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Lonely Nerd in T.O.
Dread Pirate Arbuthnot
OMG WRIGGLYT O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
OMG WRIGGLYT O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
So I'm this 18 year old living in Toronto, I'm finishing up high school, and right now I'm in a time in my life where I don't have a lot of friends.
There are a lot of clubs at my school, and I've tried a lot. I have really bad social anxiety, so just going to the clubs was a big achievement in the first place, but they just weren't for me. My school's sports teams required tryouts, were competitive, and there were cuts, and I was more interested in something more laid back. I tried guitar club and debate club, but friends from there just didn't stick. I've found out from just hangin' from people that I tend to get along better with people in their 20s, and now that I'm graduating that seems a lot more viable.
I tried going to a 'popular' kid party, but honestly, it was just boring. People drinking and getting high and then just sitting around didn't appeal to me, and I don't share interests with anyone there.
My boyfriend has a group of friends who its a ton of fun to hang out with and we get on well but man I don't want to muscle in on his friend-group and be all WE ARE HIVEMIND WE ARE ONE
I'd love to find like, a secret nerd cabal in Toronto. I've been to games workshop and met people there but a lot of the people there are really socially awkward or way older than I am or whatever. But if I could find a way to meet D&D interested, video game playin' nerds and make friendships that'd be swell. I'm just not sure how.
(Oh, and as a lady, I'm a little afraid to try like Craigslist or something because how many weirdos use that site, seriously)
There are a lot of clubs at my school, and I've tried a lot. I have really bad social anxiety, so just going to the clubs was a big achievement in the first place, but they just weren't for me. My school's sports teams required tryouts, were competitive, and there were cuts, and I was more interested in something more laid back. I tried guitar club and debate club, but friends from there just didn't stick. I've found out from just hangin' from people that I tend to get along better with people in their 20s, and now that I'm graduating that seems a lot more viable.
I tried going to a 'popular' kid party, but honestly, it was just boring. People drinking and getting high and then just sitting around didn't appeal to me, and I don't share interests with anyone there.
My boyfriend has a group of friends who its a ton of fun to hang out with and we get on well but man I don't want to muscle in on his friend-group and be all WE ARE HIVEMIND WE ARE ONE
I'd love to find like, a secret nerd cabal in Toronto. I've been to games workshop and met people there but a lot of the people there are really socially awkward or way older than I am or whatever. But if I could find a way to meet D&D interested, video game playin' nerds and make friendships that'd be swell. I'm just not sure how.
(Oh, and as a lady, I'm a little afraid to try like Craigslist or something because how many weirdos use that site, seriously)
Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
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Other than meeting other PAers around Toronto (which may or may not be creepy to you), you may as well at least be casual friends with your b/f's group.
I'm not from Canada so I don't know of other avenues you could take over there, but I'm sure others here do. Just know that if you're planning on going to ANY college, be it community or university, that it is much easier to meet people with the same interests.
Weaboo List
Maybe you could take night class in something you're interested in, too.
Anyone want to beta read a paranormal mystery novella? Here's your chance.
stream
I don't mind meeting with PAers but the idea of trying to start a "TO Pax" seems intimidating and fruitless to me.
And right now, I don't know what Im doing after high school. I don't want to make plans based on that quite yet until I nail down some sort of action beyond "not sit in the house all day"
.... wow that's a super creepy way of saying it but you know what I meant.
I attended an anime convention out here in LA last year and I ended up meeting like 10 awesome people who I still keep in contact with.
You could also do a search like "Toronto D&D" or "Toronto gaming" or "Toronto anime" etc and see if you can find forums or websites for local groups who have meetups etc. In California at least, there are tons of groups who do weekly hangouts where they watch a movie or shows, or they get together at an arcade etc.
Weaboo List
As a resort I've never tried myself are there gaming groups who post for new members at Harry T's or the Silver Snail? I've never thought to look, but they seem like the kind of place that would support that.
That's not to say that you shouldn't try to get your own circle, but don't think you can't enjoy what's already there.
I seem to recall that you dig Warhammer (RPG & table top?), perhaps perusing some local game shops might give you an idea as to where you might find some likeminded folks for the ocassional game, chat or shenanigans?
As an occasionally introverted T.O. nerd myself, I've also pondered how I might get into a D&D group, find more likeminded souls for Magic: The Gathering games, or just someone to drag off to see the latest big sci-fi / action flick during the summer with, which isn't always easy, depending on people's inclinations and schedules, but keep at it and know that we're rooting for you!
D&D.
Wargaming. Bonus points for naming themselves "Canucks Amuck."
Anime.
Discworld.
Axis&Allies.
Toronto also seems to be some sort of mystical nexus for guitar playing clubs, so if that's what you are keen on, there were so many that it would have been silly to list them.
I have never used meetup.com, but it could be worth a nose through, I know other PA'ers have gotten on well with the site.
I can't speak for Toronto, but where I am there are a whole lot of nerds/geeks on OkCupid, which might be worth checking out in the context of "people who I can hang out with," as opposed to “people I want to hook up with.â€
If you enjoy roleplaying, check out your local Camarilla too. Be sure to take holy water and garlic though, in case it turns out to be one of the weird chapters! =p
Actually, ask him if it bothers him. Tell him you get along well with his friends, but don't want to intrude on his group, as it were, if he thinks it would be awkward having the same friends as you.
My opinion anyway. As a boyfriend I wouldn't want to tell me girlfriend outright that I do not want her to hang out with my friends if they get along, even if I feel uncomfortable about it. I'd want her to be happy, so to shut her away from her friends like that...
There's probably some club, somewhere, that does stuff you would like. Anime, video games, lit magazine (even if you don't like writing/editing, these usually attract some pretty groovy folks), something.
I'm about 10 weeks from graduating and I've tried out clubs. I think the high school ship has sailed - I'm looking for post high school friend opportunities now.
and Sharp, it turns out I hate 40k
Well then play Fantasy, silly. Also try out Battlefleet Gothic. It's better and more accessible than 40K.
If you're graduating so soon, wait till college! Chances are, when you get there, if it was a school you actually wanted to go to, then you will find plenty of like-minded people.
Kinda a weird question, Cass, but were you okay tonight? I know afterwards when I was with Tofu and Artreus we all thought you were pretty cool. I don't know a lot about D&D stuff but I can usually throw down in whatever video game. We should grab Killjoy and Deemer and make more of a point of seeing each other.
This. As a guy with a pretty close-knit circle of guy-friends, I can say that theres nothing cooler than someone who has a girlfriend that can actually hang with the group. Too often the girlfriend will end up being on the "other side" and the boyfriend ends up in a situation of being pulled between the two groups ("ugh, I wish so-and-so didn't have to bring her")
If you can hang out with his friends, and you guys all genuinely get along well, then by all means keep hanging out with them
I know how you feel as a female going to meet a bunch of strangers. Persuade your boyfriend or some other friend to go along to the first session with you, to make sure they are not loonies.