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Girl Games: No, I Wouldn't Like to Make You a Sandwich
MasterOfSporks
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Alright, I hate to be this person, but after a particularly awful game of Left4Dead, I really feel like a good rant. These forums seemed to be the place I would get the most knowledgeable(?) responses and comments.
I am aware that there exist jerks, a-holes, and generally unsavory people on the Internet and in online gaming circles. However, I am still taken aback by the frequency with which I run into guys in games such as L4D and other first person shooters who treat me as their verbal punching-bag because of my gender. (If you haven't already guessed, I'm a girl.) These people maybe wind up in the same game as I do 1 out of 20 times, but this number really ends up being too frequent. How hard is it to headshot zombies when some guy's asking you if you need to "change your tampon" or "sit on my lap to use your medkit"? Why should I and other female gamers be subject to calls for sandwich-making or dish-washing while crowning witches or what-have-you? Again, most male gamers I run across are true gentlemen that treat me with perfect respect and equality. If I suck at the game, they let me know, but at least it's not blamed on my gender. I do not mind a-holery, but I do mind cat-calls, references to how I could better spend my time shopping or cooking, and other absurd comments that have nothing to do with anything.
I'm so darn miffed at this. It is all I can do to not squeeze the trigger when those little green cross-hairs pop up. Well, proverbially speaking, since L4D doesn't have colored cross-hairs. Thanks for letting me vent some. Any comments or advice are welcome.
I am aware that there exist jerks, a-holes, and generally unsavory people on the Internet and in online gaming circles. However, I am still taken aback by the frequency with which I run into guys in games such as L4D and other first person shooters who treat me as their verbal punching-bag because of my gender. (If you haven't already guessed, I'm a girl.) These people maybe wind up in the same game as I do 1 out of 20 times, but this number really ends up being too frequent. How hard is it to headshot zombies when some guy's asking you if you need to "change your tampon" or "sit on my lap to use your medkit"? Why should I and other female gamers be subject to calls for sandwich-making or dish-washing while crowning witches or what-have-you? Again, most male gamers I run across are true gentlemen that treat me with perfect respect and equality. If I suck at the game, they let me know, but at least it's not blamed on my gender. I do not mind a-holery, but I do mind cat-calls, references to how I could better spend my time shopping or cooking, and other absurd comments that have nothing to do with anything.
I'm so darn miffed at this. It is all I can do to not squeeze the trigger when those little green cross-hairs pop up. Well, proverbially speaking, since L4D doesn't have colored cross-hairs. Thanks for letting me vent some. Any comments or advice are welcome.
MasterOfSporks on
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In all honestly, we all have to deal with it. You think I like listening to these kids as much as you do? Whenever I play online games, I hardly ever listen to the other people, I have a group of people to play with, and most of the rest of the time, everyone else is muted.
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
At least I hope it is. There are some for whom it may not be quite so jokey.
NNID: Hakkekage
Honestly I'm totally objectifying you now.
You are just a uniboob to me.
I have a lot of girl customers at my store, but they do the same thing the males do. Complain theres nothing interesting so I show them everything new and interesting or things people don't try...then they turn around and rent Call of Duty. :x
If it's any consolation, and it suits you, I recommend taking the "I'm better than they are" approach. Just think of it like...there's no way those assholes have very many friends, and there's sure as hell no way they get laid often, if ever. Think of them as sad, pathetic little bastards living in their parents' basements. Odds are, you won't be far off.
Edit: That said, would you like to make me a sandw--nevermind.
Advice so nice he posted it twice.
I dunno, I've seen some honestly normal people turn into straight assholes when online.
It's pretty shocking to see someone you thought was pretty awesome come out and become nutsacks.
Yes, I know he is a douchebag.
double standard but what can ya do.
NNID: Hakkekage
It's just that when you know you're talking to a girl, misogny becomes an awesome way to get under their skin.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Question: do they direct such comments to male players as well?
Misogyny (and homophobia) are very common online. This I do not deny. On the other hand, I tell my male friends to stop sucking cock, or ask them to sit in my lap, etc. etc. etc. Spend a day in D&D [chat] and you'll see guys sexually harassing guys, guys harassing girls, girls harassing guys, girls harassing girls, and if the New Zealanders are online, guys harassing sheep.
I recognize that we might not be the lowest common denominator of gamers here. As I said, misogyny is common online. But in any single example, how do you tell the difference between guys who talk shit to the girls because they genuinely look down on the girls, versus guys who talk shit to everybody?
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
That doesn't make it a good idea. "I wanted a competitive advantage" would not justify calling a black person a racial slur to his face while gaming at a party, why the hell should it justify demeaning a woman over the internet? Just because it's anonymous? Fucking weak. If you can't beat her without screaming "VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA" then you didn't really beat her, did you?
I use tasteless humor with many of my female friends, but I make absolutely Goddamn sure that we are friends before I even consider it. And in many cases, I still keep the blue jokes to myself, unless I'm positive they won't take offense.
Don't be a jackass. Respect people's individual boundaries.
It's possible they're only using your gender to tailor their very typical and all-reaching douche-baggery to fit your needs, and they're not very misogynistic at all.
However, I think I'm rather jaded, and I very much doubt that's probably almost ever the case.
I'm not saying demeaning others is okay, I'm just saying that it isn't the exclusive result of being female.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
:O
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
They're being an asshole with the purpose of trying to get you to screw up. Yes, they're still an asshole, but that's why they're doing it. Unless you're going to effect a sea change among all gamers (and yes, females will also be "sexy" in games to distract males), use the mute button or realize that they're idiots and tell them to suck your dick.
From personal experience, the kind of harassment I observe online in FPS games (MMOers go out of their way to be nice to chicks) is far removed from the kind of joking harassment that happens on these forums. Usually it's distasteful in a way that isn't comical, it's just distasteful and assholish. Also, it is generally extremely misogynistic or racist, usually because there is a level of testosterone-packed teenage social awkward juvenile humorist that thinks that anything that is the least bit subversive, even if it is subversive because it's just incredibly stupid or ignorant, is the funniest thing ever. This is why, I believe, there has been a resurgence of the n word and sexism in such circles.
I suppose, it's different, because in such a community as this it is seen more as a "hand-shake", like a "lol, I told you to make me a sandwich but it's funny because we don't actually treat each other that way and are equivalent in this relationship". In online games it is more seen as an actual declaration of dominance, as in "lol, I told you to make me a sandwich the way an abusive husband might because I am dominant to you the way an abusive husband is dominant".
EDIT:
I should clarify, the distinction between MMO and FPS should be considered the difference between cooperative games and competitive games. You see the same sort of assholism appear around pvp scenes in MMOs too. Really, any place where there is a notion of dominance, there will also come with it complete dick-being.
Nobody ever says anything useful anyway. It's all 'durr durr cocks ni**a fuk u homo lol'. I've never experienced firsthand the rampant misogyny, but I also never use a mic and my handles/nicknames are always gender neutral or masculine sounding.
Do... Re... Mi... So... Fa.... Do... Re.... Do...
Forget it...
See, what you need to do is play with the PA people. If we yell at you, it won't be for being a girl. Oh, there's plenty of trash talking, but it's all in good fun and people (mostly) know when to stop.
Srsly.
PA servers are full of good people having good times, and they do in fact use the voice functions to coordinate as well as banter, and the banter is great.
Wait you're a chick Reznik
Huh
Anyways
Yeah, that's just how online games work
I've been called a fag and a bad perjorative for black person so many times now I've lost count
Honestly I just don't care any more; who gives a shit? They don't know me
Fuck the haters
See? It works
Do... Re... Mi... So... Fa.... Do... Re.... Do...
Forget it...
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I think it's more the fact that I get lost in Zaka's eyes every time I see your avvie
so dreamy
Er...I'm totally straight I swear
His wet, delicious dreams.
We often boot people that turn off the headset. When you were in RSV2 CQB you needed everyone working together.
Covering my back in an FPS, raiding in WoW, doing any of the work of any man out there just as well, sure.
But sandwich making? That shit is personal!
That pisses me off.
I host a podcast about movies.
These people are literally everywhere. The only solution is to be a bit more discerning about whom you play with. If you don't already, I'd suggest hanging out in G&T a bit more and striking up games with the people in the respective threads for whatever game you want to play. We tend to be a little less dickish than the rest of the internet on the forums, and that seems to translate to games as well.
I think this theory is wrong. The people that are jackasses on the internet are also jackasses in real life. Anonimity doesn't just magically turn "upstanding citizen" into "total dickwad"
but they're listening to every word I say
Have you heard of 4chan?
True but I think the annonymity and lack of real life repercussions provides a pretty inviting mouthpiece for douchebags who normally are less vocal about their assholery. But this is version of the theory is less catchy for a 3 panel comic.