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[Mini-Phalla] The Phalem Witch Trials - The End - Witches Win
Dusdais ashamed of this postSLC, UTRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
Hmm...who to bandwagon. My sixth sense is saying that !JaysonFour is a perfectly awesome day one vote. Normally it'd be Kime but he and I just got murdered out of the KoF phalla.
I was praying to the good Lord this morning. I asked him to grant me the wisdom to root out the evil in our midst. There are witches most certainly here, and I fear for our very souls if we do not rise up and strike them down!
I am sure you all heard the rumors running around. Several respectable people have told me that simonwolf has been cavorting with demons in the darkest of night. This behavior cannot be tolerated! It is an affront to the Lord, and all the good and righteous people of the world! We shall not suffer this witch to live another day!
If ever there was a phalla where it would be appropriate to bandwagon people on blatant rumor mongering and lies, it would be this one. I do love me a good angry mob.
simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
A funny coincidence, Sticks, for I as well prayed to the good Lord this very morning. I asked him for a vision to show us the light, a means of divining the evil from among us. And, lo, the Lord smiled upon me! With a great flash of light, I saw the Holy Virgin before me, and she showed me a sight that was sickening to behold.
Animal sacrifice, foul brews, lewd cavorting around toadstools, people sitting on scales and comparing their weight with ducks - all these things, which every good person knows is associated with witchcraft, I saw. And who was performing these foul acts? None other than those who have accused me, I say! Sticks and SpectralSpork!
They seem quite eager to push blame onto me, to start a riotous bandwagon, when the only people we should be casting out is them! Also maybe kime, I think his soul might have been tainted in other worlds.
Burn the witches, I say! Burn to ash and bone!
Trying to out-blatently-lie me, eh? I'll show you what for!
A funny coincidence, Sticks, for I as well prayed to the good Lord this very morning. I asked him for a vision to show us the light, a means of divining the evil from among us. And, lo, the Lord smiled upon me! With a great flash of light, I saw the Holy Virgin before me, and she showed me a sight that was sickening to behold.
Animal sacrifice, foul brews, lewd cavorting around toadstools, people sitting on scales and comparing their weight with ducks - all these things, which every good person knows is associated with witchcraft, I saw. And who was performing these foul acts? None other than those who have accused me, I say! Sticks and SpectralSpork!
They seem quite eager to push blame onto me, to start a riotous bandwagon, when the only people we should be casting out is them! Also maybe kime, I think his soul might have been tainted in other worlds.
Burn the witches, I say! Burn to ash and bone!
Trying to out-blatently-lie me, eh? I'll show you what for!
You dare spout these blasphemies in the face of a man of God? Who is this "Holy Virgin" you speak of? I know not of it from the holy word of Wang. Does the good book not tell us:
"Do not in despair dwell, you of the virgin shroud. Instead be devout in thy beliefs, and strong in thy convictions. In time, you will be penetrated with the fullness of my grace and light." -Phallicus 3:14
Clearly a man who does not pay attention to his scriptures, would do well not to go bandying accusations against those who do His good work. But I would expect no less from a witch!
A funny coincidence, Sticks, for I as well prayed to the good Lord this very morning. I asked him for a vision to show us the light, a means of divining the evil from among us. And, lo, the Lord smiled upon me! With a great flash of light, I saw the Holy Virgin before me, and she showed me a sight that was sickening to behold.
Animal sacrifice, foul brews, lewd cavorting around toadstools, people sitting on scales and comparing their weight with ducks - all these things, which every good person knows is associated with witchcraft, I saw. And who was performing these foul acts? None other than those who have accused me, I say! Sticks and SpectralSpork!
They seem quite eager to push blame onto me, to start a riotous bandwagon, when the only people we should be casting out is them! Also maybe kime, I think his soul might have been tainted in other worlds.
Burn the witches, I say! Burn to ash and bone!
Trying to out-blatently-lie me, eh? I'll show you what for!
You dare spout these blasphemies in the face of a man of God? Who is this "Holy Virgin" you speak of? I know not of it from the holy word of Wang. Does the good book not tell us:
"Do not in despair dwell, you of the virgin shroud. Instead be devout in thy beliefs, and strong in thy convictions. In time, you will be penetrated with the fullness of my grace and light." -Phallicus 3:14
Clearly a man who does not pay attention to his scriptures, would do well not to go bandying accusations against those who do His good work. But I would expect no less from a witch!
Oh, you may know scripture, but surely a witch can read the good book as well as anyone else.
Do not listen to this man, my fellows, as he contorts the word of the good book! Any god-fearing person of the faith knows that the Holy Virgin was the first woman to feel the divine touch of His phallus. She was not a virgin for long after they met, as we learn in Phallodus 18:5 - "And He saw the Virgin, who was totally banging hot, and he lay with her beside the fire. And lo, she shall be the Holiest of Virgins, a treasure for those faithful to His Wang."
A man who ignores vital sections of the scripture, then contorts other parts to accuse the faithful of heresy? Only the most foul of witches would be disgraceful enough trick the people of our fair village.
The true enemy here is not !SpectralSpork - it is the witch before us, !Sticks!
A funny coincidence, Sticks, for I as well prayed to the good Lord this very morning. I asked him for a vision to show us the light, a means of divining the evil from among us. And, lo, the Lord smiled upon me! With a great flash of light, I saw the Holy Virgin before me, and she showed me a sight that was sickening to behold.
Animal sacrifice, foul brews, lewd cavorting around toadstools, people sitting on scales and comparing their weight with ducks - all these things, which every good person knows is associated with witchcraft, I saw. And who was performing these foul acts? None other than those who have accused me, I say! Sticks and SpectralSpork!
They seem quite eager to push blame onto me, to start a riotous bandwagon, when the only people we should be casting out is them! Also maybe kime, I think his soul might have been tainted in other worlds.
Burn the witches, I say! Burn to ash and bone!
Trying to out-blatently-lie me, eh? I'll show you what for!
You dare spout these blasphemies in the face of a man of God? Who is this "Holy Virgin" you speak of? I know not of it from the holy word of Wang. Does the good book not tell us:
"Do not in despair dwell, you of the virgin shroud. Instead be devout in thy beliefs, and strong in thy convictions. In time, you will be penetrated with the fullness of my grace and light." -Phallicus 3:14
Clearly a man who does not pay attention to his scriptures, would do well not to go bandying accusations against those who do His good work. But I would expect no less from a witch!
Oh, you may know scripture, but surely a witch can read the good book as well as anyone else.
Do not listen to this man, my fellows, as he contorts the word of the good book! Any god-fearing person of the faith knows that the Holy Virgin was the first woman to feel the divine touch of His phallus. She was not a virgin for long after they met, as we learn in Phallodus 18:5 - "And He saw the Virgin, who was totally banging hot, and he lay with her beside the fire. And lo, she shall be the Holiest of Virgins, a treasure for those faithful to His Wang."
A man who ignores vital sections of the scripture, then contorts other parts to accuse the faithful of heresy? Only the most foul of witches would be disgraceful enough trick the people of our fair village.
The true enemy here is not !SpectralSpork - it is the witch before us, !Sticks!
These translations of the good book are not known to me. What are you reading from? The King Wangus version has not these sayings, though I do roughly recognize the passage that you have supposedly quoted.
It wouldn't suprise me in the least if this was some witch's version that perverts the word in order to lead good Phallicians away from the true path to salvation. "Holiest of Virgins" indeed, hmphh!
Element BrianPeanut Butter ShillRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
Whats up guys, I have to go to work and I'm too lazy to check wha time the vote closes. This day 1 looks intense, but then again, its day one, last person voted for was sticks, ill go with that
The vote doesn't close for a little under nine hours still. So plenty of time.
And I'm going to have to vote for simonwolf. Seeing as we're both tied in first, gotta save myself!
Also, if anyone happens to weigh me, I am extremely light-weight. I weigh as much as a medium--sized bird. . . like, say.. . a duck? But it's definitely not because I'm made of wood. Nope. Not me!
It seems that Delroland has been licking too many toads, causing his tongue to become paralysed! I heard that's a good way to tell who's a witch, that is.
But but but Mr D, surely you understand that newcomers to the village are SUSPICIOUS and must be thrown in the mill pond to see if they float and are witchy, or drown and are innocent?
...Unless you're not the Mr D we all know and love, and have in fact been replaced with a DAEMON WITCH in Mr D's form!?!
Fair enough, I will restrain my displeasure with simonwolf's heresies for the moment. kime, on the other hand, holds cake to be higher than the great Wang. He probably bakes in all sorts of unseemly and bewitched ingredients too.
pfft, I bake with chocolate! Anyone who thinks that is bewitched is a horrible, horrible person! And ha! You won't be able to put me in my over, I'll cast an evil spell to shrink it! Then I won't fit!
simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
Jeeze, people. I come here, trying to spread the word of God, and you try to burn me at a stake? This is worse than my last mission in Africa. At least they had the good sense to fatten me up before the murderin'.
No, I think my denominational issues with !Sticks will have to wait for another day - the idolator !kime is the true enemy of the village, this day.
simonwolf on
0
KeikaDelectable tea, or deadly poison?Registered Userregular
edited March 2009
Mmmmmm chocolate.
If we really want to know if kime is a witch, we need to feed his cake to a dog and see how it reacts. If it gets sick, then kime is a witch.... of course, the cake must be made with the urine of the victims.
.
.
.
Any takers?
Keika on
"My fancies are fireflies / Specks of living light / twinkling in the dark." ~Rabindranath Tagore
Question: can I eat my own cake? Didn't really want to share. . .
Phallivius 26:16 - "Thou shalt not bogart thine goods from your fellows in the faith, just as He does not bogart His Divine Wang from the faithful."
Breaking one of the fifteen commandments, kime? Outrageous!
simonwolf on
0
KeikaDelectable tea, or deadly poison?Registered Userregular
edited March 2009
You don't want to share cake? Isn't there a law against that somewhere in the great Book of Wang? I was even willing to bring my own homemade chocolate fudge icing.
*Sigh*
But if you must. Fine.
edit: Well, that answers that.
Keika on
"My fancies are fireflies / Specks of living light / twinkling in the dark." ~Rabindranath Tagore
You don't want to share cake? Isn't there a law against that somewhere in the great Book of Wang? I was even willing to bring my own homemade chocolate fudge icing.
OOooooo, we can split it if you bring that!
Also, I would just like to note that despite my witch-like appearance (I was born with that nose!) and the fact that everyone who has ever bugged me in my entire life seems to get into mysterious "accidents" (strange coincidences, no?), I am, in fact, never evil.
You don't want to share cake? Isn't there a law against that somewhere in the great Book of Wang? I was even willing to bring my own homemade chocolate fudge icing.
OOooooo, we can split it if you bring that!
Also, I would just like to note that despite my witch-like appearance (I was born with that nose!) and the fact that everyone who has ever bugged me in my entire life seems to get into mysterious "accidents" (strange coincidences, no?), I am, in fact, never evil.
Probably.
In light of the offer of cake, I have been swayed to change my vote.
Sorry, simonwolf, but it's cake. How can I turn that down?
Keika on
"My fancies are fireflies / Specks of living light / twinkling in the dark." ~Rabindranath Tagore
Posts
I am sure you all heard the rumors running around. Several respectable people have told me that simonwolf has been cavorting with demons in the darkest of night. This behavior cannot be tolerated! It is an affront to the Lord, and all the good and righteous people of the world! We shall not suffer this witch to live another day!
Animal sacrifice, foul brews, lewd cavorting around toadstools, people sitting on scales and comparing their weight with ducks - all these things, which every good person knows is associated with witchcraft, I saw. And who was performing these foul acts? None other than those who have accused me, I say! Sticks and SpectralSpork!
They seem quite eager to push blame onto me, to start a riotous bandwagon, when the only people we should be casting out is them! Also maybe kime, I think his soul might have been tainted in other worlds.
Burn the witches, I say! Burn to ash and bone!
You dare spout these blasphemies in the face of a man of God? Who is this "Holy Virgin" you speak of? I know not of it from the holy word of Wang. Does the good book not tell us:
"Do not in despair dwell, you of the virgin shroud. Instead be devout in thy beliefs, and strong in thy convictions. In time, you will be penetrated with the fullness of my grace and light." -Phallicus 3:14
Clearly a man who does not pay attention to his scriptures, would do well not to go bandying accusations against those who do His good work. But I would expect no less from a witch!
Oh, you may know scripture, but surely a witch can read the good book as well as anyone else.
Do not listen to this man, my fellows, as he contorts the word of the good book! Any god-fearing person of the faith knows that the Holy Virgin was the first woman to feel the divine touch of His phallus. She was not a virgin for long after they met, as we learn in Phallodus 18:5 - "And He saw the Virgin, who was totally banging hot, and he lay with her beside the fire. And lo, she shall be the Holiest of Virgins, a treasure for those faithful to His Wang."
A man who ignores vital sections of the scripture, then contorts other parts to accuse the faithful of heresy? Only the most foul of witches would be disgraceful enough trick the people of our fair village.
The true enemy here is not !SpectralSpork - it is the witch before us, !Sticks!
These translations of the good book are not known to me. What are you reading from? The King Wangus version has not these sayings, though I do roughly recognize the passage that you have supposedly quoted.
It wouldn't suprise me in the least if this was some witch's version that perverts the word in order to lead good Phallicians away from the true path to salvation. "Holiest of Virgins" indeed, hmphh!
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
And I'm going to have to vote for simonwolf. Seeing as we're both tied in first, gotta save myself!
Also, if anyone happens to weigh me, I am extremely light-weight. I weigh as much as a medium--sized bird. . . like, say.. . a duck? But it's definitely not because I'm made of wood. Nope. Not me!
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Sounds like witchcraft Dusda! :P
A RNG sounds like something a witch would use.
Keika
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
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3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
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raaaaaaaaaaaar
!cj iwakura
kime - 3
JaysonFour, lonelyahava, SpectralSpork, Sticks, Toxic Toys - 2
cj iwakura, Dusda, JaysonTodd, Keika, Tommy2Hands - 1
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!kime
Steam
...Unless you're not the Mr D we all know and love, and have in fact been replaced with a DAEMON WITCH in Mr D's form!?!
Burn him in his own oven!
What then!?
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No, I think my denominational issues with !Sticks will have to wait for another day - the idolator !kime is the true enemy of the village, this day.
If we really want to know if kime is a witch, we need to feed his cake to a dog and see how it reacts. If it gets sick, then kime is a witch.... of course, the cake must be made with the urine of the victims.
.
.
.
Any takers?
Question: can I eat my own cake? Didn't really want to share. . .
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Phallivius 26:16 - "Thou shalt not bogart thine goods from your fellows in the faith, just as He does not bogart His Divine Wang from the faithful."
Breaking one of the fifteen commandments, kime? Outrageous!
*Sigh*
But if you must. Fine.
edit: Well, that answers that.
OOooooo, we can split it if you bring that!
Also, I would just like to note that despite my witch-like appearance (I was born with that nose!) and the fact that everyone who has ever bugged me in my entire life seems to get into mysterious "accidents" (strange coincidences, no?), I am, in fact, never evil.
Probably.
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(That looks wrong, but whatever.)
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I'll have to kill them.
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In light of the offer of cake, I have been swayed to change my vote.
Sorry, simonwolf, but it's cake. How can I turn that down?
But I'm curious, what happens in the case of a tie?
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