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[Miniphalla]G.I.Joe:The Movie vs. Transformers:The Movie; Game over, Joes win!

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Posts

  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Less than an hour to go, and about a third of you guys have yet to send in a private vote.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Night 2

    "Rook heah, Chuckles," whispered Jinx to her silent, Mel Gibson-esque fellow G.I. Joe Rawhide. "Dem Autobots got in rots of twouble now. Ha ha. Dey big stupid wobots." Chuckles nodded in agreement, his flowered Hawaiian shirt blending in with their current environment. The two Rawhides spied on the Autobots over the large, orange pile of trash, impressed with the devastation Galvatron has recently wreaked upon the so-called Autobot Leader, Ultra Magnus. "By General Cho, it's rike dey took my name ritterry, foah I am Jinx, and Beachhead named me dat because he tinks I so unrukky. I not unrukky, I have Bacheror's degwee in ninjaology... wit minor in Japanese studies."

    "Primus dammit," hollered Ultra Magnus. Galvatron had crushed his head and told him "No network for you", then commanded the Sweeps to draw and quarter his body. You know, Galvatron's Sweeps, part of the "armada" of similar dudes that transformed into flying space boats which Unicron gave to Cyclonus to lead, except they were all named "Scourge" and had unnecessary cyber-beards even though robots don't grow hair and shit, and really it was a pretty fucking stupid idea to begin with. I mean, who makes a kid buy three of the same fifteen dollar toy in order to have a show-accurate Decepticon armada and yet they don't really appear anywhere else and they never really explained what happened to the second Cyclonus and whether Scourge was Thundercracker or an Insecticon, or even one of those Insecticon clo-

    Squash! What the hell, man! Just get on with it!

    Sorry, Lil' Funk.


    Ultra glanced to his left. Just another Prime under all this armor, yet so helpless without all his armaments. "Oh man oh man oh man what're we gonna do!", jabbered Blurr. Suddenly the garbage heaps on this strange planet of junk separated and robots riding motorcycle robots whipped into view, shouting random crap from television.

    "Thundercats, hoooo!!!!!" cried Wreck-Gar, as the Junkions came to the rescue. A little wax and polish, and Ultra Magnus was good as new. "If only we had these Primus-damned Junkions back on Earth," thought Ultra, "they'd have put Optimus Prime back together in no time."

    "I still have a burr in my rotator cuff," growled Ultra at the nearest motorcycle-bot.

    "That's my line," grumbled Kup, the grizzled veteran.

    The Junkion poured a bit more wax on his shoulder, "Wax on, wax off!" The burr was gone with a wipe of the towel.

    "Thanks, Weird Al." Ultra pointed his missiles off in the distance, "Now for a test of the systems." He launched them off at an unsuspecting junk pile, not realizing he had sealed his own fate.

    Chuckles snatched the missile out of the air, all quiet and stoic-like, even though he was an espionage spy guy and his collectible file card from the back of the figure said he was jocular, cracking jokes and very talkative. Way to be figure-accurate, movie. I mean, seriousl...

    SQUASH!

    OK, ok.


    So, Chuckles grabbed that fucking missile out of the air and charged right up to Ultra Magnus and jammed it right up his robo-ass, no questions asked. Because when you've got Dolph Lundgren in a flowered shirt rushing you like a Green Bay Packer with a big Autobot missle, you've just got to take a moment to question your cyber-sanity. And that moment was all Chuckles needed to finish off the job Galvatron had started. (B:L)

    Chuckles walked back to Rawhide headquarters alone, large red splotches blending into his Hawaiian shirt. He had gotten so caught up in the mission that he had forgotten there were TWO missiles to catch and return, and Jinx didn't have a double-major in Missilecatchecism studies.

    And even though Ultra Magnus had died yet again that day, this time for good, everyone on planet Junkion celebrated. Even Wheelie and Daniel did a little breakdance to the tune of that awesome '80's rap tune, "Dare to be Stupid", with their metal shells having no problem on the rough junk floor, as it was lubricated by the bloody smear that used to be Jinx. (cj iwakura)

    Bah weep grah nah, weep nini bong, indeed.

    Back on Earth, or what was passing for it these days, Cliffjumper had cornered a Joe in a box canyon... or so he thought. "Get ready for pain! I'm gonna take you to the Slaughterhouse!" Sergeant Slaughter quickly darted behind the Autobot, and with a mighty suplex broke him in half. (Toxic Toys)

    Yeah right, not even Sergeant Slaughter could suplex a Transformer. Get real, Funky.

    Too bad, I say he can and you can suck it!


    Once again the combatants spoke, this time many voices in unison. The Autobot called Trailbreaker was destroyed in a blinding flash of light. (Ohtsam)

    Results:

    cj iwakura - Jinx (vanillajoe), killed by Ultra Magnus, more or less
    B:L - Ultra Magnus (vig), un-networked by the villains, then ass missiled, I guess?
    Toxic Toys - Cliffjumper (vanillauto), suplexed by Sergeant Slaughter
    Ohtsam - Trailbreaker (vanillauto), annihilated by IMAGINATION!

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Have fun getting wrecked by Galvatron, UM.

    Ooooo

    cj iwakura on
    vWGemDJ.png
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm.. . . alive!? Woo hoo! Slightly unexpected, but that's OK.

    So. . . hi. Didn't really expect to be here now. How's it going, everyone?

    14 people left. I'm guessing. . . . 3 more mafia? Plus 6 Joes, and 5 Transformers? I think that's accurate!

    kime on
    PA HotS Group
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Steam profile
  • kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    !jdarksun

    kuhlmeye on
    PSN: the-K-flash
  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kuhlmeye wrote: »
    !jdarksun

    Tell us more.

    Fiaryn on
    Soul Silver FC: 1935 3141 6240
    White FC: 0819 3350 1787
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kuhlmeye doesn't talk to lesser-model Transformers like yourself, Fiaryn. But he will answer to Megatron (!) for not asking me for permission to vote.

    kime on
    PA HotS Group
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Steam profile
  • kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Nothing was here!

    kuhlmeye on
    PSN: the-K-flash
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    jdarksun wrote: »
    kuhlmeye wrote: »
    Nothing was here!
    There was too!

    I didn't see it :(.

    kime on
    PA HotS Group
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Steam profile
  • Kay2Kay2 Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Such jocular racism and homophobia in the narration today!

    :winky:

    Kay2 on
  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    !Kuhlmeye has my suspicion for now.

    Fiaryn on
    Soul Silver FC: 1935 3141 6240
    White FC: 0819 3350 1787
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    "Ha-ha don't look at me!" is very suspicious. Kuhlmeye, do you want to tell the class what you've hidden behind you back?

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Damn, bad night for the autobots. Okay, I think I might have to accept now that it'll be better to look for the mafia than just picking on Joes.

    But I've got my eye on you Kime.

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
  • GrundlterrorGrundlterror Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    It really seems like a lot of players are just begging to be killed.

    Given the path we have been taking, maybe it's time to kill them.

    !kuhlmeye

    Grundlterror on
    steam_sig.png
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    !Fiaryn. I am guessing. It is liberating.

    Wildcat on
  • Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Kuhlmeye, that was a very poor attempt at covering up something obviously important. You have my vote until you reveal whatever it is you're hiding!

    Kristmas Kthulhu on
  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Kuhlmeye appears to be the horse to whip tonight. Shame on you for covering up something that I have no clue what everyone else is talking about something something.

    Die decepticobracon-person-bot-thing

    Sticks on
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited March 2009
    !Kuhlmeye, unless he spills the beans on what's up.

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
  • Kay2Kay2 Registered User
    edited March 2009
    That is a lot of beans to spill. Epic reveal, !kuhlmeye! Epic reveal!

    Kay2 on
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    !Kuhlmeye because it's very easy to vote for you!

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • GrundlterrorGrundlterror Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yay! Fun!

    Grundlterror on
    steam_sig.png
  • MacGuffinMacGuffin Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kuhlmeye. Bandwagon go.

    MacGuffin on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Thirteen minutes.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Night 3

    Duke had been following Rodimus Prime for almost two days. Tracking him was a simple matter; rigging his demise even simpler.

    When Rodimus left his garage that night, Duke broke in. He set up two claymore mines facing the door, and a tripwire to trigger them. Once the rigging was finished, he carefully closed the door and moved off to observe his target's elimination.

    Rodimus didn't return until almost morning. Duke briefly wondered what thoughts filled his target's head as the door to the garage rolled open. Surely they would be his target's last. (Witch Doctor, DBM)

    Wow, he's so amazing! Rodimus never even got a chance to kill anyone! Always bet on Duke!

    Not so fast, Lil' Funky...


    Satisfied with the night's work, Duke climbed in his jeep and drove back to the Joes' outpost. He climbed out of the car and shut the door, turned to go, but then paused for a moment. Wasn't that the sound of an engine behind him? Had he left the jeep running? He turned back around to check, and the last thing he saw was Optimus Prime's fist coming right for his skull.

    Duke's head flew across the compound, crashed through a window and rolled to a stop in the center of the table in the G.I. Joe command center, right in front of Lieutenant Falcon. Falcon sat in silence for a moment, staring at his brother's face, then he slowly walked to the window. In the distance, he saw the telltale red-and-blue cab driving away. "PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!" (jdarksun)

    While Lt. Falcon was thinking only of vengeance, Shipwreck had other things on his mind. He was in the kitchen, hunting for that most delicious of desserts. "Mmm, mmm, mmmmmmmmm I do so love cake. Especially chocolate, it's simply fabulous!"

    "Ssssssso it'sss cake you want, isssss it?" hissed a familiar voice. "Hear that, my Deceptifriends? Let'sssss give the man sssome cake!" Galvatron's cold steely hands seized Shipwreck's shoulders, while Serpentor administered the cake.

    A few minutes later Roadblock came in the kitchen in search of a sandwich. He found Shipwreck with delicious cake flowing out of every orifice. His mouth, his ears, his eyes, even his ass was overflowing with that delectable confection. (kime)

    Once again the power of IMAGINATION! bent to the will of the combatants and touched the battlefield. A beam of green light shot down from the heavens and blasted Perceptor into nothingness.(kuhlmeye)

    Results:

    Witch Doctor, DBM - Rodimus Prime (backup vig), claymored by Duke
    jdarksun - Duke (vig), Punched Out! by Prime
    kime - Shipwreck (vanillajoe), caked by the villains
    kuhlmeye - Perceptor (vanillauto), disintegrated by IMAGINATION!

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    By the way, Malkor is On Notice and will be replaced if he doesn't show some life today.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • GrundlterrorGrundlterror Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Vig and Backup Vig?? Fuck!

    !lawinator

    ... its a hunch. When things are going this way he's usually evil

    Grundlterror on
    steam_sig.png
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    OOOOoooooOOOO

    I wouldn't have my death any other way! :lol:

    OOOOooooOOOOO

    kime on
    PA HotS Group
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Steam profile
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Results are out.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • Kay2Kay2 Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Guys, stop killing each other and go back to Day 1 Effectiveness. There aren't many of us left now. :|

    Kay2 on
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yea, all we've managed to do so far is kill off our vig's

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Out of all the people I'd expect to vig off a vig it'd be Kime, but he's gone. Hmm...

    !Kay

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
  • MacGuffinMacGuffin Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'll go with TheLawinator, for beeing more suspicious then me.

    MacGuffin on
  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    !TheLawinator has my vote. I've suspected him for a while now and well...I hate second guessing my first instinct.

    Fiaryn on
    Soul Silver FC: 1935 3141 6240
    White FC: 0819 3350 1787
  • Kay2Kay2 Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Oh god I hate bandwagoning with no reasoning.

    !TheLawinator. (I'm so sorry Law.)

    Kay2 on
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I don't! (Yes I do.)

    !TheLawinator.

    Wildcat on
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    No! No! No reason! Stop it! I'm just a villager guy, I won't say which one because then the other faction will vote me harder.

    Cmon, this is crap.

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I refuse to bandwagon for no good reason. TheLawinator because <to be determined at a later date and possibly turned into an apology>.

    Sticks on
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited March 2009
    No! No! No reason! Stop it! I'm just a villager guy, I won't say which one because then the other faction will vote me harder.

    Cmon, this is crap.

    Anyone who targets you just because of your faction is going to have ALOT of strange looks, considering we're so screwed at the moment we can't afford to grudge the other faction. As long as you can give people reasonable doubt we can afford a bandwagon that's going to doom the village.

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm just a small town gi joe, living in a lonely world!

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited March 2009
    See, even as an outed Autobot, I'm not going to grudge you for being a joe.

    Seriously people, Kay is setting off alarm bells in my head. Something is, as some could say, up.

    Daius on
    bigbosssig.png
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