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[Mini-Phalla] The Phalem Witch Trials - The End - Witches Win

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Posts

  • OhtsamOhtsam Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Day 1
    The Death of the Entire Clergy of the Wang

    The entire town of Phalem had gathered at the courthouse for the days festivities. There was popcorn, children playing and all sorts of wonderful activities going on. At exactly 7:06 P.M. everyone entered the courthouse except for two people. Cj Iwakura had recently come to this town hoping to corner the hired assassinations market and decided to check his dead drop to see which contract he would pursue. Unfortunatly the other person not yet at the trial followed him to his inconspicuous bush and realized who he was. “Well we can’t afford to have you mucking things up” and with that Cj Iwakura was now a newt.

    Everyone was shocked at the first person to be brought up on charges. Sticks the local pastor.
    “Sticks you are being brought up on charges of witchcraft and wizardry. How do you plead?”
    “Not guilty” Sticks replied.
    “Pff an unlikely story, execu.. I mean prosecution you may begin.”
    “Now sticks where were you on the night of February 31st?”
    “What the hell are you talking about there is no 31st of February”
    “That because you witches used your sorcery to remove that date from existence so we couldn’t use it as evidence, your honor I rest my case”
    “Sticks any remarks?”
    “This trial is a sham and you will all burn in the coming of the almighty wang”
    “The defense may now present their first witness”
    “Will the Priest Keika please come forward?”
    “Now then Keika how long have you been practicing witchcraft with sticks.”
    “Witchcraft? I’m a holy priest of the almighty wang I abhor witchcraft as does sticks who had been my protégé and apprentice for years taking over my sermons a year ago.”
    “Ha… we know you’re lying why I’d expect you’re so scared for your life at this point you’d turn yourself into a small lizard to escape”
    Keika then proceeded to turn into a newt .
    The judge after staring hungrily at the small newt for several minutes remembered he would be able to eat once this was over so he immediately turned it over to the jury.
    3 seconds later the verdict was semi-unanimous Sticks would be burned at the stake for being a witch.
    As people were leaving the courthouse many were discussing various gossip from the day the most prevalent being that kime guarded one hell of a delicious cake.

    The next day in the town newspaper the following headline appeared - "Sticks the most asinine and retarded pastor/witch ever gets his due"

    Results
    Keika – Priest – Newted
    Cj Iwakura – Mercenary – Newted
    Sticks – WITCH – Burned for being a witch

    With no more mercenary your money is useless so don't send me bids

    Ohtsam on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yeah, you better agree my cake was delicious! That was a funny narration, I like the evidence brought against Sticks :P.

    Stupid witches. You kill one of the best parts of this Phalla :( (the merc, not Keika. Although I'll miss you too Keika!).

    Oh, and let it be known that I picked Sticks! I actaully helped the village! Everyone remember this day!

    kime on
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  • Ultros64Ultros64 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well there goes that mechanic.

    Ultros64 on
    It doesn't matter what I say, as long as I sing with inflection
  • SpectralSporkSpectralSpork Registered User
    edited March 2009
    We'll see how long that lasts kime.

    SpectralSpork on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    That was a mixed bag. Hooray for a dead witch! Boooo for losing what looks like a good special and the unique mechanic.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    That was a mixed bag. Hooray for a dead witch! Boooo for losing what looks like a good special and the unique mechanic.
    The dead witch I helped kill!

    We cannot emphasize this enough!

    kime on
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  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Thanatos, if you're reading, make a stickied thread linking to the last two pages with the title: "kime Did Something Right!

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • SpectralSporkSpectralSpork Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Remember karma kime, remember it!

    SpectralSpork on
  • Ultros64Ultros64 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    That was a mixed bag. Hooray for a dead witch! Boooo for losing what looks like a good special and the unique mechanic.
    The dead witch I helped kill!

    We cannot emphasize this enough!

    Hey Kime.

    Can I have some of your magic secret hidden cake?

    Ultros64 on
    It doesn't matter what I say, as long as I sing with inflection
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Ultros64 wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    That was a mixed bag. Hooray for a dead witch! Boooo for losing what looks like a good special and the unique mechanic.
    The dead witch I helped kill!

    We cannot emphasize this enough!

    Hey Kime.

    Can I have some of your magic secret hidden cake?

    You should be giving me cake! Or else I will point my incredibly accurate finger at you! And the village will rush at my awesome call!

    I think it deserves more than a sticky. I'm thinking a plaque? On every single penny-arcade-affiliated page?

    kime on
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  • Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I made a good vote on my first day by not even looking at the thread and just following the person who voted before me! YAY!

    Element Brian on
    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

    Arch,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well, that went well.

    Not. :| Ooo

    cj iwakura on
    9LlOwgn.png
    Well, good morning. Welcome to the new scenario. What should we do today?
  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Do not mourn my passing, for I go now to embrace the mighty Wang, and one day so shall yooOOOooooo

    Sticks on
  • simonwolfsimonwolf so enough of this terror we deserve to know lightRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    That was a mixed bag. Hooray for a dead witch! Boooo for losing what looks like a good special and the unique mechanic.
    The dead witch I helped kill!

    We cannot emphasize this enough!

    The united churches of Latter-Day Cake and Roman Phallius won this day, friend. Truly, it was the Lord who helped win this day for us.

    But we cannot rest - there are still two witches amongst us! We should check to see who was voting along with Sticks, for they are already guilty of the crime of witch-assisting.

    simonwolf on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    simonwolf wrote: »
    But we cannot rest - there are still two witches amongst us! We should check to see who was voting along with Sticks, for they are already guilty of the crime of witch-assisting.

    . . .

    . . .

    Two? How, again, do you know this?

    kime on
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  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    simonwolf wrote: »
    But we cannot rest - there are still two witches amongst us! We should check to see who was voting along with Sticks, for they are already guilty of the crime of witch-assisting.

    . . .

    . . .

    Two? How, again, do you know this?

    This is an excellent question.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • SpectralSporkSpectralSpork Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Suspicious!

    SpectralSpork on
  • Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    simonwolf wrote: »
    But we cannot rest - there are still two witches amongst us! We should check to see who was voting along with Sticks, for they are already guilty of the crime of witch-assisting.

    . . .

    . . .

    Two? How, again, do you know this?

    I was going to call him suspicious for simply moving the vote in a certain direction, but this works well too.

    Simonwolf

    Element Brian on
    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

    Arch,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
  • KeikaKeika Delectable tea, or deadly poison? Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    OooOOO

    I still better get cake!!
    I demand cake!

    I also demand vengeance, but cake should come first.

    oOOOoo

    Keika on
    "My fancies are fireflies / Specks of living light / twinkling in the dark." ~Rabindranath Tagore
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    simonwolf wrote: »
    But we cannot rest - there are still two witches amongst us! We should check to see who was voting along with Sticks, for they are already guilty of the crime of witch-assisting.

    . . .

    . . .

    Two? How, again, do you know this?

    I was going to call him suspicious for simply moving the vote in a certain direction, but this works well too.

    Simonwolf

    Yeah, I'm going to wait to see what he says. But he's saying the starting number was 3, and that's not even the average. Which kind of hurts his argument if he says it was a guess. But let's see what he says either way.

    Keika, I'll still give you cake! You're a newt, you can't eat much :P.

    kime on
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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    meow.

    why did I think I still had an hour?

    ugggh

    working in the garden is just plain....

    lonelyahava on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    No biggie. All you missed was me being awesome!

    kime on
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  • JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster Kitteh Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well, this one's somewhat easy. !Simonwolf

    JaysonFour on
    steam_sig.png
  • simonwolfsimonwolf so enough of this terror we deserve to know lightRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    simonwolf wrote: »
    But we cannot rest - there are still two witches amongst us! We should check to see who was voting along with Sticks, for they are already guilty of the crime of witch-assisting.

    . . .

    . . .

    Two? How, again, do you know this?

    I don't know, actually. I was just guessing by the fact that there were two people turned into newts.

    Shit, that really was an awkward thing to say. Ah well!

    EDIT: Yeah if I get voted out this round, I only have myself to blame. I would say "but you'll be getting rid of a villager blah blah blah", but that hasn't ever stopped people from voting a villager out in a phalla before.

    simonwolf on
  • SpectralSporkSpectralSpork Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Not buying it.

    !simonwolf

    SpectralSpork on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    That's an incredibly lame defense, !simonwolf

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I noticed that, kime.

    congrats on finally getting something right and helping out the village!

    I guess if you keep that up, I should run another mini and give you the vig sword again, eh?

    lonelyahava on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I noticed that, kime.

    congrats on finally getting something right and helping out the village!

    I guess if you keep that up, I should run another mini and give you the vig sword again, eh?

    Please God, no. That would just make us all kill him in every game day one to protect ourselves.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • simonwolfsimonwolf so enough of this terror we deserve to know lightRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    What kind of defense am I supposed to put up? I've already explained what happened, and nothing else is going to change the matter at hand.

    I could say "would I really be stupid enough to basically call myself out as a witch", but I doubt anyone would believe it, because the bandwagon has begun. That's how this game works, apparently.

    I said something stupid based on a guess, and now I'm paying the price. When I'm shown to be a villager in the next round-up, I don't really expect much to change, beyond people realising that what I said was exactly what I said it was - a stupid guess.

    simonwolf on
  • DusdaDusda is ashamed of this post Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well, judging from the size of the game (25 players) and the presence of the merc (I'm betting there is one more neutral out there, at least), I'd say there are three or four witches left. Assuming this is a (relatively) vanilla game, of course.

    Simon's the new guy, right? Mistaking the double newting last night for a sign that there are only two witches left clearly shows he doesn't entirely get the fact that abilities are (usually) used regardless of whether the user dies that night or not. I'm not saying he's good beyond a shadow of a doubt but I certainly don't have any reason to burn him yet.

    Lay off the man, for now.

    Dusda on
  • simonwolfsimonwolf so enough of this terror we deserve to know lightRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Dusda wrote: »
    Well, judging from the size of the game (25 players) and the presence of the merc (I'm betting there is one more neutral out there, at least), I'd say there are three or four witches left. Assuming this is a (relatively) vanilla game, of course.

    Simon's the new guy, right? Mistaking the double newting last night for a sign that there are only two witches left clearly shows he doesn't entirely get the fact that abilities are (usually) used regardless of whether the user dies that night or not. I'm not saying he's good beyond a shadow of a doubt but I certainly don't have any reason to burn him yet.

    Lay off the man, for now.

    Shit, is that how it works? I should really read up on the rules of this game.

    simonwolf on
  • Ultros64Ultros64 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Dusda wrote: »
    Well, judging from the size of the game (25 players) and the presence of the merc (I'm betting there is one more neutral out there, at least), I'd say there are three or four witches left. Assuming this is a (relatively) vanilla game, of course.

    Simon's the new guy, right? Mistaking the double newting last night for a sign that there are only two witches left clearly shows he doesn't entirely get the fact that abilities are (usually) used regardless of whether the user dies that night or not. I'm not saying he's good beyond a shadow of a doubt but I certainly don't have any reason to burn him yet.

    Lay off the man, for now.

    Hear hear. Let the man live.

    Ultros64 on
    It doesn't matter what I say, as long as I sing with inflection
  • GrimmyTOAGrimmyTOA Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    kime wrote: »
    No biggie. All you missed was me being awesome!

    High fives all 'round. For holiness!

    GrimmyTOA on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Dusda wrote: »
    Well, judging from the size of the game (25 players) and the presence of the merc (I'm betting there is one more neutral out there, at least), I'd say there are three or four witches left. Assuming this is a (relatively) vanilla game, of course.

    Simon's the new guy, right? Mistaking the double newting last night for a sign that there are only two witches left clearly shows he doesn't entirely get the fact that abilities are (usually) used regardless of whether the user dies that night or not. I'm not saying he's good beyond a shadow of a doubt but I certainly don't have any reason to burn him yet.

    Lay off the man, for now.

    Shit, is that how it works? I should really read up on the rules of this game.

    It's usually how it works, yes. (Not always though.) But I'm still not convinced. . . simonwolf for now, but I may change that tomorrow. I'll see how kind I'm feeling in the morning :P.

    @ahava: I should get a vig sword! I'd be awesome!! Actually, if I recall correctly, your mini was my first vig position, and I won!

    @ebum: :evil:

    kime on
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  • GrimmyTOAGrimmyTOA Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Errrr: Also, I think Simon's made a pretty understandable mistake. I think we should let him live tonight. Anyone have a vote breakdown for last night?

    GrimmyTOA on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    GrimmyTOA wrote: »
    Errrr: Also, I think Simon's made a pretty understandable mistake. I think we should let him live tonight. Anyone have a vote breakdown for last night?
    Yeah, what did you want specifically? Just who voted for whom in the end, or. . .?

    kime on
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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yes, Kime.

    You won the game.

    After killing like, half the other munchkins in the game.

    But yes, you did win darling.

    lonelyahava on
  • DusdaDusda is ashamed of this post Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    GrimmyTOA wrote: »
    Errrr: Also, I think Simon's made a pretty understandable mistake. I think we should let him live tonight. Anyone have a vote breakdown for last night?
    Reposted from the previous page.

    Sticks - 7
    Kime - 5
    Toxic Toys - 3
    Spectralspork, simonwolf, JaysonFour - 2
    with the odd one here and there

    e: Oh you probably want a whole voting record. Mr. Fancy.

    Dusda on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yes, Kime.

    You won the game.

    After killing like, half the other munchkins in the game.

    But yes, you did win darling.
    :P It was a good strategy! Kill everyone, and the baddies are sure to be dead!

    Yeah, let's see what we've got with votes. . .

    Sticks - 7
    Element Brian
    enlightenedbum
    GrimmyTOA
    Keika
    kime
    simonwolf
    TheLawinator

    kime - 5
    arasaki
    Jason Todd
    Mr. Defacation
    Sticks
    Zandracon

    Toxic Toys - 3
    delroland
    JaysonFour
    lonelyahava

    JaysonFour - 2
    Dusda
    Ultros64

    simonwolf - 2
    SpectralSpork
    Tommy2Hands

    SpectralSpork - 2
    Kay
    The_Reflection

    Dusda - 1
    Loxx

    Jason Todd - 1
    cj iwakura

    Keika - 1
    MacGuffin

    lonelyahava - 1
    Toxic Toys

    kime on
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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'd like to point out that after simonwolf and I agreed on switching votes over to Sticks, most of the people voting for simon did so. But very few of the people voting for me did so. Trying to keep someone else besides Sticks in the lead? So depending on how this simonwolf thing turns out, we may want to look at some of the people that kept their vote on me (one of whom is, in fact, Sticks).

    Of course, depends on who was around near the end. Can't fault people for not switching if they weren't even online.

    kime on
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