Sorry for the wall of text.
First, I think some backstory is relevant.
I've never had very much luck with girls (though being 17, never is not very long). I had one yearlong relationship when I was 15-16 which was relatively successful, though it ended in a very messy way, which I can admit was mostly my fault. However, we're friends now and get along fine. Since then I've been avoiding the whole "relationship thing" for several reasons, but the biggest of which is simply because I don't want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons, which is why my first and only relationship ended. Recently, however, I've been feeling much more confident that I'm ready to enter that wild world again. This brings us to the current situation.
I met the girl of interest several months ago at my Church's youth group for high school students. We didn't talk very much at first, since I'm a pretty shy person and wasn't yet feeling secure enough to talk to many girls, let alone pursue a relationship. Keep in mind that I've liked her most of this time. Fast forward to about a month ago, at our annual youth group beach retreat. We've started talking before this, but now we really start to hit it off. We're joking around with each other, talking a lot more, hot tubbing with the others, (sorry, no
), and flirting pretty heavily. Overall, just having a grand ol' time. Now, I've liked a few other girls before this, but before I ever got the guts to ask them out they were already in a different relationship. This time, I was determined for that not to happen.
After a few more weeks of talking together, I've determined that my interest is mutual. The day after Valentine's Day I decide to go ahead and ask her out (romantic, I know). This was far from a spur of the moment decision, as I'd been thinking about it for the past few weeks. Here I should explain why. At the time, I was under the impression that she was about 15 1/2 (this becomes important later). A little young I know, but she is very mature and intelligent for her age, so I thought it would probably work out fine. Anyway, after I asked her out she said that she definitely liked me a lot and would almost definitely say yes, but that she wanted to think about it first. OK, that's fine. I had thought about it for a while, and was frankly happy/impressed she was mature enough not to jump into anything. So she thinks about it for a week, during which she pretty much completely disengages from me (not answering any phone calls, 'how are you's', etc).
This brings us to last night, at which point I'm slightly annoyed that she really hasn't said anything to me at all over the past week. On Saturday she sends me a text saying that she didn't expect to take so long to think about it, and that we should probably just be friends. Of course I was a little disappointed, but I was also annoyed that she had been leading me on for the past week under the expectation that she would say yes. I asked her what her reasons were, but she didn't respond. I see her at the end of our youth group meeting on Sunday and we agree to talk later over Facebook. This is where I find out the most shocking piece of news (at least to me): she doesn't even turn 15 until July. At first she was under the impression that I knew this, but later found out that I didn't. She claimed she didn't tell me because it was 'awkward'. Her other reasons made more sense after this revelation: she's a flirt, likes other boys, doesn't want to date someone outside of her school, etc. I know I blew the situation out of proportion, but this was the first girl I had really
liked in a while, and it hurt. However, I tried my best not to get angry with her.
I think I handled it pretty well overall, but I know I must have sounded a little short with her. Now I don't know whether I should feel guilty or not..on the one hand, I should have made certain of her age before asking her out. On the other, I feel like I've been led on and lied to, or at least kept in the dark. So, my question to all of you forumers patient enough to go through yet another girl thread, is whether or not my feelings are justified? Should I apologize for being bitter? I'm just really confused. :|
Asked a girl out who I like a lot and think is at least 15 1/2. She leads me on for a week, and then reveals that she's actually 14
1/2, among other things. I feel hurt and get a little short with her. Am I in the wrong?
Edit: Something I forgot to mention which hurt a little as well was that she didn't seem to be affected by this at all, which was surprising to me. Also, I realize that I acted in some immature ways, and I have apologized to her for that already (which she accepted). This is also in my post below.