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With Great Prompts Comes Great Responsibility
Muse Among Men
Suburban Bunny Princess?Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
Suburban Bunny Princess?Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
First off, know that all California students are required to pass the CAHSEE (high school exit exam). Today we were doing the English portion. At the end was an essay; I couldn't believe how perfect the prompt was:
"Imagine you are a journalist for a local newspaper writing an article about a notable member of the community. Write a description of the person and provide events that display their good qualities."
I donned the title of Samantha Bee of the Daily Report, and chose to write about
SPIDERMAN
Good gosh, what have I done?
EDIT: Approximation of essay below
News can be glum and dreary. Opening your daily paper is to be presented with vaguely to overly descriptive accounts of crime. I, Samantha Bee of the Daily Report, raised this subject to my editor once, and was tasked with writing a heartwarming story about an exemplary citizen.
Who to write about? Tim Gunn? Surely his scare-tactics and sneaky antics have made the community a more stylish place; I haven't seen socks paired with open toed sneakers or adult women in 'Juicy' booty shorts in weeks! However, Aasiv Mandvi is already doing an article on him. Ms. Frizzle, the teacher who teaches her children the wonder of learning? A student broke her arm on a fieldtrip and an investigation is under way ... I could go on, but I have chosen a most arachnid persona:
SPIDERMAN
I write about 'Spidey' not only in hopes that we outsell The Daily Planet, but that he may not be taken for granted. Everyone is familiar with him, freelance photographer Peter Parker kindly provides us all with splendid pictures. He is recognizable in his red and blue jumpsuit, a friendly spider emblazoned on his chest. He is known for his great strength and agility, hair-raising acrobatic feats and crime-fighting finesse.
Parker, who knows our arachnid arbiter better than most journalists, assures me that Spiderman is most courteous and funny, "He is a strikingly debonair dude. Even with the mask you can tell he is handsome and smart. Also he cares about the community tons." I will try to express our sentiments with more grace than Parker, who is well meaning if with a juvenile vocabulary.
There is plenty of crime to go around. Our police force has proven inept against the likes of The HobGlobin and Craven the Hunter. We are fortunate to have such an amazing individual to protect us from such dangers when our own incompetent police fail to do so. Does he act as a deterrent? Does he cause crime-rates to drop? Debatable, but the number of people he has rescued numbers into the hundreds, and all are thankful that he was there when they were in danger.
Spiderman is certainly an perceptional citizen. When not fighting crime, he has been seen picking up litter. Indeed he is a very green hero, championing environmental awareness and even licensing his image at key times, donating all profits to charity. Earth's Caretakers, for example, has received impressive sums from him.
When not kicking butt or hugging trees, Spiderman is reaching out to our youth. He realizes that our children are the future and knows his influence over them. He is a strong advocate for literacy, appearing at bookfairs, reading to children, even writing bestselling children's novels about his adventures. He also displays strong interest in the sciences and has made numerous contributions. He is cited as, "There exists not enough interest or emphasis."
At his core, Spiderman is a selfless character, who wants nothing more than to see our community prosper. He does what is right even when it is difficult and wishes for more to do the same. I personally have been affected by his story, as have other people I know. We try to do better, be better. Spiderman puts it best however, better than I could: "With great power comes great responsibility."
Imagine if everyone in New York applied that to their lives, where would we be?
"Imagine you are a journalist for a local newspaper writing an article about a notable member of the community. Write a description of the person and provide events that display their good qualities."
I donned the title of Samantha Bee of the Daily Report, and chose to write about
SPIDERMAN
Good gosh, what have I done?
EDIT: Approximation of essay below
News can be glum and dreary. Opening your daily paper is to be presented with vaguely to overly descriptive accounts of crime. I, Samantha Bee of the Daily Report, raised this subject to my editor once, and was tasked with writing a heartwarming story about an exemplary citizen.
Who to write about? Tim Gunn? Surely his scare-tactics and sneaky antics have made the community a more stylish place; I haven't seen socks paired with open toed sneakers or adult women in 'Juicy' booty shorts in weeks! However, Aasiv Mandvi is already doing an article on him. Ms. Frizzle, the teacher who teaches her children the wonder of learning? A student broke her arm on a fieldtrip and an investigation is under way ... I could go on, but I have chosen a most arachnid persona:
SPIDERMAN
I write about 'Spidey' not only in hopes that we outsell The Daily Planet, but that he may not be taken for granted. Everyone is familiar with him, freelance photographer Peter Parker kindly provides us all with splendid pictures. He is recognizable in his red and blue jumpsuit, a friendly spider emblazoned on his chest. He is known for his great strength and agility, hair-raising acrobatic feats and crime-fighting finesse.
Parker, who knows our arachnid arbiter better than most journalists, assures me that Spiderman is most courteous and funny, "He is a strikingly debonair dude. Even with the mask you can tell he is handsome and smart. Also he cares about the community tons." I will try to express our sentiments with more grace than Parker, who is well meaning if with a juvenile vocabulary.
There is plenty of crime to go around. Our police force has proven inept against the likes of The HobGlobin and Craven the Hunter. We are fortunate to have such an amazing individual to protect us from such dangers when our own incompetent police fail to do so. Does he act as a deterrent? Does he cause crime-rates to drop? Debatable, but the number of people he has rescued numbers into the hundreds, and all are thankful that he was there when they were in danger.
Spiderman is certainly an perceptional citizen. When not fighting crime, he has been seen picking up litter. Indeed he is a very green hero, championing environmental awareness and even licensing his image at key times, donating all profits to charity. Earth's Caretakers, for example, has received impressive sums from him.
When not kicking butt or hugging trees, Spiderman is reaching out to our youth. He realizes that our children are the future and knows his influence over them. He is a strong advocate for literacy, appearing at bookfairs, reading to children, even writing bestselling children's novels about his adventures. He also displays strong interest in the sciences and has made numerous contributions. He is cited as, "There exists not enough interest or emphasis."
At his core, Spiderman is a selfless character, who wants nothing more than to see our community prosper. He does what is right even when it is difficult and wishes for more to do the same. I personally have been affected by his story, as have other people I know. We try to do better, be better. Spiderman puts it best however, better than I could: "With great power comes great responsibility."
Imagine if everyone in New York applied that to their lives, where would we be?
Muse Among Men on
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But that still sounds like a rad essay.
But you will pass the cool test
Luckily, the school I went to we didn't have to, but the following years class did.
Did they appreciate it? Did you pass?
I reckon. I'm in college now and I never heard anything else about it.
As long as you demonstrate the functional ability to use the English language you will pass high school standardized tests. Every time.
Basically just showing them the differences between a 1,2,3 and 4 papers
They were a lot more attentive when the subject was getting out of High School
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though Spider-Man is a kickin' rad subject, so I'm going to give you a B++.
At least three paragraphs
An introduction, a body and a conclusion
Don't introduce any new ideas in the body paragraphs that wasn't introduced in the first paragraph and nothing in the last paragraph that wasn't in the rest of the essay
And include as much detail as you possibly can
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Who to write about? Tim Gunn? Surely his scare-tactics and sneaky antics have made the community a more stylish place; I haven't seen socks paired with open toed sneakers or adult women in 'Juicy' booty shorts in weeks! However, Aasiv Mandvi is already doing an article on him. Ms. Frizzle, the teacher who teaches her children the wonder of learning? A student broke her arm on a fieldtrip and an investigation is under way ... I could go on, but I have chosen a most arachnid persona:
SPIDERMAN"
I remember a couple years ago one of the questions was "What is 7 - 9?"
Also when I took it my essay topic was about starting a business, so I wrote about my idea for a business that would sell bee costumes for dogs
it was such a good essay
Parker, who knows our arachnid arbiter better than most journalists, assures me that Spiderman is most courteous and funny, "He is a strikingly debonair dude. Even with the mask you can tell he is handsome and smart. Also he cares about the community tons." I will try to express our sentiments with more grace than Parker, who is well meaning if with a juvenile vocabulary."
The only sensible thing.
8)
if I ever grade english essays alliteration will get extra credit, because alliteration? always awesome.
Would you care to tell me what the math portion was like, aside from 7-9?
but the famous parker luck
Jon Stewart is going to be pissed when he hears that Sam Bee is moonlighting for the Daily Report
Well, after John Oliver.
I thought it was the sort of thing you would find in a newspaper article.
"There is plenty of crime to go around. Our police force has proven inept against the likes of The HobGlobin and Craven the Hunter. We are fortunate to have such an amazing individual to protect us from such dangers when our own incompetent police fail to do so. Does he act as a deterrent? Does he cause crime-rates to drop? Debatable, but the number of people he has rescued numbers into the hundreds, and all are thankful that he was there when they were in danger."
Nooo.
I know a dude who straight up left the essay blank because of how lazy he was, and he still passed
Tumblr blargh
I thought blank got rated No Response
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it's adorable
Tumblr blargh
"Spiderman is certainly an perceptional citizen. When not fighting crime, he has been seen picking up litter. Indeed he is a very green hero, championing environmental awareness and even licensing his image at key times, donating all profits to charity. Earth's Caretakers, for example, has received impressive sums from him.
When not kicking butt or hugging trees, Spiderman is reaching out to our youth. He realizes that our children are the future and knows his influence over them. He is a strong advocate for literacy, appearing at bookfairs, reading to children, even writing bestselling children's novels about his adventures. He also displays strong interest in the sciences and has made numerous contributions. He is cited as, "There exists not enough interest or emphasis."
If this is anything like the Ohio Graduation Test, you got an +A for being even remotely coherent