happiness; enjoy what you have now, and deal with future changes when you come to them.
mix things up
go on a trip
Buy her a sexy costume
change up your relationship routine. if you go to dinner and a movie EVERY friday this gets old switch to something else
Take up an activity together that you both normally wouldn't do. (APA billiards leagues and bowling leagues are two great things to do as a couple)
You are not too content you are too bored. FIX IT!
I really got nothing.
Good communication = win.
Kate's advice is better.
Haven't you been with this girl for like... a few weeks?
Pretty sure you have a while yet before worrying about getting "too content"
Unless I'm mistaken...
ya.... trolling. You got it. Good call.
I should probably say something like:
Happy and content is good.
I'd like to think most relationships, or the perceived status within, is more or less an average of events so far; so if taken on the average, everything is going up. That's awesome. It won't stay there forever of course, much of elation is considered in terms of relative improvement from what it was - things getting better, say from being alone, is pretty easy to do. See also: Novelty. Sometimes finding out new things seems like the the best part.
At the end of the day, people like change. Good news is, if your relationship is going well, odds are good you're growing together. So keep things changing, but within the common goals. That is, the parts of the future you have in common with your partner. Put in some mutual effort. If you like houses, add on to the asset value. If you rent, redecorate. Do things together, but play and build to the strengths you have as a team. Let her shine, let yourself shine.
Investment in the future feels good. It keeps things from stagnating, precursor to same-old same-old, and through those changes and effort and energy, you pour yourself and each other into those little projects, forming a solid front and achieving something tangible you can both look at and think fondly about forever after. That's just good stuff.
The high intensity action may fade a bit; there is nothing so enthralling as intimate discovery, but the slow steady appreciation of each other is what will take you through those times when that impetus fades. Have no fear, those high-impact times are cyclical, they come time and time again. They show up, work their magic and fade- but if you want it, work for it, they always come back.
Be at one with both, work with both, appreciate both, and you'll be a man never wanting.
Just want to re-iterate, bolded parts doubly so. those two things cost me a pretty fucking good relationship.
guys, update
she told me she was so bored with us as a couple that she's started hooking up with random guys just to add excitement to her life
we had a long talk about it and she said she wouldn't do it again, but I'm wondering how I can add excitement to us again
a holiday, maybe?
I really need suggestions here