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Please tell me what to do about her....
Space Cowboy
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
OK, I don't know why I'm posting this because it's just the she-doesn't-love-me thing all over again, but it helped to write something down. Be warned, it's long and probably useless, but if anyone reads this I'll at least be happier than I am now.
So, I'm sad at a time when I really should be very happy, all because of a girl who isn't mine. I don't expect there is any solution to this very normal problem but I guess somebody here has experience with a similar situation. Any help now would be great.
I'm in love with a girl, simply because she's an absolutely fantastic person. Pretty, but that has little do with why I can't think about anything but her.
The story is that we've been working together for a year. What we've been working on is now over, and it went really well, as does everything else, which is why I said I should be happy right now.
She made me fall in love with her by being the greatest girl I've ever met, and for the first 6-7 months I knew her she seemed to really express interest in me. We became good friends and I really hoped something would happen. I had a girlfriend at the time, and she had and still has a boyfriend. I broke up with my girlfriend this fall, when I realized I was not in love with her at all, but actually more in love with someone else than I had ever been with my girlfriend.
But from then on, my friendship with this girl, which had gotten better all the time, stopped developing. She gradually stopped showing the interest she definitely had been showing. Now it seems like I'm in no way more important to her than any other guy. I don't know what the hell happened. We used to have so much fun at parties, we'd end up going some ridiculous place, doing ridiculous stuff or just talking about anything at all, and I've never ever enjoyed myself more than when in her company.
So, she doesn't seem to care at all. I suspect I'm not be the only one who in secret has these feelings about her, but six months ago she was acting like I was special to her. I've lost a friend I really cared about, and it's so sad to think about what things would have been like if she felt the same way about me.
I'm feeling even more sad and depressed because this rarely happens to me. I'm attracted to some girls more than others, but having real and deep feelings about a girl because of her personality is not something I expect will happen again anytime soon. I've spent a year thinking about her every single day, hoping for the best. Now I'm realizing it will never happen.
Of course, if anyone here knows how to make a girl fall in love, let me know. These days I find it hard to be positive and fun around her becuase I'm even more sad when I see her. I wonder what she'd say if I told her everything. I would probably never actually pull it off, but maybe I should just tell her, since we're no longer working together and I'm not going to see her anymore after this summer.
So, I'm sad at a time when I really should be very happy, all because of a girl who isn't mine. I don't expect there is any solution to this very normal problem but I guess somebody here has experience with a similar situation. Any help now would be great.
I'm in love with a girl, simply because she's an absolutely fantastic person. Pretty, but that has little do with why I can't think about anything but her.
The story is that we've been working together for a year. What we've been working on is now over, and it went really well, as does everything else, which is why I said I should be happy right now.
She made me fall in love with her by being the greatest girl I've ever met, and for the first 6-7 months I knew her she seemed to really express interest in me. We became good friends and I really hoped something would happen. I had a girlfriend at the time, and she had and still has a boyfriend. I broke up with my girlfriend this fall, when I realized I was not in love with her at all, but actually more in love with someone else than I had ever been with my girlfriend.
But from then on, my friendship with this girl, which had gotten better all the time, stopped developing. She gradually stopped showing the interest she definitely had been showing. Now it seems like I'm in no way more important to her than any other guy. I don't know what the hell happened. We used to have so much fun at parties, we'd end up going some ridiculous place, doing ridiculous stuff or just talking about anything at all, and I've never ever enjoyed myself more than when in her company.
So, she doesn't seem to care at all. I suspect I'm not be the only one who in secret has these feelings about her, but six months ago she was acting like I was special to her. I've lost a friend I really cared about, and it's so sad to think about what things would have been like if she felt the same way about me.
I'm feeling even more sad and depressed because this rarely happens to me. I'm attracted to some girls more than others, but having real and deep feelings about a girl because of her personality is not something I expect will happen again anytime soon. I've spent a year thinking about her every single day, hoping for the best. Now I'm realizing it will never happen.
Of course, if anyone here knows how to make a girl fall in love, let me know. These days I find it hard to be positive and fun around her becuase I'm even more sad when I see her. I wonder what she'd say if I told her everything. I would probably never actually pull it off, but maybe I should just tell her, since we're no longer working together and I'm not going to see her anymore after this summer.
Space Cowboy on
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If you told her everything, she'd likely completely withdraw. But hey, it's not like you have a whole lot to lose now. Ask her out... if she says no, you'll still be pretty much where you are now, but with an answer.
Yeah, you need to forget about her and move on.
Oh, yeah. I thought he had meant his work with her was ending for some reason. He said their work was ending... but yeah, if you are gonna keep working with her in any capacity, move right the hell on. I do say move on anyway, but if you have this weird idea about getting some kind of fantastical closure... spilling your guts is not the way to do it.
It really sounds like you're putting this girl in a pedestal to me.
Haha, OK, I won't 'spill my guts' - it doesn't sound very tempting when you put it like that.
And we're no longer working together, but I'll still be running into her at school. I should have mentioned that.
Thanks though. This all feels like the biggest opportunity of my life, and I lost it. Maybe it never was an opportunity - then it'll probably be easier to handle, but I'm not going to find out anyway.
I'm betting as soon as you ditched your girlfriend she realized things that she thought of as having a good working relationship and maybe having a little harmless fun at work had meant something entirely different for you.
Just start dating other people and forget about her.
Yeah I am, but it's not that far off.
And I'm a pretty calm guy and not very good at showing any feelings, so I doubt anyone would call me obsessed except myself.
How old are you?
I'm 22.
I was very good friends with a girl, we spent time together everyday whether it was studying / going out / hanging out. She had gotten out of a 3 year relationship with someone else. I eventually told her how I felt, and she said she did not want a relationship at this time. I waited another six months, with everything the same, and told her that I wanted to be more then friends, and it was hard for me to continue to see her everyday the way it was and asked her if she only really wanted to be friends. She said she didn't know, but she wasn't ready to get into another relationship yet.
Since then, I told her I needed some time away, to myself. Hasn't been easy going on 3 months, still do think about her all the time. Every here says it gets easier, so I'm with you but I am sure they are right. Hang in there.